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I wanted to post this topic because its been bugging me for a number of years and perhaps a discussion of it will help me understand it. Over the years I try my best to visit the people who I home teach and I've been successful at least 90% of the time. I go to thier house or apartments and we have a mutually rewarding experience. I havent been home taught in my house or apartment for nearly 5 years. Being a single guy in my late 40's, It would be nice to have someone home teach me or at least knock on the door and see if I have died! (lol). I dont need anybody that will gossip to thier wife, or to other members, but I do expect them to report back to the leaders of the ward.

Instead I get my home teacher saying hi to me on the way out to my car after church and calling that home teaching. Really? LAME!

Are there any ideas on how to have a real home teacher? Because it would be nice to have someone act like they really care about home teaching and me.

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Are there any ideas on how to have a real home teacher? Because it would be nice to have someone act like they really care about home teaching and me.

You have some options: talk with him about what you would like for a visit; ask the EQ of HP leaders to work with him on improving the quality of his visits; ask them for a new home teacher. Perhaps in that order or preference.

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We have those problems in our ward. Home Teachers don't come that often and Visiting Teachers struggle as well. I am the VT coordinator and to be quite honest, I can't figure out how to make it work. We work really hard to make routes easy and friendly and to make companionships that have similar schedules as well as the people they visit, but even then it just doesn't happen half the time. I know personally I call to set up appointments and one sister is just too busy for me to visit her...so I just call or send a letter now. I wish there was a way to make it happen. I know our ward is focusing on HT and VT a lot right now and I know the sisters who don't do theirs at least have strong testimonies and are active at Church.

So obviously I have no answer.

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You have some options: talk with him about what you would like for a visit; ask the EQ of HP leaders to work with him on improving the quality of his visits; ask them for a new home teacher. Perhaps in that order or preference.

I did go to the bishop two weeks ago and mentioned that it would be nice to have a home teacher and put in a request that one come visit me. He agreed and said that everyone needed to have a home teacher. Last Sunday my Home Teacher, again said hi to me on the way out to the car. LAME!!!!

For this ward it probably doesn’t matter anyways because I am planning on moving to another town. For me, I find Home Teaching very rewarding. I like discussing gospel points to anyone - especially in a one on one environment in their home.

I don’t blame the ward one bit, it’s the individual members who shirk their duty that I am saddened by. But, on the bright side, I had a great home teacher in Pleasant Grove Utah. He was amazing and his discussions with me were incredibly spiritual. He was also a great friend as well. Perhaps I am lucky to have had one good one in the last 15 years.

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I love to go home teaching. I hate to be home taught.

Anyone else have that problem? I don't care if my home teacher ignores me each month and somehow counts that as home teaching. I'd be supportive of that, in fact, I might suggest it.

home teaching, it means something very significant to some people and doesn't mean a thing to others, it seems.

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I love to go home teaching. I hate to be home taught.

Anyone else have that problem? I don't care if my home teacher ignores me each month and somehow counts that as home teaching. I'd be supportive of that, in fact, I might suggest it.

home teaching, it means something very significant to some people and doesn't mean a thing to others, it seems.

I don't consider it a problem, because I have the same problem!

I do my home teaching, but could care less if they come visit me - which they haven't in several years while I was single.

Now that I am getting married. My new convert fiance has the best home teachers the ward has to offer (Temple president) and I enjoy the visits with her. Maybe it is just a single thing, but I look forward to my future family being blessed by the wisdom of this Temple president.

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I have been in my current ward for nearly 10 years now and I have been home taught maybe 15 times. 13 by the same Home Teacher (his companion was absent, every time!).

Being a reasonably active, meeting going Latter Day Saint with family and friends close enough by to help in any sort of emergency I wonder if it was all too necessary to have a faithful home teacher in my home. I may have less a need for it than others in some respects.

However, I have kids that were getting old enough that if we didn't have a consistent home teacher then they were going to end up leaving the house and making their way on their own without any idea what a faithful home teacher was, that it was important, and they NEED to be in your home. I emailed the EQP and laid out my points and asked him to assign a faithful home teacher to my family, even for a brief time, so my impressionable teen aged kids would understand.

4 months later, one of them showed up to teach my family.

Funny thing is, I home teach him and we rarely miss a month. You could almost feel the guilt.

I have resorted to bribery. We don't go to church until 1pm so I invite them over for a late breakfast with my family to make it easier to get them to my home. An emailed invitation to a home teacher to come eat/teach with us is hard to turn down.

Personally, I don't mind going home teaching. I home teach a new convert right now and it has been one of the most rewarding assignments ever! He is receptive, wants to learn, enjoys talking about the gospel, and we are all edified.

Advice - take the bull by the horns and get them to your home.

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My anecdotal theories on why home teaching seems to be so difficult:

- Most LDS members fall into two categories: those who do not need home teachers, and those who do not want home teachers.

- Active families and active members really do not need home teachers - this is a common talking point that has little real justification in my experience. Though we constantly are told otherwise, Home Teaching active recommend-holding members is really just a waste of both parties time. If reactivating a lackluster priesthood holder is your goal, there are better ways to do that than assigning him the bishop as his home teaching family.

- Most less active families/members simply do not want Home Teachers. It is an annoyance to them, however most people are polite enough to simply avoid possible Home Teching traps (by not answering the phone or door, giving excuses, pretending to be busy, etc.). These less actives know well enough that the Home Teaching visit is ultimately a 'check up' where they will be nicely invited back to church and indirectly reminded that they are slacking on their church duties. Nobody likes this.

- However, in every ward there are a few people; poor, ill, depressed, unemployed or otherwise struggling members. For these people Home and Visiting Teaching truly functions as it was intended - a real charity that encapsulates the mission of Christ to go forth and minister - and makes up for all the wasted effort on those who don't need/don't want home teachers.

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I have a great deal of anxiety teaching. It isn't rational. I don't really care about finding a "cure". I have a cultural tendency to want to be "left alone" and perhaps I project that onto others. I don't care if I'm home taught and actually prefer that I don't. Just like other things in the church, I just don't have a testimony of it. I appreciate those that do.

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Some people have a hard time coordinating with companions and rather than go alone, they keep waiting for it to work out. My husband tried and tried with his companion, but he doesn't call him back. He finally brought me with him.

I haven't had visiting teachers in my home for over a year, but now I have new ones and they're coming to visit me on Friday. :D I love both of them, so I'm excited.

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I have a great deal of anxiety teaching. It isn't rational. I don't really care about finding a "cure". I have a cultural tendency to want to be "left alone" and perhaps I project that onto others. I don't care if I'm home taught and actually prefer that I don't. Just like other things in the church, I just don't have a testimony of it. I appreciate those that do.

I think home teaching is great. Its a good way for members of the ward to get to know each other and take care of each other. Doing 100% home teaching just takes a lot of dedication. It is difficult to make the the time.

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How come some people don't do their family history?

How come some people aren't as active in attending the temple?

How come some people are better in service than others?

How come some people are better at fasting with a purpose.

Everyone isn't perfect. Everyone has certain strengths. Everyone has an area that is a weakness. Some people aren't as social or don't have a testimony that that particular aspect of the gospel is important.

There is the motivation that comes of true conversion. When there throbs in the heart of an individual Latter-day Saint a great and vital testimony of the truth of this work, he will be found doing his duty in the Church. He will be found in his sacrament meetings. He will be found in his priesthood meetings. He will be found paying his honest tithes and offerings. He will be doing his home teaching. He will be found in attendance at the temple as frequently as his circumstances will permit. He will have within him a great desire to share the gospel with others. He will be found strengthening and lifting his brethren and sisters. It is conversion that makes the difference. In all that we do we must cultivate faith. Increased faith is the touchstone to improved church performance.

(President Hinckley, News of the Church, Ensign, May 1984, 100)

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A lot of what I feel has been expressed. In the years when I desperately needed home teachers I never saw them and didn't know who they were. Now that I don't need them I get called every month and half the time just give them a quick update on the phone.

I have to agree with SilverKnight on all his points. I've always though I'd like to see assignments not for VT but to have a friend to check on every once in awhile, with no monthly lesson, but just someone you can call when you need help or just need to talk. I think it's kind of silly to have a monthly lesson you supposedly have already read and taught. I'd like to see friend's or sister's groups for people with similar interests or needs. VT assignments change all the time and one of my complaints is that how can you really know someone and care about them if you're changing every month, which is why I'd like to see people assigned to friendship groups which would allow sisters to really get to know each other and would last more than a couple of months and wouldn't be about meeting monthly quotas but about having someone to depend on and do things with.

People have a tendency to group with others anyway, based on needs and commonalities. Encourage this and assign those to friendship groups who may not make friends so easily.

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I have a testimony of home teaching, but I admit it is weak. Meaning, I believe it is the right thing to do, mostly because our leaders have expected us to do it.

However, being a very shy, introverted person, I struggle with home teaching frequently. I don't always like home teachers to come because I know full-well that 99% of the time, the home teachers come because of duty. Not that duty is a bad reason to perform a task in the Church, but that visiting me due to "duty" actually leaves me sad and depressed - I really wish the home teachers would come NOT for duty but because they really want to be a friend to me! I have had home teachers come faithfully, and I was led to believe that they actually wanted to be a friend - but when they were assigned other families to home teach and stopped coming, they rarely took an interest in me after that at Church (or other settings) - rarely spoke to me and rarely seemed to care - they only cared when they were my home teacher. As soon as they were NOT my home teacher, the "friendship" fizzled and died. I know that my introverted personality is mostly to blame for this - but still, it is a sign to me that home teaching is mostly about doing a duty rather than building a friendship. I realize that most people are OK with that - but I struggle with it. Since I admit that I do the same thing when I do my home teaching (do it mostly out of duty), I struggle with my own hypocrisy and consequently I frequently don't go home teaching.

I am really struggling with this, and just can't shake the idea that my home teachers are there out of duty and not really out of a genuine concern for me. This bothers me. I fear my home teaching families that I am assigned to visit will come to the same conclusion, so I often don't go home teaching myself.

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I have a testimony of home teaching, but I admit it is weak. Meaning, I believe it is the right thing to do, mostly because our leaders have expected us to do it.

However, being a very shy, introverted person, I struggle with home teaching frequently. I don't always like home teachers to come because I know full-well that 99% of the time, the home teachers come because of duty. Not that duty is a bad reason to perform a task in the Church, but that visiting me due to "duty" actually leaves me sad and depressed - I really wish the home teachers would come NOT for duty but because they really want to be a friend to me! I have had home teachers come faithfully, and I was led to believe that they actually wanted to be a friend - but when they were assigned other families to home teach and stopped coming, they rarely took an interest in me after that at Church (or other settings) - rarely spoke to me and rarely seemed to care - they only cared when they were my home teacher. As soon as they were NOT my home teacher, the "friendship" fizzled and died. I know that my introverted personality is mostly to blame for this - but still, it is a sign to me that home teaching is mostly about doing a duty rather than building a friendship. I realize that most people are OK with that - but I struggle with it. Since I admit that I do the same thing when I do my home teaching (do it mostly out of duty), I struggle with my own hypocrisy and consequently I frequently don't go home teaching.

I am really struggling with this, and just can't shake the idea that my home teachers are there out of duty and not really out of a genuine concern for me. This bothers me. I fear my home teaching families that I am assigned to visit will come to the same conclusion, so I often don't go home teaching myself.

I definitely wouldn't blame yourself for your home-teacher's failings.

I would love to teach you at your home because I also hate that it is "faked" for a short time etc... A genuine spirit in any occasion is a refreshing change.

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Well its nice to see everyone's perspective.

1) Being a convert, I dont have any family support. That would be in contrast to many of you 'lifers' out there.

2) Im single and wouldnt mind a bit of company once a month and a nice chat one on one regarding the gospel.

Im moving out of my ward anyways. So I guess Im gonna have to get serious with my next bishop and HPGL.

Thanks

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I wanted to post this topic because its been bugging me for a number of years and perhaps a discussion of it will help me understand it. Over the years I try my best to visit the people who I home teach and I've been successful at least 90% of the time. I go to thier house or apartments and we have a mutually rewarding experience. I havent been home taught in my house or apartment for nearly 5 years. Being a single guy in my late 40's, It would be nice to have someone home teach me or at least knock on the door and see if I have died! (lol). I dont need anybody that will gossip to thier wife, or to other members, but I do expect them to report back to the leaders of the ward.

Instead I get my home teacher saying hi to me on the way out to my car after church and calling that home teaching. Really? LAME!

Are there any ideas on how to have a real home teacher? Because it would be nice to have someone act like they really care about home teaching and me.

Some/most don't do their home-visiting teaching because they don't care about the people they are assigned to visit. Most of us find the prospect of visiting most of the rest of us BORING. This is a sad but not surprising fault of human nature: that we think others are mostly boring. If you were assigned to visit Robert Redford I bet you or anyone else would never miss a monthly visit or at least let "brother Redford" know you were trying to get together with him. Hypocrisy and vanity.

My father was a 100% home teacher. I was his companion throughout my junior and senior high school years. My brother and I were comps for a few years and seldom missed. For most of my adult life I've taken home teaching seriously and held 100% as the goal each month.

Seldom, during the more than 30 years I have lived in the same house, have my family been visited. Right now we are not even on the high priests' home teaching list; not even on the "no contact" list. I check it several times a year to see if we show up and we are still "missing". I brought this up to my wife a while ago: "We don't need a visit because we are there every Sunday. We don't have enough manpower to visit all the active families too", was her response. I thought if true, that is a lame excuse as well.

Now my wife and I are paired up; we call it "home-visiting teaching". It works. Because she makes all the appointments and I go along. If it was up to me, our percentage rate would plummet. In the year before our son left for his mission he was my comp. The appointment making was up to me. I didn't feel inclined (my father's disapproving shade notwithstanding), so we didn't go out together more than a few times. Frankly, the people bored me. They still do. Not that I find them intrinsically boring; it's more personal than that: I bore myself quite often. When I am not bored with myself, I find others interesting enough and my desire to converse grows accordingly. Call it a weakness....

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However, being a very shy, introverted person, I struggle with home teaching frequently. I don't always like home teachers to come because I know full-well that 99% of the time, the home teachers come because of duty. Not that duty is a bad reason to perform a task in the Church, but that visiting me due to "duty" actually leaves me sad and depressed - I really wish the home teachers would come NOT for duty but because they really want to be a friend to me! I have had home teachers come faithfully, and I was led to believe that they actually wanted to be a friend - but when they were assigned other families to home teach and stopped coming, they rarely took an interest in me after that at Church (or other settings) - rarely spoke to me and rarely seemed to care - they only cared when they were my home teacher. As soon as they were NOT my home teacher, the "friendship" fizzled and died. I know that my introverted personality is mostly to blame for this - but still, it is a sign to me that home teaching is mostly about doing a duty rather than building a friendship. I realize that most people are OK with that - but I struggle with it. Since I admit that I do the same thing when I do my home teaching (do it mostly out of duty), I struggle with my own hypocrisy and consequently I frequently don't go home teaching.

I agree. It's tough. Frankly, I do my HT more out of duty than anything else. But it's not that I don't love the people or dislike them, I'm just not a people person.

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I'm also a very introverted person. I would prefer that my HT not visit. Right now the EQP is my family's HT so I get a visit every month. ARGHHHH. I assume that others feel the same way I do and consequently feel very uncomfortable doing home teaching. I feel like I am inviting myself into somebody else's house when they don't want me there.

And I have never been very successful even when I did it 100%. Here's a pathetic example. I had a family that I visited every month that had six kids. They were active in church and everything seemed to be going well. Then one day my wife tells me that the father was in the hospital getting a liver transplant. I was shocked. I didn't even know he was ill. I guess I thought when I asked if everything was going well that the question was general enough to cover a serious medical condition. I realize a lot of the blame for not knowing what was going on lies with me, but the truth is I really don't know what I should have done differently.

My experience has been that one out of ten families or less really wants you to be there. I guess that means that if I don't do my home teaching that really I'm at 90%. ;)

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To put my hat of understanding on, there was a time in my life where I thought Home Teachers visiting me were a pain. I thought their message was uninspired, robotic, and rushed. Everything I said ended up in the ward gossip machine too. Really good home teachers don’t gossip with their wives and realize that when they do, they lose the trusted connection with the people they home teach. Therefore, a home teacher has to be on the same level of trust as a good friend. The only way that will happen is over time and with experience. Good home teachers learn not to judge, and they learn to put themselves into the shoes of the people they home teach. I suppose there are some home teachers that realize they don’t have this connection of trust, blab to their wives, and don’t want to try for fear that they may start the cycle of mistrust so they simply avoid home teaching or say 'hi' in the hallway. Perhaps, we as members, at least in some cases, but not all, don’t have the maturity to handle an actual Home Teaching visit with emphasis on the word HOME and TEACH. Maybe some Home Teachers feel invaded when they get home teachers and therefore they feel they are invading the people they Home Teach. Perhaps a change of perception could change their view on doing it. Personally, the best gospel conversations I've had that have lead to great discovery of new truths have been with a really good Home Teacher. I will also say some of the worst experiences I have had with another person that has lead to mistrust have also been with Home Teachers. I guess that can be said with a lot of things. So should we not at least try so that we can learn to avoid those pitfalls? After all, we are a ward family, with brothers and sisters that we should care about. These aren’t non-members who have no idea what the spirit feels like. These are members who, for the most part, want to follow the Lord. Once trust is earned, you and the Lord can make a difference.

A few years ago I was trying to get serious about Home Teaching. I was faithfully visiting one young, poor married couple in the ward. They lived in a very humble rental house. And while I tried and tried to get to the level of trust of a friend, I knew they were very cautious. My lessons were inspired, but I never got anything back from them as far as an understanding of trust. But I kept visiting and trying anyways. I admit, they were on my mind almost daily, as I was trying to figure out how I could earn their trust. One day I felt inspired to drop in on them. When I drove by, they were packing their car with what meager possessions they had. They said they were moving to another town to find work. I could tell by the look in his eye that he was trying to hold back his fear for his family and not being able to sustain them - he not only had no job, had no money, but was trying to start over without either. With just a look, I understood him. They were nearly packed, and ready to leave. I said, "Have you ever met my wife?" They said no. I said, "Would you mind following me back to my place, I would like her to meet you and your wife". So, they followed me home. I quickly got out of the car, explained to my wife that this family needed some of our Home Food Storage, she felt the spirit, and we filled every space in that car with as much food from our home storage as we could. While filling it up, the father looked a little uncomfortable taking the food. I said, "Thank you so much for helping us rotate our food storage .... In a few months we would have had to throw it out!" He smiled, and that wonderful spirit of understanding came between us, man to man.

Ezra Taft Benson

“Home teaching is not to be undertaken casually. A home teaching call is to be accepted as if extended to you personally by the Lord Jesus Christ. …

“Know well those you are to home teach. …

“Above all, be a genuine friend to the individuals and families you teach. … A friend makes more than a dutiful visit each month. A friend is more concerned about helping people than getting credit. A friend cares. A friend loves. A friend listens, and a friend reaches out. …

“Do not settle for mediocrity in this great priesthood program of home teaching. Be an excellent home teacher in every facet of the work. Be a real shepherd of your flock.”

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I love to go home teaching. I hate to be home taught.

Anyone else have that problem? I don't care if my home teacher ignores me each month and somehow counts that as home teaching. I'd be supportive of that, in fact, I might suggest it.

Amen brother! Of course, I am a sister and so I don't have the assignment of home teaching, but I am a faithful visiting teacher. The reason that I couldn't care less about being home taught though is that I have an amazing husband, and a wonderful support system here. I have a brother nearby, a wonderful father and even more wonderful father-in-law nearby and three able bodied sons. Plus, lots of great neighbors who would help me out in a split second if I needed help. I'm lucky though. For people who don't have a built in support system nearby, faithful home teachers can be a priceless commodity! I have to say though, I don't like NOSY home teachers. I had one of those once, and he seriously bugged the heck out of me in spite of the fact that he was a faithful LDS man who was just trying to do what the manual instructed him to do. While I appreciated his valiant spirit, I don't like people I barely know sticking their noses in to our family business.

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I wanted to post this topic because its been bugging me for a number of years and perhaps a discussion of it will help me understand it. Over the years I try my best to visit the people who I home teach and I've been successful at least 90% of the time. I go to thier house or apartments and we have a mutually rewarding experience. I havent been home taught in my house or apartment for nearly 5 years. Being a single guy in my late 40's, It would be nice to have someone home teach me or at least knock on the door and see if I have died! (lol). I dont need anybody that will gossip to thier wife, or to other members, but I do expect them to report back to the leaders of the ward.

Instead I get my home teacher saying hi to me on the way out to my car after church and calling that home teaching. Really? LAME!

Are there any ideas on how to have a real home teacher? Because it would be nice to have someone act like they really care about home teaching and me.

Just ask your quorum leader to assign you to an active hometeacher.

Although, ask yourself why you really need a hometeacher. When a hometeacher comes to visit you, they are taking time from their own family. One of the reasons that hometeaching stats are often so low is because it takes time and effort beyond the time and effort that we are all putting into our jobs, families, other church meetings, etc.

So make sure you want something more than just companionship.

H.

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