How We View Marriage

[guerreiro9]

How does someone in their 20s even consider an ETERNAL commitment to someone they've known for weeks or months?

I was married at 22 and although our courtship and engagement lasted nearly a year, I considered her for my eternal companion after our second date.

Why does this trouble you?

-guerreiro9

[eddie]

So in the LDS paradigm, is it unthinkable for a worthy couple to get married temporarily but not sealed for eternity? I have to confess that this is still one of the things that I don't get about us. We usually have shorter courtships and yet make the longest commitments. How does someone in their 20s even consider an ETERNAL commitment to someone they've known for weeks or months?

Because marriage is much more than a passing infatuation, which can happen at any age. It is a commitment to one another, and when lived with that perspective, two 20 something people can grow together and change to make one another happy.

My wife wasn't even 20 when we got married. I had just turned 22. We were young by any stretch of the imagination. However 12.5 years later we both are closer and happier than we were as newlyweds. Life hasn't always been easy, she has had some severe health problems, and even has had a few times where I wondered if she would live. Having gone through all that together, and realizing how delicate life is makes me appreciate the sacrifices she has made to bring our children into the world.

Respect and appreciation last a lifetime, while the butterflies in the stomach are passing.

Edited June 2, 2014 by eddie

[Rain]

So in the LDS paradigm, is it unthinkable for a worthy couple to get married temporarily but not sealed for eternity? I have to confess that this is still one of the things that I don't get about us. We usually have shorter courtships and yet make the longest commitments. How does someone in their 20s even consider an ETERNAL commitment to someone they've known for weeks or months?

I don't know anyone who says it is a good idea to get married after knowing each other for only a few weeks or months, though I know it has happened before and worked. What I feel and what I have seen from most parents is that a couple dates for quite awhile.  Then when they are ready to get engaged they keep the engagement short.  I knew my husband for 4 years before we got married, but our engagement was only 2.5 months long and easily could have been less than that because by the time we were engaged we were ready to make the eternal commitment. 

 

I don't know about others, but that engagement made a huge change for us in our relationship in many ways. It was really good to keep it short. 

[halconero]

Do they perform these services only when the couple isn't temple worthy? Or for other reasons? For instance, does a couple ever say, "Hey, we've only been dating for 6 months. We're willing to commit for life but can we get back to you on that eternity thing?"

 

The Bishops are instructed to encourage a temple marriage, but are also instructed not to ask the reasoning behind a temporal marriage.

[cdowis]

In thosen countries where you cannot perform a marriage in the temple, a couple must already have a civil marriage before they are sealed.

Edited June 7, 2014 by cdowis

[Bikeemikey]

In thosen countries where you cannot perform a marriage in the temple, a couple must already have a civil marriage before they are sealed.

Pretty much.

They have to have a civil marriage and then get temple sealed with in a specific time window or they have to wait a year.

At least that is common practice in New Zealand.

[Storm Rider]

Quick question: Does the Church ever perform "til death do you part" weddings or is the full eternity or nothing?

 

Yes, for time marriages are performed as often as they are desired.  I also think that they occur in the temple as desired by those mature individuals who remarry after the passing of their first spouse.

 

This is a matter of choice.  If a couple is not interested, for whatever reason, they may marry for time.  The Church's objective is to teach a straight path to return to our Heavenly Father and the associated ordinances along with that path.  It is obvious that each of us during our life we are more prone to follow and at other times not so much.  

 

Though I believe there is some urgency in choosing the right, I also realize that we have to walk before we can run.  Do what you think is right for you.  A door may slam shut, but God will open the window.