Jeanne Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 13 hours ago, Bernard Gui said: Repentance, forgiveness, love one another, if ye are not one, ye are not mine, have mercy on me, a sinner, turn the other cheek, pray for those who dispitefully use you, there but for the mercy of God go I, if your brother have ought against you, go to him and reconcile....all those “Christian” things we talk about once in a while. I gave you a rep point because I agree with you...perhaps she will feel better when all these things are put in place...I doubt though that her ex could look her in the eye before he redeems his own soul.
Jeanne Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 7 hours ago, kiwi57 said: It's not part of her stewardship to "stop it." Nor is it part of her stewardship to make her husband's alleged sins into a public lynching. But no one in the ward would know that this woman had her TR taken away? Get real...it works both ways!!
Jeanne Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 9 hours ago, Calm said: She also knows she is being recorded... So it may be true and it may not be. This may be true...but any assumption that it is not true seems to be because she is not a Priesthood holder..she doesn't stand a chance does she?
provoman Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 (edited) 4 hours ago, sunstoned said: I don't know if this was meant to be funny, but it comes across a very condescending. I doubt it was ment to be funny. For context - The “mansplaing” pejorative was first used in condescending, derogatory, gender-phobic manner towards a Stake President. A secondary use of the pejorative appears to be to shame and silence anyone on the thread who did not offer 110% support the woman who made the secret recording of an otherwise confidential meeting. The use of mansplaining was meant to assisnate the character of a Stake President. Rather than taken the obvious biased word of the person hurling the accusation at the SP, I listened to the recording myself. And heard a SP trying to help someone stay focused on their OWN conduct and how to improve THEIR OWN life, rather than dwell on the conduct of others. Edited February 17, 2018 by provoman
Amulek Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 22 minutes ago, provoman said: [...] to stop talking to others in the ward about the other two people would mean she would have “deny who am”...this statement was likely made because her therapist told her she is “an external processor” [...] That wasn't a statement her therapist made - though that's what the SP was led to believe (understandably so, based on what she said). It was actually something their marriage counselor said back when she was still married. The marriage counselor said that she is a 'very external person.'
provoman Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 17 minutes ago, Amulek said: That wasn't a statement her therapist made - though that's what the SP was led to believe (understandably so, based on what she said). It was actually something their marriage counselor said back when she was still married. The marriage counselor said that she is a 'very external person.' Marriage counselor or therapist, the context to “deny who am” appeared to be her defending her conduct based on what a therapist/counselor said about how she processes things. Thanks for the clarification.
Bernard Gui Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 1 hour ago, Jeanne said: I gave you a rep point because I agree with you...perhaps she will feel better when all these things are put in place...I doubt though that her ex could look her in the eye before he redeems his own soul. He cannot redeem his own soul. That is the exclusive domain of Jesus Christ. His Atonement covers everything. This is true for every one of us. We will all do this..... Quote Luke 18: 10Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. 11The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. 12I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess. 13And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. 14I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted. 1
mfbukowski Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 1 hour ago, ttribe said: I find it notable that you have no problem with Darren10 mocking juliann as a woman who is doing nothing but "bitching, moaning, whining" but you take exception to me using a picture of my own car to make a point. "Notable"? It's just weird that one would use such an opportunity to post a picture of one's own car, since everyone knows what a BMW is, and many associate it with immature boasters since it is an expensive shiny depreciating asset. Of course it can also be a wise investment if the depreciation is used to offset business income, and since the depreciation is lower than other vehicles in some ways it is a justifiable expense But everyone knows what a BMW is anyway so I am not sure what the point of the post was then. Why take a picture of one's own car to make a non-point? And by the way I had no idea what "bmw" meant until I read your post above. He should not have said that and I believe he retracted it. I am not familiar with millennial codes.
Bernard Gui Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 11 hours ago, Calm said: If you haven't been in a ward having to deal with the adultery of two of its loved members, I am not sure you can understand how difficult this can be. In my ward it was the bishop and one of my best friends. It is hard to sit there knowing others are hurting just by seeing someone there, worst when you know there is activity to turn the rest of the ward against them even if it isn't working. During my mission in Honduras, we witnessed the destruction of a branch because of gossiping and the resultant division and taking of sides. 2
Jeanne Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 2 minutes ago, Bernard Gui said: During my mission in Honduras, we witnessed the destruction of a branch because of gossiping and the resultant division and taking of sides. I was a witness to such a division...one point had nothing to do with church..but with two small towns that the Stake wanted to unite aa one...and at the darn time...a division of schools in the same two towns dealing with a school district....it was horrendous!! 1
Jeanne Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 You know what is the saddest thing?? All this affects a generation behind them...that go to school together and share church classes...it just doesn't go away!
Bernard Gui Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 1 hour ago, Jeanne said: But no one in the ward would know that this woman had her TR taken away? Get real...it works both ways!! How would the members of the ward know that? 1
Jeanne Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Bernard Gui said: How would the members of the ward know that? Bishop's wife...more than likely...or the usual assumption of Saints that don't see this woman going to the Temple...and of course..she herself would willingly admit to avoid all the heresy that comes with it. Been there..done that. Edited February 17, 2018 by Jeanne
Tacenda Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 I bet she wishes she hadn't gone to the leadership for comfort and stuck with the therapist only. Maybe she'd have kept her recommend. In the video she mentioned that she went to friends for help. Nothing wrong with that, IMO. Maybe the members of the church need to stay back from going to the leaders so much. Do members of the church act like children sometimes where they rely too much on the church to fix their problems? I don't know, but makes me kind of hesitant to go full in on activity in my new ward. I don't know if I like the drama, I've seen a lot of it in my over 50 years of being in the church. Does the LDS church or any church, need to quit helicoptering it's members? They say not to be a helicopter parent. I know I'll get push back for saying it, but seriously, I remember when my son's friend told him that his dad, the bishop of our ward then, was the father of the ward and we should listen to him over everyone else. They happen to be talking about playing certain video games and his dad, the bishop, had spoken to them about not playing certain games, that my son had, the were teenagers. But I'm sure we're not the only church that rely on leadership to help with family matters etc. Just wish members could stand on their own outside of the ward house and work out their problems. I do feel for bishops/stake presidents that have to shoulder so much of the ward's problems. I've heard about issues in my old ward, no names/info, but know that the bishop wished he didn't know all that he had to know. Are members infantilized (sp?) sometimes? Is it creating to many needy people? Or am I not even close to knowing anything?
kiwi57 Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 2 hours ago, ttribe said: I find it notable that you have no problem with Darren10 mocking juliann as a woman who is doing nothing but "bitching, moaning, whining" but you take exception to me using a picture of my own car to make a point. Was he? I read him as mocking the lady who did the duplicitous recording.
mfbukowski Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 (edited) deleted Edited February 17, 2018 by mfbukowski
kiwi57 Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 2 hours ago, Jeanne said: This may be true...but any assumption that it is not true seems to be because she is not a Priesthood holder..she doesn't stand a chance does she? No, any assumption that it is not true is based upon the fact that she is surreptitiously recording a confidential meeting. IOW, that she is clearly and unquestionably operating in bad faith.
kiwi57 Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 2 hours ago, Jeanne said: But no one in the ward would know that this woman had her TR taken away? Get real...it works both ways!! No one would know if she hadn't made it public.
Jeanne Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 10 minutes ago, Tacenda said: I bet she wishes she hadn't gone to the leadership for comfort and stuck with the therapist only. Maybe she'd have kept her recommend. In the video she mentioned that she went to friends for help. Nothing wrong with that, IMO. Maybe the members of the church need to stay back from going to the leaders so much. Do members of the church act like children sometimes where they rely too much on the church to fix their problems? I don't know, but makes me kind of hesitant to go full in on activity in my new ward. I don't know if I like the drama, I've seen a lot of it in my over 50 years of being in the church. Does the LDS church or any church, need to quit helicoptering it's members? They say not to be a helicopter parent. I know I'll get push back for saying it, but seriously, I remember when my son's friend told him that his dad, the bishop of our ward then, was the father of the ward and we should listen to him over everyone else. They happen to be talking about playing certain video games and his dad, the bishop, had spoken to them about not playing certain games, that my son had, the were teenagers. But I'm sure we're not the only church that rely on leadership to help with family matters etc. Just wish members could stand on their own outside of the ward house and work out their problems. I do feel for bishops/stake presidents that have to shoulder so much of the ward's problems. I've heard about issues in my old ward, no names/info, but know that the bishop wished he didn't know all that he had to know. Are members infantilized (sp?) sometimes? Is it creating to many needy people? Or am I not even close to knowing anything? Rep...your observations to me...and all your"maybes seem to ring true here.
kiwi57 Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 (edited) 20 minutes ago, Jeanne said: Bishop's wife...more than likely...or the usual assumption of Saints that don't see this woman going to the Temple...and of course..she herself would willingly admit to avoid all the heresy that comes with it. Been there..done that. What "usual assumption" is that? There are, alas, members of my own ward who don't go to the Temple from one year to the next, but who faithfully show up for their TR recommend interviews on time. From what I've heard, such members are hardly unique to my ward, but seem to be found all over the Church. It is a shame that people tend to so frequently make assumptions about the assumptions they assume others are assuming. Rather like the "I know everyone in that ward is judging me" trope. Edited February 17, 2018 by kiwi57 2
Jeanne Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 5 minutes ago, kiwi57 said: No one would know if she hadn't made it public. Do you really believe that??? This stuff is manna to a ward...I am sure her ex said nothing.
The Nehor Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 15 minutes ago, Tacenda said: I bet she wishes she hadn't gone to the leadership for comfort and stuck with the therapist only. Maybe she'd have kept her recommend. In the video she mentioned that she went to friends for help. Nothing wrong with that, IMO. Maybe the members of the church need to stay back from going to the leaders so much. Do members of the church act like children sometimes where they rely too much on the church to fix their problems? I don't know, but makes me kind of hesitant to go full in on activity in my new ward. I don't know if I like the drama, I've seen a lot of it in my over 50 years of being in the church. Does the LDS church or any church, need to quit helicoptering it's members? They say not to be a helicopter parent. I know I'll get push back for saying it, but seriously, I remember when my son's friend told him that his dad, the bishop of our ward then, was the father of the ward and we should listen to him over everyone else. They happen to be talking about playing certain video games and his dad, the bishop, had spoken to them about not playing certain games, that my son had, the were teenagers. But I'm sure we're not the only church that rely on leadership to help with family matters etc. Just wish members could stand on their own outside of the ward house and work out their problems. I do feel for bishops/stake presidents that have to shoulder so much of the ward's problems. I've heard about issues in my old ward, no names/info, but know that the bishop wished he didn't know all that he had to know. Are members infantilized (sp?) sometimes? Is it creating to many needy people? Or am I not even close to knowing anything? On a whim she decided to record the meetings? 1
kiwi57 Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 1 minute ago, Jeanne said: Do you really believe that??? This stuff is manna to a ward...I am sure her ex said nothing. Her ex wouldn't be in a position to know.
Bernard Gui Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 (edited) 31 minutes ago, Jeanne said: Bishop's wife...more than likely...or the usual assumption of Saints that don't see this woman going to the Temple...and of course..she herself would willingly admit to avoid all the heresy that comes with it. Been there..done that. You were not served well, then. 1. A bishop who reveals this kind of information to his wife should be released post haste. 2. A bishop’s wife who hears this from her husband should tutor him in the proper execution of his calling. 3. A bishop’s wife who shares such ill-gotten knowledge with others is as out of line as her husband. 4. A bishop who betrays his calling by revealing this to his wife, on learning she spread the gossip must do all in his power to make the situation right, even to the point of asking to be released and that his wife make public and private amends. 5. Members who keep tally of others’ temple attendance and make assumptions based on it are as out of line as the bishop and his wife. 6. A member spreading the word of his/her confidential status only exacerbates the situation and causes more, perhaps irreparable, damage such as what we are witnessing in this catastrophe, and is as out of line as all the above players. 7. A member who secretly records interviews......well..... Edited February 17, 2018 by Bernard Gui 3
Tacenda Posted February 17, 2018 Posted February 17, 2018 8 minutes ago, The Nehor said: On a whim she decided to record the meetings? She did say that when the "metoo" movement took hold is when she wanted to go to the news about it. But I don't know that I agree that we should tape everything in our meetings with people and hold it against them.
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