Church Members Are Completely Overwhelmed

[sunstoned]

A quick point if I can:

 

This thread show exactly why wealthy people generally hold callings of high demand and leadership. Wealthy families without debt can afford to take 3 years out of their prime earning years to go serve a mission. Wealthy people are more likely to be able to leave work early to go conduct the necessary temple recommend interviews on a Wednesday night and still have time left over to spend with their families at other times throughout the week.

 

We can't have it both ways. We can't complain about how only the rich get such callings and then also complain about how overworked we are and we don't have enough time to do other things.

 

Off topic a bit, but just a thought.

I think this is why you see wealthy, or well off people in the upper management positions in the church.  These types of positions take a lot of time and effort to fulfill, and someone who is working hand to mouth 45 to 60 hours as week does not have the energy or the time to devote to challenging calling.

[Yirgacheffe]

I think this is why you see wealthy, or well off people in the upper management positions in the church.  These types of positions take a lot of time and effort to fulfill, and someone who is working hand to mouth 45 to 60 hours as week does not have the energy or the time to devote to challenging calling.

And they in turn don't understand the lives of those that live hand to mouth working 45 to 60 hours and so demand time from people who have very little of it and as a result are overwhelmed.

[Okrahomer]

And they in turn don't understand the lives of those that live hand to mouth working 45 to 60 hours and so demand time from people who have very little of it and as a result are overwhelmed.

This is simply inaccurate. It also seems dangerously close to hypocrisy to sit in judgement of a group of people who freely give of their time and substance to help those who are living "hand to mouth." To ascribe to them a lack of understanding--or empathy--betrays an "uncharitable" attitude. Any one who spends several hours each week to "succor the weak, lift up the hands that hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees" deserves at least a small benefit of doubt, don't you think?

[sunstoned]

It also helps to be retired or at least have all your children out of the house.

 

My observation is that I find that people who have proven themselves successful in managing or working with others tend to be called to leadership.

This is true. I did not fully comprehend how much extra time a person can have on their hands once the children move out of the house.  

[The Nehor]

I'd just get the dreaded reputation of not doing everything. Hopefully then they would leave me alone.

[Stargazer]

We're taught that we are to accept callings and taught in the temple to sacrifice and give all to the church for the building up the Kingdom of God...time, talents etc.

If you accept too many callings then you can't fulfill them adequately and your responsibilities founder. It does not serve God to do his work in a shoddy manner because you don't know the meaning of the word "No" and because your leaders can't learn to LEAD properly.

The principle I was taught was yes, accept callings, but advise the calling authority when the burden becomes unreasonable, and especially when the burden cannot be borne without far more important things, like family and employment, suffering unreasonably.

I have four callings, two stake and two ward, but none of them are "major", and they don't interfere with each other, or my more important responsibilities.

[Yirgacheffe]

If you accept too many callings then you can't fulfill them adequately and your responsibilities founder. It does not serve God to do his work in a shoddy manner because you don't know the meaning of the word "No" and because your leaders can't learn to LEAD properly.

The principle I was taught was yes, accept callings, but advise the calling authority when the burden becomes unreasonable, and especially when the burden cannot be borne without far more important things, like family and employment, suffering unreasonably.

I have four callings, two stake and two ward, but none of them are "major", and they don't interfere with each other, or my more important responsibilities.

Employment does not suffer willingly and can be quite unforgiving if slighted, often if your employment suffers repeatedly you will have to replace it.  I also wonder what is reasonable suffering for a family to tolerate in regards to time spent at church?

[Stargazer]

Employment does not suffer willingly and can be quite unforgiving if slighted, often if your employment suffers repeatedly you will have to replace it.  I also wonder what is reasonable suffering for a family to tolerate in regards to time spent at church?

 

It's an individual thing.  And some church callings are not done "at church". 

 

One of my stake callings, emergency communications specialist (ham radio), is almost always done at home -- I get on the radio on Sunday evenings and run a "net", which is a radio communications checkin.  Unless we have an actual emergency, when I might go to the stake center to help operate our stake emergency communications center.  We drill on that once per year.  We had a bad snowstorm a few years ago and I operated the emergency communications net from my house, since there were power outages all over, and I had reliable power but not too many others, for a few days.  My other stake calling is as a finance clerk for our state singles branch.  That's an hour or so every Sunday.

 

One of my ward callings is done from home, as the ward website administrator.  The other ward calling is to instruct the high priests group on Sundays.

 

I think my total time per week on church callings done not during meetings is about two hours.  I am definitely not overwhelmed.

[Rain]

Wealthy people may have resources, but that doesn't mean they have time. Some are wealthy because of the long hours put in at work.

[The Nehor]

Employment does not suffer willingly and can be quite unforgiving if slighted, often if your employment suffers repeatedly you will have to replace it.  I also wonder what is reasonable suffering for a family to tolerate in regards to time spent at church?

It probably varies by family. I would request divine counsel on the matter.

[Olmec]

Is it really the workload? Could it be that you're trying very hard to take all assignments so that people won't murmur about your single dad status?are you trying to prove that you are worthy by overworking yourself? I know a person who was shunned because of a single mom status. Going through a extremely rough divorce is hard enough... But to be shunned by those you need,is horrible. I agree with whomever said that we aren't perfect and we work on ourselves everyday. I'm an investigator and was verbally smeared in the church because some member decided I should be baptized on his timeframe... Not Gods or mine. What a jerk! Anyway, don't work too hard. Don't allow others to step on you. Sometimes we are the good Samaritan,sometimes the victim. I hope this helps you.

[oMtonic]

I didn't read the whole thread, but auteur, you have my sympathies (and to some degree, empathy) with feeling overwhelmed.

 

It sounds like an issue with your ward/stake leadership. Very recently our stake presidency here in the midwest re-emphasized Elder Oaks' "Good, Better, Best" message that was also re-emphasized in a recent General Conference. Our stake presidency has also emphasized simplifying our lives in our ward conference this year.

 

Our local priesthood leaders have counseled us multiple times (including very recently) on what our priorities should be (as I believe they were counseled from an Area Seventy) in this specific order:

1. Your relationship with God

2. Your relationship with your spouse

3. Your relationship with your family

4. Your responsibility to provide for your family

5. Your Church calling

 

 

We as Melchizedek Priesthood leaders were also recently taught by our stake president that given all of the many things we're responsible for our in Melchizedek Priesthood leadership callings, the practical truth is that we really don't have time in our lives to be the best in all of those areas of responsibility. He taught that to magnify our calling not only comprises service, sacrifice, and consecration, but it means getting on your knees and obtaining your errand from the Lord (revelation; Jacob 1:17-19) on what specific areas of responsibility you should be focusing your attention on (again, touches upon what's "Good, Better, Best").

 

I hope these insights can assist you in your decision making and any dialogue you may have with leaders or others who feel your priorities are out of whack or you're being unreasonable.