New Fairmormon 2014 Conference Transcripts Are Online

[Wiki Wonka]

We have some new transcripts from the 2014 FairMormon conference online, and we are working on the rest. We just posted the "Family Members Who Left" panel. Here's the complete list so far:

 

The Book of Abraham and Unnoticed Assumptions
Kerry Muehlstein

 

Blacks in the Scriptures
Marvin Perkins

 

Earl Wunderli’s Imperfect Book
Bob Rees

 

“Mormons can BE gay, they just can’t DO gay”?: Deconstructing Sexuality and Identity From an LDS Perspective
Ty Mansfield

 

Shouldering the Cross, or How to Condemn Racism and Still Call Brigham Young a Prophet
Russell Stevenson

 

The Preposterous Book of Mormon: A Singular Advantage (PDF) 
Robert F. Smith

 

“This Is a Woman’s Church”
Sharon Eubank

 

Panel Discussion: Family Members Who Left

Bob Rees, Karen Lyons, Lisa Twede, Dana Anderson and Roger Nicholson

 

Some Reflections on That Letter to a CES Director
Dan Peterson

Edited September 12, 2014 by Wiki Wonka

[Tacenda]

I was interested in the panel discussion of "Family Who Left" and these words hit home. 

 

 

[bob Rees] So while the questions are being gathered, let me say a few words. I have been reading a very interesting book, which I recommend to everyone. It is called “Wrong, Adventures in the Margins of Error.” It is a very sobering book. It seems to me that one of the problems we sometimes have, when we have this issue of someone who just stops believing or becomes estranged in terms of belief, is that we become like an armed camp. We are right and you are wrong, or you are wrong and we are right. Or whatever it is. And I think it is really important for us to keep a perspective on that. President Hugh B. Brown, who was one of my heroes, gave a talk at BYU called “Freedom of the Mind,” in which he said some rather amazing things. One of which was, “We have been blessed as Latter-day Saints with some truth which the world lacks. But there is a much greater abundance of truth which we do not have.” And then he said this, he said, “We sometimes act as if we had a corner on truth.” He said, “We do not.”

He also said this to the students at BYU and I think this is rather astonishing, and he was speaking as a member of the First Presidency. And keep this in mind in the dialogues that go on between you and friends or family members, or members of your ward. He said this, “We are not so concerned with whether your thoughts are orthodox or heterodox as we are that you should have thoughts.”

So, when people have disagreements or questions, I think it is important to take them seriously. Many people leave the Church, not out of sinfulness, not because they are trying to be difficult. Not because they are being adolescent. Because they have serious concerns, they have serious issues. And very often what they want is somebody to listen to them. And if one can do that and the messages that come from the panel are, love. When our youngest son went away to college he said, and I know it was difficult for him to ask me this. He said, “Dad, if I choose not to be a Mormon, will you and mom still love me?” And I said, “Son, it has nothing to do with that. We love you. That is all you have to really know.”

And so Roger’s really beautiful example of his relationship with his son is one. And also the message that Dana had of hope. Life is long. Remember how much time Heavenly Father gives us to get it right and for most of us it takes a long time, and for some of us, maybe eternity. So part of it is being aware of that. Part of it also, I think, is being aware that in all of our congregations and in our families, there are people struggling with this. And what are we called to do? We are called to minister to them; to mourn with them; to bind up their wounds; to weep with them; to understand them and to help them work through these sometimes very painful and very excruciating issues.

 

And this...

 

I would recommend, not because I think…I mean there are lots of things you can read that I think are helpful. And there is a whole library out in the foyer. I have written two things that I recommend that you might consider. One of them is called “The Goodness of the Church.” In it I try to say, “Yes, there are things wrong with the Church, but very often people have a hard time talking about those.” And I have kind of kept track. People who leave the Church never send me good news about the Church, and people who stay in the Church never send me bad news about the Church. Well, there is good news and bad news about the Church. So, in “The Goodness of the Church” I try to address that. In another essay, (and you can google these) called “Forgiving the Church and Loving the Saints,” I think the Church as an institution, as all institutions, are rough instruments in the hands of the Lord. A general authority friend of mine told me a couple of years ago, he said, “We cannot get anything done in the Church.” He said, “I am not complaining, but I am lamenting.” So, if somebody at that level is feeling a little frustration or anxiety, then we have permission to do that as well.

[cinepro]

Those are interesting comments by Bob Rees.

 

One of the best essays on the subject I've ever read is called "When a Loved One Lets Go of the Iron Rod".  If the Church ever tries to start training Bishops on how to deal with people with "faith crises", this should be the first thing they read (not because they should agree with or endorse all the ideas in the essay, but because they need to first understand them).

Edited September 12, 2014 by cinepro

[Scott Lloyd]

To me, the most powerful portion of a very gripping panel discussion was Roger's account of his experience with his son, including this insight:

 

And by the time I arrived back home in the San Francisco Bay area, I had received a couple of replies. One of them was from Kevin Barney and one of them was from Greg Smith. And they both said essentially the same thing. They said, “You just have to love him.” And so what I did was I wrote him a different letter. And in that letter I said, “You are my son. You will always be my son. Whether you become a stake president or whether you leave the Church, this I will promise you: that you will always be my son and I will always be proud of the things that you accomplish and the good that you do in your life.”

And that made all the difference in the world. And to make a long story short, my son calls me pretty much every day, on my phone, just to tell me what’s going on in his life. I’m not going to go into any details of his life, but he is involved in some very interesting things that are going to do some good in this world. And he loves to call me up and share those things with me. And that is all that I had hoped for at this point, was that we would have a relationship, and we do.

Also, the story he shared later about what happened after he joined FairMormon and had begun to manage the Fair Wiki, about how his nephew's faith crisis was averted by his mission president who referred him to a website and invited him to print out as much content as he wanted. This he did, and carried the printouts in a binder for the rest of his mission.

 

After the nephew returned home, Roger examined the binder and found it filled with content that he (Roger) had written himself.

 

As I said, powerful stuff!

 

I believe FairMormon has helped more people than we will ever know.

Edited September 12, 2014 by Scott Lloyd

[Duncan]

Is the transcript from Matthew Grow and Matthew Godfrey about the Joseph Smith papers going to be online?

[Calm]

People are working on that one, Duncan.

[Rivers]

That Blacks in the Scriptures presentation was an interesting read  Bro. Perkins is another advocate of the theory that the skin of blackness in the Book of Mormon is purely metaphorical.

[Calm]

And makes a very good case for it, imo.