In Praise of the Cafeteria Mormon

[jkwilliams]

Back when I was having my crisis of faith, my father told me that I needed to have a more relaxed attitude about the church and its teachings. He told me, "I embrace the good things in the church, and I ignore the bad." I've thought about that a lot, and I've concluded that I haven't met very many church members, if any, who accept the letter and spirit of every single teaching in the church. People often criticize "cafeteria Mormons" for "picking and choosing" which gospel principles and commandments to follow, but I think most people are, to one degree or another, cafeteria Mormons. 

Maybe that's a strength of the church, the notion that one can be a faithful member and help to build Zion even if one is not entirely on board with every doctrine and policy and practice of the church. We often speak of church membership as if we are all supposed to be the same and obey every last detail, but the reality in the church is that we have our agency to take church teachings and, as Nephi put it, "liken" them to us, and as Joseph Smith said, adapt them to our circumstances. If everyone in the church believed exactly the same things and lived their lives exactly the same way, it would be pretty boring. 

So, here's to the cafeteria Mormon! 

Edited September 19, 2017 by jkwilliams

[mfbukowski]

5 minutes ago, jkwilliams said:

Back when I was having my crisis of faith, my father told me that I needed to have a more relaxed attitude about the church and its teachings. He told me, "I embrace the good things in the church, and I ignore the bad." I've thought about that a lot, and I've concluded that I haven't met very many church members, if any, who accept the letter and spirit of every single teaching in the church. People often criticize "cafeteria Mormons" for "picking and choosing" which gospel principles and commandments to follow, but I think most people are, to one degree or another, cafeteria Mormons. 

Maybe that's a strength of the church, the notion that one can be a faithful member and help to build Zion even if one is not entirely on board with every doctrine and policy and practice of the church. We often speak of church membership as if we are all supposed to be the same and obey every last detail, but the reality in the church is that we have our agency to take church teachings and, as Nephi put it, "liken" them to us, and as Joseph Smith said, adapt them to our circumstances. If everyone in the church believed exactly the same things and lived their lives exactly the same things, it would be pretty boring. 

So, here's to the cafeteria Mormon! 

Best post you have ever made!

It's not really picking and choosing as much as it is having a testimony of certain principles and not others.  That is why I harp on orthopraxis so much.  If you can truthfully in good conscience pass a temple recommend interview- what is it- 10 questions?- then you are a Mormon in full fellowship.

Do you have a testimony of principle x?  Yes or no?   No discussion about what that means, how strong the testimony is or the nuances of meaning of those statements.  It's between you and your God. 

[jkwilliams]

1 minute ago, mfbukowski said:

Best post you have ever made!

It's not really picking and choosing as much as it is having a testimony of certain principles and not others.  That is why I harp on orthopraxis so much.  If you can truthfully in good conscience pass a temple recommend interview- what is it- 10 questions?- then you are a Mormon in full fellowship.

Do you have a testimony of principle x?  Yes or no?   No discussion about what that means, how strong the testimony is or the nuances of meaning of those statements.  It's between you and your God. 

I can die a happy man.

[The Nehor]

Die Heretic!!!!!

[jkwilliams]

2 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

Die Heretic!!!!!

I'm already spiritually dead. 

[mfbukowski]

Walking through the room with the TV on to a soap opera.  (Of course i was not watching....) 

The secular version of guilt, repentance and atonement:

"I'd do anything to take that back! I just have to do whatever I can to make it good, forgive myself and move on with life- What else can I do??"

[jkwilliams]

Just now, mfbukowski said:

Walking through the room with the TV on to a soap opera.  (Of course i was not watching....) 

The secular version of guilt, repentance and atonement:

"I'd do anything to take that back! I just have to do whatever I can to make it good, forgive myself and move on with life- What else can I do??"

True story: At my job I'm working on a paper discussing "Prophet Forecasting." 

[The Nehor]

Did you repent for viewing a soap opera though?

[Duncan]

I have boundaries, like I am not going to not do my calling in order to do someone else's or I can set up the sacrament but will leave it to others to pass and bless or vice versa. I remember an interview with Tom Hanks some years ago and he talked about being in Jackie Gleason's final movie, it wasn't a hit but anyways Tom Hanks said he would be respectful and learn from him  but he wasn't going to be intimidated by Jackie Gleason and by that I take it to mean take people for who they are rather than what we think they are. I remember in the mission field being so intimidated by members and wealthy members and my 2nd mission comp. who's dad was a heart surgeon used to get upset with me about that! hahahha! they are just people who have cool jobs but so what? they can be as ditzy or boring just like anybody else! now, I refuse to be intimidated by people or trying to be

[Jeanne]

47 minutes ago, jkwilliams said:

Back when I was having my crisis of faith, my father told me that I needed to have a more relaxed attitude about the church and its teachings. He told me, "I embrace the good things in the church, and I ignore the bad." I've thought about that a lot, and I've concluded that I haven't met very many church members, if any, who accept the letter and spirit of every single teaching in the church. People often criticize "cafeteria Mormons" for "picking and choosing" which gospel principles and commandments to follow, but I think most people are, to one degree or another, cafeteria Mormons. 

Maybe that's a strength of the church, the notion that one can be a faithful member and help to build Zion even if one is not entirely on board with every doctrine and policy and practice of the church. We often speak of church membership as if we are all supposed to be the same and obey every last detail, but the reality in the church is that we have our agency to take church teachings and, as Nephi put it, "liken" them to us, and as Joseph Smith said, adapt them to our circumstances. If everyone in the church believed exactly the same things and lived their lives exactly the same things, it would be pretty boring. 

So, here's to the cafeteria Mormon! 

Love this...and so true.  I believe it was some very good cafeteria mormon women that kept my mother sane!  We had a very old elderly neighbor who would often say..."if the church tells me one more time in each decade I have lived that it is the last days...I will just shoot myself!"

[CV75]

47 minutes ago, jkwilliams said:

Back when I was having my crisis of faith, my father told me that I needed to have a more relaxed attitude about the church and its teachings. He told me, "I embrace the good things in the church, and I ignore the bad." I've thought about that a lot, and I've concluded that I haven't met very many church members, if any, who accept the letter and spirit of every single teaching in the church. People often criticize "cafeteria Mormons" for "picking and choosing" which gospel principles and commandments to follow, but I think most people are, to one degree or another, cafeteria Mormons. 

Maybe that's a strength of the church, the notion that one can be a faithful member and help to build Zion even if one is not entirely on board with every doctrine and policy and practice of the church. We often speak of church membership as if we are all supposed to be the same and obey every last detail, but the reality in the church is that we have our agency to take church teachings and, as Nephi put it, "liken" them to us, and as Joseph Smith said, adapt them to our circumstances. If everyone in the church believed exactly the same things and lived their lives exactly the same things, it would be pretty boring. 

So, here's to the cafeteria Mormon! 

Historical question tracing the roots of cafeteria Mormons: Should the Mormon pioneer chuck wagon be considered a cafeteria or a food truck?

[The Nehor]

It is more a trust thing for me. There are things in the Church and gospel I do not like but I have experienced the divinity behind it in communion with God. I trust that either I am wrong and will be instructed in the future or I am right and in God's due time the problems will be corrected. Probably have some of each in there.

I just do not  often voice my concerns and confusion mostly to avoid harming the faith of others.

[Duncan]

2 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

It is more a trust thing for me. There are things in the Church and gospel I do not like but I have experienced the divinity behind it in communion with God. I trust that either I am wrong and will be instructed in the future or I am right and in God's due time the problems will be corrected. Probably have some of each in there.

I just do not  often voice my concerns and confusion mostly to avoid harming the faith of others.

In 2012 I and others' were asked by the newly incoming Mission President to express what we thought about how missionary work was conducted in the stake. I was at the time a ward mission leader. So, I told them flat out. it was a multi page document as I recall. I never heard a peep from the Mission President-but always after he treated me nicely . I did however have an interview with the stake president. One concern was that the missionaries were being told, allegedly by the 1st Presidency to commit people to baptism at the first visit.  I've been lied to like that before on my mission. So, the SP brought that up that he gets concerned when people go against the 1st Presidency's wishes or instruction. I told him show me a letter that indicates they even said that because I get concerned when people lie and slap a 1st Presidency label on things as if they know what is going on. So, our interview went nowhere and he told me to keep my concerns to myself.

[The Nehor]

When I was in the Mission we had a soft invite to baptism in the first discussion and a hard one in the second and were told to go with the Spirit on both.

Preach My Gospel is more free form.