Church members who leave the church

[manol]

1 hour ago, MustardSeed said:

I didn’t know that.  I thought Bishops were expected to “bring you in” if there were info indicating clear infraction of these basic “rules”.

My brother was a branch president who felt obligated to "bring in" a member who was a friend that he'd baptized, and who was living with his girlfriend.  It was sufficiently traumatic that their friendship was completely destroyed and they both left the Church ("they" being both my brother and his friend; I don't recall whether the girlfriend was a member).  The branch was dissolved shortly afterwards, as nobody wanted the job of branch president after what had happened. 

I would really hate to be in the position of a bishop or branch president.  I hope there is less pressure on them now. 

Edited October 23, 2024 by manol

[Calm]

I don’t know if policy requires it or not if not a leader.

[Malc]

1 hour ago, manol said:

My brother was a branch president who felt obligated to "bring in" a member who was a friend that he'd baptized, and who was living with his girlfriend.  It was sufficiently traumatic that their friendship was completely destroyed and they both left the Church ("they" being both my brother and his friend; I don't recall whether the girlfriend was a member).  The branch was dissolved shortly afterwards, as nobody wanted the job of branch president after what had happened. 

I would really hate to be in the position of a bishop or branch president.  I hope there is less pressure on them now. 

When I was a new (and relatively young) branch president, I was plagued with doubts about many decisions that I had to make that were other than routine.

After a long and difficult conversation with my district president I had my mind eased by this piece of advice from him:

1. pray about the situation
2. talk it over - if appropriate - with your counselors
3. call me if you are still in doubt
4. and then make the decision that you feel is the best you can do under the circumstances
5. you will find that:

• you are unlikely to make a serious mistake
• if you do make a mistake, God will justify or rectify as needed
• let it go - the decision is made

After mentally leaving the church I have continued to apply the non-religious parts of this advice, and while I cannot say that I never suffer regrets, I try to live my life without obsessing about past decisions, including ones that turn out to have been bad based on later information not available at the point of decision.

 

[Malc]

7 hours ago, JVW said:

I meant that there are no "rogue" bishops or stake presidents. When you received your temple recommend you were able to honestly answer "yes" to all of the questions and were considered worthy. Your recommend will last until it expires and it doesn't matter what you do or what you believe during the time in which you have an active temple recommend, it won't be taken away. Now you are unworthy for a temple recommend, which will only impact your ability to renew, not your current abilities to worship. I don't see anything wrong with what either of your Bishops and/or Stake Presidents have done in addressing your specific situation. I just noticed in a lot of earlier comments people mentioned that you may have a "rogue" bishop and I am disagreeing with that notion.

I don't have access to YouTube on my computer or phone so I can't see it, but I'm glad that you are making efforts to draw closer to Jesus Christ!

I understand. I also am not interested, at the moment, in attending the temple. So I don't have a temple recommend because I wouldn't use it.

I've been in the position, at least twice, of being granted a recommend for an ordinance while not giving appropriate answers to the questions.

Once was for my baptism, and the other was for a temple recommend.

In fact, for the temple recommend, a counselor in the stake presidency all but insisted that I ask my bishop for the recommend, with the suggestion that the bishop talk to the stake counselor about my "bad" answers. The stake counselor's explanation to me was that he felt that I needed the experience of being in the celestial room to help me to overcome a situation in my life that would otherwise have barred me from the temple.

[manol]

19 minutes ago, Malc said:

The stake counselor's explanation to me was that he felt that I needed the experience of being in the celestial room to help me to overcome a situation in my life that would otherwise have barred me from the temple.

Good for him.  I'm in favor of religions using what they have to uplift people and lighten their burdens. 

[MustardSeed]

2 hours ago, manol said:

Good for him.  I'm in favor of religions using what they have to uplift people and lighten their burdens. 

I am too.  I wish this was the case as I was trying to raise my kids in our church. 

[Dario_M]

6 hours ago, Calm said:

Not a lot of people share their backstory so openly immediately on the board, so when they do I usually pay close attention because it helps me understand them better faster.   

Really? That's so special.🩵 Most people don't seem to care. 

6 hours ago, Calm said:

And you are an unusual poster, being from the Netherlands, which definitely helps it stick. 

Yeah. I began in Portugal where i just happen to be when i made the account on here, because my parents where there. And now i am where i belong. Back on the Netherlands my home country.