We're Okay

[Damien the Leper]

A friend from Facebook is letting me share this. This thread is not about why people leave the church or anything related. This is about life afterward.

 

I think people misunderstand what it's like to be post-Mormon. I know some of us have decided to be bitter and angry. But I don't think that resembles most of us.

I will say that we, post-Mormons, may be a little broken and experiencing some pretty raw emotions over some problems with the church. There are a lot of things that contribute to our perspectives. I do want to get out of the way that we were not lied to so as to draw us out. We are not naive. Our decisions pertaining to the church are not impulsive.  Sin isn't a major contributor.

I want all my family and friends to know that we're okay. We might be a little broken and a little lost but we're okay. We're working our way through this and we're going to come out healthier than before. We love our families, even the crazy MIL who leaves weird notes at our door telling us that the spirit told her that we needed to go back. We don't need visiting or home teachers dropping by. We don't need the bishop or a member of the bishopric calling to set up appointments to meet with us. Each day forward, this gets easier and less bleak to deal with. But you all need to know that we're okay. And we love you.

[RevTestament]

27 minutes ago, Valentinus said:

A friend from Facebook is letting me share this. This thread is not about why people leave the church or anything related. This is about life afterward.

 

I think people misunderstand what it's like to be post-Mormon. I know some of us have decided to be bitter and angry. But I don't think that resembles most of us.

I will say that we, post-Mormons, may be a little broken and experiencing some pretty raw emotions over some problems with the church. There are a lot of things that contribute to our perspectives. I do want to get out of the way that we were not lied to so as to draw us out. We are not naive. Our decisions pertaining to the church are not impulsive.  Sin isn't a major contributor.

The world is full of "lies" or untruths spread by Satan. God gives His word and Satan immediately comes to pervert it. Thus, we get man's understanding or version of "the truth." Men muddle through it, and often get lost (convinced of this or that). They believe everything the scholars say, etc.

Quote

I want all my family and friends to know that we're okay. We might be a little broken and a little lost but we're okay. We're working our way through this and we're going to come out healthier than before. We love our families, even the crazy MIL who leaves weird notes at our door telling us that the spirit told her that we needed to go back. We don't need visiting or home teachers dropping by. We don't need the bishop or a member of the bishopric calling to set up appointments to meet with us. Each day forward, this gets easier and less bleak to deal with. But you all need to know that we're okay. And we love you.

Sorting one's way through the world can and often does lead to making one stronger. I can say this from experience. So, I will take you at your word that you are "okay." But for me, in the end, I realized I was not living the truths of Christ. Which will ultimately lead to more happiness? The things of the world or the things of God?

I love you too. I was once lost, but was found again.

 

[Jeanne]

1 hour ago, Valentinus said:

A friend from Facebook is letting me share this. This thread is not about why people leave the church or anything related. This is about life afterward.

 

I think people misunderstand what it's like to be post-Mormon. I know some of us have decided to be bitter and angry. But I don't think that resembles most of us.

I will say that we, post-Mormons, may be a little broken and experiencing some pretty raw emotions over some problems with the church. There are a lot of things that contribute to our perspectives. I do want to get out of the way that we were not lied to so as to draw us out. We are not naive. Our decisions pertaining to the church are not impulsive.  Sin isn't a major contributor.

I want all my family and fIriends to know that we're okay. We might be a little broken and a little lost but we're okay. We're working our way through this and we're going to come out healthier than before. We love our families, even the crazy MIL who leaves weird notes at our door telling us that the spirit told her that we needed to go back. We don't need visiting or home teachers dropping by. We don't need the bishop or a member of the bishopric calling to set up appointments to meet with us. Each day forward, this gets easier and less bleak to deal with. But you all need to know that we're okay. And we love you.

I so love this...a rep point!  Nothing has changed in my life to make it broken.  I am okay..and I want others to be okay too.

[Bernard Gui]

It's reassuring to know you're ok, Facebook Poster. I can go my way now and stop worrying about you.

[Guest]

55 minutes ago, Valentinus said:

A friend from Facebook is letting me share this. This thread is not about why people leave the church or anything related. This is about life afterward.

 

I think people misunderstand what it's like to be post-Mormon. I know some of us have decided to be bitter and angry. But I don't think that resembles most of us.

I will say that we, post-Mormons, may be a little broken and experiencing some pretty raw emotions over some problems with the church. There are a lot of things that contribute to our perspectives. I do want to get out of the way that we were not lied to so as to draw us out. We are not naive. Our decisions pertaining to the church are not impulsive.  Sin isn't a major contributor.

I want all my family and friends to know that we're okay. We might be a little broken and a little lost but we're okay. We're working our way through this and we're going to come out healthier than before. We love our families, even the crazy MIL who leaves weird notes at our door telling us that the spirit told her that we needed to go back. We don't need visiting or home teachers dropping by. We don't need the bishop or a member of the bishopric calling to set up appointments to meet with us. Each day forward, this gets easier and less bleak to deal with. But you all need to know that we're okay. And we love you.

There are many reasons why people leave...

No longer have testimonies 

The Church teaches against sins or lifestyles that the person believes in

Church leaders are not perfect as they think they should be, a trait that they cannot live up too

Simple apathy...just been away too long

The Church as a whole is not what they want it to be

Never had a testimony

Joined other Churches

And so many more...

But the comment on being healthier is odd, it suggests that being a member makes one unhealthy. Also, for those whom others members care about; should we just no longer care? I for one don't know how to not care, and I think most members and especially family don't know how to stop caring. Also those who leave the Church don't know how to stop caring for those they love. 

[Jeanne]

5 minutes ago, Bernard Gui said:

It's reassuring to know you're ok, Facebook Poster. I can go my way now and stop worrying about you.

We know there are a lot of people who could care less. And that is okay too.

Edited August 27, 2016 by Jeanne

[CMZ]

Most never had a real testimony (where you know that you know and have a full-fledged undeniable witness from the Holy Ghost to your soul certifying the truthfulness of the gospel, as opposed to maybe having grown up in the Church and leaning on your parents' testimony, being okay with basic Church activity but never developing beyond that, and then losing your faith when you come into contact with anti-Mormon rhetoric) and the reason I think that is because there are a lot of members who are currently "active" in church who don't have a real testimony or a developed enough one. And if some post-Mormon had an actual testimony then they have to have done quite a bit to snuff it out.

[Damien the Leper]

1 hour ago, RevTestament said:

The world is full of "lies" or untruths spread by Satan. God gives His word and Satan immediately comes to pervert it. Thus, we get man's understanding or version of "the truth." Men muddle through it, and often get lost (convinced of this or that). They believe everything the scholars say, etc.

Sorting one's way through the world can and often does lead to making one stronger. I can say this from experience. So, I will take you at your word that you are "okay." But for me, in the end, I realized I was not living the truths of Christ. Which will ultimately lead to more happiness? The things of the world or the things of God?

I love you too. I was once lost, but was found again.

 

And that's fine. However, it is no one else's place to interpret where people are on their own journey.

[Damien the Leper]

It is not appropriate for any person, other than the individual, to gauge a testimony. We are not in the clutches of Satan. We are choosing to stand on our own and embrace life and transcend what we previously were. As I stated, this isn't a thread about why people leave. This thread is to reassure those who remain that we are doing okay and don't need to be brought back into "the fold". We don't need saving from a life outside the church. It's often said that those who leave cannot leave the church alone. It is likewise true that those who leave cannot be left alone by those who remain.

Edited August 27, 2016 by Valentinus

[Damien the Leper]

14 minutes ago, CMZ said:

Most never had a real testimony (where you know that you know and have a full-fledged undeniable witness from the Holy Ghost to your soul certifying the truthfulness of the gospel, as opposed to maybe having grown up in the Church and leaning on your parents' testimony, being okay with basic Church activity but never developing beyond that, and then losing your faith when you come into contact with anti-Mormon rhetoric) and the reason I think that is because there are a lot of members who are currently "active" in church who don't have a real testimony or a developed enough one. And if some post-Mormon had an actual testimony then they have to have done quite a bit to snuff it out.

That's rather audacious. You're hardly the arbiter of others testimonies.

[CMZ]

24 minutes ago, Valentinus said:

That's rather audacious. You're hardly the arbiter of others testimonies.

I'm not stating what a particular individual's testimony might have been, only that there are varying degrees of testimony and different effects flowing from each type. I am merely stating the general principle.

Edited August 27, 2016 by CMZ

[Damien the Leper]

1 minute ago, CMZ said:

I'm not stating what a particular individual's testimony might have been, only that there are varying degrees of testimony and different effects flowing from each type.

It's best to remain silent on it unless it directly impacts you.

One of the most ignorant things someone can say is that if a person leaves then they never truly had a solid testimony in the first place.

It is also ridiculous when someone says that when we leave we'll be so miserable that we won't know we're miserable.

Both are equally laughable, untrue and very insulting.

[CMZ]

9 minutes ago, Valentinus said:

It is also ridiculous when someone says that when we leave we'll be so miserable that we won't know we're miserable.

Isn't it wonderful that I didn't say that?

[CMZ]

10 minutes ago, Valentinus said:

One of the most ignorant things someone can say is that if a person leaves then they never truly had a solid testimony in the first place.

Did you have a solid testimony?

[thatjimguy]

1 hour ago, RevTestament said:

The world is full of "lies" or untruths spread by Satan. God gives His word and Satan immediately comes to pervert it. Thus, we get man's understanding or version of "the truth." Men muddle through it, and often get lost (convinced of this or that). They believe everything the scholars say, etc.

 

This, of course, works both directions.

1 hour ago, RevTestament said:

Sorting one's way through the world can and often does lead to making one stronger. I can say this from experience.

 

I would second this from experience of my own as well. But being brought up a strong agnostic, I don't know if my background as point of view to the church would ever help some ever come back that was born in it, especially if they were in a TBM household. (not saying the OP was)

[thatjimguy]

2 hours ago, Valentinus said:

Each day forward, this gets easier and less bleak to deal with. But you all need to know that we're okay. And we love you.

My only concern for them would be were the bleakness comes from. I would want to come over just for that aspect.

[CMZ]

24 minutes ago, Valentinus said:

It's best to remain silent on it unless it directly impacts you.

 

This is a discussion forum so I feel okay with discussing topics that have been brought up. Hopefully you don't mind responses to your topic. Hopefully you have enough intellectual honesty to be able to listen to viewpoints that are not exactly the same as yours. Or do you only want people to post if they agree with you? As far as I can tell nobody has said that you're not allowed to post what you posted.

Edited August 27, 2016 by CMZ

[Calm]

37 minutes ago, Valentinus said:

It's best to remain silent on it unless it directly impacts you.

And if anyone had gone to where this was originally posted, I would likely back you up on this.

But you brought it here to a board where subjects are meant to be discussed, not one that is meant for support or testimony bearing of loss or conversion or whatever.  If you don't want posters to comment on it, best not to post it.

[Calm]

1 hour ago, Valentinus said:

And that's fine. However, it is no one else's place to interpret where people are on their own journey.

What exactly are you looking to be discussed, Val?  

[Nemesis]

We don't allow this.  If we did this place would turn into fast and testimony meeting.  Btw he following board rule applies to lds as well.

"Why I Left the Church or de-conversion stories". 

Nemesis