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The "ask Nehor" Column


The Nehor

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Posted (edited)

Dear Nehor,

               why a ******* sword? Katanas are prettier and better for removing Zombie's heads.

 

Swords are overrated.

 

I recommend a nice polearm. Keeps them at range.

Edited by The Nehor
Posted

Okay, since I'm not allowed to start topics I need a favor. I need a serious answer and the more the merrier. Dear Nehor if there's ever a time for you to be serious I'd hope it would be now, hehe. Here goes....every year my bro. & sis. in laws get together for mother in law and father in law's birthdays by going to the temple and dinner afterwards. For the first time since being married, now going on 30 yrs. mine and my husbands recommend has been expired for several months. We paid tithing and haven't done anything wrong except for having testimony issues, going in and out of belief in the church. Everyone of my in laws are TBM to their core. It is coming time to go the first of Nov. for father in law's birthday. They are both getting up there in age and I don't want to break their hearts. Would it be dishonest to hold a reccommend with feelings like these? My husband and I are about on the same page. I think we both want it to be true. Thanks for any help. Also, suggestions for handling the interview would be most appreciated if we go that route.

 

Hmmm....a difficult question. I recommend pickpocketing a recommend from another temple goer on the way in.

 

Seriously I would pray and ask God what He thinks you should do. Go with whatever He says.

Posted

Dear Nehor, 

                Should I control the Reapers? Sythesis, Destroy, or just Refuse the Star Brat.

                       

            Yours Truly,

                          Commander Shepard

Posted

Hmmm....a difficult question. I recommend pickpocketing a recommend from another temple goer on the way in.

Seriously I would pray and ask God what He thinks you should do. Go with whatever He says.

I like both answers, now do I listen to the little red devil on my shoulder or......
Posted (edited)

Dear Nehor,

 

I am puzzled as to why the magnanimous, eminently reasonable offer I made earlier in the thread to use my legal acumen (once I become licensed to practice law) for the low, low rate of $1,000.00 per hour to draft EULAs to confuse assist users of the column in understanding their legal rights and responsibilities has not yet been accepted. Although the threat I'm about to make is technically illegal because it constitutes extortion, since your tidy little "advice column" here only breaks (by my rough estimate) three state and four federal laws, I could throw you to the wolves by turning you in to the appropriate authorities.  However, I'm a patient man.  I'll give you 24 hours to accept my magnanimous, eminently reasonable offer ... before I start making phone calls.

 

Sincerely,

 

Kenngo1969, Esquire-to-Be

Edited by Kenngo1969
Posted

Time's up!  I've started making phone calls!  Please be prepared to have every inch of your digestive tract scrutinized by authorities!

 

"Hello, FBI?" ;)

Posted

Dear Nehor,

 

I am puzzled as to why the magnanimous, eminently reasonable offer I made earlier in the thread to use my legal acumen (once I become licensed to practice law) for the low, low rate of $1,000.00 per hour to draft EULAs to confuse assist users of the column in understanding their legal rights and responsibilities has not yet been accepted. Although the threat I'm about to make is technically illegal because it constitutes extortion, since your tidy little "advice column" here only breaks (by my rough estimate) three state and four federal laws, I could throw you to the wolves by turning you in to the appropriate authorities.  However, I'm a patient man.  I'll give you 24 hours to accept my magnanimous, eminently reasonable offer ... before I start making phone calls.

 

Sincerely,

 

Kenngo1969, Esquire-to-Be

 

I prefer to write my legal documents entirely in Haiku.

Posted (edited)
I prefer to write my legal documents entirely in Haiku.

 

 

How's this?

 

You have no rights, Bub!

You belong to me; got it?

We’re master-and-slave!

 

And it only took me the entirely-reasonable duration of 20 hours (that's $20,000, in case your calculator is broken  ;)) to research and draft.  I'm sure the check's in the mail!  Thanks in advance! ;):D

Edited by Kenngo1969
Posted

Two young women ,one blond from Finland and the other a brunette from Czechoslovakia, were camping in the Canadian Rockies when they were attacked and devoured by a pair of Grizzly bears. Some time after the girls were reported missing, the Game wardens tracked down the offending bears and shot them. One warden sliced open the female bear and found the remains of the Finnish girl. The other warden said, " well, it's obvious that the Czech is in the male. "

Any chance I can get a Comedy Central special ,Nehor ?

Posted

Two young women ,one blond from Finland and the other a brunette from Czechoslovakia, were camping in the Canadian Rockies when they were attacked and devoured by a pair of Grizzly bears. Some time after the girls were reported missing, the Game wardens tracked down the offending bears and shot them. One warden sliced open the female bear and found the remains of the Finnish girl. The other warden said, " well, it's obvious that the Czech is in the male. "

Any chance I can get a Comedy Central special ,Nehor ?

Dunno about the Comedy Central special, but here's a rim shot for you.  http://www.myinstants.com/instant/rimshot/  You'll be here all week, won't you? ;):D

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