Warlock Posted July 21, 2021 Posted July 21, 2021 1 hour ago, bOObOO said: Goodbye Way to stick up for yourself
rodheadlee Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 23 hours ago, The Nehor said: Mixing in some thrills would make it better. Get married. 1
The Nehor Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 14 minutes ago, rodheadlee said: Get married. Would love to but probably not a good idea. Many of the things that have messed with my life are genetic and it is questionable whether I should be willing to pass them on. I also haven’t found any woman who has both desired me and been desired by me in a very long time. I have found many with one or the other but never one with both since my last fiancé about 15 years ago and that was a train wreck. I also haven’t felt any real romantic feelings beyond physical desire for anyone in the last 6 or 7 years so it may just be too late for me and I have largely given up on looking. It just ends up hurting people.
bOObOO Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 14 hours ago, The Nehor said: Would love to but probably not a good idea. Many of the things that have messed with my life are genetic and it is questionable whether I should be willing to pass them on. I also haven’t found any woman who has both desired me and been desired by me in a very long time. I have found many with one or the other but never one with both since my last fiancé about 15 years ago and that was a train wreck. I also haven’t felt any real romantic feelings beyond physical desire for anyone in the last 6 or 7 years so it may just be too late for me and I have largely given up on looking. It just ends up hurting people. 1. You could marry but not have children. Or you could marry and accept the challenges of having children with some genetic defects. Others have done it and handled it well. Perfection usually takes time, and usually post resurrection. 2. I looked for a long time before I married at age 40. It took me a long time to feel emotionally and financially secure enough and to find someone who I felt could live with me forever. And I found her when I decided to stop looking. 3. The thread title suggests an impossibility. We will never be asexual, or at least any more asexual than we already are now with our present chromosomes. We will always be either a man or a woman, not both at the same time, or neither. 1
Calm Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, bOObOO said: We will never be asexual, or at least any more asexual than we already are now with our present chromosomes. We will always be either a man or a woman… Asexuality is about desire/attraction, not biological gender. Edited July 22, 2021 by Calm
MustardSeed Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 18 hours ago, The Nehor said: Many of the things that have messed with my life are genetic and it is questionable whether I should be willing to pass them on. I highly suspect that everyone can identify with this thought, both the messy life, the genes, the ethical dilemma of passing on said troublesome genes. The minute we poop out a kid, we ruin them. its all part of the gig. 2
Calm Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 (edited) 8 minutes ago, MustardSeed said: highly suspect that everyone can identify with this thought, Another reason to have kids young before you realize how badly genetics can screw up your lives. At least you can pretend you won’t pass on mental or emotional bad habits from your parents (though I do seem to have—by always biting my tongue when I felt the urge—managed not to pass on my parents’ obsession with weight for health sake that contributed to my own and siblings’ poor body image, my daughter makes a point of thanking me anytime the subject comes up). There is the option of adoption, which is what my daughter is planning if she ever becomes capable of raising a child. Edited July 22, 2021 by Calm
bOObOO Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 1 hour ago, Calm said: Asexuality is about desire/attraction, not biological gender. Interesting concept, and not what I understand asexual is when understood in minute detail. While it could be said that my attraction to my wife is not because she is a woman but because of the type of person she is... her character, personality and the way she thinks and feels about various issues. rather than because of her body... I would say that much if not most of the reason I am attracted to her stems from the fact that she is a woman and the type of person she is. What I crave from her is not sexual activity, explicitly, but simply more of her to feel as close to her as I can possibly be. Labels can be deceiving. 1
The Nehor Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 1 hour ago, MustardSeed said: I highly suspect that everyone can identify with this thought, both the messy life, the genes, the ethical dilemma of passing on said troublesome genes. The minute we poop out a kid, we ruin them. its all part of the gig. Yeah, I am not sure I am extreme enough to justify my reluctance. One small advantage of not having any options is that the question is an abstract one.
The Nehor Posted July 22, 2021 Posted July 22, 2021 (edited) 5 hours ago, bOObOO said: 1. You could marry but not have children. Or you could marry and accept the challenges of having children with some genetic defects. Others have done it and handled it well. Perfection usually takes time, and usually post resurrection. 2. I looked for a long time before I married at age 40. It took me a long time to feel emotionally and financially secure enough and to find someone who I felt could live with me forever. And I found her when I decided to stop looking. 3. The thread title suggests an impossibility. We will never be asexual, or at least any more asexual than we already are now with our present chromosomes. We will always be either a man or a woman, not both at the same time, or neither. 1. I could, I am not sure I want to. I love kids. Babies, toddlers, and young kids are drawn to me and I have no idea why. I like it but I want the whole package if I am going down that road. Might be too late though. 2. I stopped looking years ago. If that were the key I would have found someone by now. 3. I don’t think you know what asexual means. It is not a biological sex or gender thing. Edited July 22, 2021 by The Nehor 1
rodheadlee Posted July 23, 2021 Posted July 23, 2021 23 hours ago, The Nehor said: Would love to but probably not a good idea. Many of the things that have messed with my life are genetic and it is questionable whether I should be willing to pass them on. I also haven’t found any woman who has both desired me and been desired by me in a very long time. I have found many with one or the other but never one with both since my last fiancé about 15 years ago and that was a train wreck. I also haven’t felt any real romantic feelings beyond physical desire for anyone in the last 6 or 7 years so it may just be too late for me and I have largely given up on looking. It just ends up hurting people. All relationships are trainwrecks. You just gotta hang on, take the bad with the good. Then the twain shall become one. 2
The Nehor Posted July 23, 2021 Posted July 23, 2021 55 minutes ago, rodheadlee said: All relationships are trainwrecks. You just gotta hang on, take the bad with the good. Then the twain shall become one. Most relationships don’t end with one party in an involuntary hold in a mental institution. Before that said person burnt all their identification in a pentagram modeled after a satanic ritual they saw and then broke into a house scaring everyone inside and started stripping naked before wandering to a nearby church building insisting they were Satan as the Bishop showing up due to a prompting and the bishop possibly prevented something worse from happening as the police showed up minutes later. Was that person me or the girl I was engaged to? I will leave that as a fun mental exercise for the reader. In any case that was how my second engagement ended. I also don’t blame anyone for not believing that story. It sounds made up. There are times I am incredulous myself until I walk through the mental images of that day. A shame. She was brilliant, very hot, and a lot of fun. The only time since then I have had something remotely like a marriage invitation was when a group of friends asked me to join their group marriage/relationship back in college. There are times I regret turning that offer down since I was sort of in love with one of them and had crushes on two others. I don’t expect you to believe that either. My life is weird.
Tacenda Posted July 23, 2021 Posted July 23, 2021 10 hours ago, rodheadlee said: All relationships are trainwrecks. You just gotta hang on, take the bad with the good. Then the twain shall become one. I think this one is for the books or maybe even a meme! But I love it! Good one rod! "All relationships are trainwrecks. You just gotta hang on, take the bad with the good. Then the twain shall become one."
bOObOO Posted July 23, 2021 Posted July 23, 2021 13 hours ago, rodheadlee said: All relationships are trainwrecks. You just gotta hang on, take the bad with the good. Then the twain shall become one. I agree on taking tghe bad along with the good, in sickness and health and all that, but I am a bit skeptical about the idea that all relationships are trainwrecks. I've heard some prophets and apostles say something about never having a fight with their spouse. Maybe the just forgiven and forgotten. Or maybe they would call it a spat or a disagreement but would never ever call it a "fight". Or who knows, maybe they have never ever had anything at all akin to a "fight" by any stretch of their imagination. I dunno. What I feel I can say regarding every interaction between me and my spouse is that we have always been willing to work everything out with each other, and I suspect we always will. Hopefully with never a trainwreck. 2
Warlock Posted July 23, 2021 Posted July 23, 2021 1 hour ago, bOObOO said: I agree on taking tghe bad along with the good, in sickness and health and all that, but I am a bit skeptical about the idea that all relationships are trainwrecks. I've heard some prophets and apostles say something about never having a fight with their spouse. Maybe the just forgiven and forgotten. Or maybe they would call it a spat or a disagreement but would never ever call it a "fight". Or who knows, maybe they have never ever had anything at all akin to a "fight" by any stretch of their imagination. I dunno. What I feel I can say regarding every interaction between me and my spouse is that we have always been willing to work everything out with each other, and I suspect we always will. Hopefully with never a trainwreck. Awesome
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