Utah Mormons

[KevinG]

This is fun in the same way a paintball war with the kids is fun. Too bad all of us scheming, dishonest, humorless apologists can't take a joke.

[selek1]

This is fun in the same way a paintball war with the kids is fun.

True- but who brought the water cannon?

Too bad all of us scheming, dishonest, humorless apologists can't take a joke.

I protest. Each and every one of my comments in this thread has been perfectly serious and completely sincere.

Channeling my inner-Garak:

Even the lies?

Especially the lies.

[The Nehor]

Having never heard the term "Asian Fever", I did a quick Google.

(In the interests of accuracy, it was actually Bing- I don't care for Google's new "record every key stroke for your own good" security policy).

The first six results were references to Larry Flynt productions....which I doubt is what you meant.

Is this Asian Fever similar in any way to Boogie Fever, Disco Fever, or Saturay Night Fever?

Cuz I'm having a really hard time picturing President Monson in the white tux, black shirt, and gold-chains popularized in that era.

Asian Fever is a slang term for the interests of males obsessed with Asian (often Japanese) women.

[KevinG]

Asian Fever is a slang term for the interests of males obsessed with Asian (often Japanese) women.

In other words any missionary from Utah or California that served in the Pacific rim...

(I'm here all week folks - don't forget to tip your waiter)

[Duncan]

Holy crap, really? I served in the SLC South about 10 years back... My former mission boundaries (which were already small--45thS - Point of the Mountains & Wasatch - Oquirrh Mountains) apparently will now house 3 missions... unbelievable...

I may have known a sister who served there, then. Salfi? married now but not then

[Gohan]

Channeling my inner-Garak:

Even the lies?

Especially the lies.

Oh Garak, gotta love that Cardassian tailor.

I'm moving to UT for the spring/summer on my off-track. Should be interesting to be certain.

[KevinG]

Oh Garak, gotta love that Cardassian tailor.

I'm moving to UT for the spring/summer on my off-track. Should be interesting to be certain.

Seriously - the Wasatch front is a beautiful place with beautiful people. The fact that no one is neutral about Mormoism is unique- but use the opportunity to see the sights and meet the people. We loved our 2.5 years at the Y during my studies - if there is anything we regret it was we didn't take enough advantage of our proximity to church and natural sights.

Now back to my regular offending of anyone not like me...

[Grundelwalken]

It is wildly apparent that Utah mormons are from Utah.

Any thing else?

Well, yes!! I am a Utah Mormon but I am actually FROM Arizona. My father insists that is Zion but after spending most of my young life there, I consider it closer to He**. Surely don't miss those summers and I love having some snow from time to time. MW (a converted Utah Mormon)

[Kenngo1969]

See those Utah Mormons need more repentence preached per square mile than any other place in the world.

(digging a little deeper now!)

(Incidentally, I've lived in an area of Utah in which units were consolidated [formerly-family-occupied homes had been taken over by singles] and in an area which is bursting at the seams, membership-wise [never changed my address, but lived in three different stakes]).

[Kenngo1969]

In other words any missionary from Utah or California that served in the Pacific rim...

(I'm here all week folks - don't forget to tip your waiter)

You forgot the rim-shot.

[Kenngo1969]

Asian Fever is a slang term for the interests of males obsessed with Asian (often Japanese) women.

I was obsessed with an Asian woman, once ... I got over it, though.

[Kenngo1969]

Dillinger robbed banks "because that's where the money was."

Actually, "Because that's where the money is" was erroneously attributed to Willie Sutton in answer to a reporter's question why Mr. Sutton robbed banks.

[Duncan]

Utah Mormons can have Zion but we Canadians will have the Celestial Kingdom! Alberta notwithstanding

[Calm]

Alberta notwithstanding

You are forgetting Banff.....

[Duncan]

You are forgetting Banff.....

I have been to Banff or as my son called it "Gamph" Great Place, many memories!

[volgadon]

With unassuming, quiet dignity I will note that you are all wrong and will leave Josephus the last word.

Skirting the lake of Gennesar [sea of Galilee], and also bearing that name, lies a region whose natural properties and beauty are very remarkable.There is not a plant which its fertile soil refuses to produce, and its cultivators in fact grow every species; the air is so well-tempered that it suits the most opposite varieties. The walnut, a tree which delights in the most wintry climate, here grows luxuriantly, beside palm-trees, which thrive on heat, and figs and olives, which require a milder atmosphere. One might say that nature had taken pride in thus assembling, by a tour de force, the most discordant species in a single spot, and that, by a happy rivalry, each of the seasons wished to claim this region for her own. For not only has the country this surprising merit of producing such diverse fruits, but it also preserves them: for ten months without intermission it supplies those kings of fruits, the grape and the fig; the rest mature on the trees the whole year round. Besides being favoured by its genial air, the country is watered by a highly fertilizing spring, called by the inhabitants Capharnaum [Capernaum]…. This region extends along the border of the lake which bears its name for a length of thirty furlongs [5.6 kilometers] and inland to a depth of twenty [3.8 kilometers]. Such is the nature of this district (The Jewish War 3:516-521, translation by H. St. J. Thackeray in Vol. II of Josephus [London: William Heinemann, 1927], in the Loeb Classical Library series).

[blackstrap]

I have been to Banff or as my son called it "Gamph" Great Place, many memories!

Banff, talk about Asian Fever. Alberta has every kind of climate one could wish for,all one has to do is wait a couple of minutes.

[Duncan]

Banff, talk about Asian Fever. Alberta has every kind of climate one could wish for,all one has to do is wait a couple of minutes.

I heard they have a very, very high rate of std's with all the tourists and people working in the hotels. I got sick going up the gondola ride and then spent $8 for a dry burger!!!!! that's highway robbery!!! Loved the hotel we stayed at with the pools and oh the memories of that trip!

Edited March 16, 2012 by Duncan

[KevinG]

You forgot the rim-shot.

www.instantrimshot.com

[Anijen]

I have it on good authority that Nebraskans make the best Mormons.

[KevinG]

I have it on good authority that Nebraskans make the best Mormons.

Your mother is not an unbiased authority.

[Kenngo1969]

www.instantrimshot.com

That's better!

[gmormon]

No need to mount any real defense. I'll just remain characteristically standoffish, arrogant and quirky. That has worked well enough for us in the past.

I have met Mormons just like this who have never been to the Rockies let alone Utah...

Texas Mormons are superior in every way to Utah Mormons.

See...

[guitarist]

We might have crossed paths. Did you ever serve in any of the Crescent stakes?

Ironically, my biological father lived in the Sandy Crescent stake during my mission. My mission president found that out at our first meeting, and when he introduced us to our trainers, he mentioned it, and said, "Well, we all know where he won't be serving..." In the beginning, I was limited to the west half of the valley. Then, halfway through my mission, my father & his family moved to Portland, OR, and I was later allowed to serve in Big Cottonwood stake, and White City, immediately adjacent to Alta Vista Hospital (the smallest geographical area in the mission--not a single shop (Except Big Lots) lay within that area--had to go to an adjacent area just to find a fast food joint).

[guitarist]

See those Utah Mormons need more repentence preached per square mile than any other place in the world.

(digging a little deeper now!)

Yeah, Utah Mormons didn't seem to realize that they were a mission field in and of themselves--I frequently heard them refer to "outside of Utah" as the mission field, but statistically, SLC Valley itself only had 25% of the population "active"--another 25% were "less active", and 50% non-members. Plenty o' work to be done. In fact, at least at the time, it was one of the highest English baptizing missions in the world. That said, there were still 94 stakes in my mission area then. I understand that number has blossomed considerably, not the least of which was with populating Herriman (which was virtually uninhabited during my mission--the road to Kennicott was a lonely one).

'Course, this thread is the perfect place to reveal my mission's "slogan"--"Every member a mission president." I can't tell you how many "active" members (and inactive/nonmembers too, ironically) would watch us with a critical eye, to make sure we were obeying the mission rules, or at least what they thought were missionary rules. I regularly had people come up to me & my companion on P-Day (The SLC-South mission's P-Day was Tuesday, the North's was Monday), and ask what we were doing at the store. We'd reply how we needed some groceries or some such, and they'd continue to hound us thinking that P-Day was the day before, 'till we'd correct them, and they'd finally relent and go away. Even my mission president would regale us of stories at zone conferences about how many calls he'd receive from members daily about his missionaries. My favorite one that he said was some lady called him up one day, and said she saw some Elders going to a convenience store and that they bought Cokes. To which he replied, "Well, were they thirsty?"