Joining the Church against Family Wishes

[consiglieri]

A high school senior bore her testimony in sacrament meeting Sunday. I had not seen her before, and she said how she had recently been baptized in spite of the fact that her father is active in a local evangelical church, and she actually had to sneak out of the house to come to church.

(The local evangelical church is very popular and is the one where I went to a Christmas eve service last year.)

She said she couldn't remember how many retreats and youth activities she had been to at this local evangelical church, but she never felt the Spirit until she found the LDS Church.

As an interesting counterpoint, the ward music conductor bore her testimony at the end of the meeting, saying it is her sister and brother-in-law who started up this particular evangelical church some years ago, and that she is frequently invited to activities and sometimes goes.

Her next words were poignant, I thought.

"They have a band and are very accomplished in their music, and their choir is wonderful. In our ward, we have only a piano and an organ. The accompanist doesn't always follow my lead. And we don't always even sing the same verse. But this is where the Spirit is."

I was touched by these companion testimonies and was wondering what others here might think, including whether anybody has overcome such familial resistance to switching religions.

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

[thesometimesaint]

Yes.

[Fifth Columnist]

I was touched by these companion testimonies and was wondering what others here might think, including whether anybody has overcome such familial resistance to switching religions.

Definitely. I am going through that right now as I lose my faith in Mormonism. It was touch and go, but I don't think my wife will divorce me.

[Duncan]

I knew a guy years ago from Japan who was kicked out of his house for joining the Church. He served a mission to Kobe, Japan and his dad told him of all the places he could have gone Kobe was where the dad was secretly wanting him to go to and I think because of that assignment the family warmed up to it and I don't know the ending but I assume things have been good.

[blueadept]

A worse case scenario for a student that's in my 6th grade CCD RCC class.

His mother is a fellow CCD teacher who teaches the four year olds. Born a Catholic and converted to the LDS faith when she married. After having two kids, she returned to her Catholic faith and the marriage is headed for divorce. The 12 y.o. that's in my class has been baptised in the LDS faith at age 8. One week he goes to church with his mom and the next week he goes with his dad. The poor kid is trying to figure out which faith he wants to follow. The only advantage I have is that I can correct common misconceptions that LDS may have in regards to the Catholic faith and I have a good understanding of what he already knows.

I would not want to be in his shoes for sure.

[kolipoki09]

I was touched by these companion testimonies and was wondering what others here might think, including whether anybody has overcome such familial resistance to switching religions.

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

It could be said (not to be cynical) that many former Latter-day Saints who have gone on to join other faiths have had similar experiences in their conversions to their respective faiths. I cannot account for anyone here, but am aware of at least one person who had their name removed from the records of the Church two months after being baptized and appears to be happy nearly four years after the fact. She is still friendly toward most ward members, and they toward her.

My mother's conversion to Mormonism was socially and emotionally difficult. At the time she had a position in a Lutheran Sunday School -- when The God Makers was being played on a consistent basis in the numerous Protestant churches in our town. Her family has never warmed-up to her faith, and as a result, I haven't seen my maternal grandparents in 17 years (other issues contributed to that as well). I wrote my maternal grandfather as a missionary and he enthusiastically responded. My wife and I plan on making a trip to see him soon, which may help a bit in mending broken fences.

I think any time a family member goes against social, ethical, or theological norms, we want to resist that change. Lest we fall into the idea that this opposition is evidence of the truthfulness of our beliefs (as I've seen claimed on this board), I am convinced (as Joseph Smith himself believed) that a person can be good whether they're in the Church or out of it. I cannot deny the benevolence of God being operative in the lives of all of His children.

[SkepticTheist]

I have mixed feelings about this. I don't know if it is right to baptize somebody against the wishes of their parents that is a minor, or even when they are still under their parents' roof. On my mission, I had a similar issue, where there was a girl that was 18, but still living at home. Her parents forbade us to baptize her and her brother who was about 14, even though they were going to church with us. We baptized the girl anyway without the knowledge of the parents, but did not baptize the boy because he was a minor, and we felt that was going too far. We felt justified at the time since the girl was an adult and not a minor, even though she was still living at home. The boy, on the other hand, continued to go to church with his sister, and hopefully got baptized eventually. i don't know what ever happened to them. But I doubt that the secret could be kept forever. And then when the parents did find out, no doubt they would have been very offended. I'm not sure what the right thing was to do, but I did my best at the time. I probably should have asked the mission president's opinion, but I didn't. Thinking back, I wonder whether in that country whether when someone is under the roof of the parents still, that they are still under their parents' rule. It was a difficult thing. I really don't know whether it was right or wrong, and still wonder to this day.

A high school senior bore her testimony in sacrament meeting Sunday. I had not seen her before, and she said how she had recently been baptized in spite of the fact that her father is active in a local evangelical church, and she actually had to sneak out of the house to come to church.

(The local evangelical church is very popular and is the one where I went to a Christmas eve service last year.)

She said she couldn't remember how many retreats and youth activities she had been to at this local evangelical church, but she never felt the Spirit until she found the LDS Church.

As an interesting counterpoint, the ward music conductor bore her testimony at the end of the meeting, saying it is her sister and brother-in-law who started up this particular evangelical church some years ago, and that she is frequently invited to activities and sometimes goes.

Her next words were poignant, I thought.

"They have a band and are very accomplished in their music, and their choir is wonderful. In our ward, we have only a piano and an organ. The accompanist doesn't always follow my lead. And we don't always even sing the same verse. But this is where the Spirit is."

I was touched by these companion testimonies and was wondering what others here might think, including whether anybody has overcome such familial resistance to switching religions.

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

[BookofMormonLuvr]

I have felt the Spirit in the LDS Church, a Seventh-Day Adventist Church, a non-Denominational church (even while the worship band was playing), a Messianic Congregation, listening to online sermons from Protestant pastors, watching TBN, etc...

If we do not feel the Spirit when Jesus is being spoken about, praised, or worshipped, the issue is most likely with us, not the particular church we are standing in...

Moroni 7:16

For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.

[consiglieri]

The subject of this girl's being baptized without the knowledge of her parents came up last month in a missionary preparation meeting Sunday evening in which I was involved.

A young man who was attending mentioned it and asked what should be done.

Both I and the other gentleman teaching the class were clear that she should not be baptized without at least the knowledge of her parents.

I said I know it will be hard for her to tell her parents, but imagine how bad it will be for her to not tell them and for them to find out after the fact (which they most surely will).

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

[David T]

I was baptized while in college, and told my parents (my dad's a Pentecostal minister) after the fact. Did not go over well. Still not going over well.

[Garden Girl]

I love to hear convert stories, not because of someone leaving their former faith, but because of them finding what I have a testimony of as being the restored gospel. I too feel there is much good in other faiths, and wonderful Christian brothers and sisters... I like what Neal Maxwell used to say about "bring with you all the good you have and let us add to it."

When I was a student at BYU, the boys from Helaman Halls used to eat in our cafeteria. My girlfriends and I became acquainted with a boy who was a convert from Judaism... against the wishes of his very observant family. He was an RM, totally on his own because his family had disowned him and actually treated him as dead. It was terribly difficult for him... he married one of my girlfriends and they had 5 children. I've lost track of them now, but I hope that with the birth of the children his Jewish parents somehow could come to terms with his faith and enjoy their grandchildren. The children were beautiful.

I know it's difficult for families... it works the other way also... I married my dear husband against the will of my parents and became inactive. It took them a long time to accept him, but I was fortunate because they came to love him very much, and no matter how much my mom hurt, she put it aside and embraced our marriage. In fact, as the years went by, she used to tell me that she had no worries about me, that she knew I was in a good place with my dh. My only regret is that it took her death to send me back to where I knew I should be... but I'm counting that she knows now that her prayers were not in vain... and that her wayward daughter is TBM and loving it.

from the beach on a beautiful early spring day... Bob-cat sitting on the desk here, looking out the window as the birds are flying all around...

GG

edit to add: Why is it cats make that little chattering sound with their mouths when they watch birds... it seems they all do it... anyway, with so many birds, I'm going out and hang bits of string and yarn in the trees for them to gather for their nests.

[BCSpace]

Brings up a question in my mind of how valuable a family relationship is to God if said family is not LDS? Matthew 10:34-39 seems to indicate not very. I don't think we should intentionally go out to break up a family, but as a Church, are we perhaps too sensitive when it comes to conversion strife in families or are we just right? What do you think?

[CV75]

I was touched by these companion testimonies and was wondering what others here might think, including whether anybody has overcome such familial resistance to switching religions.

My wife and I both faced it when we joined the Church as young adults, a few years before we met. Speaking for myself, the little church-going experience I had in my youth gave me no understanding of or expectation for the workings of the Spirit, but I did recognize the Spirit when the time came. My wife was a strong Catholic, and felt the unique Spirit while attending a temple open house, which prompted her to investigate the Church. I would say in each case, the humble settings for receiving our eventual testimonies that resulted in actually joining the Church were like a simple piano in comparison with an orchestra.

[Pahoran]

Definitely. I am going through that right now as I lose my faith in Mormonism. It was touch and go, but I don't think my wife will divorce me.

Of course she won't; unless you are so obnoxious about it that you make yourself impossible to live with.

Regards,

Pahoran

[blueadept]

Of course she won't; unless you are so obnoxious about it that you make yourself impossible to live with.

Regards,

Pahoran

I would be curious to see some data that reflects your point of view. My personal observations and discussions with the non-LDS portion of LDS families tends to show otherwise.

[Walden]

Definitely. I am going through that right now as I lose my faith in Mormonism. It was touch and go, but I don't think my wife will divorce me.

Not to hijack the thread, but I went through the same thing when I left the church. My parents, both very devout believers, had a very difficult time with my decision, as they had raised me in the LDS church since my birth. When I left at 25 years old, it caused them much grief and there is still a rift in our relationship to this day. I am treated differently (worse) then my believing siblings, but I have to tell you, as difficult as it was and despite the strained relationship with my LDS family, it was worth it, for me.

[LDS Guy 1986]

A high school senior bore her testimony in sacrament meeting Sunday. I had not seen her before, and she said how she had recently been baptized in spite of the fact that her father is active in a local evangelical church, and she actually had to sneak out of the house to come to church.

(The local evangelical church is very popular and is the one where I went to a Christmas eve service last year.)

She said she couldn't remember how many retreats and youth activities she had been to at this local evangelical church, but she never felt the Spirit until she found the LDS Church.

As an interesting counterpoint, the ward music conductor bore her testimony at the end of the meeting, saying it is her sister and brother-in-law who started up this particular evangelical church some years ago, and that she is frequently invited to activities and sometimes goes.

Her next words were poignant, I thought.

"They have a band and are very accomplished in their music, and their choir is wonderful. In our ward, we have only a piano and an organ. The accompanist doesn't always follow my lead. And we don't always even sing the same verse. But this is where the Spirit is."

I was touched by these companion testimonies and was wondering what others here might think, including whether anybody has overcome such familial resistance to switching religions.

All the Best!

--Consiglieri

yes, that was the hardest part of my conversion, my father is not happy with me decision to join the Church.

[thesometimesaint]

I am the only member of the Church in the family of my birth.

[consiglieri]

I am the only member of the Church in the family of my birth.

Ditto.

[Pahoran]

I would be curious to see some data that reflects your point of view. My personal observations and discussions with the non-LDS portion of LDS families tends to show otherwise.

My personal observations and discussions with the faithful portion of apostate families tends to show exactly what I've described. Latter-day Saints don't contemplate divorce just because their spouses want to stop going to Church; but they may find the unrelenting anti-Mormon harangues beloved of some difficult to live with.

Just one example: Richard Baer is an apostate and anti-Mormon who perpetuates the meme that "the Mormon Church breaks up families." When his father died, his siblings invited him to participate in the funeral service, including being a pallbearer. His response was to tell his grieving "loved" ones that he could not lower himself to act as a pallbearer for someone who was burning in hell for the sin of believing in Mormonism.

That's how "the Mormon Church breaks up families" in real life.

Regards,

Pahoran

[Senator]

Brings up a question in my mind of how valuable a family relationship is to God if said family is not LDS? Matthew 10:34-39 seems to indicate not very. I don't think we should intentionally go out to break up a family, but as a Church, are we perhaps too sensitive when it comes to conversion strife in families or are we just right? What do you think?

I think you should seriously consider turning down any call to serve in a missionary capacity!

[kolipoki09]

Just one example: Richard Baer is an apostate and anti-Mormon who perpetuates the meme that "the Mormon Church breaks up families." When his father died, his siblings invited him to participate in the funeral service, including being a pallbearer. His response was to tell his grieving "loved" ones that he could not lower himself to act as a pallbearer for someone who was burning in hell for the sin of believing in Mormonism.

That's how "the Mormon Church breaks up families" in real life.

Regards,

Pahoran

I always thought Richard was a man who lived up to his name in word and deed.

[LDS Guy 1986]

If we do not feel the Spirit when Jesus is being spoken about, praised, or worshipped, the issue is most likely with us, not the particular church we are standing in...

I would disagree a bit here, the Spirit cannot tarry when false teachings are being presented least the spirit becomes a liar by making us believe that teachings such as the trinity and God is only an invisible spirit are true.

I know that your can feel the spirit at times in other churches (I have felt it myself especially as a child), but not like you can feel when the truth of the Restored Gospel is being taught, the Spirit quickly comes and tarries much longer when the Fullness of the Gospel is being taught IMO.

[LDS Guy 1986]

I think you should seriously consider turning down any call to serve in a missionary capacity!

This is a highly inappropriate comment and a personal attack!

Board nanny derailments can result in your removal from the thread.

[todd520]

I am the only member of the Church in the family of my birth.

Same here, and my sister practically disowned me when she found out I was investigating.

My parents had already passed on so I never had a battle with them