Church lowers missionary age for women to 18

[MustardSeed]

I can understand how the Lord would expect his people to represent him well and want his believers to bring unbeliever into his presence. God wants us to be happy and knows that we are happier when we are hand-in-hand with him.

I understand that the church would take that and create a program to facilitate that. I also think it’s gets convoluted with the need to grow the church. That gets confusing, doesn’t it?

When the church pressures its people to become full-time Missionaries, there are natural outcomes that are both positive and negative.

How should parents react, feel, etc. when their children do not serve missions?

Should a young woman consider a young man who did not go on a mission less worthy of her as a spouse?
 

It’s a choice to go on a mission as a senior. In actuality, are there social or godly consequences if one  doesn’t?

Are my friends who have been on six senior missions, more faithful than I who have not been on one? Are they favored of God? 

Does the social pressure cloud my own understanding of what is actually best for me personally?

[JAHS]

40 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

I can understand how the Lord would expect his people to represent him well and want his believers to bring unbeliever into his presence. God wants us to be happy and knows that we are happier when we are hand-in-hand with him.

I understand that the church would take that and create a program to facilitate that. I also think it’s gets convoluted with the need to grow the church. That gets confusing, doesn’t it?

When the church pressures its people to become full-time Missionaries, there are natural outcomes that are both positive and negative.

How should parents react, feel, etc. when their children do not serve missions?

Should a young woman consider a young man who did not go on a mission less worthy of her as a spouse?
 

It’s a choice to go on a mission as a senior. In actuality, are there social or godly consequences if one  doesn’t?

Are my friends who have been on six senior missions, more faithful than I who have not been on one? Are they favored of God? 

Does the social pressure cloud my own understanding of what is actually best for me personally?

Actually, most of the time I don't think many people even notices if a person goes on a mission or not. I know I don't. I would like to have gone on a senior mission with my wife but she passed away too soon for that. I don't think God favors anyone based on missionary service. He knows our hearts and judges us based on who we become rather that what we do.  

Edited November 22, 2025 by JAHS

[bluebell]

33 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

I can understand how the Lord would expect his people to represent him well and want his believers to bring unbeliever into his presence. God wants us to be happy and knows that we are happier when we are hand-in-hand with him.

I understand that the church would take that and create a program to facilitate that. I also think it’s gets convoluted with the need to grow the church. That gets confusing, doesn’t it?

When the church pressures its people to become full-time Missionaries, there are natural outcomes that are both positive and negative.

How should parents react, feel, etc. when their children do not serve missions?

Should a young woman consider a young man who did not go on a mission less worthy of her as a spouse?
 

It’s a choice to go on a mission as a senior. In actuality, are there social or godly consequences if one  doesn’t?

Are my friends who have been on six senior missions, more faithful than I who have not been on one? Are they favored of God? 

Does the social pressure cloud my own understanding of what is actually best for me personally?

My 21 year old didn't serve.  I don't know how parents should feel but in this case I feel fine.  If it was a different kid and the reason for not serving was different, then I would probably feel differently.   If my kid didn't want to serve because it was too hard or they didn't want to not date or not be able to play video games for 2 years, then I'd be really annoyed.  I wouldn't pressure them to do it because that kid would be a disaster on a mission, but I'd struggle with a grown adult child with that perspective on life.

On marriage, for me personally, it would matter much why someone didn't serve than that they didn't serve.  Lots of young men who served missions go for the wrong reasons and would make terrible husbands.  I'm assuming lots of young men that didn't serve would make great husbands.  Intention is more important me than the act itself.  Having said that, I knew that I was s supposed to marry a return missionary because of a spiritual experience with God, but I always assumed that that was specific to me and not general instruction for all.  But then I also believe that sometimes God instructs active members to marry nonmembers so i'm probably apostate in my beliefs on that.

For senior missions, my parents haven't served one and probably won't and they don't come better than those two.  I know that they are right with God and couldn't care less what anyone else thinks about it.  (Though as far as I know, no one thinks anything bad at all).

And I do think social pressure can cloud our ability to know what God wants for us and what we want for ourselves.

[Chum]

On 11/22/2025 at 12:52 PM, MustardSeed said:

Why is there an obligation? 

My take is that young men were explicitly required during the early Church. Later on, the Church worked out there was room for young women and senior couples to append to YM's missionary work - and then removed the Church's unstated restrictions.

[Chum]

23 hours ago, bluebell said:

My 21 year old didn't serve.  I don't know how parents should feel but in this case I feel fine. 

None of my 5 did. I think only one really saw himself going and was planning on it. However, he ran into challenges that precluded most options, including that one. 
In general, by the time the sons started ticking past 18, the ever-increasing stresses of home were choking out everything. Every moment was about keeping shelter in place and then hopefully achieving food, etc. We were still attending Church but a lot of that was one-foot-in-front-of-the-other time. Just being around that many people was pretty near our processing limit.

[Calm]

52 minutes ago, Chum said:

My take is that young men were explicitly required during the early Church. Later on, the Church worked out there was room for young women and senior couples to append to YM's missionary work - and then removed the Church's unstated restrictions.

I think Buckeye’s article he linked to earlier is a good history of POV towards the men as well as women missionaries, how it is seen as a Priesthood obligation. 
 

Reposting link for convenience:

https://www.dialoguejournal.com/articles/not-invite-but-welcome-the-history-and-impact-of-church-policy-on-sister-missionaries/

[Chum]

36 minutes ago, Calm said:

I think Buckeye’s article he linked to earlier is a good history of POV towards the men as well as women missionaries, how it is seen as a Priesthood obligation. 
 

Reposting link for convenience:

https://www.dialoguejournal.com/articles/not-invite-but-welcome-the-history-and-impact-of-church-policy-on-sister-missionaries/

I appreciate that from you both. On this end of the planet, I think we're removed in a way that a lot of less-visible facets of the Church aren't as known to us. 

[sunstoned]

On 11/21/2025 at 8:45 PM, The Nehor said:

I still occasionally have dreams where they call me back to the mission field. They aren’t happy dreams.

I had these recurring dreams for years. It was traumatizing.  This was years ago, and I thought I was over this.  They have started to recur.  I am not sure why. I served my mission 50 years ago.

[JVW]

On 11/22/2025 at 2:11 AM, ZealouslyStriving said:

I have the complete opposite reaction- I wake up yearning to go back.

You're crazy

[ZealouslyStriving]

2 hours ago, JVW said:

You're crazy

🤷🏻‍♂️ I just might be. 🤫

[bsjkki]

My spouse, besides dealing with insufferable companions, thought mission life was easy because you only had to focus on one thing. No outside pressures. Loved his mission president whose focus was to 'save the missionaries.' My son felt worthless for two years and like he could never measure up. He had a very by the numbers, salesman focused mission president. He asked at the end of his mission what my son learned. He replied, 'to love people' and the mission president said, 'that's good but I wish you had baptized more.' He found it demoralizing. He has since left the church and feels guilty for ever serving. 

Life is rough.