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Babies, Sleep, Lack Of Sleep, Separation Anxiety, Decreased Concentration, Inabillity To Spel And More


MorningStar

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Our adorable baby hardly sleeps at night or even naps.  This is our 5th child and you would think we would know the ropes, but every child is different.  I've had some difficult sleepers, but she's making not sleeping an Olympic sport.

 

It's hard not to blame myself in some way.  Am I doing something wrong?  My kids usually end up in my bed for a while and transition fine.  This time I was rear ended a month before she was born and it was hard to even get out of bed by myself, let alone with a baby.  I couldn't hardly even roll over without screaming.  Sometimes I wonder if I missed that window of opportunity when maybe she would have slept.  I just couldn't get her in and out of her crib. 

 

But then I realize she seems to have a special personality.  Even in utero, the midwife worked up a sweat trying to find her heartbeat, even late in my 3rd trimester.  She seemed to know when other people were touching her and didn't appreciate the Doppler.  When the midwife was checking my progress, it totally startled her.  During labor, she was at 0 station and my water was broken.  After they checked for her heartrate again, I felt like she went higher.  She did!  How the heck?!  Moments after she was born and I was bonding with her, she felt someone else touch her and started to wail.

 

She is just barely starting to warm up to my husband, but if he tries to take care of her in the middle of the night, or really anytime after 6 or 7pm, she screams hysterically.  There was a brief time I got her to take naps, but now she wakes up as soon as I lay her down.  I don't even know how to describe her pained screams.  It's not an "I'm not getting my way" scream, but more like she's being tortured and instant tears.  With a couple of my other babies, I would just walk away and they would fall asleep eventually, maybe after 10-15 minutes, but the one time I got her to sleep through the night, she became more determined than ever never to do it again.  Even if I let her fall asleep on me and don't move, she's awake 15 minutes later or less.  And smiling!  At 5am earlier this week, she was in my husband's face saying, "Dada ......"  That was nice for a change.  Haha!!!  Usually I wake up to her smiling and headbutting/kissing me.

 

I forget words all the time now, like names of my favorite bands, objects, names of friends, etc.  When I try to tell my kids to do chores, sometimes I can hardly even explain what I want them to do, such as with our three receptacles for disposing of garbage.  We have the regular garbage, the clean recycling, and the compost bin.  "Put this in the ..... the ..... you know!!!" 

 

So, so tired.  Anyone have a child this difficult when it comes to sleep?  She's 9 months old.  Now school is about to start for my kids and I still haven't gotten her to be anywhere near a schedule like I hoped.  Was going to write something about spelling.  Too tired.  Not going to.  :P

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I've probably said this before, but Dr Weisbluth's "healthy sleep habits, happy child" book is my baby sleeping bible.

He has advice for all ages and difficulties with sleep. He's also not just a pediatrician but focuses on sleep disorders and stuff like that.

Every kid is so different and not all respond to the same stuff obviously, but it might be worth a try.

I hope you can find something that helps. Being exhausted is a hard way to function.

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I've probably said this before, but Dr Weisbluth's "healthy sleep habits, happy child" book is my baby sleeping bible.

He has advice for all ages and difficulties with sleep. He's also not just a pediatrician but focuses on sleep disorders and stuff like that.

Every kid is so different and not all respond to the same stuff obviously, but it might be worth a try.

I hope you can find something that helps. Being exhausted is a hard way to function.

 

I think her separation anxiety is the big problem.  I'll check out the book though.  Thanks!  I'll ask the doctor next week about her separation anxiety.  I cuddle with her the entire night, I pick her up, grab a diaper, and as soon as I lay her down even just to change her diaper, she cries!  Once in a while she will play on the floor next to me.  My boys were laughing because one day they were playing with her and when I sat down right next to her, she just had to reach out and grab me, holding that pose for quite a while.  It's nice to be loved, but oh my gosh.  She's dozing on me right now and I have to go to the bathroom.  There's going to be screaming.  Again. 

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He does talk about separation anxiety in some of the chapters.

My heart goes out to you. No one can be "on" all the time.

 

I'm learning that I can do so many things while holding a baby.  Not effectively, but still. 

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Well, there is always the Central American method where the mother carries the child in a sling and works in the field that way. When nursing is required she just rotates the sling so that the child is in position, then back to her back so she can work again. The child never leaves her all day. I didn't ask what she did at night.
There are meds which can be used to set a schedule , but one must be careful. I do remember not getting a full night's sleep for the first 20 years, and by then I had teenagers so no real sleep then either.

PS : there are ways to sound proof a room so the crying is much less noisy. :crazy:

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Well, there is always the Central American method where the mother carries the child in a sling and works in the field that way. When nursing is required she just rotates the sling so that the child is in position, then back to her back so she can work again. The child never leaves her all day. I didn't ask what she did at night.

There are meds which can be used to set a schedule , but one must be careful. I do remember not getting a full night's sleep for the first 20 years, and by then I had teenagers so no real sleep then either.

PS : there are ways to sound proof a room so the crying is much less noisy. :crazy:

Haha!!!  Tell that to her sister who has to share with her! 

 

 

I tried the moby wrap, but it hurt my back, plus she hated being in it for some reason.  No idea why.  Ugh. 

 

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My daughter could not be alone in the room to play until she was five. My son was doing it as soon as he could get away from us. I don't think we treated them differently though who knows. She had my sleep disorder fromthe time I could feel her move, if not before but after hearing your story, I had it easy. I could at least sneak off to my bed after her falling asleep for about an hour on my chest at bedtime and then halfway though or so. If I had her first, good chance we would have adopted a boy. As it was we waited 7 years.

Sleep deprivation really sucks the fun out of life. I hope you catch up soon.

I was always afraid of rolling over on top my kids so never could sleep with them in the bed at night. Naps were okay because I would put them on husband's half surrounded by big pillows.

Edited by calmoriah
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Rpn, that hadn't occurred to me but very well could be. Great idea. Maybe a white noise generator as well especially since she's sharing a room. Thick blackout curtains to muffle sounds from outside and keep changing outside light intensity over the night from attracting her attention too.

I use a fan for my noise generator because I like the movement of air....also because I gave my noise generator to a friend. Saved her marriage she claimed. :)

Edited by calmoriah
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She just wants me all the time.  If I get her to fall asleep on my bed and I sneak away, she immediately lifts her head up to look for me and says, "Mama!"  If I lay back down next to her, she'll immediately fall back to sleep. It's like I am the security blanket.  I'm the pacifier.  My older daughter sucked her thumb and slept through the night at about 3 months old.  She likes to be with my oldest son sometimes, but if I'm getting something done, I have to be careful not to walk by them because she'll immediately decide she's upset and wants me.  So I try to get things done in other parts of the house as long as I can. 

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Looks like an interesting article I don't think I've passed on to you before:

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-features-high-need-baby

Section 12 on separation sensitivity was very interesting.

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-lessons-our-high-need-baby-taught-us

I am not sure how well we did on 9 and above with our daughter, who qualified (and still does) as high need from what I just read. Probably overprotected her, but in part it was because I was having to protect myself so applying consistent discipline was not always possible...had to choose the option that was possible even if not the best one.

Edited by calmoriah
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I couldn't sleep when I was a baby and was very hyper due to my undiagnosed Tourette Syndrome. To get me to sleep my mom would first give me a bath to calm me down and then I lay in bed with my mom watching tv until I fell asleep and then my mom or dad would pick me up and carry me to my bed.

Baths are good but you don't want them too warm. My daughter liked lavender in hers as well as lavender massages when she was having a really bad night. I love the plant, hate the smell inside the house (too intense I guess). But if it would help her sleep, I would probably be willing to smell a hill of manure.

Looking at the TV or computer, ipad etc can stimulate the brain so reading aloud or book tapes might be better. I need to put my ipad outside my room at night so I am not tempted when half asleep (and therefore not in the best state of mind to make intellegent choices) but too restless to fall immediately back to pass the time until more drowsy by paying solitaire or something like that.

Edited by calmoriah
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Wow Rain, you are amazing!!

Wish I had some good advice. :(

All I can say is that at least you and your baby have bonded. A former neighbor told me years ago that her daughter had been a colicky baby and cry non stop, and never quite bonded. She didn't go into detail, but oh, how difficult this must be for you.

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It's almost midnight. She's upright, hugging me, smiling, and making adorable noises. Showing no signs of sleepiness. Send chocolate.

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I got nothing. Only that I know how it feels. Have your hubby hold her as much as possible so on the week ends he can hold her during the night so you can get as much sleep as possible.

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It sounds like there might be sensory issues.  You might consider a weighted blanket.

 

If it weren't in the 90's, I would try that. Hahahaha/cry.  She has been sweating so bad and no matter how hot it is, she still wants to cuddle with me!  You can actually see beads of sweat on her face. 

 

Now I will share what is awesome about her.

 

She will eat pretty much anything.  (And she demands to eat everything we're eating.)  Ooh!  Last night she loved the zucchini bread I made so much, she didn't cry when I walked out of the room!

 

She's funny as heck.

 

She's smart as heck.  From the day she was born, people tell us how they can tell she notices everything.  Multiple people when she was only a couple months old have said, "Oh my gosh.  I think she just shook her head "no" at me!"  She started waving around that time too. 

 

At 5 months old, we got her on video saying "Hello" multiple times and "I lah you".  Put a book in her lap and she immediately said it. My friend thinks she's a genius.

 

She's tiny and has huge eyes.

 

She had a couple blood draws recently and hardly cried at all.  She seemed more offended that she was being restrained.  As soon as the weather got warm, she developed a rash all over and we couldn't figure out what was going on.  The doctor finally determined it must be viral. 

 

She's happy the majority of the time.  (As long as she's with her favorite person.)

 

She tries to sing.  She hums when we sing hymns at church.  When I take her to my 2 1/2 hour long choir rehearsals, she absolutely loves it.  The other day we were playing a game and she sang, "Ha ha ha!"  I don't know where she got that from, but she did it several times and was pretty pleased with herself. 

 

She yanks on my husband's beard, which gives me hope that he might shave it.  Someday .......

 

She loves it outside and loved swimming immediately, even sticking her face in the water on her own at 7 months old.  Kicks her legs like crazy and splashes with her arms.  Strangely, she screams when I give her a bath, but large pools, lakes, and rivers with cold water?  She loves it and doesn't seem to react at all to the temperature.  I started to ease her in the lake the other day until I realized it wasn't an issue at all. 

 

She loves artwork.  She stares and smiles at it. 

 

She's identifying body parts.

 

She saw me buying her favorite baby food last month and yelled, "YAAAAAAAY!!!" 

 

There are a lot of things that make her an absolute joy.  I'm just so tired!  :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I got nothing. Only that I know how it feels. Have your hubby hold her as much as possible so on the week ends he can hold her during the night so you can get as much sleep as possible.

 

 

She usually hates his guts in the middle of the night.  :lol:  The after dinner hour is getting a little better. 

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