Top Ten Reasons to be Excited . . .

[MorningStar]

Especially the lotion part.

You're just jealous! Foot rubs, head and neck massages, and a cozy fire. Flippin' sweet!

[bluebell]

Certainly worthy of ridicule and contempt.

Being ridiculted and held in contempt by some people is probably a sign that you're doing something right.

[BookofMormonLuvr]

Yeah. I saw what you wrote about it on the other board, playing to your audience.

Way classy.

***

Incidentally, in another place, where an identical thread was launched and where the participants are pretty happy to find yet another aspect of Mormonism to mock and deride, one of the specific targets is Elder Richard Scott, of the Quorum of the Twelve. They don't like the way he looks, they don't like the way he sounds, they don't like what he says. (They don't like lots of things.)

Anyway, I learned, not too terribly long ago, some interesting facts about Elder Scott's General Conference addresses: It seems that he pre-records them in Spanish and in Portuguese, out of a desire to have the Hispanic Saints hear his speeches in his own voice rather than in that of a translator. Part of his measured pace results from the fact that, as I understand it, he has an earpiece in his ear, to which he listens in order to make his English delivery approximate his Spanish/Portuguese delivery. He's evidently been doing this for years.

Certainly worthy of ridicule and contempt.

Elder Scott was and continues to be one of my favorite speakers at LDS GC. I get a feeling of genuine love from him I don't feel from the other LDS Apostles, quite frankly.

[mercyngrace]

Anyway, I learned, not too terribly long ago, some interesting facts about Elder Scott's General Conference addresses: It seems that he pre-records them in Spanish and in Portuguese, out of a desire to have the Hispanic Saints hear his speeches in his own voice rather than in that of a translator. Part of his measured pace results from the fact that, as I understand it, he has an earpiece in his ear, to which he listens in order to make his English delivery approximate his Spanish/Portuguese delivery. He's evidently been doing this for years.

Certainly worthy of ridicule and contempt.

That's awesome. I've translated some meetings in the past (stake mtgs) and it makes such a difference when the speaker is mindful of the translation.

I don't think that's the delivery for which Elder Scott is being singled out. He often gives a pleading invitation to those who've left the church or who are struggling/straying that is very recognizable. In the same way President Monson will mention widows and Germany (or Canada), all the regular speakers' life experiences, personalities, and individual concerns come through in their discourses. In Elder Scott's case, he seems to have a personal mission that can be summed up in two words, "Come back."

Whether you find the emotional cadence of his plea endearing or annoying, there's no doubt it is sincere and reflects well the message of the atonement. As someone who believes the entirety of the gospel is about reclaiming lost sheep, I appreciate Elder Scott's impassioned entreaties.

[erichard]

Would you get back to me when any of them actually prophesy, see or reveal?

I don't think it's fair to make me answer that question until then.

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

Hi,

You should consider having old conference reports available to chew on while the TV is going.

For instance, this one:

October 8, 1854 General Conference talk by President Brigham Young

Richard

[Deborah]

Elder Scott was and continues to be one of my favorite speakers at LDS GC. I get a feeling of genuine love from him I don't feel from the other LDS Apostles, quite frankly.

Ditto. He's just so sweet and though he speaks kind of monotone his message is always great.

[zerinus]

Having been a Mormon for over thirty years, I am frankly having trouble coming up with even one reason.

I was hoping maybe somebody could help me out with this list.

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

There is no list. If you are looking for a list, you are looking for the wrong thing. If you don't enjoy listening to General Conference, or feel you you don't get anything spiritual out of it, then there is something wrong somewhere, and you need to find out what that is and put it right. Not all the talks at General Conference are always inspired or inspirational, but most of them are; and if you don't perceive that, there is something wrong somewhere. In Section 50 of the Doctrine and Covenants the Lord gave the following counsel to Church members:

17 Verily I say unto you, he that is ordained of me and sent forth to preach the word of truth by the Comforter, in the Spirit of truth, doth he preach it by the Spirit of truth or some other way?

18 And if it be by some other way it is not of God.

19 And again, he that receiveth the word of truth, doth he receive it by the Spirit of truth or some other way?

20 If it be some other way it is not of God.

21 Therefore, why is it that ye cannot understand and know, that he that receiveth the word by the Spirit of truth receiveth it as it is preached by the Spirit of truth?

22 Wherefore, he that preacheth and he that receiveth,

understand one another,

and both are edified and

rejoice together

.

23 And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness.

Note that both the speaker as well as the hearer need to have that Spirit for that edification and "understanding" to take place, otherwise it won't happen. The question you want to ask yourself is, why are there so many Latter-day saints who are as intelligent as you are (if not more so!), who don't feel the same way about General Conference as you do? Do you think there is likely to be something wrong with them, or with you?

[WalkerW]

I am temporarily suspending my vow to refrain from message board posting in order to unburden myself of the strong feelings evoked by this thread.

In a manner more like a lament than a rejoicing of the soul, consiglieri expresses his anticipation of disappointment in the upcoming 181^st Annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

With no intent whatsoever to find fault in another, I would like to give some reasons for which I personally look forward to general conference (in no particular order):

[*]Building a nice warm fire in the stove to create a comforting ambience, and keep the family toasty warm during sessions.

`[*]Making and eating our traditional

[WalkerW]

Yeah. I saw what you wrote about it on the other board, playing to your audience.

Way classy.

***

Incidentally, in another place, where an identical thread was launched and where the participants are pretty happy to find yet another aspect of Mormonism to mock and deride, one of the specific targets is Elder Richard Scott, of the Quorum of the Twelve. They don't like the way he looks, they don't like the way he sounds, they don't like what he says. (They don't like lots of things.)

Anyway, I learned, not too terribly long ago, some interesting facts about Elder Scott's General Conference addresses: It seems that he pre-records them in Spanish and in Portuguese, out of a desire to have the Hispanic Saints hear his speeches in his own voice rather than in that of a translator. Part of his measured pace results from the fact that, as I understand it, he has an earpiece in his ear, to which he listens in order to make his English delivery approximate his Spanish/Portuguese delivery. He's evidently been doing this for years.

Certainly worthy of ridicule and contempt.

Thanks for posting this. While I've never spoken badly of Elder Scott, I have noted that I prefer to read his talks due to his speaking style (for the record, I absolutely loved "The Transforming Power of Faith and Character." It found its way into my interfaith dialogue a few months ago).

[WalkerW]

I'm dead serious! I have a blog dedicated to what I call the Holland Trinity.

I now say to non-members who want informative, quasi-academic, authoritative talks on God, revelation, and the Book of Mormon, see these three by Holland.

EDIT: And I just realized that the majority of the videos don't work anymore. How sad. I'll have to fix that later.

[mfbukowski]

I'm dead serious! I have a blog dedicated to what I call the Holland Trinity.

I now say to non-members who want informative, quasi-academic, authoritative talks on God, revelation, and the Book of Mormon, see these three by Holland.

EDIT: And I just realized that the majority of the videos don't work anymore. How sad. I'll have to fix that later.

I was laughing because I knew exactly what you meant- it was great calling them "smackdowns"! I love those too!

[zerinus]

Would you get back to me when any of them actually prophesy, see or reveal?

I don't think it's fair to make me answer that question until then.

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

What if they do "prophesy, see and reveal," but you are too spiritually blind to see it.

[WalkerW]

Would you get back to me when any of them actually prophesy, see or reveal?

I don't think it's fair to make me answer that question until then.

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

I'm more inclined to think most of the revelation is administrative and pertains to running a global church.

[WalkerW]

I was laughing because I knew exactly what you meant- it was great calling them "smackdowns"! I love those too!

I could feel the verbal backhand when he said, "None of these frankly pathetic answers..."

Jeffrey "the Bull Dog" Holland. I love the man.

[mfbukowski]

I could feel the verbal backhand when he said, "None of these frankly pathetic answers..."

Jeffrey "the Bull Dog" Holland. I love the man.

[Mudcat]

I was hoping maybe somebody could help me out with this list.

I'm suspending disbelief in the CoJCoLDS for the duration of this post.... but have only come up with 1 instead of 10.

1. A fresh word from the Lord will be spoken to his people.

[Daniel Peterson]

I'm suspending disbelief in the CoJCoLDS for the duration of this post.... but have only come up with 1 instead of 10.

1. A fresh word from the Lord will be spoken to his people.

That ought to be enough, I should think.

[bookofmormontruth]

Would you get back to me when any of them actually prophesy, see or reveal?

I don't think it's fair to make me answer that question until then.

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

Not surprised by your answer.

Maybe you can take more time to come up with a wittier answer in the real interview. Good luck with that.

[why me]

Having been a Mormon for over thirty years, I am frankly having trouble coming up with even one reason.

I was hoping maybe somebody could help me out with this list.

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

Lets look at it this way: it gives the lds community the opportunity to come together as a body of Christ. Twice a year this event occurs. And it gives the lds community and opportunity to listen to selected leaders speak on issues that they consider to be important for the church body at this time. But the event itself is a communal act of togetherness for the church worldwide. And that can be exciting.

Now of course, if you are looking for Thomas S. Monson's voice to take on the voice of Joseph Smith or the angel Moroni to appear at the podium, you may be a little disappointed.

[why me]

Would you get back to me when any of them actually prophesy, see or reveal?

I don't think it's fair to make me answer that question until then.

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

I think my friend that you are missing the point. Let me put it this way: the saints have been warned about pornography. The GAs were right on about that one as some saints who have become addicted have now found out. The saints were warned to limit their debts because bad times were coming. The GAs were right on with that one. Also, with food storage, with all the increase in food prices and the tragedies that have inflicted Japan and other places, the GAs were right on with that one too. By listening to the GAs many mormons were able to avoid many of the troubles and problems that are inflicting the world at this moment.

However, if one is looking for Joseph Smith to appear on the podium and give a greeting well, they may be disappointed. Or fire and brimstone will rein down on the world when Thomas S. Monson calls to the heavens to do so, well, they may be disappointed too. I suppose it all depends just what a person is looking for.

[BCSpace]

I have my fingers crossed that this is the year for an Apostle of FP Member to ever-so-gently imply that it might, on occasion, be OK to treat the Flood and Creation stories in Genesis as figurative accounts that could be a wee bit allegorical in nature.

Check this out:

The role of woman was fixed even before she was created, and God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. It is written:

[Jeff K.]

I think my friend that you are missing the point. Let me put it this way: the saints have been warned about pornography. The GAs were right on about that one as some saints who have become addicted have now found out. The saints were warned to limit their debts because bad times were coming. The GAs were right on with that one. Also, with food storage, with all the increase in food prices and the tragedies that have inflicted Japan and other places, the GAs were right on with that one too. By listening to the GAs many mormons were able to avoid many of the troubles and problems that are inflicting the world at this moment.

However, if one is looking for Joseph Smith to appear on the podium and give a greeting well, they may be disappointed. Or fire and brimstone will rein down on the world when Thomas S. Monson calls to the heavens to do so, well, they may be disappointed too. I suppose it all depends just what a person is looking for.

Sometimes revelations occur, but we realize it only in hindsight....

See President Kimball's quote at the bottom of my post.....

[William Schryver]

I saw what you wrote about it on the other board, playing to your audience.

Way classy.

And what an audience it is!

The Great and Spacious Trailer Park--where no faithful Mormon man is immune to allegations of incestuous pedophilia, the apostate's favorite gambit (just ask Hugh Nibley).

<sigh>

Actually, the most disturbing aspect of this most recent display of apostate degeneracy is that it reveals an underlying discomfort with appropriate expressions of familial love. If you ask me, that's tragic, and reveals the extent to which our overly sexualized society has all but destroyed our capacity to view physical contact in anything other than a sexualized context.

When my oldest daughter was 18 months old, she contracted viral meningitis, the effects of which produced a protracted fever of 106 degrees, which caused her to go into uncontrolled seizures. My wife and I stood at the doorway of a room in the E/R of the old Primary Children's Hospital and watched her little body convulse as a team of doctors and nurses attempted to bring down the fever and stop the seizures. Moments later, a social worker from the hospital took us into a private room and began a conversation designed to prepare us for the imminent death of our child. The fever and seizures were eventually controlled, but the doctors told us that there it was all but certain that she had suffered severe brain damage, and would probably never speak or walk again.

Well, to make a long story short, our little girl lay in a coma for several days, during which time my wife and I would take turns stroking her hair, massaging her little head, and hoping against hope that all would be well. Finally, her eyes opened and she asked for a cookie. She is now 26 years old, with no apparent ill-effects of this trauma of her infancy.

Throughout her childhood (and, subsequently, that of her siblings) we returned to this soothing practice of gently massaging our children's heads. On many occasions I was able to console (and quickly put to sleep) a colicky child through this simple practice. Consequently, head massages (and eventually foot massages, which are equally comforting) became our children's most desired comfort measures. Somehow, these things developed into a tradition during general conference sessions, as I described in my post above.

Suffice it to say that nothing could be more pure and wholesome and loving than watching my wife wash her children's feet and then gently massage away their tension and cares. How unfortunate that such appropriate touching (which studies have proven to be extraordinarily therapeutic) should be viewed with suspicion and met with innuendo of sexual perversion.

It's a messed up world in which we live. I am grateful for things like the Temple and General Conference, where one can, at least temporarily, find a save haven from the storms of depravity that rage around us.

Alas, this latest episode underscores the reasons for which I have resolved to stay away from these message boards. There is nothing one can say that cannot be twisted, misrepresented, or distorted in some way; no good that cannot be characterized as evil; no caricature so grotesque that it cannot be hailed as realistic portraiture.

I am confident that truth and the righteousness of the Saints will ultimately prevail over falsehood and the wickedness of our enemies. In the meantime I will count myself blessed to have my own furrowed brow soothed by the words, music, and spirit of our semi-annual general conferences.

[volgadon]

Do you obey the Word of Wisdom?

Do you obey the Law of Chastity?

Fess up, consiglieri!

Yes, fess up. We don't want to waste good matches for nothing.

Yours sincerely, the grand inquisitor.

[bookofmormontruth]

And what an audience it is!

The Great and Spacious Trailer Park--where no faithful Mormon man is immune to allegations of incestuous pedophilia, the apostate's favorite gambit (just ask Hugh Nibley).

<sigh>

Actually, the most disturbing aspect of this most recent display of apostate degeneracy is that it reveals an underlying discomfort with appropriate expressions of familial love. If you ask me, that's tragic, and reveals the extent to which our overly sexualized society has all but destroyed our capacity to view physical contact in anything other than a sexualized context.

When my oldest daughter was 18 months old, she contracted viral meningitis, the effects of which produced a protracted fever of 106 degrees, which caused her to go into uncontrolled seizures. My wife and I stood at the doorway of a room in the E/R of the old Primary Children's Hospital and watched her little body convulse as a team of doctors and nurses attempted to bring down the fever and stop the seizures. Moments later, a social worker from the hospital took us into a private room and began a conversation designed to prepare us for the imminent death of our child. The fever and seizures were eventually controlled, but the doctors told us that there it was all but certain that she had suffered severe brain damage, and would probably never speak or walk again.

Well, to make a long story short, our little girl lay in a coma for several days, during which time my wife and I would take turns stroking her hair, massaging her little head, and hoping against hope that all would be well. Finally, her eyes opened and she asked for a cookie. She is now 26 years old, with no apparent ill-effects of this trauma of her infancy.

Throughout her childhood (and, subsequently, that of her siblings) we returned to this soothing practice of gently massaging our children's heads. On many occasions I was able to console (and quickly put to sleep) a colicky child through this simple practice. Consequently, head massages (and eventually foot massages, which are equally comforting) became our children's most desired comfort measures. Somehow, these things developed into a tradition during general conference sessions, as I described in my post above.

Suffice it to say that nothing could be more pure and wholesome and loving than watching my wife wash her children's feet and then gently massage away their tension and cares. How unfortunate that such appropriate touching (which studies have proven to be extraordinarily therapeutic) should be viewed with suspicion and met with innuendo of sexual perversion.

It's a messed up world in which we live. I am grateful for things like the Temple and General Conference, where one can, at least temporarily, find a save haven from the storms of depravity that rage around us.

Alas, this latest episode underscores the reasons for which I have resolved to stay away from these message boards. There is nothing one can say that cannot be twisted, misrepresented, or distorted in some way; no good that cannot be characterized as evil; no caricature so grotesque that it cannot be hailed as realistic portraiture.

I am confident that truth and the righteousness of the Saints will ultimately prevail over falsehood and the wickedness of our enemies. In the meantime I will count myself blessed to have my own furrowed brow soothed by the words, music, and spirit of our semi-annual general conferences.

No pseudo-Mormon would be brave enough to make that accusation to your face. You see, they have to do it behind a computer as a complete coward.

Let them that mock have their "internet glory" - so impressive of a glory!