I'm glad we are sensitive to those who can't have children

[blooit]

but those of us with large families get a little tired of being told to stop. Last week my wife was told that she "puts them out like puppies." Did I mention this was by the teacher during the lesson.

My wife's response?

"I think I'd rather be compared to a rabbit." (With a smile as always)

[bluebell]

There will always be those people who say things without thinking, or who truly believe other people need their input in order to make righteous decisions.

Bravo to your wife for responding with humor and class-the teacher hopefully did not mean to sound as she did.

[blooit]

There will always be those people who say things without thinking, or who truly believe other people need their input in order to make righteous decisions.

Bravo to your wife for responding with humor and class-the teacher hopefully did not mean to sound as she did.

I do not think she thought about it at all, and she is a great lady. I probably just need to show as much love as my wife did. It is just such a common thing that sometimes I get annoyed, and I often take it personally when people discuss my children as if they were a burden rather than a blessing. I would never presume to tell someone else how many kids to have or even whether or not to have kids, so when the frequent comments are made, I struggle a little.

I just need to grow up.

[Deborah]

My son has seven children, all beautiful, talented and all round great kids. Today my grandson got ordained to a Deacon. Afterwards, the Bishop told Mom and Dad what a great family they have. The ironic thing is my DIL looks like she could be her 18 year old daughter's sister and she is in great shape from doing PX-90 faithfully.

It's too bad some people don't know that the foot doesn't go in the mouth. I used to get criticized by strangers when my children were young for having so many children in our overpopulated world, and I only had 4. But that was in the days when ZPG was the rage.

[Jeff K.]

The whole too many children versus not enough, is a bit over judgemental. I prefer the idea of all the children we can handle, either physically or financially. We all find our own balances.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

but those of us with large families get a little tired of being told to stop. Last week my wife was told that she "puts them out like puppies." Did I mention this was by the teacher during the lesson.

My wife's response?

"I think I'd rather be compared to a rabbit." (With a smile as always)

Ouch...the Church is true, not always the people.

[cinepro]

Ouch...the Church is true, not always the people.

What is the Church if it isn't the people?

[ttribe]

but those of us with large families get a little tired of being told to stop. Last week my wife was told that she "puts them out like puppies." Did I mention this was by the teacher during the lesson.

My wife's response?

"I think I'd rather be compared to a rabbit." (With a smile as always)

Interesting (and unfortunate). I've experienced the reverse regarding not having "enough" children.

[Deborah]

What is the Church if it isn't the people?

the body which teaches those things it hopes its members will embrace.

[ELF1024]

but those of us with large families get a little tired of being told to stop. Last week my wife was told that she "puts them out like puppies." Did I mention this was by the teacher during the lesson.

My wife's response?

"I think I'd rather be compared to a rabbit." (With a smile as always)

I know several well intentioned people who walk around with a silver foot in their mouth.

[DH]

I really don't know why anybody thinks it's their business how many, or how few, kids other people have. Kudos to your wife.

[BookofMormonLuvr]

Mormons telling other Mormons they have too many kids.

The world truly is turning upside down.

[Scott Lloyd]

Interesting (and unfortunate). I've experienced the reverse regarding not having "enough" children.

There's a prejudice people don't often speak of, and I'm afraid it has the tacit approval of many. It is a prejudice against older individuals/couples having young children. It is manifested in the fact that middle-aged couples have a tough time getting approved to adopt children, simply because the couple is older.

[LDSToronto]

I, too, have have witnessed the whole spectrum - you have too many children/not enough children/waited too long to have kids/had kids too early (not all directed at me) in the LDS environment. However, I rarely encounter it in a secular environment.

So, serious question:

Is it a religion and it's teachings that motivates people to judge the reproductive habits of others? Or is it something else?

H.

[bluebell]

I, too, have have witnessed the whole spectrum - you have too many children/not enough children/waited too long to have kids/had kids too early (not all directed at me) in the LDS environment. However, I rarely encounter it in a secular environment.

So, serious question:

Is it a religion and it's teachings that motivates people to judge the reproductive habits of others? Or is it something else?

H.

I've encountered it mostly in a secular environment, so i really have no idea where the lines are actually drawn.

When i've encountered it in the secular environment it's always been a judgement that someone has too many kids or had them too young. I think it's because popular culture right now is such that it supports the idea that it's bad for the environment to have very many kids, bad for you personally to be shackled to to many kids, and bad for kids to have parents who are young.

When it happens in the church, i would guess it happens for the same reasons-popular culture in any given religious setting seems to support the opinion so it is confidentally expressed.

[oats]

I, too, have have witnessed the whole spectrum - you have too many children/not enough children/waited too long to have kids/had kids too early (not all directed at me) in the LDS environment. However, I rarely encounter it in a secular environment.

So, serious question:

Is it a religion and it's teachings that motivates people to judge the reproductive habits of others? Or is it something else?

H.

People talk about what's in their head. At church there is a lot of emphasis on family so naturally the family is talked about and noticed. If you go hang out with boozehounds, sexfiends and drug addicts you'll find that the talk revolves around those subjects. Often times they cross personal boundaries with questions but it's pretty easy to dismiss proper social etiquette when the person is drunk or high. When people make comments about reproduction at church sometimes it's because they are stupid and sometimes it's because their mouth is ahead of their brain and they feel bad about it. Mostly people are overly sensitive, too.

I thought the whole situation was pretty obvious, though annoying in the same way people at schools make comments about one another's grades. I rarely encounter talk about school grades at church. Is it schools that teach our kids to poke fun at each other about their grades?

[Jeff K.]

I, too, have have witnessed the whole spectrum - you have too many children/not enough children/waited too long to have kids/had kids too early (not all directed at me) in the LDS environment. However, I rarely encounter it in a secular environment.

So, serious question:

Is it a religion and it's teachings that motivates people to judge the reproductive habits of others? Or is it something else?

H.

It is cultural, especially Asian, it is religious (in several religions), it is also I think instinct we are driven to reproduce, and as parents we want our children to do likewise. Everyone wants the easy grandma, grandpa job (enjoy the kids and then give them back when you are tired of them.

I think all of these things intertwine.

[ELF1024]

The people who annoy me most are the ones who have never had kids of their own but believe to their spiritual core that they are God's gift to children and know everything there ever was, and ever could be known about children.

[thesometimesaint]

My wife and I are the older couple who are taking care of our now 16 year old grandnephew.

[Jeff K.]

That is a tough decision and I applaud the fact you stepped in when others couldn't. I have seen too many kids treated as commodities in some kind of cultural malaise.

[thesometimesaint]

Jeff K.:

He's a good kid, and turning out to be an outstanding young man. The pleasure has been all mine to help raise him.

[Calm]

My wife and I are the older couple who are taking care of our now 16 year old grandnephew.

My mom and dad get to do that too (only it is a grandchild.) Just started about a month ago, it's been an adjustment for all but overall I think that things are okay.

[WalkerW]

What is the Church if it isn't the people?

I was wondering this myself.

I used to use that phrase, but after reflecting on it, I don't think it makes any sense.

[Jeff K.]

I was wondering this myself.

I used to use that phrase, but after reflecting on it, I don't think it makes any sense.

The church is the people, and it is beyond the people. In other words, the righteousness and righteous acts of the church derive from the people making decisions and implementing the Lords will. When they cease to do so, the people no lonber belong to the church (ie the church of God) and so it no longer exists for them, but awaits a time when the righteous are once again able to bear the responsibilities of the church.

[Deborah]

The people who annoy me most are the ones who have never had kids of their own but believe to their spiritual core that they are God's gift to children and know everything there ever was, and ever could be known about children.

and "If I had kids I'd never let my kid to that" or "My kid will never do that" or "I would never bribe my kid". As if we can control are kids 24-7 and as if we don't get desperate enough to bribe them. Ha, ha.