EllenMaksoud Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I was just reading an article in Arabnews.com in which the author said that in a study of 285 housewives, 73% said they were subjected to verbal abuse by their husbands. http://www.arabnews.com/news/506896 So, I know that in the US, somewhere around 20% of women have been struck by a male. I wonder what those statistics look like in the Mormon church? Are the rates lower?
MorningStar Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I don't know if there are any statistics on that, but I doubt it's as high as that.
BookofMormonLuvr Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 (edited) Do they define what the term "verbal abuse"?I know from my own marriage that if you catch my wife on an off day she would probably answer yes. So, I believe a definition of what it entails is important as the views of what it is can greatly vary.Adendum: I guess I should've clicked on the article. "Shouting" is the one I would raise a question about on the list. If shouting constitutes verbal abuse, I would hazard a guess that most have been abused verbally. Edited January 10, 2014 by BookofMormonLuvr
EllenMaksoud Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 I don't know if there are any statistics on that, but I doubt it's as high as that.From my limited personal experience, I would expect it to be lower than the USA national average.
EllenMaksoud Posted January 10, 2014 Author Posted January 10, 2014 Do they define what the term "verbal abuse"?I know from my own marriage that if you catch my wife on an off day she would probably answer yes. So, I believe a definition of what it entails is important as the views of what it is can greatly vary.I've had a couple Saudi guys "tear into me" and those guys seemed quite comfortable with women as equals to cows.
bluebell Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Do they define what the term "verbal abuse"?I know from my own marriage that if you catch my wife on an off day she would probably answer yes. So, I believe a definition of what it entails is important as the views of what it is can greatly vary.Adendum: I guess I should've clicked on the article. "Shouting" is the one I would raise a question about on the list. If shouting constitutes verbal abuse, I would hazard a guess that most have been abused verbally.My husband has never raised his voice to me, nor I to him, in over 13 years of marriage. Hopefully that's not a rare thing. 1
The Nehor Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 My husband has never raised his voice to me, nor I to him, in over 13 years of marriage.Hopefully that's not a rare thing. So getting into three yelling matches within a week of my relationship starting does not bode well for our potential. (I'm joking)
Bill “Papa” Lee Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I was just reading an article in Arabnews.com in which the author said that in a study of 285 housewives, 73% said they were subjected to verbal abuse by their husbands. http://www.arabnews.com/news/506896 So, I know that in the US, somewhere around 20% of women have been struck by a male. I wonder what those statistics look like in the Mormon church? Are the rates lower?I never see a study about men being yelled at...meaning verbal abuse. One thing I know is my wife nor children have ever heard anything I yelled at them.
BookofMormonLuvr Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 My husband has never raised his voice to me, nor I to him, in over 13 years of marriage.Hopefully that's not a rare thing. Hopefully, my marriage will be that perfect someday. But as for today, we are flawed.
bluebell Posted January 11, 2014 Posted January 11, 2014 Hopefully, my marriage will be that perfect someday. But as for today, we are flawed. Oh my goodness, my marriage is far from perfect! I've just noticed that sometimes people think that yelling is a natural and normal part of having a relationship (usually when that has been the example set for them growing up, but not always). I just wanted to point out that it's really not. Sometimes all it takes to change our bad behavior is the realization that it's not 'normal' like we thought. It's way easier to justify bad behavior when we feel like we are just doing what everyone else is doing. At least, it is for me anyway.
PtolemyGlenn Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Abuse goes across all lines regardless of sexuality, race or religion. Some are just better at hiding it thanothers. Or others are more open about it.My gf and I are far from perfect but we would never physically, mentally, emotionally or veverbally abuse eachother.I think we learned to strive to be better than the generation before us. As both of us have had issues in our pas in regards to abuse from family and religious organizations. You just need to be vocal when it happens and dont hide it. If someone abuses you ita bot your fault its the fault of the person or organization doing the abusing.
Tacenda Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 I'll never forget a RS Meeting I went to a couple of years ago, where a woman from a Women's Shelter in my very sheltered town outside of SLC, came to speak with us about the abuse that was going on right under our noses. Right in our neighborhoods, which are probably 80% LDS. There is only one non member on my street of several homes. An LDS church every few blocks. I couldn't believe it. I still have a hard time believing it, because everyone seems so nice on the outside. But behind closed we just don't know according to this woman, who dealt with these situations on a daily basis.
ERayR Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 I'll never forget a RS Meeting I went to a couple of years ago, where a woman from a Women's Shelter in my very sheltered town outside of SLC, came to speak with us about the abuse that was going on right under our noses. Right in our neighborhoods, which are probably 80% LDS. There is only one non member on my street of several homes. An LDS church every few blocks. I couldn't believe it. I still have a hard time believing it, because everyone seems so nice on the outside. But behind closed we just don't know according to this woman, who dealt with these situations on a daily basis. Did she document said abuse or was it an estimate she pulled out of the sky or somewhere else? I just love those statistical assertions that start "We THINK" that __%,
Tacenda Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 (edited) Did she document said abuse or was it an estimate she pulled out of the sky or somewhere else? I just love those statistical assertions that start "We THINK" that __%, Did you not read my post? She worked there every day!! She was LDS too. She didn't come there to lie to us. You or we need to understand that it happens even in LDS homes. There needs to be openness, not shut the door, don't tell and thereby not address the issue. Is that what we should do? Kick it under the rug, hope no one looks or forget about it. Why do we get talks about the PH not being used in an unrighteous way. Why are we getting those? I understand your disbelief, but that's not going to help the situation. Oh, and that assertion of 80% was purely mine. According to my ward boundaries. ETA: Oh, sorry I didn't mention that she worked at the shelter, my bad. Edited January 23, 2014 by Tacenda
ERayR Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 Did you not read my post? She worked there every day!! She was LDS too. She didn't come there to lie to us. You or we need to understand that it happens even in LDS homes. There needs to be openness, not shut the door, don't tell and thereby not address the issue. Is that what we should do? Kick it under the rug, hope no one looks or forget about it. Why do we get talks about the PH not being used in an unrighteous way. Why are we getting those? I understand your disbelief, but that's not going to help the situation. Oh, and that assertion of 80% was purely mine. According to my ward boundaries. ETA: Oh, sorry I didn't mention that she worked at the shelter, my bad. I didn't say it didn't happen and right in our good LDS homes. I have witnessed it going both ways, husband to wife, wife to husband and mother and father to the kids. What I am questioning is made up statistics. I just looked back and see that your 80% was the proportion of LDS in the neighborhoods not abuse percent.
Calm Posted January 23, 2014 Posted January 23, 2014 I have seen abuse/rape stats that are created by saying reported cases are so many and since it is likely that there are 5 (or whatever the chosen number is) times as many unreported cases, we likely have a total of......We need to always question in those cases why they are assuming the unreported cases are that much more as there are valid and invalid ways of drawing that conclusion.Inflating numbers only helps to create an atmosphere of dismissal. It is very important IMO to be realistic if one wants long term change and not just a temporary interest based on horror that not only expends its energy quickly, but is turned to indifference when it is found that it wasn't as portrayed.
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