MorningStar Posted August 21, 2015 Author Posted August 21, 2015 Wow Rain, you are amazing!!Wish I had some good advice. All I can say is that at least you and your baby have bonded. A former neighbor told me years ago that her daughter had been a colicky baby and cry non stop, and never quite bonded. She didn't go into detail, but oh, how difficult this must be for you.That's funny because when my husband gave me a blessing towards the beginning of my pregnancy, he blessed me that we would have a good bond. Worked too well apparently. Your neighbor's baby sounds like my second - had acid reflux, then thrush for 3 months, didn't like to cuddle but wanted to be held upright all day, and he wasn't very lovey until his sister was born.
MorningStar Posted August 21, 2015 Author Posted August 21, 2015 If you have resisted the urge to give this child Benadryl then you probably deserve Mother of the Year. If that award comes in chocolate, I'll take it. If someone would invent baby Xanax, that would be great.
Guest Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 MorningStar...Mother's seem to always want to take blame on themselves; don't! As you stated every child is different, and not getting the rest you need because of the baby's sleep patterns is going to cause stress in you that can transfer to the baby. Get help anywhere you can to reduce that stress. God will provide you the wisdom you need as he has chosen to put this child in your care. My cousin's youngest child went through 8 months of this, then one night slept without any problem. It frightened her so much she had her husband to go check on Eric, because she thought he had died. She laughs about it now, but when it was happening she thought she would lose her mind. Until the day this is just a memeroy, God be with and my prayers will be.
MorningStar Posted August 21, 2015 Author Posted August 21, 2015 MorningStar...Mother's seem to always want to take blame on themselves; don't! As you stated every child is different, and not getting the rest you need because of the baby's sleep patterns is going to cause stress in you that can transfer to the baby. Get help anywhere you can to reduce that stress. God will provide you the wisdom you need as he has chosen to put this child in your care. My cousin's youngest child went through 8 months of this, then one night slept without any problem. It frightened her so much she had her husband to go check on Eric, because she thought he had died. She laughs about it now, but when it was happening she thought she would lose her mind. Until the day this is just a memeroy, God be with and my prayers will be.Thank you! I know it won't last forever, but I know it's affecting my health. Between stress and sleep deprivation, I ended up with shingles last month. Not only was I wrestling her while in pain, my husband was gone.
bluebell Posted August 21, 2015 Posted August 21, 2015 I've heard of parents swearing by these. They even make ventilated ones for summer time and go all they way up to a year old if i remember right. https://www.woombie.com 1
Guest Posted August 22, 2015 Posted August 22, 2015 Thank you! I know it won't last forever, but I know it's affecting my health. Between stress and sleep deprivation, I ended up with shingles last month. Not only was I wrestling her while in pain, my husband was gone.That is too much, get help from anyone you can before you make yourself sicker...friends, family, Relief Society. Our youngest (now grown and married) was sick so much in his first year, he would only sleep lying on my wife or my chest as we sat up in lounge chairs.
MorningStar Posted August 23, 2015 Author Posted August 23, 2015 That is too much, get help from anyone you can before you make yourself sicker...friends, family, Relief Society. Our youngest (now grown and married) was sick so much in his first year, he would only sleep lying on my wife or my chest as we sat up in lounge chairs.That's awful! Did he have earaches?
Guest Posted August 23, 2015 Posted August 23, 2015 That's awful! Did he have earaches?All the time and trouble breathing and tounge tied. He had surgery one his first birthday. He had to sleep with us for a month and then it took forever to get him in his own bed after that...a loooooooong time!
Paradox_58 Posted August 24, 2015 Posted August 24, 2015 Wow, MorningStar, this sounds like my 7th child, a daughter also. She responded like yours did to labor and delivery--and when she was put in my arms the first time, I had such a clear impression that she was scared witless of being born and being on earth. She was also a difficult sleeper--just didn't seem to have the sleep need that my other children had normally. I never got it. Even now, as a 28-year-old woman, she sleeps way less than most people and thrives on it! It was wonderful when she finally got old enough to do something on her own when she woke up early, early or stayed awake late, late. (Books, videos, games--I was so glad when she could do those things. What a patient mother you are. Also, is it possible some of this is related to your accident shortly before her birth? If you were in pain, I can almost guarantee that she (despite the amazing cushion of the amniotic fluid) might have had some shock and experienced some of your stress. Maybe some talking with her about that (you'd be amazed at what babies can understand) and soothing her, letting her know that despite that somewhat traumatic experience, you will never abandon her and will always take care of her, and that you and she are perfectly safe right now might be helpful. At the same time, I can almost bet that when the veil drops completely around age 18 months to 3 years old, she will completely be "normal," and many of the things that bother her now and keep her from sleeping and attached to you so much will disappear. 2
MorningStar Posted August 25, 2015 Author Posted August 25, 2015 I did consider the possibility that the accident affected her emotionally, but it could be that it was also the many, many contractions I had from about 18 weeks on. On moving day I was laying down on the floor drinking water. It was really hot and the contractions just wouldn't let up every time I took 10 steps or bent over. It was a nightmare. I'm sure the contractions didn't feel good to her either. After the accident, I sobbed everywhere I went because the contractions caused throbbing pain in my spine. Thank you for your support. It has been an extremely stressful year plus.
Tacenda Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 I think that may be it!! Paradox's answer! Hey, babies learn sign language. They would speak the words if they could! I think talking to her about the accident is a great idea.My husband just said you could get a mask that looks like you and put it on others to give you a break, he was kidding but hey, ya never know!! 1
Calm Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 (edited) Start wearing a perfume (something that she likes) and then get Dad to wear it at night as well. Or wear some of his pajamas (or a T Shirt if he doesn't have any) for a couple of days and then have him wear it when you need a break (it worked with the dog...giving her a used shirt to sleep in when she was having a hard time being quiet at night...now she just pees in them so she doesn't get anything special except for her favorite Ikea chair). He really needs to shave that beard. My youngest granddaughter who is shy of anyone but Mom when around a lot of others took the longest to warm up to him because of the beard. Though now perhaps she is used to him with the beard and will be frightened of him without. Edited August 25, 2015 by calmoriah
MorningStar Posted August 25, 2015 Author Posted August 25, 2015 Start wearing a perfume (something that she likes) and then get Dad to wear it at night as well. Or wear some of his pajamas (or a T Shirt if he doesn't have any) for a couple of days and then have him wear it when you need a break (it worked with the dog...giving her a used shirt to sleep in when she was having a hard time being quiet at night...now she just pees in them so she doesn't get anything special except for her favorite Ikea chair). He really needs to shave that beard. My youngest granddaughter who is shy of anyone but Mom when around a lot of others took the longest to warm up to him because of the beard. Though now perhaps she is used to him with the beard and will be frightened of him without. It's hilarious . She seriously doesn't like his beard. Once in a while when she touches it, she shudders. He finally noticed it the other day and I told him again, "Shave that thing off!" Thanks for the ideas. Speaking of perfume, my daughter sprayed mine all over the house yesterday as if it were an air freshener.
Stargazer Posted August 25, 2015 Posted August 25, 2015 Now I will share what is awesome about her. You know, there's no rule against posting baby pictures here! I want to see this little powerhouse! She sounds smart. Make sure you include books about quantum physics in her reading list. Maybe she will grow up to discover something really profound about the Universe.
MorningStar Posted August 26, 2015 Author Posted August 26, 2015 You know, there's no rule against posting baby pictures here! I want to see this little powerhouse!She sounds smart. Make sure you include books about quantum physics in her reading list. Maybe she will grow up to discover something really profound about the Universe.Thank you! She is pretty dang smart. She was just pretending to feed me, then taking it away and laughing. I put food on her tray, lean over like I'm going to eat it, then she quickly grabs it before I can. That's when she holds it towards my face and laughs. I'll have to email you some pictures!
Bee Sweet Posted October 11, 2015 Posted October 11, 2015 My first baby, a daughter, was very strong willed. The first year was horrible. She had colic, was constipated, cried incessantly and I got no sleep. She is still flighty but a dynamic woman.This too shall pass. 1
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