consiglieri Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 A number of years ago, I loaned a hardback church book to a fellow member, a 60-something year old lady named Diana. She was very nice and a teacher of the gospel doctrine class.Well, time went by and she didn't get around to returning the book, so my wife mentioned it to her.She came over to our house right away and returned the book . . .. . . only it wasn't the book she had borrowed.It had the same plastic slip-on cover as the book she had borrowed, but when my wife opened it up, the actual book inside was a steamy sex novel.We had a good laugh imagining why this sister would do this.I bring it up just to see if anybody thinks this story provides insights into the subject of Mormons and sexuality.(And because it's pretty funny!)All the Best!--Consiglieri
Marchese Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Hehe! My MIL hides hers......I noticed one she had left out(plentiful bosom and all), plus a Cosmo that said something to the effect of having great sex after 40, and her face got sooooo red. I just kinda chuckled at her and she said, "Well! *stutter, sputter* I have to keep my marriage alive too!".
bluebell Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Oh how embarrassing. Honestly though, i don't know that it says anything about mormons and sexuality. I think it says more about mormons and trying to appear to have no weaknesses, even to ourselves. I see it as being equal to a mormon putting their decafeinated(sp?) coffee into a hot chocolate container or something like that.
Mark Beesley Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 A number of years ago, I loaned a hardback church book to a fellow member, a 60-something year old lady named Diana. She was very nice and a teacher of the gospel doctrine class.Well, time went by and she didn't get around to returning the book, so my wife mentioned it to her.She came over to our house right away and returned the book . . .. . . only it wasn't the book she had borrowed.It had the same plastic slip-on cover as the book she had borrowed, but when my wife opened it up, the actual book inside was a steamy sex novel.We had a good laugh imagining why this sister would do this.I bring it up just to see if anybody thinks this story provides insights into the subject of Mormons and sexuality.(And because it's pretty funny!)All the Best!--ConsiglieriYou don't really believe it was a mistake do you? Quit neglecting your wife. Get off the internet and go have some fun!!!
dblagent007 Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 My MIL claimed that the Spirit told her to get her bosoms enlarged. Unsurprisingly, my FIL didn't have any objections to that revelation.Edited to add: You know, I wonder if these cosmetic enhancements will rise with us in the resurrection like tattoos? Or do we only get to keep the bad enhancements?
LDSMusic483 Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 You don't really believe it was a mistake do you? Quit neglecting your wife. Get off the internet and go have some fun!!!
The Nehor Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 My MIL claimed that the Spirit told her to get her bosoms enlarged. Unsurprisingly, my FIL didn't have any objections to that revelation.Edited to add: You know, I wonder if these cosmetic enhancements will rise with us in the resurrection like tattoos? Or do we only get to keep the bad enhancements?Ressurrected beings are sexually perfect as well as physically perfect.I don't think cosmetic enhancements or tattoos rise with the resurrection anymore then I expect my scoliosis to rise with me.If you're ever having self-worth issues ask God to show you what you'll look like once you rise again. Insta-cure.
emeliza Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 How did you wife do the trade to get the right book back?
The Nehor Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 How did you wife do the trade to get the right book back?Oh yes, please tell me this story has a sequel.
consiglieri Posted October 16, 2008 Author Posted October 16, 2008 How did you wife do the trade to get the right book back?I honestly think we decided getting the right book back wasn't worth the embarrassment it would cause this lady.We're saints, remember?All the Best!--Consiglieri
The Nehor Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 I honestly think we decided getting the right book back wasn't worth the embarrassment it would cause this lady.We're saints, remember?All the Best!--ConsiglieriSo this story has a sad ending? Awwwwww.....
emeliza Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 We're saints, remember?Your wife must be a good women. I can't imagine that was your idea. I wonder what people would think of the book I am reading right now. It is fantasy and on the cover is a scantily clad chick (she is the mortal servant/queen of the god in the story). Really cool outfit though with all these leather and metal and such. I guess I never really thought about it.
consiglieri Posted October 16, 2008 Author Posted October 16, 2008 Your wife must be a good women.I see Bat-Man isn't the only one with a Freudian slip.
Catholic Girl Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 This sort of reminds me of a similar situation I experienced.The people who used to live across the street from us were very devout and active Presbyterians. They often invited us to their church functions. They were in their seventies. One time they went out of town for quite some time and asked us to pick up their mail while they were gone. So everyday I went across the street and got their mail. Imagine my surprise when one day sitting on top was a magazine in a plain, brown wrapper that had been ripped during shipment. I could easily see it was Hustler. Yes, the sweet elderly religious gentleman across the street had a subscription to Hustler! That was awkward giving him his mail. He must have been embarrassed. We were embarassed to give it him for fear he would think WE ripped open the wrapper. We never said a word and neither did he. But I have to admit I saw him differently. I understand Hustler to be more explicit.....I don't think it would have bothered me as much if it had been a subscription to Playboy.
consiglieri Posted October 16, 2008 Author Posted October 16, 2008 We never said a word and neither did he. But I have to admit I saw him differently. I understand Hustler to be more explicit.....I don't think it would have bothered me as much if it had been a subscription to Playboy.At least he wasn't putting a different book cover on it and taking it with him to church to enjoy during the service.
Catholic Girl Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 At least he wasn't putting a different book cover on it and taking it with him to church to enjoy during the service. Well, we don't know that for sure......
TJane Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Your wife must be a good women. I can't imagine that was your idea. Well, we don't know if his wife read the book before getting rid of it, do we? *wenchly chuckle*I wonder what people would think of the book I am reading right now. It is fantasy and on the cover is a scantily clad chick (she is the mortal servant/queen of the god in the story). Really cool outfit though with all these leather and metal and such. I guess I never really thought about it.Great. Now the guys are gonna want to know the title of the book. I know what you mean, though. So many sci-fi books have provocative covers. Even if there's no smut in them at all.Reminds me of one of my favorite Louis L'Amour books - The KeyLock Man where the man is standing, holding a gun while the woman is kneeling clutching him as she 'faints'. The hysterical thing is that at the end of the book where this scene plays out, the man and woman are in a cave, he's totally passed out because of an earlier fight, and she's the one with the rifle, holding the bad guys off. The sad thing is that they've changed the cover for newer editions of the book, so I had to find the picture on ebay. I may just buy this book because I love the irony so much. That, and it's a really good Western novel.Jane
Mighty Curelom Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 The only thing that surprises me about this story is that the woman tried to conceal the "romance" novel. In my experience, Mormons and non-Mormons alike have no qualms about reading that kind of book openly and shamelessly. It's an interesting double standard: while no man would dare bust out a copy of Jugs on the subway or in the work break-room, women don't have a problem reading so-called romance novels in public. But both mediums perform the same function; they are both pornography. Romance novels aren't considered porn by the general populace because, as James Brown put it, "this is a man's world." Men have historically been the main source and enforcers of cultural norms, and since men don't typically consider words on a page to have the same arousal effect as visual stimulation, it has escaped being categorized as pornography.
lagniappe Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Outside of church materials, my MIL only reads romance novels. That's funny for a few reasons. First of all, she is a very practical, unemotional woman and steamy romance novels don't seem to fit her personality. And second, she's the bishop's wife.
ttribe Posted October 16, 2008 Posted October 16, 2008 Not to call anyone to repentance or anything, but: http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgne..._&hideNav=1
consiglieri Posted October 16, 2008 Author Posted October 16, 2008 Not to call anyone to repentance or anything, but: http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgne..._&hideNav=1It appears Mighty Curelom was way ahead of you!
katherine the great Posted October 17, 2008 Posted October 17, 2008 I bring it up just to see if anybody thinks this story provides insights into the subject of Mormons and sexuality.(And because it's pretty funny!)All the Best!--ConsiglieriIt kind of reminds me of the time I went to help clean a little old LDS lady's house and I found a big bottle of brandy hiding behind the pine sol!
Yirgacheffe Posted October 17, 2008 Posted October 17, 2008 Ressurrected beings are sexually perfect as well as physically perfect.I don't think cosmetic enhancements or tattoos rise with the resurrection anymore then I expect my scoliosis to rise with me.If you're ever having self-worth issues ask God to show you what you'll look like once you rise again. Insta-cure.Could you define sexually perfect?
The Nehor Posted October 17, 2008 Posted October 17, 2008 Your wife must be a good women. I can't imagine that was your idea. :DI wonder what people would think of the book I am reading right now. It is fantasy and on the cover is a scantily clad chick (she is the mortal servant/queen of the god in the story). Really cool outfit though with all these leather and metal and such. I guess I never really thought about it.What is the title of the book and will you marry me? Could you define sexually perfect?Perfect sexuality in every way. If you're looking for dimensions, then no.
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