Serving other people.

[Snodgrassian]

This discussion on smiling reminds me of my mission.

I was in Kaliningrad, Russia, at the airport. There was a sticker on the ticketing window, only in English, it read:

”If we are not smiling it is because we are working hard to make you smile.”

It was perfect. 

[Dario_M]

3 minutes ago, Snodgrassian said:

This discussion on smiling reminds me of my mission.

I was in Kaliningrad, Russia, at the airport. There was a sticker on the ticketing window, only in English, it read:

”If we are not smiling it is because we are working hard to make you smile.”

It was perfect. 

That's really beautifull.

But yeah...in most casus i find it a bit creepy if a stranger smiles at me. It makes me wonder what that person wants from me... 🥶

[Snodgrassian]

For what it’s worth, I really enjoyed my trips to the Netherlands and found the locals warm and friendly. Spent many evenings sitting on the steps of a building eating cheese, or in a restaurant on the water/ canals. 

Good times, amazing people.

[Dario_M]

58 minutes ago, Snodgrassian said:

For what it’s worth, I really enjoyed my trips to the Netherlands and found the locals warm and friendly. Spent many evenings sitting on the steps of a building eating cheese, or in a restaurant on the water/ canals. 

Good times, amazing people.

Thank you so much. I'm agree with you. I also love the Netherlands a lot. It's my home.

I heard that the people from the US are also friendly. And really delicious food. Especially in Utah and Salt Lake City.  🩵 And the nature is amazing. Probably the most beautiful of the whole world. 🌲🌲🌲

Edited September 27, 2024 by Dario_M

[Calm]

3 hours ago, Dario_M said:

But yeah...in most casus i find it a bit creepy if a stranger smiles at me. It makes me wonder what that person wants from me... 🥶

Besides your culture it could be part of your autism.  Autists don’t smile as often.  Babies with autism smile later than babies without and for different reasons.  They don’t pay as close attention to faces as much.  It is really quite fascinating.

https://blueabatherapy.com/aba/do-babies-with-autism-smile-yes-but-differently/#:~:text=no-obligation consultation%3A-,Autism and Smiling,later than typically developing infants.

Because you might not smile when you are being socially welcoming, perhaps that leads you to feel uncomfortable when others do without more context to tell you why they are smiling,

You just might read and react to body language differently than many people.  There is not a wrong and right way to respond.  

The feeling that the other might be a creep might even be because of the abuse in your childhood.  You learned that people aren’t that trustworthy in your world and to protect yourself for good reason.

How about asking your partner how he feels if someone smiles at him on the street without telling him how you react first?  I would be curious to know if he feels the same way.  If he sees it the same way you do (assuming he is not autistic), my guess is your feelings annd interpretations of the meaning of smiles are mostly from your culture.

My daughter says my face is usually quite non expressive, she finds it hard to tell my emotions from it.  I was quite shocked because from the inside I feel expressive unless I am tired, but then I thought about my dad who it was impossible to know how he was feeling most of the time.  I don’t think he was unhappy at all, he seemed quite content with his life, but he rarely smiled.  

But when I am out in public I am very aware of smiling at people if our eyes meet because I don’t want them to think I am angry or think they are bad or whatever plus maybe it will cheer them up if they are having a bad day.

 

Edited September 27, 2024 by Calm

[Peacefully]

3 hours ago, Calm said:

Besides your culture it could be part of your autism.  Autists don’t smile as often.  Babies with autism smile later than babies without and for different reasons.  They don’t pay as close attention to faces as much.  It is really quite fascinating.

https://blueabatherapy.com/aba/do-babies-with-autism-smile-yes-but-differently/#:~:text=no-obligation consultation%3A-,Autism and Smiling,later than typically developing infants.

Because you might not smile when you are being socially welcoming, perhaps that leads you to feel uncomfortable when others do without more context to tell you why they are smiling,

You just might read and react to body language differently than many people.  There is not a wrong and right way to respond.  

The feeling that the other might be a creep might even be because of the abuse in your childhood.  You learned that people aren’t that trustworthy in your world and to protect yourself for good reason.

How about asking your partner how he feels if someone smiles at him on the street without telling him how you react first?  I would be curious to know if he feels the same way.  If he sees it the same way you do (assuming he is not autistic), my guess is your feelings annd interpretations of the meaning of smiles are mostly from your culture.

My daughter says my face is usually quite non expressive, she finds it hard to tell my emotions from it.  I was quite shocked because from the inside I feel expressive unless I am tired, but then I thought about my dad who it was impossible to know how he was feeling most of the time.  I don’t think he was unhappy at all, he seemed quite content with his life, but he rarely smiled.  

But when I am out in public I am very aware of smiling at people if our eyes meet because I don’t want them to think I am angry or think they are bad or whatever plus maybe it will cheer them up if they are having a bad day.

 

My face has a mind of its own, lol. Even when I think I have a poker face I’m pretty sure I am easy to read. Also, I smile all the time. Maybe it is a southern thing but it just comes naturally and usually I get a smile back:) 

[Calm]

1 hour ago, Peacefully said:

My face has a mind of its own, lol. Even when I think I have a poker face I’m pretty sure I am easy to read. Also, I smile all the time. Maybe it is a southern thing but it just comes naturally and usually I get a smile back:) 

I thought was my face too.  However, I might just have a decent poker face.

[Dario_M]

9 hours ago, Calm said:

Besides your culture it could be part of your autism.  Autists don’t smile as often.  Babies with autism smile later than babies without and for different reasons.  They don’t pay as close attention to faces as much.  It is really quite fascinating.

That's true it can have something to do with my autisme. But i think it's also a culture thing. People here just don't smile so much. 

9 hours ago, Calm said:

https://blueabatherapy.com/aba/do-babies-with-autism-smile-yes-but-differently/#:~:text=no-obligation consultation%3A-,Autism and Smiling,later than typically developing infants.

How interesting.

9 hours ago, Calm said:

Because you might not smile when you are being socially welcoming, perhaps that leads you to feel uncomfortable when others do without more context to tell you why they are smiling.

And this. If i would know the reason why strangers smile at me that would make a difference. 

9 hours ago, Calm said:

You just might read and react to body language differently than many people.  There is not a wrong and right way to respond.  

Thank you. 

9 hours ago, Calm said:

The feeling that the other might be a creep might even be because of the abuse in your childhood.  You learned that people aren’t that trustworthy in your world and to protect yourself for good reason.

Yeah i have a hard time trusting people in real live. I'm always kinda alert. When i walk outside i often look back. I've been abused a lot. Especially in Portugal. People have done a lot to me there. Broken my nosse because they wanted to steel my backpack. Groups have threatend and chased me. In the psychiatric ward i felt often abused. mentaly by the nurses. The fact that they've forced me to some dangerous medication is also abuse in my eyes. Because it has damaged my eyes and ears. Made me gain weight. And more nasty side effects. That also has damaged me.... it has given me a trauma. I still have nightmare's about that. I actually just should sue that whole hospital. But in a corrupt country like Portugal that won't do. 

9 hours ago, Calm said:

How about asking your partner how he feels if someone smiles at him on the street without telling him how you react first?

Yesterday i have asked him this question. His answer was that he wouldn't be creeped out by that person. But he wouldn't smile back either. Because he doesn't know that person. And my boyfriend is just a 100% Dutch guy. So it is also a culture thing here. People don't smile as much all the time. And they find it a bit strange if a stenger smiles at them for no reason. If there is a reason behind it then it's okay. But just smile at a stranger without reason is seen as something strange. People do greet each other sometimes though. But without a smile. 

9 hours ago, Calm said:

 I would be curious to know if he feels the same way.  If he sees it the same way you do (assuming he is not autistic), my guess is your feelings annd interpretations of the meaning of smiles are mostly from your culture.

It's a bit of both. It can be a culture thing. But my autisme makes it worse. 

9 hours ago, Calm said:

My daughter says my face is usually quite non expressive, she finds it hard to tell my emotions from it.  I was quite shocked because from the inside I feel expressive unless I am tired, but then I thought about my dad who it was impossible to know how he was feeling most of the time.  I don’t think he was unhappy at all, he seemed quite content with his life, but he rarely smiled.  

Haha😉 you would fit perfectly here then Calm. That's how all the Dutch people act. 

But maybe you also have autisme and that's why you're face is non expressive. And other people can't figure out your emotions. But i don't think that's a bad thing. Do you? Maybe that you do that unconsciously as a defense mechanism, to protect yourself. But uhm... is it so common in the US that people constantly have to show their emtions then?? 

9 hours ago, Calm said:

But when I am out in public I am very aware of smiling at people if our eyes meet because I don’t want them to think I am angry or think they are bad or whatever plus maybe it will cheer them up if they are having a bad day.

 

Aawh that's kinda nice of you. But when you smile at strangers does your smile always get answered back with a smile from that stranger? Or have you ever experienced someone not smiling back to you? And if someone wouldn't smile back to you would you feel offended by that? I'm curious...because i just can't imagine that even in the US people always smile back to you when you smile at them for no reason. 

[Calm]

2 hours ago, Dario_M said:

. But when you smile at strangers does your smile always get answered back with a smile from that stranger? Or have you ever experienced someone not smiling back to you? And if someone wouldn't smile back to you would you feel offended by that?

I mostly get smiles. I don’t get offended or put off by others not smiling back as I just think they are preoccupied. 

[Dario_M]

2 hours ago, Calm said:

I mostly get smiles. I don’t get offended or put off by others not smiling back as I just think they are preoccupied. 

Yeah recognizable. My boyfriend also told me that he's mostly also just preoccupied and doesn't even pays attention most of the time. So that's another reason why he doesn't smile at strangers. 

[manol]

During his near-death experience, Howard Storm asked Jesus what he wanted him to do.  Jesus said, "love the person you're with."  He said that would change the world.

 

[The Nehor]

8 minutes ago, manol said:

During his near-death experience, Howard Storm asked Jesus what he wanted him to do.  Jesus said, "love the person you're with."  He said that would change the world.

 

What if you are with multiple people?

[Dario_M]

15 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

What if you are with multiple people?

Then you need to love them all. Even if there is a murderer among them. 💀

[Tacenda]

On 9/28/2024 at 12:44 AM, Dario_M said:

That's true it can have something to do with my autisme. But i think it's also a culture thing. People here just don't smile so much. 

How interesting.

And this. If i would know the reason why strangers smile at me that would make a difference. 

Thank you. 

Yeah i have a hard time trusting people in real live. I'm always kinda alert. When i walk outside i often look back. I've been abused a lot. Especially in Portugal. People have done a lot to me there. Broken my nosse because they wanted to steel my backpack. Groups have threatend and chased me. In the psychiatric ward i felt often abused. mentaly by the nurses. The fact that they've forced me to some dangerous medication is also abuse in my eyes. Because it has damaged my eyes and ears. Made me gain weight. And more nasty side effects. That also has damaged me.... it has given me a trauma. I still have nightmare's about that. I actually just should sue that whole hospital. But in a corrupt country like Portugal that won't do. 

Yesterday i have asked him this question. His answer was that he wouldn't be creeped out by that person. But he wouldn't smile back either. Because he doesn't know that person. And my boyfriend is just a 100% Dutch guy. So it is also a culture thing here. People don't smile as much all the time. And they find it a bit strange if a stenger smiles at them for no reason. If there is a reason behind it then it's okay. But just smile at a stranger without reason is seen as something strange. People do greet each other sometimes though. But without a smile. 

It's a bit of both. It can be a culture thing. But my autisme makes it worse. 

Haha😉 you would fit perfectly here then Calm. That's how all the Dutch people act. 

But maybe you also have autisme and that's why you're face is non expressive. And other people can't figure out your emotions. But i don't think that's a bad thing. Do you? Maybe that you do that unconsciously as a defense mechanism, to protect yourself. But uhm... is it so common in the US that people constantly have to show their emtions then?? 

Aawh that's kinda nice of you. But when you smile at strangers does your smile always get answered back with a smile from that stranger? Or have you ever experienced someone not smiling back to you? And if someone wouldn't smile back to you would you feel offended by that? I'm curious...because i just can't imagine that even in the US people always smile back to you when you smile at them for no reason. 

I'm so glad you're in the Netherlands, hopefully a lot safer than when you were in Portugal. I'm sorry that happened to you.

[manol]

On 10/1/2024 at 11:40 AM, The Nehor said:

What if you are with multiple people?

Then imo you are that much further along. Time and geography and resources and societal (including religious) norms are among the inevitable constraints on loving relationships here in this telestial world, but I think that love itself increases rather than decreases by being shared. I do not expect heaven to be a place where love is constrained, but I don't know the mechanics of how that would work.

I think there is a level at which the pattern is more like a web, each of us being closely connected with several or many others (who in turn are each connected with several or many others), rather than like a bunch of pairings which (in practice) results in so many not being paired with anyone. I think Joseph Smith's thinking may have been evolving towards something broadly similar to "the web", which took off in a not-fully-evolved direction under Brigham Young.  But this is all just speculation on my part. 

Edited October 3, 2024 by manol

[Dario_M]

On 10/1/2024 at 7:30 PM, Tacenda said:

I'm so glad you're in the Netherlands, hopefully a lot safer than when you were in Portugal. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Omg i have missed your message. How strange. Normaly i don't miss any reactions that are towards me. I'm sorry. 🩵

Yeah i'm absolutely much MUCH saver here. I have experienced Portugal as a unsave country. Especially in the poor neighborhoods (wich Portugal is full of) and i really disliked the mentality of the people there. Except in the church. In the church the Portuguese people were nice and warm. And offcourse the missionaries who came from Utah and Idaho were also really nice and warm. And always came to me to talk with me when they saw i had problems. 

[Dario_M]

Oh my... i'm in the church now. And i just have tears in my eyes. So many emotions are going through my heart right now. ❤️ Am i repenting right now? 😭 Lord have mercy. 

Edited December 1, 2024 by Dario_M