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Helps For Rm's


Duncan

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I have a dear friend who got back from his mission a few months ago now. But now he is saying he doesn't believe in one true church and he doesn't wear his garments. He had a rough teenage period and he fixed himself up and went out and served admirably. I know his Mum is worried and is worried they'll lose him for good (her words) I am at a loss as to what to say to him. He won't really open up about it, i've had to tease things out of him . Any tips?

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The church now has a program for returned missionaries.  Maybe you can appoint yourself as his friend and go visit him regularly and help him work through the plan.  https://www.lds.org/callings/missionary/my-plan?lang=eng

 

(And while sinning is not the only reason people leave the church, if a young person has sinned, sometimes they come to think of themselves as unforgivable.  At that point, the cognitive dissonance gets so bad that they pretty much have to reject the church because the other option is that it is true and they are beyond redemption (in their eyes, not in truth of course)).   If your young friend is in this place, then he needs most of all to understand the atonement.   Taking him with you on service projects can at least give him experiences that the spirit can be around.

Edited by rpn
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I hate to bring this up but honestly believe some lose their testimony from serving a mission, for a few reasons. They find out really good people can be non members (some actually find this revealing), they find information through anti Mormon literature. I've heard/read of these happening. My own son isn't that active any longer. And it does not have anything to do with me, I kept my mouth pretty much shut. Maybe Duncan's friend is the latter of the two and doesn't dare say, for fear of hurting Duncan's testimony. I'm guessing he doesn't know just how much Duncan knows.

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I hate to bring this up but honestly believe some lose their testimony from serving a mission, for a few reasons. They find out really good people can be non members (some actually find this revealing), they find information through anti Mormon literature. I've heard/read of these happening. My own son isn't that active any longer. And it does not have anything to do with me, I kept my mouth pretty much shut. Maybe Duncan's friend is the latter of the two and doesn't dare say, for fear of hurting Duncan's testimony. I'm guessing he doesn't know just how much Duncan knows.

Anyone who has been around a lot of nonmormons, in other words all places outside of Utah and many inside of Utah is going to be aware that there are really good people outside the Church unless they have been bought up in a very socially isolated family and if that, they are going to have numerous problems.

Even the places that are densely LDS in Utah, if they watch TV or movies do you really think they can look at the world and think there are no reallygood people out there who aren't LDS?

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Anyone who has been around a lot of nonmormons, in other words all places outside of Utah and many inside of Utah is going to be aware that there are really good people outside the Church unless they have been bought up in a very socially isolated family and if that, they are going to have numerous problems.

Even the places that are densely LDS in Utah, if they watch TV or movies do you really think they can look at the world and think there are no reallygood people out there who aren't LDS?

Yup, as far as standards etc. Or seeing super close non LDS families, or maybe what I should have said...some non LDS that are even better/nicer than LDS. And hate to admit I was that sheltered, not as far as TV etc...but sheltered in my thinking which led to isolating myself to people of my own faith...always loved non LDS just felt strange around them. Sorry if there's a derail here.
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I have a dear friend who got back from his mission a few months ago now. But now he is saying he doesn't believe in one true church and he doesn't wear his garments. He had a rough teenage period and he fixed himself up and went out and served admirably. I know his Mum is worried and is worried they'll lose him for good (her words) I am at a loss as to what to say to him. He won't really open up about it, i've had to tease things out of him . Any tips?

Did he/she have mission experiences that caused these feelings? Something has changed from when he/she accepted the call.  I vote patience on this.  Your friend will open up and discuss issues that are bothering him/her in time.  Periods of inactivity are common.

Edited by sunstoned
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One reason I have found is that some missionaries return exhausted. They want a break and do not realize that they can unwind within the gospel. While I think full time missionary work is spiritually enriching it is not something that most people can sustain forever. Many break from the church thinking to find relief. They rarely find it.

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I hate to bring this up but honestly believe some lose their testimony from serving a mission, for a few reasons. They find out really good people can be non members (some actually find this revealing), they find information through anti Mormon literature. I've heard/read of these happening. My own son isn't that active any longer. And it does not have anything to do with me, I kept my mouth pretty much shut. Maybe Duncan's friend is the latter of the two and doesn't dare say, for fear of hurting Duncan's testimony. I'm guessing he doesn't know just how much Duncan knows.

 

yeah true, I don't live around him so I only know what is really going on by a few emails his Mum sent me and then there is the surface stuff. I talked to a few friends who live in his area see him at stuff but activity doesn't always mean faithfulness

 

no, he doesn't know what I know. I love this kid to the moon and back but I just hope things aren't as bad as it sounds but who knows.

Edited by Duncan
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Did he/she have mission experiences that caused these feelings? Something has changed from when he/she accepted the call.  I vote patience on this.  Your friend will open up and discuss issues that are bothering him/her in time.  Periods of inactivity are common.

 

 

he had a very rough mission, he experiences so much nonsense but he came through it like a champ but it seems he may have slipped into old routines and things

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