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Seeking Advice And Insight Please...


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  My father was (and is) a big believer in casting evil spirits out of the home.  My little brother was involved in marijuana heavily before leaving home as well, and Dad said it was a regular occurrence to cleanse the house spiritually because of the oppressive feelings that came with sin under his roof.  To Maestrophil, you will certainly be in my prayers today.  

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  My father was (and is) a big believer in casting evil spirits out of the home.  My little brother was involved in marijuana heavily before leaving home as well, and Dad said it was a regular occurrence to cleanse the house spiritually because of the oppressive feelings that came with sin under his roof.  To Maestrophil, you will certainly be in my prayers today.  

Thank you!!

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It is nice to get feedback. So often the OPer disappears pretty quick but people stillcare and still try to help and I often wonder what happens and if half our stuff even gets read, so thanks for showing up again, it is good to see connections being made with everyone, people caring about each other and wanting to help others' lives be better, even in some very small way.

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Somewhere along the line there will be trust issues.  But as difficult as it may seem, you will have to trust..maybe be disappointed but trust in your son or daughter because that is another reason why they slip away with excuses.  Does that make sense???

I am speaking from experience many moons ago when I just felt that I could not believe a word my daughter said.  It took some great patience and a great deal of "check up" on myself that eventually earned trust both ways.

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It is nice to get feedback. So often the OPer disappears pretty quick but people stillcare and still try to help and I often wonder what happens and if half our stuff even gets read, so thanks for showing up again, it is good to see connections being made with everyone, people caring about each other and wanting to help others' lives be better, even in some very small way.

 

I agree that it is nice when there are connections made.  It is so hard for me to find the time to actually participate here, but I definitely want people to know that I appreciate their help and advice and do weigh every comment made.

 

Jeanne - I am gearing up for lots of potential trust struggles as we navigate this senior year for him.  I am hoping that, above all, I never lose my cool enough to do something that makes him feel unloved.

 

NEW ADDITION  - Sooo this same son says at the dinner table last night "I have something I want you to read, dad".  I ask what it is and he replies, "Letter to a CES director".  I say I have read it, and ask what he thinks of it, to which he replies "I think it was beautiful". 

 

Hoo boy!  I am ready for a new round of advice giving from you all!!!  :-)

 

MP

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Check out FairMormon if you haven't already. And if there is a gap, please ask about it.

If he wants to discuss it with you, I would suggest laying down the rule one question at a time and not to move on until both agree there is nothing else you want to talk about that subject. Keep it focused tightly and don't get derailed. Write down other questions as they come up so he knows you are not dismissing or avoiding them. If he gets bored, then mark the question research as unfinished so that he knows just popping down a big list of complaints without any indepth examination proves/demonstrates nothing.

See if he is willing to do research as well and both agree to go to original sources as much as possible. FM should have links where possible and where not, you can write to get surrounding material hopefully so he can see if it was taken out of context by the FM writers.

Don't even have to discuss conclusions about the research as the two of you may see things very differently and that may lead to contention, but it might be nice if each got a chance without being rebutted to summarise what he has learned so he gets the idea that people can interpret the same things differently. The important thing is to teach him not to rely on things like the CES letter for his information and to do his own research to learn actual context etc. IMO.

Edited by calmoriah
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I hope you replied.   "I'll be happy to discuss each point with you, if you want.   Just because someone writes about doubts they have, doesn't make it either true or a testimony killer.   And I hope you won't simply accept all of it without doing your own research and critical thinking.  When you follow the information to original source material, you will find that a) leaders make mistakes (which I already know because I've been called as a leader and made mistakes even when I was trying hard to figure out God's will and do it in every aspect of my calling; including being your parent. b) JS misunderstood the sealing power, which was corrected by revelation by Wilford Woodruff, who told the saints to be sealed to their own ancestors and not people they thought were righteous or leaders. (See the introduction and lesson on temples in the RS/PH manual of wilford woodruff).   c) we know very little about lots of history and original sources that are quoted to support bad things, are often just as easily construed to be consistent with faith.    I'll work with you to go through all 93 or so pages if you'd like."

Edited by rpn
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I hope you replied.   "I'll be happy to discuss each point with you, if you want.   Just because someone writes about doubts they have, doesn't make it either true or a testimony killer.   And I hope you won't simply accept all of it without doing your own research and critical thinking.  When you follow the information to original source material, you will find that a) leaders make mistakes (which I already know because I've been called as a leader and made mistakes even when I was trying hard to figure out God's will and do it in every aspect of my calling; including being your parent. b) JS misunderstood the sealing power, which was corrected by revelation by Wilford Woodruff, who told the saints to be sealed to their own ancestors and not people they thought were righteous or leaders. (See the introduction and lesson on temples in the RS/PH manual of wilford woodruff).   c) we know very little about lots of history and original sources that are quoted to support bad things, are often just as easily construed to be consistent with faith.    I'll work with you to go through all 93 or so pages if you'd like."

Pretty much exactly what I said.  He finally said, frustrated, "I didn't read the whole thing, just the first couple of pages, and the whole JS and stone in a hat is just stupid, and I don't need to read anything to know that. And just that is enough to confirm what I already think  that the church is made up."  He always says he hates to read and is more physical than academic.

 

Oh the joy of parenthood.  :-)

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