Calm

What suggestions were those and when were they made? Perhaps some have already been implemented. Plus it’s alway interesting to hear people’s ideas, imo. If they were implemented after Prince made the suggestion, Prince could certainly have contributed as he is relatively well known, imo, and a leader or leaders or their advisors might have seen his suggestions somewhere, but we need to be careful not to attribute a cause and effect if we aren’t sure as someone else could have come up with the ideas independently of Prince if they were also aware of the issues. Some ‘solutions’ may even already be present, such as in the case of the original wear pants to church criticism where the leaders thought it was against the handbook to wear pants on Sunday when it was just a custom. added: looked it up and I see it’s a recent date. I will assume the suggestions are not currently in place. Maybe someone who loves the podcast would be willing to list some to talk about. I don’t do podcasts unless I have to and this is not a have to situation.

The problem here is whether or not it actually will make things better, we may be missing details in our judgment. I find it one thing to lie about ourselves in positive terms so our loved ones won’t worry about us when they can do nothing to help and another where it might change the behaviour of others or even ourselves in less healthy ways. For example, if we never share our concerns about a loved one’s weight or eating habits, but instead even act like we think they are healthy, are we supporting them wisely? Of course you need to be very, very careful in offering any criticism and often it’s better to be neutral or such as finding a way to give a compliment that is completely honest if you don’t have the time or the relationship needed to offer constructive criticism in a useful, positive way, so you are more building up rather than hurting. I think lying should be very limited and only used when there is no other option and it’s about hurting others. If it’s about hurting oneself, we need to be very careful we are not just making excuses to avoid difficult situations we could handle, but just don’t want to. I would never have lied to my mom about anything while she didn’t have dementia, for example, even though there might be tears, frustration, and too much of her telling me what she thought I should do rather than just letting me deal with it as I wanted (my parents were problem solvers and while Mom tried hard to help us in ways we wanted to be helped, she lacked some skills and also found it difficult to do nothing, which in my experience can be necessary to give us time to really figure out what the root of a problem is as acting too quickly may lead to us thinking we have solved something or should be able to solve it when we haven’t, adding complication and more confusion rather than helping). The classic “does this make me look fat?” question….are you really making it better if you simply say no when it does? If the person can’t change into something else, I wouldn’t criticize it and might instead compliment how the color works with skin color in some way or some other true positive thing to say if it looked like they needed a confidence builder and weren’t just fishing for a compliment. If they did have the opportunity to change, I wouldn’t bluntly say it looked awful, but likely say something like “it’s doesn’t work as well as the other outfits I have seen you in” or even “I don’t think it compliments your shape well”. If I knew someone well enough (I would hope if they were asking my opinion on how they looked that I knew them well), if they have time to change and they have or can afford something new, I would be realistic, but try to do so in a way that helps them make better decisions in the future rather than just gives them the idea of wrongness (“yea, it does make you look heavier because that ruffle adds weight at the hips that isn’t there; that should go into the donation pile”). People generally don’t need to be told they are fat and there is nothing in the isolated info “you are fat” that’s useful imo, but they can be helped by comments that reinforce the healthier or more useful things about them. Time and place is important. Avoid embarrassment as much as possible, but don’t reinforce destructive behaviour if you can be there to help support change. In discussions with my husband, whose weight can fluctuate with stress a lot, I tend to go to asking what he is having difficulty with in his life rather than telling him he needs to work more on getting on the treadmill or counting his calories since I know he uses the resources he has to control his weight, so there must be a reason why it’s happening rather than just not caring. This last round has been lack of quality sleep and being unable to exercise due to problems with his shoulder. I pushed him to take care of that sooner than later and he’s already looking less tired. Iow, it’s all about context and there are often ways to work within the context to discuss things with others that don’t require lying, so it should never be seen as default or automatic, imo.

I am bad at spoken language, determining what is different and why, and could only provide online references rather than personal experiences outside the obvious Fark/Fork that people have been mocking around me since I stayed with my grandma in 6th grade for a few months. So in order to provide some on point discussion, it would be fun if someone could find a full copy of this. https://www.proquest.com/openview/3b2db4bf62aacbdce4e841251d018ab8/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=1820945

Not my area of speciality or even familiarity, but I see it as aligning with LDS doctrine where we typically define angels as messengers of God, who can even be mortal humans at times. Though I would say most instances we assume it’s a resurrected person because of Moroni and others. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/bd/angels?lang=eng Here’s a comment by a Saint thinking along the same lines with references. https://www.facebook.com/groups/371293479631182/posts/8989837394443371/

The name thing is hilarious, but it is also fun. i thoroughly approve of slight variations especially if popular names, so as to allow kids to feel not cookie cutter (my name was written as Christine up until high school when I found out my mother wanted Cristine, but the nurse had automatically written it with an ‘h’ and Mom being even more concerned about bothering people than I was when younger, didn’t say anything. I immediately changed it because there were three Chrises in some of my classes and if I lost the h, it made us all unique (Chris, Kris, Cris). It just felt right. And I much prefer the look, though it is a bit of a hassle making sure it gets left out legal and medical stuff. When it’s unusual enough people wonder how to pronounce it, that can be a problem. If you just loved a really unusual construction, I would ensure there was a common nickname or middle name the kid could choose to use if they wanted to avoid attention if such bothered them as it would have me in my younger days. As far as the Utah accent, I find it varies depending on where one lives or lived as a kid. My husband was from Orem and I don’t remember him or his siblings or dad with much of one, his mom had a strong accent, but Aussie. There has been a huge influx of Californias, which is kind of American standard accent now due to Hollywood, so I really don’t hear Fark as much as Fork these days.

I don’t know about bluebell, but I am perfectly okay with leaving it as simply being your poorly written, scientifically incorrect opinion….kind of like the beliefs of flat earthers.

That’s lovely

Soil has always been our problem. Have a couple of trees yellowing due to lack of iron, we believe. Interveinal Chlorosis. Same thing is happening to a few trees on the block while trees next to the problem ones are fine. If we are right, means the soil likely has bad patches. My husband has tried a few different methods, one tree has gotten better, but the other two have not. It is possible it’s because of alkaline soil, which is common in Utah. Gardening is fun (when you have the energy), but can be tricky at times.

That would be a strong indicator of lack of sincerity, I would think.

No, I am not since you wrote it as a statement of fact, not personal experience. Neither did your friend if he made such a global statement as you claim. He didn’t limit it to you or other LDS that he knew and you didn’t say “he was right in my case”.

There is the possibility they had met missionaries before and been asked to read it.

You made a claim, I refuted it. My thread, I can say whether it’s allowed to ramble or not. And default for me is rambles and sidetracks allowed, especially once the opening post has been addressed, which in this case I thought had, though wouldn’t mind more opinions for future reference

What? It relied on actual writing to entertain? Astonishing!

I very much agree with this post. In this particular case, I want to both help out a kid I knew well and have fond memories of and communicate those feelings to both him and his parents (assuming they are helping out enough to know). I can’t without some intrusiveness find out actual level of need because the parents will say “don’t worry about it, they are doing fine” in most cases because they are kind to others and don’t want to impose and are well off enough themselves to help their kids out if needed. Since I can’t know actual need, I am depending on cultural expectations to convey that I care…thus my interest in the going rate. One reason why I don’t have a clue is I have been ignoring what that amount is in most of the weddings we are invited to (and my husband but not I attends) as I never talked to, sometimes even met their kids and often not even the parents if a coworker of my husband. My husband has given the gift, he mentions an amount and I say fine without thinking about it. I don’t know if he gives it to all he goes to, there’s lots he misses. In the cases where I do know them, it’s usually been family where I could ask a nonparent who gives me the straight scoop on actual need without regard to whether parents can help out or not. And everyone has been doing quite well lately or I have helped them out in other ways (like paying them generously for helping around the house as I have kept track of minimum wage, what they get paid at other jobs etc…..why am I going into all this detail? Must be bored, lol), so the wedding gift is more of a goodbye bonus.

This looks like a good site for you if you haven’t already found it. https://www.gardenersworld.com/plants/rose-problems-solved/ Also, you can start out with simple DIY tests to save money. Quite a few sites and videos pop up for “diy soils testing for gardens”. https://www.almanac.com/content/3-simple-diy-soil-tests#:~:text=Place 2 tablespoons of soil,the 5.5 to 7 range. They explain soil testing and at the bottom, after their pitch, offer the DIY tests. You can also test soil ph yourself by using ph test strips in addition to the vinegar and baking soda tests for more specific measurement. It’s recommended to spend more money on specialized test strips for soil, but I don’t know if that is accurate. Do it in several spots as soil may vary from one part of the garden to another, especially if you haven’t been adding enhancements to it like compost. We have a lot of clay in our backyard, sandy in one spot, and good soil in the part that started out as “garden” before we bought it (my husband has expanded that significantly since we have 1/4 acre or so to work with; I say “or so” because we gave some to our neighbour at that back so their kitchen window wasn’t two or three feet from the fence, we weren’t using it and they paid for a very nice privacy fence). I wouldn’t go for a phmeter unless you were really into it and had lots of money because from what I read the cheap ones aren’t too accurate. Just came across this option for ph: ”The least expensive method for checking soil pH is to use a dye indicator solution, like bromothymol blue. This will be blue around pH = 7.6, and yellow around pH = 6.5. In between these values, the solution will be varying shades of green. You have to dig up a tablespoon of soil, and make a slurry with distilled water. The slurry gets filtered, and the filtrate is what you test for pH. This method is not as precise as a pH meter, but it is reliable. A small bottle of test solution sells for around 2 dollars, and will do 50 or 100 tests.” https://www.houzz.com/discussions/1604994/comments-on-cheap-soil-ph-meters

Check out the dirt. I don’t know if the UK has the testing facilities, but in the US you can often find testing places in universities and government sites. You could be lacking something the plants need or not getting enough or getting too much drainage. Also look for pests, especially on the underside of the leaves, and infections. Wash your hands between looking at different plants and maybe even parts of one rose plant if you plan on cutting off infected or heavily damaged sections to avoid transfer (every little bit of caution might help). If you have local gardening groups on FB or other sites, you could get recommendations for the best services for your dollar. AI came up with this for you, starting with companies that might test (query was “garden soil testing in Lancashire, England”): Vibro Menard Ltd: Based in Ormskirk, they are open Monday-Friday from 8 am to 5:30 pm. D & A Scrivens & Son: Located in Kirkham, Preston, they are open Monday-Friday 8 am to 5 pm and Saturday 8 am to 1:30 pm. They are also open on Sundays (24 hours). Valley Stone & Soil Supplies: Situated in Haslingden, Rossendale, their hours are Monday-Friday 8 am to 5 pm and Saturday 9 am to 2 pm. Scrivens Compost: Located in Tarnbrick, they are open Monday-Friday 10 am to 6 pm. Seeds Building & Groundwork Ltd: In Preston, they operate Monday-Friday 9 am to 5 pm. Considerations Type of Testing: A basic soil test usually assesses pH, nitrogen, phosphorus, and potassium levels, costing roughly £18-24. More comprehensive soil analyses, like those offered by Buxton Hollow Farm, evaluate micronutrients, organic matter, and soil texture, providing a more holistic picture of soil health. Sample Collection: Collect soil samples from multiple locations in the area you intend to test to ensure a representative analysis. Scrape away surface residue before sampling to a depth that reflects the active root zone. Consistency: For consistent results, it is best to sample your soil at the same time each year, whether it's early fall or spring. Lab Recommendations: Consult your local garden centers or agricultural extension offices for advice on recommended testing labs in Lancashire. Interpreting Results pH Levels: Optimal pH for most crops is between 6 (slightly acidic) and 7.5 (slightly alkaline). Nutrient Levels: High levels of phosphorus and potassium can indicate that you may only need to add nitrogen. Professional Guidance: Seek help from garden centers or extension services in understanding and applying the recommendations from your soil test results. Garden centers might even help diagnosis problems if you show them damaged or infected leaves (take pictures or place leaves in glass jars so they can look at it without exposure of their own plants. You might want to doublecheck online to avoid costly treatments just in case you get an overeager sales person. AI on “common pests of roses in England”: Common rose pests in England include aphids (both greenfly and blackfly), rose slug sawfly, rose leaf rolling sawfly, and spider mites, especially in hot, dry conditions.Rose scale and less common but potentially damaging pests like thrips and rose chafer beetles can also be found

I am not impressed by your friend’s alleged insight given the bold is inaccurate. Or yours for that matter since you think he was right. LDS members’ disposable income does not go only to tithing, tithing is something we generally do as well as other charitable giving. In actual research, LDS are shown to not only use their disposable income and time for religious purposes such as tithing, they also contribute to their greater communities. And these secular contributions are quite significant, equal to what other Americans do and give on average, not less, even if the secular donations are less than the religious contributions to the Church. Iow, the Church contributions do not substitute for generosity to other causes, but is in addition to such causes if one compares to other Americans. https://penntoday.upenn.edu/news/penn-research-shows-mormons-are-generous-and-active-helping-others#:~:text=Researchers found that active members,that of the average American. My bolding… If interested in amounts of tithing and volunteer hours given to the Church, the article includes that. I left it out since my purpose was to refute the claim “all disposable income went to tithing”. I included hours to show LDS are willing to give up their ‘disposable’ time as well.

I would assume there would be quite a bit of influence given those who had read the Book of Mormon that I mentioned were believing Christians who talked about their experience because of answering LDS claims, often they had even read the BoM because of wanting to challenge LDS claims. It would make sense therefore for such nonLDS Christians to use similar language. I would be more interested in comparing what the same people say to different audiences and look at the consistencies and differences.

And yet instead of focusing on those people, you chose to phrase no bishop or counselor challenging them on their lies (which could happen for multiple reasons) as “bishop’s discernment fails”.

Not for me and other people with noise sensitivity as Texas Roadhouse tends to be loud from what I hear. Chili’s you have to be careful with time of day as that can get noisy in my experience. Besides the problem of hearing what my companions are saying, I don’t feel like ending the meal feeling like I was beaten by a baseball bat (do not ask me why my brain chooses to translate loud noise sometimes into physical abuse not only for my ears, but the rest of my body; I am tired of demanding an answer as my brain refuses to tell me why it is so masochistic). Cheesecake Factory is agony for those with lactose intolerance from what I hear. I have avoided it since since I got fibromyalgia, so I can’t share my personal experience there. All are probably off the list of vegans, though it’s been awhile since I hit Chili’s so I may be wrong there. I love me a good vegetarian, even vegan restaurant. Or did before I had to dump garlic and onions. So much flavor. It gets me to like beans even though I don’t like beans…except when ground up like in hummus yum yum (that’s its official name “hummus yum yum” btw). I used to make a tasty spinach soufflé (just do custard these days as much less work, it’s a favorite of my husband’s; I have yet to try it with lactose free milk, that’s in the refrigerator for next time as I decided it would be worth the risk since I have finally gotten bored and want some custard and pudding…and waffles for dipping…for myself). Highly recommend tofu to anyone willing to cook. It’s low calorie for the amount of protein you get, even less than chicken, and it will pick up any flavor you want as very bland itself. I just crumble up extra firm and treat it the same as ground meat. Soft/silken tofu is great in soups and desserts, but for those who need low FODMAP, stick with the firmer varieties***. Can use in the same with a bit more work at blending it. ***the problematic fermentable sugars are water dissolvable, so they are removed through the compression process, similar** to the difference between soft cheeses (danger, Will Robinson!!) and hard (blissful indulgence…well, except for the fat content). **the process for cheese includes digestion of these sugars by bacteria as well as pressing it to expel whey and then salting and aging while tofu is just getting all the water out by pressure, but in both cases hard is thumbs up, soft is thumbs down. PS: Ever wonder if is it grammatically acceptable to footnote a footnote? Apparently not according to AI, but I feel rebellious today. Oddly enough, I am not in the mood to eat today. Apparently just want to talk about eating.

I am not going to make my mother, who was suffering from dementia, feel unnecessary anxiety by telling her that her granddaughter no longer believes in the Church (she would not feel anxiety because of the loss of belief of my daughter, but by her own inability to provide the comfort and support she would think my daughter needed…which my daughter didn’t as it wasn’t an emotional thing for her except for when it bothered others). So yeah, I deceived by not correcting my mother when she said a few things which obviously meant she saw my daughter as an active believer. While it made me uncomfortable because I tend to want to provide clarity and accuracy to the best of my ability, I am not feeling the least bit ashamed about it and never have.

I see certain descriptions of him as vicious lies, but perhaps they really believed such things and this could be qualified as just vicious and not lies. But perhaps my definition of viciousness is different than most.

While I like the idea of restaurant cards as long as they are enough for a good meal for two (so they don’t have to make the decision if they are quite broke whether it’s worth it if they need to cover some of it), now that I think of it there is the issue of perhaps it’s not a restaurant they like (I hate noisy restaurants for example) or maybe they have food restrictions (even garlic and onions can be an issue for some people and would make experimenting with new cuisines difficult as many sauces/dishes have one or the other, if not both). I would suggest a steak house because steak and potato*** minus the toppings is probably safe for most, but then what if they are vegetarians (which is becoming more common it seems). ***did you know boiled or baked potatoes are generally considered the most satiating food—a boiled potato is rated 3 times as satisfying as the equivalent amount of white bread as well as being high volume for the calories. Fried potatoes on the other hand…I guess the oil adds too many calories so you don’t get that much potato. Satiation meaning reducing appetite here. I will take potatoes over legumes anytime. Book gift cards are typical in my family as we all love and most collect at least some type of book (even have a couple who have published children’s books among my nieces), but I have found them hard to use online so am wary of them now.

This is what I did as well (taught Primary for over 20 years, starting at age 17 with Sunbeams). Never just read the lesson to the kids. That would have been foolish as they would lose attention quickly. As far as any discussion (more than just a sentence) about the content of the Expositor, the overall memory is while it was seen as mainly lies and some nasty ones at that, the Expositor was also seen as much more dangerous than just a list of lies because there was some truth mixed in with those lies, thus making it more likely the lies would be believed. Why would it when it was accurate? It was not all vicious, it was not all lies. But there were many (imo) vicious (intentionally inflammatory imo) lies in it.

There have been a few posters on this board and another some of us old timers used to hang out on ZLMB who made the claim, iirc.