Serving other people.

[Dario_M]

I just watched a video on youtube and it gave me some thoughts about my own life. And i come to the conclusion that i have messed things up quite a lot. And that i have maybe even been a bit selfish at times? 

In the video a man was talking about how to improve your life. And that it will affect your last moments of your own life when your time comes. 

It's a bit difficult to explain. But i try.

I know that it is a good thing to serve other people. But how do i do that? I always felt unwanted in real life by others. People mostly don't seem to trust me, or like me. Because of how i look i guess. So...how can i serve other people in my situation?

And what about you guys...how have you ever served others throughout your life? How many times have you helpt others? And do you guys have any advice for me how i can also do that in my own life? 

Here is the video that i've seen. 

 

It's a 16 minute video.

Edited September 26, 2024 by Dario_M

[Stargazer]

I don't know if I'd take everything this video says as given. It would be difficult, in my opinion, to use Christ's death experience to compare with ours. Well, not only difficult, but impossible, because His death was extremely distinctive. <- which is an understatement!

As to service, every little thing you do that is kind, even smiling at a stranger, opening a door for a person with their hands full, allowing another car to go ahead of you at an intersection, or any number of seeming insignificant acts of kindness, are acts of kindness and service. The important thing is love. As the Apostle Paul says of charity (which is the pure love of Christ):

1 Cor. 13:13 -> "And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity."

Death experiences differ almost as much as people differ. My late wife died 9 years ago, and I was present during her last hours and at the moment of her passing. It was very peaceful -- though at the time I was too sleep-lagged and overcome by inevitability to notice. Her last evidence of consciousness occurred a day before she passed and if she experienced anything in those last hours I had no way to tell. Others who have observed such events with family members have reported similar things with their passings. Yet others have experienced a brief re-awakening before death. In her last days, my current wife's mother, who had been suffering from Alzheimers and had been largely unconscious for days, reacted to her daughter's last visit by waking up and actually recognizing her as she took her hand. 

But consider Stalin, one of the most evil persons to live in mortality. His daughter Svetlana reported:

"God grants an easy death only to the just ... The death agony was horrible. He literally choked to death as we watched. At what seemed like the very last moment he suddenly opened his eyes and cast a glance over everyone in the room. It was a terrible glance, insane or perhaps angry, and full of the fear of death."

According to Svetlana, as Stalin lay dying, plagued with terrifying hallucinations, he suddenly sat halfway up in bed, clenched his fist toward the heavens once more, fell back upon his pillow, and was dead.

I don't think that God always grants an easy death to the just -- there are plenty of examples to the contrary. But at the moment of passing it must be a time of wonder for the one passing. And the ones whose lives have been spent in opposition to others, ever seeking for their own aggrandizement and advancement at the expense of others, may end up dreading that passing. The others may welcome it. 

Edited September 26, 2024 by Stargazer

[Dario_M]

7 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

I don't know if I'd take everything this video says as given. It would be difficult, in my opinion, to use Christ's death experience to compare with ours. Well, not only difficult, but impossible, because His death was extremely distinctive. <- which is an understatement!

Yeah that's true. We can not compare that with our situation. And besides...Jesus was perfect. And we are not perfect. 

7 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

As to service, every little thing you do that is kind, even smiling at a stranger, opening a door for a person with their hands full, allowing another car to go ahead of you at an intersection, or any number of seeming insignificant acts of kindness, are acts of kindness and service.

I don't really see that as a service. When i was writing my post about serving people, i meant serving people in a bigger picture. Not only smiling to other people. 

7 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

The important thing is love. As the Apostle Paul says of charity (which is the pure love of Christ):

I know this. 

7 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

1 Cor. 13:13 -> "And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity."

Yeah charity. So that means serving other people. 

7 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

Death experiences differ almost as much as people differ. My late wife died 9 years ago, and I was present during her last hours and at the moment of her passing. It was very peaceful -- though at the time I was too sleep-lagged and overcome by inevitability to notice. Her last evidence of consciousness occurred a day before she passed and if she experienced anything in those last hours I had no way to tell.

My condolences for your loss. That must have been tough. I'm happy to read the her passing went peaceful at least. And without suffering. 

7 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

Others who have observed such events with family members have reported similar things with their passings. Yet others have experienced a brief re-awakening before death. In her last days, my current wife's mother, who had been suffering from Alzheimers and had been largely unconscious for days, reacted to her daughter's last visit by waking up and actually recognizing her as she took her hand. 

Aaawh. That's unbelievable. How is that possible? Maybe her spirit was allready in the process of departing this world. 

7 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

But consider Stalin, one of the most evil persons to live in mortality. His daughter Svetlana reported:

"God grants an easy death only to the just ... The death agony was horrible. He literally choked to death as we watched. At what seemed like the very last moment he suddenly opened his eyes and cast a glance over everyone in the room. It was a terrible glance, insane or perhaps angry, and full of the fear of death."

Yeah but that's not really a soft death don't you think. I would be in fear to if i would die like that. Suffocating is horible. When i did my suicide attempts a half year ago i was focust on a soft death for myself without suffering. So i took an overdosis from certain substances. And i had no fear. 

7 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

According to Svetlana, as Stalin lay dying, plagued with terrifying hallucinations, he suddenly sat halfway up in bed, clenched his fist toward the heavens once more, fell back upon his pillow, and was dead.

Okay. 

 

[Rain]

I didn't watch the video, but here are my thoughts on serving. 

If you are serving so that your last moments are good you are missing the point of it all. 

Overall, I serve because it makes me feel good.  Some people would say that's the wrong reason to serve. That you serve for other people, not yourself. That serving for yourself is selfish.  Here is the thing. If you serve for the right reasons you can not help, but feel good. It is a natural by propduct. It is the guide that keeps you serving again.  When you serve for the right reasons it naturally develops a love for the other person and that feels good.  That is a sign of you doing he right thing. What you are doing may be hard or you may not like it, but that love developing will always be your feel good guide.  It fulfills you. 

Now, if you serve to get credit for it, or serve so others can see what you are doing and think good of you that will feel different. You may feel good, but it will miss just a little something.

The best way to start serving is at home. If your loved one is done eating take their dishes and wash them. Write a note encouraging them. Bring them a cookie. Rub their feet. Bring in the mail. Don't do it so they will be nicer to you  Do it because you care about them.

Elder Ballard talks about praying to find a meaningful way to serve each day. Notice he didn't say "big".  Meaninful doesn't have to be big. As you pray each day to have your eyes opened for opportunities to find ways to serve you will find them. 

Like stargazer said they don't have to be big things. But as you search each day you will find ways to serve that are bigger and smaller. Keep asking God to help you and he will also help you know which of those things are right for you to do because they are many. 

Ways to serve I have seen: a young man carried packages up a long set of stairs, people making a meal, time spent sitting by someone listening, people setting up refugee apartments, people teaching English, driving people to doctors, sewing clothes, serving food at a shelter, answering phones for a charity, cleaning a house, painting a house, pulling weeds, helping with homeworking, helping someone fill applications, shoveling snow, putting paper hearts on a door. Just a few of the millions of ways people can serve.

[Rain]

17 minutes ago, Dario_M said:

Yeah that's true. We can not compare that with our situation. And besides...Jesus was perfect. And we are not perfect. 

I don't really see that as a service. When i was writing my post about serving people, i meant serving people in a bigger picture. Not only smiling to other people. 

Why not? Have you never had a bad day and a kind word or smile was just enough to get you through it?

The bigger picture is not some grand way of helping people.  It is the web of all the bigger and smaller ways we all help each other. That web that keeps us together.

17 minutes ago, Dario_M said:

I know this. 

Yeah charity. So that means serving other people. 

My condolences for your loss. That must have been tough. I'm happy to read the her passing went peaceful at least. And without suffering. 

Aaawh. That's unbelievable. How is that possible? Maybe her spirit was allready in the process of departing this world. 

Yeah but that's not really a soft death don't you think. I would be in fear to if i would die like that. Suffocating is horible. When i did my suicide attempts a half year ago i was focust on a soft death for myself without suffering. So i took an overdosis from certain substances. And i had no fear. 

Okay. 

 

 

[Dario_M]

15 minutes ago, Rain said:

Why not? Have you never had a bad day and a kind word or smile was just enough to get you through it?

Uhm..nope. if i'm having a bad day it takes more than only a smile from a stranger to get me into a better headspace again. 

15 minutes ago, Rain said:

The bigger picture is not some grand way of helping people.  It is the web of all the bigger and smaller ways we all help each other. That web that keeps us together.

 

Yeah okay. But i was more talking about really serving people. That's also what i understood from the video you know. 

Edited September 26, 2024 by Dario_M

[Stargazer]

32 minutes ago, Dario_M said:

I don't really see that as a service. When i was writing my post about serving people, i meant serving people in a bigger picture. Not only smiling to other people. 

Oh, I know it seems minor. And most of the time it is. And sometimes definitely unappreciated. But there have been times when I have felt down, and when a stranger smiled at me in mere passing it raised my spirits. 

If you read Matthew 25:34-40, the Savior describes a number of services which on the surface might seem somewhat minor:

35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

A drink of water? Visiting a sick friend? These are not generally seen by us as great services, but they are evidently counted as such, for the Savior had said in verse 34 to those on his right hand:

"Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:"

 

[Rain]

4 minutes ago, Dario_M said:

Uhm..nope. if i'm having a bad day it takes more than only a smile from a stranger to get me into a better headspace again. 

Yeah okay. But i was more talking about really serving people. That's also what i understood from the video you know. 

I am talking about really serving people. Really serving people is the way you live your life, not one or two big things you do. Besides, you will find that people who do those big things have already been doing all the small ones almost without thinking. Just look at Jesus' life to see that.

[Dario_M]

20 minutes ago, Rain said:

I didn't watch the video, but here are my thoughts on serving. 

Maybe you should watch it because then you understand my topic better you know. 

20 minutes ago, Rain said:

If you are serving so that your last moments are good you are missing the point of it all.

Offcourse there is more behind it. But i was focust on the concept of serving other people. 

20 minutes ago, Rain said:

Overall, I serve because it makes me feel good.  Some people would say that's the wrong reason to serve. That you serve for other people, not yourself. That serving for yourself is selfish.  Here is the thing. If you serve for the right reasons you can not help, but feel good. It is a natural by propduct. It is the guide that keeps you serving again.  When you serve for the right reasons it naturally develops a love for the other person and that feels good.  That is a sign of you doing he right thing. What you are doing may be hard or you may not like it, but that love developing will always be your feel good guide.  It fulfills you. 

Yeah i understand that. But i also want some examples from people on the board about in wich ways you can serve people. And experiences from people who have actually served somebody. 

20 minutes ago, Rain said:

Now, if you serve to get credit for it, or serve so others can see what you are doing and think good of you that will feel different. You may feel good, but it will miss just a little something.

Now i really wanna do it for the right reasons. And besides...the LDS cummunity encourages to serve other people and so. So i believe i should also do it. 

20 minutes ago, Rain said:

The best way to start serving is at home. If your loved one is done eating take their dishes and wash them. Write a note encouraging them. Bring them a cookie. Rub their feet. Bring in the mail. Don't do it so they will be nicer to you  Do it because you care about them.

I allready do that sort of things for my bf. 

20 minutes ago, Rain said:

Elder Ballard talks about praying to find a meaningful way to serve each day. Notice he didn't say "big".  Meaninful doesn't have to be big. As you pray each day to have your eyes opened for opportunities to find ways to serve you will find them. 

That's a good idea indeed.

20 minutes ago, Rain said:

Like stargazer said they don't have to be big things. But as you search each day you will find ways to serve that are bigger and smaller. Keep asking God to help you and he will also help you know which of those things are right for you to do because they are many. 

 

20 minutes ago, Rain said:

Ways to serve I have seen: a young man carried packages up a long set of stairs, people making a meal, time spent sitting by someone listening, people setting up refugee apartments, people teaching English, driving people to doctors, sewing clothes, serving food at a shelter, answering phones for a charity, cleaning a house, painting a house, pulling weeds, helping with homeworking, helping someone fill applications, shoveling snow, putting paper hearts on a door. Just a few of the millions of ways people can serve.

Woow yeah. Those a good ideas. Thank you. Now i have something to think about. 👍

[Dario_M]

5 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

Oh, I know it seems minor. And most of the time it is. And sometimes definitely unappreciated. But there have been times when I have felt down, and when a stranger smiled at me in mere passing it raised my spirits. 

Yeah i don't know about you all. But i find it a bit creepy if a stranger smiles at me. 

5 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

Visiting a sick friend?

That's also a problem. I have no friends. 

5 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

These are not generally seen by us as great services, but they are evidently counted as such, for the Savior had said in verse 34 to those on his right hand:

"Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:"

 

Oowh...well that sounds hopefull. 

[Rain]

10 minutes ago, Dario_M said:

Maybe you should watch it because then you understand my topic better you know. 

Ok, I watched it.  I find the video short sighted. It says we should live well so our last moments are good. I say we should live well because we can experience daily much of what is promised in the video at the last moments. Those good feelings. That clarity of thought. That lack of fear. All of that can be felt and experienced in any given moment, not just before death. 

10 minutes ago, Dario_M said:

Offcourse there is more behind it. But i was focust on the concept of serving other people. 

Yeah i understand that. But i also want some examples from people on the board about in wich ways you can serve people. And experiences from people who have actually served somebody. 

Now i really wanna do it for the right reasons. And besides...the LDS cummunity encourages to serve other people and so. So i believe i should also do it. 

I allready do that sort of things for my bf.

 

 

Good. Keep doing them.

10 minutes ago, Dario_M said:

 

 

That's a good idea indeed.

 

Woow yeah. Those a good ideas. Thank you. Now i have something to think about. 👍

 

[Rain]

10 minutes ago, Dario_M said:

Yeah i don't know about you all. But i find it a bit creepy if a stranger smiles at me. 

This is a cultural difference. People in the US find it a good thing generally.  In Europe not as much. 

10 minutes ago, Dario_M said:

That's also a problem. I have no friends. 

Oowh...well that sounds hopefull. 

 

[Dario_M]

4 minutes ago, Rain said:

Ok, I watched it.  I find the video short sighted. It says we should live well so our last moments are good. I say we should live well because we can experience daily much of what is promised in the video at the last moments. Those good feelings. That clarity of thought. That lack of fear. All of that can be felt and experienced in any given moment, not just before death.

Yeah i dont know what it is. But after seeing the video it feels like the vid has planted a seed in my head. It feels like i need to do something about my life. 

I was hoping on experiences from other people on the board. 

[Dario_M]

5 minutes ago, Rain said:

This is a cultural difference. People in the US find it a good thing generally.  In Europe not as much. 

 

Yeah that's true. It's a cultural thing indeed. Allthough i didn't knew that it is usual in the US to laugh at each other everytime you come across a stranger. Here in the Netherlands people find it creepy and you don't have to expect a smile in return. Rather a distrustful look? But...isn't it not just also super tiring to always have to smile at everyone up there? 

[Rain]

6 minutes ago, Dario_M said:

Yeah i dont know what it is. But after seeing the video it feels like the vid has planted a seed in my head. It feels like i need to do something about my life. 

I was hoping on experiences from other people on the board. 

That's good that it gave you inspiration to change. 

Honestly, people can give you ideas, but your talents and resources are very different than mine. The people around you are unique, just as the people around me are unique. The resources your government has for people are different than the ones mine has. So we can give you a list and that might spur some ideas, but the best thing is for you to go search for them and bevopen to them.  

For example, I find that most places in Europe have areas where people gather or walk.  Go to those places. Watch the people. Watch for their needs.  Sometimes they have immediate needs you can help with. Other times they might inspire you to look for ways you can help at other times.

For example, maybe you notice a lot of people on crutches. Is that a coinidence or is there maybe a clinic or hospital nearby that works on broken legs.  If there is, see if they need volunteers to encourage people or to write cards or to just walk with people. 

Or maybe you see lots of cats. Are they hungry? Sick? Is there a vetinarian or shelter that can use you as a volunteer? 

Are there a lot of kids? Maybe there is a school nearby that can use volunteers to help children read.

Keep in mind that there will be security measures or education you may need to help in some places. Don't let that discorage you.  Just ask yourself if it is the right time in your life to get that education so you can serve in that way.  If it isn't then it just means there is a different way for you. 

But don't ignore the little things. I find that when you keep your eyes open you may first only see the door you can open, or the person you can help up when they have fallen. As your eyes open for ways to serve you will find deeper and more meaningful ways.

[Rain]

18 minutes ago, Dario_M said:

Yeah that's true. It's a cultural thing indeed. Allthough i didn't knew that it is usual in the US to laugh at each other everytime you come across a stranger. Here in the Netherlands people find it creepy and you don't have to expect a smile in return. Rather a distrustful look? But...isn't it not just also super tiring to always have to smile at everyone up there? 

Laughing at each other is not the same thing as smiling. Smiling is just an easy way to be warm or pleasant. And we don't smile at everyone. Maybe your eyes meet and then you just naturally smile.  Not tiring at all. In fact, sometimes it can be quite invigorating. 

But if it's not a part of your culture it doesn't need to be done. You just find what works in your culture.

[Dario_M]

8 minutes ago, Rain said:

 For example, I find that most places in Europe have areas where people gather or walk.  Go to those places. Watch the people. Watch for their needs.  Sometimes they have immediate needs you can help with. Other times they might inspire you to look for ways you can help at other times.

Yeah but every country in Europe is different as well. And where do i need to sit. 

8 minutes ago, Rain said:

For example, maybe you notice a lot of people on crutches. Is that a coinidence or is there maybe a clinic or hospital nearby that works on broken legs.  If there is, see if they need volunteers to encourage people or to write cards or to just walk with people. 

 

Yeah good idea.

8 minutes ago, Rain said:

Or maybe you see lots of cats. Are they hungry? Sick? Is there a vetinarian or shelter that can use you as a volunteer? 

I used to work at a cat shelter. But they kicked me out after i had an argument with 2 ladies. Sad...because i really injoyed doing that work. My sister also worked at that place. 

8 minutes ago, Rain said:

Are there a lot of kids? Maybe there is a school nearby that can use volunteers to help children read.

No that's not my thing. But thank you for the thought. 

8 minutes ago, Rain said:

Keep in mind that there will be security measures or education you may need to help in some places. Don't let that discorage you.  Just ask yourself if it is the right time in your life to get that education so you can serve in that way.  If it isn't then it just means there is a different way for you. 

Yeah i understand. I will keep that in mind.

8 minutes ago, Rain said:

But don't ignore the little things. I find that when you keep your eyes open you may first only see the door you can open, or the person you can help up when they have fallen. As your eyes open for ways to serve you will find deeper and more meaningful ways.

I hope so. Thank you for your ideas. At least i know my options. 

[Dario_M]

12 minutes ago, Rain said:

Laughing at each other is not the same thing as smiling. Smiling is just an easy way to be warm or pleasant. And we don't smile at everyone. Maybe your eyes meet and then you just naturally smile.  Not tiring at all. In fact, sometimes it can be quite invigorating. 

But if it's not a part of your culture it doesn't need to be done. You just find what works in your culture.

I meant "smile" not "laugh" sorry my mistake. 

[Rain]

7 minutes ago, Dario_M said:

Yeah but every country in Europe is different as well. And where do i need to sit. 

 

Yeah good idea.

I used to work at a cat shelter. But they kicked me out after i had an argument with 2 ladies. Sad...because i really injoyed doing that work. My sister also worked at that place.

 

 

Maybe find another shelter, but this time be more careful of getting along with the humans.

7 minutes ago, Dario_M said:

No that's not my thing. But thank you for the thought. 

Yeah i understand. I will keep that in mind.

I hope so. Thank you for your ideas. At least i know my options. 

 

[Tacenda]

2 hours ago, Dario_M said:

Yeah that's true. We can not compare that with our situation. And besides...Jesus was perfect. And we are not perfect. 

I don't really see that as a service. When i was writing my post about serving people, i meant serving people in a bigger picture. Not only smiling to other people. 

I know this. 

Yeah charity. So that means serving other people. 

My condolences for your loss. That must have been tough. I'm happy to read the her passing went peaceful at least. And without suffering. 

Aaawh. That's unbelievable. How is that possible? Maybe her spirit was allready in the process of departing this world. 

Yeah but that's not really a soft death don't you think. I would be in fear to if i would die like that. Suffocating is horible. When i did my suicide attempts a half year ago i was focust on a soft death for myself without suffering. So i took an overdosis from certain substances. And i had no fear. 

Okay. 

 

I'm glad you're here today Dario! Hugs!

[Dario_M]

16 minutes ago, Tacenda said:

I'm glad you're here today Dario! Hugs!

Aaawh that's so sweet of you to say. Hugs back. 🫂

[Stargazer]

5 hours ago, Dario_M said:

Yeah i don't know about you all. But i find it a bit creepy if a stranger smiles at me. 

LOL! I suppose it would depend upon the nature and circumstances under which the smile is given!

5 hours ago, Dario_M said:

That's also a problem. I have no friends. 

Oowh...well that sounds hopefull. 

Well, you have a partner. Perhaps that will do for the time being!

[The Nehor]

Live your life in such a way that you can continue to serve others after death.

[Dario_M]

34 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

LOL! I suppose it would depend upon the nature and circumstances under which the smile is given!

If a stranger would smile at me it would make me scared. I would think that maybe he is a stalker, or worse he is planning to kill me. 💀

34 minutes ago, Stargazer said:

Well, you have a partner. Perhaps that will do for the time being!

Yes at least i have a sweet partner that does everything for me. Bless him. 🩵

[Dario_M]

However...i'm going to sleep now. Good night everyone. 🌌