Feeling lonely isolated

[SteelMagnoliainTexas]

Does anyone else who is widowed divorced feel this way?  Not too long ago I had a baby on my hip a toddler I was homeschooling had a husband too.  I sacrificed for them I stayed home when other women had to have their careers.  I had no social life.  Not really any friends.  Back then we were in the home church movement.  Women in general gripe because I might show up at their prayer meeting and actually pray.  Or if I happen to be attracted to a man at least one woman will show up and to try and entice him or a man will run over and tell him something horrible.  Just anything negative.  What do you do?

[SteelMagnoliainTexas]

Does anyone else who is widowed divorced feel this way?  Not too long ago I had a baby on my hip a toddler I was homeschooling had a husband too.  I sacrificed for them I stayed home when other women had to have their careers.  I had no social life.  Not really any friends.  Back then we were in the home church movement.  Women in general gripe because I might show up at their prayer meeting and actually pray.  Or if I happen to be attracted to a man at least one woman will show up and to try and entice him or a man will run over and tell him something horrible.  Just anything negative.  What do you do?

[manol]

I don't know that any of this will be of any use to you in dealing with loneliness, so consider these to be just random ramblings...

There are belief systems which maintain that separation is an illusion, and I think there is something valid to that idea.  People who have had near-death experiences sometimes report that.  Here is one of them, this clip is only about two and a half minutes long:

Rob Gentile on Shaman Oaks Podcast, “Loneliness is just an illusion…” - YouTube

A book I really like that is about a simple and practical way to transcend being physical separated from those we love is "Kything:  The Art of Spiritual Presence", by Louis Savary and Patricia Berne.  You'll have it down pat in the first ten or fifteen pages.

Music helps me to work through, and/or shift, the energy that I'm experiencing.  One song that "does it" for me is "Bron-y-aur Stomp", by Led Zeppelin.  Robert Plant is singing about a dog he owned:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_TJNLpHOTU

Which brings me to my fourth suggestion:  If you don't already have a dog or a cat, you might consider getting one.  If I had to name the five best friends I've had in my time on earth, three of them would be four-legged.

I wish you well.

 

[rpn]

Just keep on serving and learning and looking for beauty and goodness.   There are a lot of opportunities to serve in your community (though admittedly many of them are with children and the elderly.

It is a pretty safe bet that there are others in your age group in your stake if not your ward, who might be interested in a book or garden or family home evening group, if you just starting inviting everyone.

I am so sorry that you feel so lonesome.

Edited June 4, 2022 by rpn

[Tacenda]

16 hours ago, manol said:

I don't know that any of this will be of any use to you in dealing with loneliness, so consider these to be just random ramblings...

There are belief systems which maintain that separation is an illusion, and I think there is something valid to that idea.  People who have had near-death experiences sometimes report that.  Here is one of them, this clip is only about two and a half minutes long:

Rob Gentile on Shaman Oaks Podcast, “Loneliness is just an illusion…” - YouTube

A book I really like that is about a simple and practical way to transcend being physical separated from those we love is "Kything:  The Art of Spiritual Presence", by Louis Savary and Patricia Berne.  You'll have it down pat in the first ten or fifteen pages.

Music helps me to work through, and/or shift, the energy that I'm experiencing.  One song that "does it" for me is "Bron-y-aur Stomp", by Led Zeppelin.  Robert Plant is singing about a dog he owned:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_TJNLpHOTU

Which brings me to my fourth suggestion:  If you don't already have a dog or a cat, you might consider getting one.  If I had to name the five best friends I've had in my time on earth, three of them would be four-legged.

I wish you well.

 

This is so helpful, makes me one to get a four-legged friend. I hope @SteelMagnoliainTexasfeels less lonesome. 

[SteelMagnoliainTexas]

Thanks to all who replied.  Loneliness is definitely not an illusion to me;. however, everyone has their own perspective.

Sometimes God separates us to grow us.  Have you ever seen the loners at school?  They always walked alone, never fit in, they sat alone at lunch everyday.  Played alone at the playground....etc.  To be a leader you have to learn to be alone and being alone produces strength....but it doesn't mean it's not painful.

 

 

[Orthodox Christian]

On 6/7/2022 at 5:32 PM, SteelMagnoliainTexas said:

Thanks to all who replied.  Loneliness is definitely not an illusion to me;. however, everyone has their own perspective.

Sometimes God separates us to grow us.  Have you ever seen the loners at school?  They always walked alone, never fit in, they sat alone at lunch everyday.  Played alone at the playground....etc.  To be a leader you have to learn to be alone and being alone produces strength....but it doesn't mean it's not painful.

 

 

Were you a loner at school? Have you always found relationships difficult?

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

On 6/3/2022 at 10:12 PM, SteelMagnoliainTexas said:

Does anyone else who is widowed divorced feel this way?  Not too long ago I had a baby on my hip a toddler I was homeschooling had a husband too.  I sacrificed for them I stayed home when other women had to have their careers.  I had no social life.  Not really any friends.  Back then we were in the home church movement.  Women in general gripe because I might show up at their prayer meeting and actually pray.  Or if I happen to be attracted to a man at least one woman will show up and to try and entice him or a man will run over and tell him something horrible.  Just anything negative.  What do you do?

A few questions, 1) What home Church movement? 2) Are you speaking of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? 3) Those who have or were hosting at home “prayer meetings”, were upset if you prayed; why? 4) How would these (so-called) friends know you were attracted to a man? 5) If these were “women’s prayer meetings”, why were men also in attendance? 6) If these women did not want you to pray, and indeed say “horrible things about you” ” (to use your words), they are not your friends, but apparently your enemies. So, “what to do”, stay away from those, or anyone seeking to tare you down. Also, are you assuming they said, “horrible things”, or are you assuming they did so? Either way, it is never a good idea to hang around with people who do not help lift you up, which is what real friends do. Real friends love you, and will move heaven and earth to make you feel loved. 
 

I don’t usually ask, but are you a Latter-day Saint? Also seek help, if you are LDS, many areas have counselors that can help, and Bishop’s are always available should you need someone to speak with. Based on your number of posts here, you do seem to be “lonely be isolated” But this website is not a place for counseling. It is for debate, and apologetics as it relates to issues surrounding, “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints”, and it’s doctrines. We welcome those of other Faith’s, to add to our discussions, even encourage educated individuals who can add to the goal of apologetics. Some of the posters here, who are not of my Faith, a “Latter-day Saint”, have taught me so very much, and I thank G-d for them.  Having said (written) all of this, the only counseling, or advice you will get here, will only be individual options. If you need, or seek professional therapy, this is not the place.
 

Again, many of us can read your many threads, and lend a (our) sympathetic ear, or eyes in this written forum, but little else. I have been a member of this website for 15+ years, and to my knowledge, we have no licensed, or part time qualified counselors. So, if I may, I understand your pain, I have passed through such valleys of despair during my life, and also climbed wonderful mountain tops, (metaphorically speaking) where I was able to truly  rejoice, depending on the many different times in my life. Most however, live on the middle ground, where the earth is flat, and easier to walk. I have found however, that we only develop the most Spiritual muscle, while we are climbing out of the deepest of valleys, or climbing to the highest of peaks. Having read many of your threads, I know you are suffering, so I will try to keep you in my prayers, for whatever it is worth. If you are a Latter-day Saint, and even if you are not, go to LDS.ORG, and you can find many General Conference talks  where our Apostles, and other General Authorities have given sermons discussing their own struggles with depression, or difficulties throughout their lives. One of our greatest Apostles “Elder Jeffrey R Holland” (greatest in my opinion), speaks of his own struggles with depression. He is an Apostle who always gives such wonderful sermons, sermons that cause your soul to rejoice, and if not rejoice, they never disappoint.  I met him once, we were able to speak also, when he visited our Stake here in Georgia, yes Georgia; the promised land. 😀 His sermon that Sunday, he spoke of his own feelings of depression at times during his life. He spoke of how difficult is is to travel so much, and be away from his (this was many years ago) wife. He then went on to make sure we all understood, how we can cope, how to take joy in serving the Lord, no matter the hardship. He spoke of this, to tell all in attendance, that he knows that other struggle with the same feelings, and he didn’t want them to feel alone, and to find joy, even in our struggles, because every high and low in life has a lesson within it, and even joy if we turn to the Savior for our answers. It was a powerful sermon, but anyone who knows, and knows of Elder Holland, knows that the power of the Holy Spirit, can and will be found in his sermons. 

Also, if you wish, find the sermons of Elder Neil A Maxwell, an Apostle I miss more than most. I always keep a book written by him n m nightstand. This way, I can always pick up a book of his and be both, “instructed and enlightened” with his amazing ability to write, and explain the word of God. However, I keep his book entitled, “All These Shall Give Thee Experience”. The title of the book comes from scripture, but it is almost all about the difficulty and suffering we are pass through in life. Also, he writes from experience, as he suffered through so very much, even the cancer that finally took his life. Sorry for such a long reply, but seek to understand, all of life’s difficulties can be teaching moments if who turn to our Savior, who suffered almost all things, even unto death. Then, from that horrible cross upon which they nailed him too, he said; “Farher forgive them for they know not what they do”. 
 

[Ranch2727]

Interesting, I was very popular going up through athletics and community environment. I was one of the jocks at my high school and talked to all of my classmates.  My closest friends at that time aren’t in my life anymore.  However, now I’m a bit of a loner, I find it to be peaceful when I’m alone.  I have a very close family that get together for every little thing.  I love that about them and I do most things with them.  My wife is now my best friend and she knows I like my alone time and she is very respectful of that.  I wonder what changed for me? I never really thought about it until I read the thread. I’m no longer LDS but most my family is including my wife. I really like this group and thanks for all of your insight.