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Health Problems; how do you tell the family?


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Beyond my back injuries, I also have problems due to diabetes. I am taking care of myself in that department, but I should have listened earlier. Sadly nerve damage, especially to my feet are permanent, I won’t “can’t” walk around the house unless in special shoes. Once I gave up sweets, my blood sugar in almost perfect, and for any who think they can’t give up sweets, believe me you can. I can’t even tolerate sweets anymore, I have NO desire to eat anything sweet, ever! Lately I have had more problems, and had three serious falls inside a few days. I have injured my back very badly, and broken the short rib on my right side, which turned into  respiratory problems.

I have tried to tell my family that I am getting worse, and fear my body can’t handle much more. But, all they know is the man who served 10 years in the Army, 23 in law-enforcement, and 3 more working in heavy construction. In short this person who is 6’2”, and 200+ lbs, who could punch his way through walls, who is beyond harm. Despite the bruises, the idea that nothing bring me down their Dad. I know what my body is telling me, and I know why they want to believe otherwise, and I know it is because they love me. 

So, my friends...what to do? 

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I would imagine that this is as hard for you to accept as it is for them?  You've done and accomplished so much in your life, seems cruel that your body is letting you down.  

 

I wonder, if this is the case, that in fact you are struggling to accept it - if once you do, they will listen.

I might be wrong, perhaps you have accepted your limits.  I'm impressed that you have cut out sweets.  

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Accept it, and don't require them to do so.    But also don't agree to do, don't try to do, don't do what you cannot do ---- just say no.  (And see if you can get your dr to prescribe water therapy so you can still exercise in ways that don't increase the pain.

BTW, if family members expect more than you can give, take them with you to medical appts and invite the dr to tell them what you can and cannot do.

Fact is that kids may want you to live forever/may just be in denial.   That is okay: people have to grieve or not how they want to.

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1 hour ago, MustardSeed said:

I would imagine that this is as hard for you to accept as it is for them?  You've done and accomplished so much in your life, seems cruel that your body is letting you down.  

 

I wonder, if this is the case, that in fact you are struggling to accept it - if once you do, they will listen.

I might be wrong, perhaps you have accepted your limits.  I'm impressed that you have cut out sweets.  

It is hard, However I have lived a wonderful life. 

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4 hours ago, Bill “Papa” Lee said:

It is hard, However I have lived a wonderful life. 

Someone may have said this already, but maybe it's a coping mechanism. They (family) are in denial that you could ever not be the man you described yourself to be, it's hard to watch our parents get bad physically or mentally. You know how that's like with your sweet mom who got dementia, or  was it Alzheimer's. I too had my beautiful mom succumb to that terrible disease.

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