Danzo Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 (edited) Can someone who is homosexual have a successful marriage with someone of the opposite sex? It seems that one of the many reasons that people are advocating SSM is that they claim it is not possible to have a successful marriage and a meaningful relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Is this true? Can there be a successful (opposite sex) marriage if one or both parties experiences same sex attraction? Edited June 20, 2014 by Danzo
thesometimesaint Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 (edited) Can someone who is homosexual have a successful marriage with someone of the opposite sex? It seems that one of the many reasons that people are advocating SSM is that they claim it is not possible to have a successful marriage and a meaningful relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Is this true? Can there be a successful (opposite sex) marriage if one or both parties experiences same sex attraction?Yes. Not true. Yes. As long as both parties are upfront and open about their emotions. Edited June 20, 2014 by thesometimesaint 2
omni Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I sure it's possible, but would certainly be more difficult. I'm guessing it would be similar to a heterosexual marriage in which one of the partners has no physical/sexual attraction towards the other.
Danzo Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 I think it's almost impossible Care to elaborate?
Danzo Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 I sure it's possible, but would certainly be more difficult. I'm guessing it would be similar to a heterosexual marriage in which one of the partners has no physical/sexual attraction towards the other. Being attracted to a spouse always helps. Is being attracted to someone something that is always constant? I find that being attracted so someone who is not your spouse is a problem regardless of orientation. Also, many things can happen to make a spouse no longer physically/sexually attractive. 1
jkwilliams Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Is it impossible? Maybe not, but think of the spouse whose husband or wife is not attracted to him or her. I guess if a prospective spouse is told up front that the other spouse is gay and agrees, that's better than finding out years later that your spouse is gay. I know people who have suffered greatly for years wondering why their spouse doesn't find them attractive; it's quite damaging to one's self-image.
CA Steve Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Is the success of the marriage solely dependent on the gay person?Why not phrase your question thus: Can a marriage between a straight and gay opposite sex couple be successful?
bcuzbcuz Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Can someone who is homosexual have a successful marriage with someone of the opposite sex? It seems that one of the many reasons that people are advocating SSM is that they claim it is not possible to have a successful marriage and a meaningful relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Is this true? Can there be a successful (opposite sex) marriage if one or both parties experiences same sex attraction?What do you mean by "successful marriage"?
ERayR Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Can someone who is homosexual have a successful marriage with someone of the opposite sex? It seems that one of the many reasons that people are advocating SSM is that they claim it is not possible to have a successful marriage and a meaningful relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Is this true? Can there be a successful (opposite sex) marriage if one or both parties experiences same sex attraction? Successful marriages are based on selflessness and more you can gain and practice that attribute the more successful you will be.
Daniel2 Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Can someone who is homosexual have a successful marriage with someone of the opposite sex?Depends on the people and their definition of "successful." In some cases, I believe the answer is "yes." In other cases, the answer is "no." It seems that one of the many reasons that people are advocating SSM is that they claim it is not possible to have a successful marriage and a meaningful relationship with someone of the opposite sex.I haven't seen that claim being made as a foundational or legally significant reason why same-sex marriage should be legal.Can there be a successful (opposite sex) marriage if one or both parties experiences same sex attraction?Yes, there can.
Mola Ram Suda Ram Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Sure it's possible. Just like if you have a predisposition to be an alcoholic you can chose not to be one. Attractions grow over time it just depends on what some one is willing to accept.
JLHPROF Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 This really depends on your definition of "successful".... 1
Nofear Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 At least one gay Mormon agrees he can be heterosexually married and happy: http://www.joshweed.com/2012/06/club-unicorn-in-which-i-come-out-of.html 2
Bikeemikey Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 I voted No... though it is a "most of the time" thing and not a universal thing.Most people are unable to maintain a successful relationship with someone they are not sexually attracted to regardless of issues of orientation. Hetro-sexual relationships frequently fail and one contributor is lack of (sexual) attraction.
Bikeemikey Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Sure it's possible. Just like if you have a predisposition to be an alcoholic you can chose not to be one. Attractions grow over time it just depends on what some one is willing to accept.Alcoholism is not really a relevant example in this instance as people do not need to be attracted to alcohol in order to form meaningful and long term relationships.(Sexual) Attraction is an integral part of almost all long term successful relationships.
Danzo Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 This really depends on your definition of "successful"....What is your definition?
Danzo Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 What do you mean by "successful marriage"? For me a successful marriage is where as time goes by, you get closer together, you work towards the same goals. Differences are resolved in constructive ways, you develop a deep love (not just eros, but philia and agape as well) for each other that increases over time. And you have good communication skills. An unsuccessful marriage occurs when the couple does not grow closer together be end up living separate lives (whether divorced or just roommates). obviously there are degrees of both.
Danzo Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 Is the success of the marriage solely dependent on the gay person?Why not phrase your question thus: Can a marriage between a straight and gay opposite sex couple be successful? Both parties or one may be gay. maybe the question should be. "does the presence of a gay person prevent a successful marriage?"
Danzo Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 I haven't seen that claim being made as a foundational or legally significant reason why same-sex marriage should be legal. Lets leave the legal question out of this. As anyone familiar with the practice of law knows, "legal" is a different question than "right" or "Moral".
CA Steve Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Both parties or one may be gay. maybe the question should be. "does the presence of a gay person prevent a successful marriage?" How about : Would the combination of a heterosexual and homosexual spouses prevent a successful marriage? In my opinion, when you leave out one side of the equation you imply the other is at fault.
Danzo Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 I voted No... though it is a "most of the time" thing and not a universal thing.Most people are unable to maintain a successful relationship with someone they are not sexually attracted to regardless of issues of orientation. Hetro-sexual relationships frequently fail and one contributor is lack of (sexual) attraction. So you believe that lack of sexual attraction (for whatever reason) is sufficient cause to doom a marriage?
CA Steve Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 So you believe that lack of sexual attraction (for whatever reason) is sufficient cause to doom a marriage?Sexual attraction is not always an "either/or" proposition. Someone who identifies as gay, may also be attracted to the opposite sex.And I would note that my parents who are both in their late 80's are still going strong in their marriage.
CA Steve Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 Just out of curiosity, how many people considered this question both ways? A gay man successfully married to a straight woman and a gay woman successfully married to a straight man? I'll admit that at first I was only thinking of the first option and I bet the propensity to do so is directly related to age. I am not sure if it means anything, but i suspect there is a lot more bias against the first option than the second.
Danzo Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 How about : Would the combination of a heterosexual and homosexual spouses prevent a successful marriage? In my opinion, when you leave out one side of the equation you imply the other is at fault. If homosexuality does not, by itself doom the marriage then if the marriage falls apart it could be the fault of either party.
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