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No more time-only marriages in the temple


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12 hours ago, Bob Crockett said:

Which is all interesting given that the owners of the temple before the RLDS church used to house cattle in the building. Or am I thinking about the Nauvoo Temple?

Could have been either, I suppose. I know the Nauvoo Temple was despicably and contemptibly desecrated. I’m not as familiar with the history of the Kirtland Temple. 

Edited by Scott Lloyd
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4 hours ago, Damien the Leper said:

Now the church should discontinue the inappropriate use of a church building for the reception. Also, stop with the whole having 2 receptions thing. Good grief!

Why? Why is it inappropriate? At its worst it causes some scheduling difficulties.

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15 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

Why? Why is it inappropriate? At its worst it causes some scheduling difficulties.

Right. It's also a large place to have a reception for free!

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4 hours ago, Damien the Leper said:

Now the church should discontinue the inappropriate use of a church building for the reception. Also, stop with the whole having 2 receptions thing. Good grief!

You want members to have to pay for alternative venues? Not have receptions? 

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1 minute ago, bsjkki said:

You want members to have to pay for alternative venues? Not have receptions? 

And one has to favor one set of family and friends over another if only one reception is held.  Just doesn’t seem kind to me (now if one is being mercenary and doing it to max gifts, that is a problem ...speaking as someone who pretty much did this or rather talked myself into any reception at all since our parents wanted them by telling myself the gifts would make it worth it).

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55 minutes ago, bsjkki said:

You want members to have to pay for alternative venues? Not have receptions? 

Forget the reception. Go straight for the honeymoon. You'll see all those family and friends another time. It's all traditional and sentimental overkill.

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53 minutes ago, Calm said:

And one has to favor one set of family and friends over another if only one reception is held.  Just doesn’t seem kind to me (now if one is being mercenary and doing it to max gifts, that is a problem ...speaking as someone who pretty much did this or rather talked myself into any reception at all since our parents wanted them by telling myself the gifts would make it worth it).

You do realize that non-Mormon couples have only one reception that does not favor one side over the other, right? The absurdity of having one reception in Snowflake, AZ and then another in Pocatello, ID is mind numbing.

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1 hour ago, The Nehor said:

Why? Why is it inappropriate? At its worst it causes some scheduling difficulties.

There are plenty of resources for little to no cost venues for receptions. The last reception I went to at a church building the bride looked miserable. I remember there were some tacky floral decor and some awkward floral archway setup that should never be done again. Then again, nothing screams eternal happiness like a basketball court, nasty jello salads, an iPhone and iPhone speaker blaring while obnoxious children are running amok and nearly knock over Aunt Hattie and her walker with tennis balls attached to it.

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5 minutes ago, Damien the Leper said:

You do realize that non-Mormon couples have only one reception that does not favor one side over the other, right? The absurdity of having one reception in Snowflake, AZ and then another in Pocatello, ID is mind numbing.

If you have a reception where it is easy for the bride’s friends and family to get to, but the groom’s family and friends have to travel and pay hotel bills or the reverse, it is favoritism in my view.  It may be socially acceptable, but if no big deal to have two receptions (and with free rental space and people contributing food it can be very cheap), why not have another excuse for a big party for those who want it (speaking as someone who most definitely does not want it)?  I do agree having two costly affairs especially when this is a burden on families is something that should be an exception, not standard practice. 

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Just now, Damien the Leper said:

There are plenty of resources for little to no cost venues for receptions.

I love backyards and these seem to be becoming more acceptable but having a cultural hall as backup for bad weather is wise imo.
 

I have seen great looking receptions in a church cultural hall, including one with use of fairy lights for lighting and netting turned the hall into a cozy setting without a sight of basketball hoops unless you went looking for them. Took some effort to get the wires to suspend the netting on up. 

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5 minutes ago, Damien the Leper said:

There are plenty of resources for little to no cost venues for receptions. The last reception I went to at a church building the bride looked miserable. I remember there were some tacky floral decor and some awkward floral archway setup that should never be done again. Then again, nothing screams eternal happiness like a basketball court, nasty jello salads, an iPhone and iPhone speaker blaring while obnoxious children are running amok and nearly knock over Aunt Hattie and her walker with tennis balls attached to it.

Not in my area. When did you last price these little to no cost venues?  

Did you think the bride was miserable due to the reception location? Did you ask her what was wrong? 

It sounds like you think children and family should not attend receptions? Only professional sound systems are good enough for ‘eternal happiness?’

 

 


 

 

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7 minutes ago, Calm said:

If you have a reception where it is easy for the bride’s friends and family to get to, but the groom’s family and friends have to travel and pay hotel bills or the reverse, it is favoritism in my view.  It may be socially acceptable, but if no big deal to have two receptions (and with free rental space and people contributing food it can be very cheap), why not have another excuse for a big party for those who want it (speaking as someone who most definitely does not want it)?  I do agree having two costly affairs especially when this is a burden on families is something that should be an exception, not standard practice. 

Or just don't have one and save money for something exclusively for the couple. People can send cards and gift cards if they want. No need for any special trips.

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8 minutes ago, Calm said:

If you have a reception where it is easy for the bride’s friends and family to get to, but the groom’s family and friends have to travel and pay hotel bills or the reverse, it is favoritism in my view.  It may be socially acceptable, but if no big deal to have two receptions (and with free rental space and people contributing food it can be very cheap), why not have another excuse for a big party for those who want it (speaking as someone who most definitely does not want it)?  I do agree having two costly affairs especially when this is a burden on families is something that should be an exception, not standard practice. 

We usually only have one reception because my side has family that all has to travel and few ward friends due to frequent moves (and other issues.)

We might as well  be one and done. 

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2 minutes ago, Damien the Leper said:

Or just don't have one and save money for something exclusively for the couple. People can send cards and gift cards if they want. No need for any special trips.

Don’t you think this is for the couple to decide?

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11 minutes ago, Calm said:

I love backyards and these seem to be becoming more acceptable but having a cultural hall as backup for bad weather is wise imo.
 

I have seen great looking receptions in a church cultural hall, including one with use of fairy lights for lighting and netting turned the hall into a cozy setting without a sight of basketball hoops unless you went looking for them. Took some effort to get the wires to suspend the netting on up. 

I can get behind some serious Martha Stewart talent.

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Just now, bsjkki said:

We usually only have one reception because my side has family that all has to travel and few ward friends due to frequent moves (and other issues.)

We might as well  be one and done. 

That makes sense.  I was thinking of only having one a week or two after the wedding and honeymoon (much less stress) because all my friends were from university by then and my husband was from that area, but Mom insisted on a party for those that came to the wedding (more turned up then I expected...I learned don’t send out I cost if you don’t want people to come, they are not the same as announcements) as I wanted the wedding at the temple I grew up with thinking as mine and my husband didn’t care. We both would have gone for Hawaii if his parents could have afforded it. 
 

But both were in the homes and yards of parents and didn’t have anything formal about them so maybe Damien will forgive me. 

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4 minutes ago, Calm said:

That makes sense.  I was thinking of only having one a week or two after the wedding and honeymoon (much less stress) because all my friends were from university by then and my husband was from that area, but Mom insisted on a party for those that came to the wedding (more turned up then I expected...I learned don’t send out I cost if you don’t want people to come, they are not the same as announcements) as I wanted the wedding at the temple I grew up with thinking as mine and my husband didn’t care. We both would have gone for Hawaii if his parents could have afforded it. 
 

But both were in the homes and yards of parents and didn’t have anything formal about them so maybe Damien will forgive me. 

I've been to many beautiful home and yard weddings. Personally, I'd take that over an indoor venue (weather permitting) any day.

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My reception was in the neighborhood club house of my step grandma. $25 to rent. Built in the 70’s  and it was quite dreary and dated. I had incredibly tacky home made decorations. Homemade bridesmaid dresses in a floral print. My kids love laughing at the change in styles. My dress was sewn by a ward member and I still like it. No dance, no DJ, no ipod. 
 

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Just now, Damien the Leper said:

I can get behind some serious Martha Stewart talent.

If cell phones were around back then, I think I would have taken extensive pictures just so I could do the same with my kids...but so far only my son has been married and I kind of stood back and just told my husband to write a check for our part after hooking up the talent on my side with the in-law side (my sister in laws did the flowers while the bride’s friend did the cake).

If my daughter ever gets married, guessing it will be jeans and t shirts with a friend or relative who did an online application to marry them with an Asian buffet and a cream puff tree wedding and ginger beer and cucumber mint drinks to toast.  

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4 minutes ago, Damien the Leper said:

Absolutely! There should be no pressure to accommodate family and friends for a reception when one really isn't necessary.

 

And what if that is what the couple wants? What if they want to share their day with their friends and family and celebrate? Weddings should be celebrated in most circumstances.

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1 minute ago, bsjkki said:

And what if that is what the couple wants? What if they want to share their day with their friends and family and celebrate? Weddings should be celebrated in most circumstances.

Heck yeah then go for it!! I wish I could have been at the wedding at Cana. I'm sure the Lord definitely knew how to party and made the best wine that He probably still drinks to this day.

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4 minutes ago, Calm said:

If cell phones were around back then, I think I would have taken extensive pictures just so I could do the same with my kids...but so far only my son has been married and I kind of stood back and just told my husband to write a check for our part after hooking up the talent on my side with the in-law side (my sister in laws did the flowers while the bride’s friend did the cake).

If my daughter ever gets married, guessing it will be jeans and t shirts with a friend or relative who did an online application to marry them with an Asian buffet and a cream puff tree wedding and ginger beer and cucumber mint drinks to toast.  

People still use checks?!? Venmo, Zelle, CashApp, etc. are the way to go.

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