"you Never Know"

[ERayR]

Eray, you don't regret not getting the Harley, but wouldn't you regret standing up a relative you rarely get to see and making them get groped by TSA an extra time for nothing?! 

 

Also, let's discuss our teacher's comment that Mormon women don't serve as willingly as women in other churches.  I have no idea what she's talking about or else she thinks women should say yes to all good things they're asked to do. Sometimes people ask just because they're asking, not because they felt inspired to ask you in particular.  Sometimes I ask people for help and then they give me some fantastic ideas as to who to call or who would know some great people to call. 

 

I didn't mean to compare the Harley to the relative.

[MorningStar]

Yeah, I know.  I would quote you, but I can't.    

[juliann]

I see what they were trying to do and the honest depiction of family life was refreshing. But it something that looks like it wasn't vetted by many women. The only thing I got from it is that her cousin was disposable and the lady didn't know how to set priorities...she just went with whoever pushed the hardest. I loved the quote at the end...but the video didn't get me there.

[Scott Lloyd]

The video deliberately depicts scenes of imperfect and frustrating family life (e.g. quarreling siblings while mom focuses on her media device, a smirking daughter who wins a battle of wills with mom, a procrastinating son who needs mom's help with a late homework assignment, a disappointed stood-up sister, etc) in order to show us that in spite of these less than perfect situations and outcomes, of the sort over which we frequently beat ourselves up, sincere believers often do much mores good than they realize they do. You missed the main point of the video, which is that in spite of the many troubling imperfections of everyday life we still do much good.

Without even viewing the video, I can pretty much predict from the title that this is the intended message.

[MorningStar]

But Scott, you should watch the video. 

[Calm]

I hope the video was not meant to portray her entire life.   She had her to do list and was normally organized but this was just one of those days.

I hope so too, but she didn't seem surprised, just frustrated when things happened (except where she forgot something).  It would have worked better if it didn't feel so par for the course to me…the kids doing the same thing morning and night when she wasn't paying attention sounded like pure habit, for example.

 

They kind of dwelled on the cluttered state of the house when she woke up which also made it feel like a typical 'day in the life'.

 

The less than perfect house was great, I dont even mind that the day was overcrowded, etc.  That is life with small kids and sometimes even as a single person.  I just didn't get this was a person listening to the Spirit, but someone who was kind but perhaps had gotten into the habit of being kind rather than thinking about the choices she was making and how to go about them in new ways to balance things.

 

I am not sure how they could have conveyed that.  A lot of people have lives where every day stuff falls through and it is no fault of their own so showing it as a typical day isn't that bad…it is as Juliann said the impression she is responding to who pushed the hardest that just doesn't sit right for me.  

 

This video without the message feels like it is making excuses for being imperfect and being a martyr instead of putting a little more effort into planning.  Making a list on what ends up looking like a scrap piece of a paper and having a calendar on the refrigerator isn't really effective planning or being open to the Spirit.  I speak from experience on that.

 

When she said the prayer in the morning, that put me off too…it sounded by habit to me rather than listening.  I think perhaps they wanted to teach that even if one falls into this kind of a trap, one's life still has huge value and that isn't a bad message but it needs a bit more development imo.

Edited December 20, 2014 by calmoriah

[MorningStar]

This lady nailed it and it has some great comments too. 

 

http://bycommonconsent.com/2014/09/22/you-never-know/

[Calm]

This comment helps me see the video in a better way:

 

And maybe that’s why I loved it. Because, in my life, it wasn’t about the decisions she made, right or wrong. It was that her sacrifices could stress her out, burn her out, and ruin her life as she dashes from one thing to another. Or her sacrifices could be consecrated to the Lord, the things she did could be in His service, whatever those things are. In the end, she was strengthened and energized by the realization that her sacrifices were not unnoticed, nor unappreciated. HE saw every thing she did.

 

But I am not sure if this was conveyed by the message given…that be at peace if you've consecrated your life to the Lord and thus don't be burdened by sorrow for missing out.  However, this consecration if it came didn't really consciously appear until the end of the day, she was not approaching her life like that even if she had mouthed the words in the prayer that morning….I think if they had shown her repeating the prayer under her breath once or twice, it would have conveyed that message better.

 

But that also didn't really deal with the cousin thing…should she just not care because she wasn't able to do it?  

 

I think it is a bad sign that so many of my friends say on Facebook they find this video validating. In a way it’s easier (because more familiar) to keep over committing than to protect some appropriate time and energy for ones own projects. We need to learn to do the more difficult thing. If the character had been allowed herself to value what she wanted for herself, she may have been able to see solutions like dropping off an uncooked casserole so she could make it to the airport. And give better career advice to a sister who needs to get a less toxic job and be an equal partner in a sister relationship.

 

“

Many Mormon women do not have clear boundaries for themselves. They feel a sense of confusion about who they are, because many competing voices lay claim to them and they try to accommodate them all. For example, when I became a member of the Relief Society general presidency, I was appalled at how many women were tormented by guilt about their responsibilities as mothers. . . . .It is a strength for women to be able to cross their own boundaries easily when they are meeting the needs of their children and serving others, but it is a great disadvantage when they feel every call for service as an imperative which they are obligated to meet. Remember, a boundary has “yes” on one side and “no” on the other. A woman who never feels that she can say “no” is lacking an important element of personal identity and, hence, personal safety.”

 

Edited December 20, 2014 by calmoriah

[Robert F. Smith]

Yes, I love Pres. Hinckley's message!  The video just didn't go with it for me.  I know a lot of women felt the same.  One woman commented in RS, "Is self-care not important?"  She felt the same - she spent the whole day doing things for other people and then didn't get to do the one thing she was looking forward to.

Happens to me all the time, but choices have to be made.  I have such competing choices tugging at me just now.  I don't like having to choose, and I feel guilty that I am spread too thin -- as though it is my fault.

[Robert F. Smith]

My response at the dinner time was "why not order pizza for her family and the other one?"

...........................................................................................................................................................   

I don't think it means we are wrong, we just learn different lessons from these kinds of things…as along as we actually learn something positive, does it matter really why for something like this that hurts no one if we nitpick it?

As usual, cal, I come away from your comments wondering whether I have a good interpretive handle on that video at all.  Should I feel like a failure because I just didn't quite get it?  Am I being whipsawed?  Probably.  Luckily, I will sleep well tonite anyhow -- despite the shortcomings I share with all those other humans out there.     .

Edited December 20, 2014 by Robert F. Smith

[MorningStar]

I remember my bishop telling me that if he has a choice between a kids' soccer game or talking to someone, he chooses the game because it was becoming too easy to put his family last all the time.  He would find another time to squeeze people in.  Basically, if I have an appointment, date, etc., I keep that and fit in whatever service I can do if asked.  It would have to be pretty major for me to cancel on people and being asked to make dinner for someone who had a baby would not fall under an emergency issue that I need to help with that moment. 

 

It's interesting that my sister loved the video so much because she overextends herself while my mom and I are telling her, "Stop taking on so much!"  She has some mental health issues and we worry about her burning out.  And when you burn out, it's hard to help anyone anymore.  A friend and I were talking about the video and I said, "There are chaotic things that we absolutely can't help, but this sister could have prevented some of the difficult things in her day - caving to the daughter, helping with the science project at the last minute, her sister asking her to have lunch with her that day/talk to her, deciding to make dinner for the family when it would be very close to the plans she had with her cousin, etc.  At the end of the day, she became so frustrated, she snapped at her children and broke down.  If I overwhelm myself to the point that I'm not treating my family well, I have taken on too much.  My kids will remember how I treated them.  They're not going to be so impressed with the fact that I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off because I was always saying yes to other people." 

[Calm]

As usual, cal, I come away from your comments wondering whether I have a good interpretive handle on that video at all.  Should I feel like a failure because I just didn't quite get it?  Am I being whipsawed?  Probably.  Luckily, I will sleep well tonite anyhow -- despite the shortcomings I share with all those other humans out there.     .

Did you learn something good?  Then what does it matter if it was not the lesson someone else learned.  Simply because I see it one way doesn't mean I insist that everyone see it my way.  I hope that others understand what I am pointing out and take it as a reasonable position to hold, but I suspect each of our reaction has much more to do with what we bring to the video than what the video itself is about.

 

To me it is very important to make choices proactively and not just by default….she did not choose not to got to the airport in favour of the other things, she wanted to do them all.  She just didn't plan or respond effectively enough.  Depending on what was important about her getting together with her cousin, it might be something major or not that big of a deal.

 

Others may see it as something different.  I can think of one person in my life (not my husband in case anyone goes that direction, my husband is someone who has had to learn to say no and plan a bit more rather than just jumping in both feet wholeheartely and without resentment most of the time to help others) who I wish would watch it and get that it was important to look at others' needs and put them first from time to time as well as his own, but I think he would just wave it away as completely irrelevant to his own life…after all he has a wife to do that kind of stuff if people ask him.

Edited December 20, 2014 by calmoriah

[janderich]

My biggest concern with the video is that it attempts to validate this kind of hectic way of life. And further, as has been said, I'm concerned that anyone would find comfort in it.

 

Why are so many members content to live their lives in such a manner? It is not the way Christ lived his life. He didn't run to Bethany when he heard that Lazarus was sick. He didn't ask Mary to help serve (or feel he needed to do so) when Martha was complaining in the kitchen. He didn't offer more food to some subset of the 5,000 when they told him they needed it. When someone runs around stressed out and pulled from one task to another the spirit is not in it. In fact, it is quite the opposite: 

Scratch the surface of impatience and what you will find lying beneath it, subtly or not so subtly, is anger. It is the strong energy of not wanting things to be the way they are and blaming someone (often yourself) or something for it. (Wherever You Go There You Are, p 48)

 Patience and peace are the gospel message. Not after we die, not in some future unknown, but right here and now. If we cannot find it right now, in the very moment, then when will we ever find it? 

 

We cannot let impatience and anger to dominate the quality of our day. "Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not neither do they spin". I say stop "spinning" and your boy will learn the consequences of not completing his homework assignments. Stop spinning and you will be able to see your cousin at the airport. Stop spinning and you will go to bed filled with the spirit of the Lord, not depleted and beat up as if the spirit has been wrung out of your life and all you can do is crawl into bed and cry.

 

Unfortunately I feel like I have to add a note. Everything I have said above does not add another item to the "to do list"! It does not mean you have to "be positive". It does not mean you are "bad" if you are stressed out. Fill yourself up by investigating your mind and you will see there are competing voices. Learn to listen to the spirit and you will find harmony in each moment of every day. Life will then flow, not have to be pushed.That is the fruit of the gospel.

[saemo]

Thanks...

 

Those two things contributed to me feeling like she was rather thoughtless and acting on a 'what is yelling loudest' basis rather than thinking about implications of how she was doing things or being open to the Spirit.  I think it might have helped a lot if those were altered in some way…maybe she checked her face book while waiting for oatmeal to cook for example…and they showed her interacting with her own daughter but the other kid she was babysitting more or less disappeared as far as her paying attention to her.  I would have felt better if she was taking pictures of both of the little girls, I think, rather than focusing so much on her own I was wondering what happened to the other one….off drinking water out of the toilet perhaps.  

I thought it realistic. There are days where everything seems a distraction, including family. It's ok to have those days. God is not absent from our lives on those kind of days. He is always with us, even when we are unable to make that realization or connection ourselves.

I thought the family prayer in the morning was kind of amusing. Where she expressed getting things done. Oh the best laid plans. God has other plans, almost always. Recognizing that on a bad day, and seeking to understand God's will, is a comfort.

[Traela]

I really didn't have a problem with most of it. Yeah, she shouldn't have caved to her daughter or scrambled so much with the science fair project, but it happens. Her sister, the neighbor, all good.

It broke down when it came to bringing dinner to the neighbors. Apparently meeting up with her cousin was less important because it was something she wanted to do? What about the cousin? Isn't she just as worthy of service? Not to mention, blowing off an appointment, a promise, is rude. There were so many other ways she could have supplied dinner without blowing off her cousin.

They could have gotten the same message across by having her scramble, but still getting to the airport on time. Then at the end of the day she looks at her To Do list and thinks that she accomplished very little that day. THEN we go to the voiceover and the montage of all that she really did.

[Calm]

They could have gotten the same message across by having her scramble, but still getting to the airport on time. Then at the end of the day she looks at her To Do list and thinks that she accomplished very little that day. THEN we go to the voiceover and the montage of all that she really did.

 

That would have been a better approach imo.  They could have added a number of things to the to do list that didn't get crossed off, her looking around a less than perfect house, perhaps a gift she had meant for her cousin left sitting on the counter, and then have the kids in the background annoying each other.  

 

And rather than having her realize it in a prayer (though I like the Spirit relaying a message, it makes what she is thinking less clear)…perhaps she is crying as she transfers the mostly uncompleted to do list to the next day and then she has a phone call from one of those she helped telling her how much difference it meant (preferably from her sister and have her sister say "and next time it is your turn to tell me your frustrations") so it is made clear what connection she is making herself and then showing the differences made including her cousin and her having a great hug, and finally showing her change of heart first by having her put a title of "possible opportunites" on her to do list and adding "mail gift" with a smile and then finishing up with the prayer where she is not being hit over the head but at peace.

Edited December 20, 2014 by calmoriah

[Yirgacheffe]

My lifetime as father of a large family.  For all these many years I have wanted a Harley motorcycle and still haven't got one and now it is too late.  However, looking back I can't find anything I would change that would allow me to have gotten my Harley.

Not quite the same as leaving someone sitting alone at the airport after you have made a commitment to meeting them.

[Robert F. Smith]

I thought it realistic. There are days where everything seems a distraction, including family. It's ok to have those days. God is not absent from our lives on those kind of days. He is always with us, even when we are unable to make that realization or connection ourselves.

I thought the family prayer in the morning was kind of amusing. Where she expressed getting things done. Oh the best laid plans. God has other plans, almost always. Recognizing that on a bad day, and seeking to understand God's will, is a comfort.

Well said, saemo.

Helps me feel that I am not a complete idiot.  Maybe just a bit on the idiotic side, like a great many others.

[Calm]

I hope no one thinks because I have invested some time into nitpicking here, I think it is a significant problem and that I want others to join me in agitating for better videos, etc.  I just tend to really dissect something once I start thinking about it.

[Scott Lloyd]

I haven't yet bothered to watch the video, so take this for what it's worth.

 

But it seems to me from the description and the discourse on this thread that the message is similar to the one in the beloved Christmas movie "It's a Wonderful Life."

 

I've seen some people express frustration with that too, because the hero seems always to be giving and never getting what he deserves. (And yes, I hate The Giving Tree also, for that reason.)

 

But the I love the movie, because it effectively conveys to me the understanding that, despite the frustrations of life, we might actually be accomplishing more and receiving more than we think we are (viewed with what we Mormons are wont to call the eternal perspective or the eternal scheme of things). And, when you consider it, that really is a reassuring and comforting message.

Edited December 22, 2014 by Scott Lloyd

[rockpond]

I once brought over a bottle of good quality spaghetti sauce, french bread, one of those ready to eat salads and uncooked noodles and lots of napkins in a nice basket.  It was a matter of adding a few things to shopping and considering how I wasn't managing to cook my own family dinner at the time, it was what I could do.  I made sure it was okay when they asked me to provide dinner.  The leader said it sounded like a good compromise.  It was for a family that had to spend a lot of time at the hospital with their kid so it was more about not having time to shop than cook.

 

We have done pizza at other times, usually with an apology that it wasn't more personalized.  It has always been appreciated though and no one has said we were jerks for doing it.  They either got that we were juggling our own issues or were kind enough not to tell us we weren't doing it with the right spirit.  

 

We recently went through a small patch of health issues in my family.  Early one evening a friend dropped off a pizza from the local take-n-bake place.  I didn't care that it wasn't "personalized" or that I had to put it in the oven.  The act nearly brought me to tears.  It had been a particularly rough day and our friend would have had no way to know that... it was coincidence or a spiritual prompting.

 

I like the message of the video and hope that for most, it will overcome the details that could be a little distracting.

[Yirgacheffe]

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2014-00-008-you-never-know?lang=eng

 

I tried to post this the other day, but lost the entire thing because of technical issues.  After I tried to post the link, it wouldn't work and the box wouldn't close.  See if the link works above.

 

Anyway, many of you have probably seen the video the church put out called "You Never Know" and it was brought up in our Relief Society last week.  The teacher was very upset about the backlash against the video since the church made the video.  She asked for our thoughts and I said I appreciated the message they were trying to send, but the delivery could have been a lot better.  I was expecting the moral to be, "Don't overextend yourself."  But it wasn't.  She said women complained, "How dare you tell me I need to add more to my plate!"  I didn't feel like that was the message.  This sister also feels like many Mormon women feel put out when they're asked to serve, unlike women in other churches.  That has not been my experience.

 

Basically, the mother has a chaotic day and rearranges things and takes on new things, which causes her to miss meeting her cousin at the airport, which she had been looking forward to a lot.  She lined up a babysitter and everything.  It's not clear where the husband is in the picture, but she is wearing a ring, so perhaps a business trip.

 

The day starts with her telling her daughter she is NOT going to make her anything else for breakfast.  The next moment she caves and the little girl is smirking and eating her cereal.  Maybe I am too detail oriented, but my thoughts were that the mom caved when she didn't need to.  Also, the girl is old enough to pour her own cereal.

 

They have a prayer, asking that they will be able to get done everything that they need to.  They're already in a rush and the son reminds her that his science fair project is due that morning.  Rather than saying, "Sorry, son.  You can't spring this on me at the last minute.", she helps him throw it together.  And of course, he wins the science fair.  So it's good that she bailed her son out because he won the science fair?  It looked like they just needed to glue the things on the board, but still.  I wouldn't have chosen as a mother to jump because my child forgot to finish their project.  In our school the science fair is optional for most kids, so that's just another detail that bugs me. 

 

She gets the kids to school, goes home with her toddler, and a woman shows up at her door asking if she can watch her daughter because she needs to go to the doctor.  She hesitates and asks if she has asked anyone else, but ends up telling her she'll do it.  She needs to do some things at home anyway.

 

Then her sister calls and asks her if she'll meet her at the park for lunch because she wants to talk about some work issues.  So she brings the kids and her sister is talking about quitting, but she says, "If you don't do it, who will?"  Ah ha!  This seems to be this woman's entire philosophy and why she can't stay no.  If someone asks her to do something, obviously no one else will, which is silly.  It's good to serve as much as we can, but we need to have a balance and there are lots of people willing to serve.

 

She is also called and asked to bring dinner to a family that just had a baby.  She could have said, "I have plans tonight.  How about I bring it tomorrow?"  No, she adds one more thing as if she is the only person in their entire ward who can bring the family dinner.

 

She's so frazzled by the end of the day, she forgets to turn on the oven.  After the cooking time has passed, she realizes it didn't cook and ends up turning the oven on, bringing it to the family late, and misses the date with her cousin.  The better option would have been to drop it off uncooked and told them to pop it in the oven for 30 minutes!  Ugh!  So what we're supposed to see is a woman who is doing so much good for people and that she's doing the Lord's work, but some of us are thinking, "Why are you saying yes to everything?!" 

 

The babysitter comes and right after she walks out the door, she comes back in and is very upset because her cousin texted to say she was boarding her plane.  Maybe next time.  She looks completely defeated, her kids start acting up, and she snaps at them, starts to cry, and says for them to go to bed.  Her son says what about prayer and he says it.  He thanks Heavenly Father that they were able to do everything He needed them to do and thanks him for winning the science fair.  It then shows clips of how she helped the people in need that day, which is touching.

 

I'm thinking, "OK, but how about you show a clip of her cousin crying at the airport?  Do her needs not matter?"  You can't just meet relatives by the gate these days anymore.  Her cousin would have to leave the secure area to wait for her and then go back through security again to be groped by TSA!  That's no small sacrifice in my book.  What a hassle!  Those security lines can get insanely long! 

 

So the point was supposed to be that we never know just how much we help people.  "Sometimes, the most important things you do each day are never even on your “to-do” list. You might worry about the things you never get done, but President Gordon B. Hinckley reminds us, “You never know how much good you do.” OK, I love that message.  I would love a video that goes well with it.  One time I had to dump all of my plans to catch up with house work to help a friend who was penniless and needed a ride to take care of some very important things.  I was frustrated, but felt like it was more important to help her.

 

The woman doesn't say that she's going to the doctor to get the results of a very serious illness, but by the way she cries and leans on her husband for support, you know it must be cancer or something.  I felt happy that she chose to help her.  Unfortunately, the message comes across to a lot of people as, "Serve others even if it means sacrificing your own needs."  Also, it would have been a better example if she had been wanting to go to a regular girls' night and been disappointed about that.  I was yelling at the end, "She didn't get to see her cousin?!"  I have cousins I see maybe once every 5 years, so that would have been a huge deal to me. 

 

What do you think of the video?  I have had quite a few friends post it on FB because they love it and probably just as many comment on how it doesn't send the right message.

I agree with everything you said, your description of how you would handle the morning breakfast/project is all me.  I didn't do what she did for my kids and don't really approve of it.  With mine it was "you eat what I make or get it and clean up after yourself "  Nor do I believe that because a child procrastinated until the very last minute I should drop everything and do it for them, they need to learn to manage their time too, something the woman in the video is doing a very poor job of teaching.  When my kids  were little their projects were their responsibility if they left it to the last minute they received a grade that reflected that, as a result that's not a problem now when they're at an age where grades matter, they take care of their responsibilities.  I also found her saying to the sister "if you don't do it who will?" a really bizarre take on the work world. Deciding whether or not to quit your job should be carefully considered but "who will?"  Come on, it's a job if you quit they will hire someone else to fill the position, she's a co-worker not their mother, sheesh.  At the end like you I don't see where saying yes to anyone who comes along with a request to the point of breaking a promise you've made is a good thing, the woman at the airport wasn't worth considering.  Really why didn't they have the whole cousin at the airport thing a going to Paris for school thing, with a couple of friends and a flight leaving at a certain time, they would have had the "she's so sad she missed it" without blowing off a lonely woman at the airport.  And like someone else noted the children being totally oblivious to their mother's unhappiness was unnatural and a little creepy, reminiscent of children in horror movies.

[MorningStar]

Agreed, Yirgacheffe.  This woman should screen her phone calls like I do.    Half kidding.  I answer if I'm not feeling overwhelmed already, but it's good to listen to voice mail and to be able to think for a moment as to whether I can handle more or not instead of being putting on the spot and listening to someone who maybe doesn't understand that I have too much on my plate already.  Some women pride themselves on being martyrs and look down on others who are not.  That's just not me.  Sometimes what I wanted to do can be put on the backburner to help someone and other times I have to make my housework a priority because it gets to the point where people can't find their clean clothes or there aren't any clean clothes,  and then there's chaos, crying, yelling, etc. Or I need to be around to enforce the children helping with those things. 

[Yirgacheffe]

Agreed, Yirgacheffe.  This woman should screen her phone calls like I do.    Half kidding.  I answer if I'm not feeling overwhelmed already, but it's good to listen to voice mail and to be able to think for a moment as to whether I can handle more or not instead of being putting on the spot and listening to someone who maybe doesn't understand that I have too much on my plate already.  Some women pride themselves on being martyrs and look down on others who are not.  That's just not me.  Sometimes what I wanted to do can be put on the backburner to help someone and other times I have to make my housework a priority because it gets to the point where people can't find their clean clothes or there aren't any clean clothes,  and then there's chaos, crying, yelling, etc. Or I need to be around to enforce the children helping with those things. 

I don't know if I will articulate my thoughts here clearly, but I'll try.  There is so much to be done, so many things that if you don't stay on top of them they will snowball, your example of laundry is just one among many.  We have to make time for all those tasks but what I really want to make sure I have time for is "time".  Unstructured, unhurried time with my kids, time to let the conversation go where it will, to discuss ideas and values within the context of our everyday lives.  To listen to them, to take the time to needed for them to share their interior lives.  I also want to be able to spend time with my DH, to keep up with his interior life and he mine, time and talk enough to keep our relationship/friendship strong and fresh.  I'm very measured with the time I spend volunteering, it always has to be weighed and balanced against what my family needs at that particular time.  Yes there will be times when people need me to do something and yes we should all make an effort to get out an involved in helping others, being neighborly, caring for those less fortunate than ourselves, but no one should be expected to say yes to every single person who requests our time.   

[grannysue]

I have to admit that I am not a fan of the video. Not that it offends me or anything, it just didn't move me as it might have. Why? Mainly because she had agreed to meet her cousin at the airport, and she didn't come through. Quite simply, she put too many other things ahead of it. I wish she would have said as many "yeses" as possible while still making it a point to see her cousin. It was as if she couldn't prioritize at all. For instance, when she was asked to bring in a meal, she needed to think whether that was feasible, given the commitments she had already made that day. Any woman in the Relief Society could bring in the meal for that evening. The sick woman's needs could still be met, and if our video lady wanted to help, she could volunteer for the next meal. But *she* is the only one who can meet her cousin at the airport. And her cousin's needs were certainly not met that day. Nor were hers.

 

I understand the message this video was trying to convey, and I agree with that message. However, it didn't ring true for me as it might have. I don't believe Christ bit off more than He could chew to the detriment of someone to whom He had made a commitment. This woman seems almost codependent in her need to take on any and everything suggested to her, even if it meant letting her cousin (and herself) down.  Being Christlike means serving as He served. And codependency is not involved.

 

JMHO, of course.