Why Do Mormons Leave?

[Jeff K.]

Obedient like the servant who buried the talents was obedient. One cannot presume the goal of ignorance when one is asked to avoid delving deeply in what is false.

[Senator]

I tell my children not to entertain pornography but they aren't kept so in the dark that they don't know what it is or why it is considered harmful.

The protestations of "I was not aware" still ring hollow.

Maybe to you, but not to me.

My experience was obvioulsy different than yours. You seem to have a hard time accepting that.

[Mark Beesley]

For any person who has an abiding testimony that Joseph Smith was the Lord's prophet, there should be NO historical issue that would cause him/her to leave the Church (assuming, of course, they have a similar testimony that President Monson is a prophet). For that reason, no historical issue is an issue for me.

[KevinG]

Maybe to you, but not to me.

My experience was obvioulsy different than yours. You seem to have a hard time accepting that.

I don't dispute your claim that your parents hid things from you. I've seen it happen with my very own eyes. I shared with you the story of my children's friends who left the home and church at age 18 because they were kept in the dark.

That however is a family dysfunction found among all religions and creeds and not the fault of "the Mormon Church".

[Senator]

It is a great shame that your parents failed to discuss the actual issues, critics and motivations with you instead of trying to insulate you from them.

This is exactly what I mean by a family dysfunction and not the way we should be LDS parents.

I take great offense at your keyboard judgement of my parents. You know nothing about them.

I'm done with you.

In fact I'm done with this place totally.

Edited February 9, 2012 by Senator

[Jeff K.]

You have got to be kidding.

[Senator]

Why do Mormons leave?

BECAUSE OF OTHER MORMONS!

[selek1]

I agree that things are more public, but it is only recently that LDS are facing some of these things.

I would agree with this characterization except for one thing: many of the articles one finds addressing the "issues" date back thirty years ago or more.

Call me egocentric or even presentist if you will, but articles dating back three quarters of my life time (and half of my mother's lifetime) don't exactly qualify as "recent" as I understand the term.

What about people who leave that don't blame others in not informing them, but once informed, leave?

I would consider that they have made a tragic (from my point of view) error. The fact that they don't blame others for their ignorance or ultimate decision, however, means they are not the people I'm talking about.

Some might leave because the crush of all the apologetics needed to believe becomes too much (and that is what we do here). Others might not be crushed by it and can't understand why someone would be disturbed.

I don't believe that any apologist here (nor any faithful Mormon for that matter) operates on a black/white all-or-nothing paradigm.

We cheerfully acknowledge that there are issues that can cause people to doubt, to question, or which might upset people's preconceptions.

We also maintain that these issues are not automagically, irrevocably, or inextricably fatal to a reasoned, informed faith.

The weight which people assign to the different evidences, interpretations, and opinions is entirely one of conscience. If they ultimately disagree with our own ultimate affirmation of faith, we will be sorry to see them go- but wish them no ill or harm.

It is only when such persons accuse us of dishonesty, or of malice, ill-intent, or willful deceit- in short, when they wish to shift the burden of blame from their own choices to ours that we object.

Obedient like the servant who buried the talents was obedient.

Zing! But accurate and relevant to boot. Te salute!

One cannot presume the goal of ignorance when one is asked to avoid delving deeply in what is false.

Indeed. Once we choose either the Church or Mammon, we have forever left neutral ground. The circumstance in which ignorance is an option is willful ignorance.

And since the light of the Lord is intelligence.......

[selek1]

I find your broad characterization of such individuals to be utter bilge (to borrow another's term).

Being of a nautical persuation myself, I know precisely what "bilge" means, and offer Colonel Potter's "Horse-pockey" in return.

And as in all things, you are welcome to your opinion. Just don't ask me to subsidize it.

There are individuals like myself, that were simply following council of the church to not entertain critical (anti) material. In fact I was instructed to treat such material as I would pornography.

This stance would seem far more principled and relevant were it not for the fact that these issues have been discussed in Church approved sources.

Contrary to the cherished and much-beloved old chestnut, the anti-Mormons are not the sole source of allegedly factual information about the Church.

You can call me lazy or indolent if it makes you feel better.

"If it makes me feel better" assumes that I am arguing from an emotional standpoint instead of a reasoned one.

Nothing could be farther from the truth.

[Mark Beesley]

Why do Mormons leave?

BECAUSE OF OTHER MORMONS!

That is probably true of some who leave. Sad.

[Duncan]

Why do Mormons leave?

BECAUSE OF OTHER MORMONS!

I don't want to brag or boast or say our family is any better then anyone else or say this is the ideal way to do things but everyone in my family is active. My two parents, us 4 kids, my sisters two husbands and all the grandkiddies. Now that may change at some pont I don't know. When I was growing up we never read scriptures together or never had FHE. What we did do though was we had family dinner everynight and we prayed then and my Mum always said the prayer and she used to be UCC and said one of their prayers. We went to seminary begrudgingly, YM and YW's very begrudgingly on my part because it was always on Wed. night when Unsolved Mysteries was on. We never really talked much about Church, we always had the Elders over and almost never were home taught. Contrast that arrangement to this other family in our ward and again I am not saying we were perfect and they weren't. The parents had 7 kids and simply made all the decisions for their family and my Mum said they raised them to be mothers and missionaries. The dad was my bishop from mid 80's to early 90's and frankly he was and is a psycho tyrant. They forced those kids to go to Church (the stuff I saw and heard I cringe), camps, activities and the image of what a lds family should be like. Meanwhile he beat them boys and girls and I have seen the marks on the back of one of his sons who is now about 40. When the missionaru and mother thing didn't happen on schedule, boy did spark sfly. All four sons went on missions, whether or not they wanted too. Only ONE of them is now active and moved away-probably to get away from his parents. They had three daughters one of whom is active and doing well and she is the youngest. The older of the thre struggled with all kinds of things, went on a mission but she seemed to get her stuff together and they she got cancer and died when she was about 30? the other daughter got pregnant out of wedlock when she was 18 when she went on vacation to Alberta and then came back here and her dad who was now on the High Council arranged to get her exccommunicated and she wants nothing to do with the church. All in all the parents had this exceedingly strict way of forcing the church down the throats of the kids and it's not suprising that of the 7 only 2 have are active in the Church. It was all image for them and it doesn't need to be like that! This is obviously the tip of the iceberg

Edited February 9, 2012 by Duncan

[KevinG]

I take great offense at your keyboard judgement of my parents. You know nothing about them.

I'm done with you.

In fact I'm done with this place totally.

Pardon my assumption but if it wasn't your family who kept you in the dark by instructing you to "...treat such (anti-mormon) material as I would pornography" then who is it that instructed you to stay in the dark?

[Senator]

Pardon my assumption but if it wasn't your family who kept you in the dark by instructing you to "...treat such (anti-mormon) material as I would pornography" then who is it that instructed you to stay in the dark?

Aaronic priesthood quorums, my mission pres. and my "idiotic parents".

[KevinG]

Aaronic priesthood quorums, my mission pres. and my "idiotic parents".

Too bad they all failed to teach you properly. Although the parents do take primary responsibility for teaching us.

It is also too bad you called your parents "idiotic". Something I notably did not do myself.

I thought you were done here?

[Duncan]

Aaronic priesthood quorums, my mission pres. and my "idiotic parents".

where did you serve? just curious is all

[KevinG]

It is also worth noting that I was able to avail myself of information about church history without havnig to resort to the most virulent anti-mormon sources (akin to spiritual porn). Much of the controverial topics were quite well covered in conversations with friends, institute and sometimes Sunday School decades before the internet and Rough Stone Rolling.

[Jeff K.]

Parents do indeed take primary responsibility. I think sometimes we rely too much on the YM/YW/primary organizations to do our job for us.

[Senator]

Too bad they all failed to teach you properly. Although the parents do take primary responsibility for teaching us.

Ya, too bad

It is also too bad you called your parents "idiotic". Something I notably did not do myself.

YOU implied such parents are idiotic and dysfunctional, (that's why I put it in quotes) when all they were doing is following the council of the church.

I thought you were done here?

I am done. Good day

[Jeff K.]

They weren't following the counsel of the church. The church does not say keep our children hermetically sealed, it does want us to teach them though.

Again I turn to the parable of the talents. One develops the talents, one does not bury them.

[KevinG]

Dysfunctional is different than idiotic. I implied no such thing.

My own family has its own dysfunctions. LDS parents, all parents, need to address not avoid issues with children so that those children can adopt the positive values, culture and behaviors without being snared by those with agendas to destroy their faith.

[Jeff K.]

Kennedy's were dysfunctional but they weren't... oh....... ok a bad example.

[rodheadlee]

Why is "I lost Faith in Joseph Smith" even a reason? or a question? We're supposed to put our faith in Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. I never had faith in Joseph Smith, I'm thankful for the work he did to bring me the Book of Mormon, The Doctirne and Covenants and The Pearl of Great Price.