Do We Overemphasize "Outward" Signs Of Righteousness?

[sweetpotatoh]

When we lose ourselves in service we find ourselves in Christ.

[blooit]

LOL - I remember being taught never to put a pen in your mouth because someone might think you were smoking.

[The Nehor]

Who is this "We"?

[BenMacKay]

If I understand the premise of the OP, I couldn't agree more. I think what happens is that too often we judge a person in our congregations by their outward behaviors and if we hear an inappropriate word or see someone whose skirt or shorts is a half centimeter too short, then that person is automatically categorized as less righteous and less perfect than we are. In my current calling (not in the intermountain west by the way) I see this far too often in both youth and in the adults. Too often youth are held hostage by their past mistakes by those who believe themselves more righteous; ; and their parents who don't want their kids dating or associating with those "bad examples." Why do we concern ourselves so much, sometimes, with these outward things? Yes outward behaviors are manifestations of internal commitments but we are far too judgemental when it comes to that.

And it goes both ways: I will never forget the YW who, with tears in her eyes, plead with me in my office to not recognize her recent rare accomplishment because too many perceived her as "too good" and resented for her innate, understated goodness; here was someone who demonstrated more charity to other youth than I have seen in a long time.

I know I've spoken in generalities here, but I have seen these attitudes causes too many prodigals or, in a much less dramatic sense, "less perfect" saints to feel unwelcome, unloved, and unwanted.

To me, Elder Wirthlin states it perfectly: "don't look down on those who are less perfect than you" (General Conference, April 2005). What a lesson for all of us!

Sorry again for the generalities here; this struck a nerve for me.

[BenMacKay]

Sorry for the grammatical errors also. Posted from an iPhone while trying to get my kids to sleep.

[Storm Rider]

Some people get caught up in the keeping the outward signs, go to church, go without food, do their home teaching, use no profane language, etc. These are the easy things of the gospel and can be compared to obeying the Law of Moses. The higher law, helping the fellow by the side of road, withholding any accusatory judgment of those caught in sin, putting in our two mites; another way of stating it is "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith...".

Learning to live by the Spirit is difficult and a life-long challenge. Seeking that rebirth, renewal of heart, and then continuing to walk in faith for the rest of one's life is the art of discipleship. In my own life I find that there have always been periods of strength and weakness. I wish I could say that as I have gotten older that the periods of weakness are much shorter, but that would not be true. The older I have gotten the more I realize that I am far weaker and far more of a sinner than I thought I was as a young man.

I really don't think it is wrong when people learn to obey even when their heart is not in it. Sterling W. Sill used to talk about the "as if" principle. If you want to be faithful act as if you are faithful. If you want to be disciplined then act as if you are faithful. The more we acted as if we were something the sooner we would acquire that characteristic. We each grow in separate ways and as long as we are moving forward with any degree of effort to follow Christ, all is well.

[cwald]

I think that both go hand in hand and compliment one another: church attendance and living the gospel. However, when I was a young adult the expression that was rather popular was 'avoid the appearance of evil'. This was even translated to mean that a coffee cup with hot chocolate in it could be confused with coffee to people watching someone drinking it. It was quite extreme back in the day. So your understanding today would have gotten short shift over 30 years ago.

Now I think that it is different. I think that there was just a talk in conference about living the gospel and how members should be seeking this and not just thinking that church attendance and callings are 'living the gospel'. I could be wrong about the basic meaning of the talk. So, I think that the stress is now on the gospel living. Ward gossip righteousness is never about righteousness.

But you are right. Joseph Smith said that he would rather be with someone who swore the length of his arm than with a righteous hypocrite.

. I love that man better who swears a stream as long as my arm, and administering to the poor and dividing his substance, than the long smooth faced hypocrites.

Words of Joseph Smith, p.204 (18 May 1843)

Thank you. This is what I expect to read on a board that purports to represent Christ. Thanks again.

[Alan]

I think Hugh Nibley hit the nail on the head when he said...."The worst sinners, according to Jesus, are not the harlots and the publicans, but the religious leaders with their insistance on proper dress and grooming, their careful observance of all the rules, their precious concern for status symbols, their strict legality, their pious patriotism.....the haircut becomes the test of virtue in a world where Satan deceives and rules by appearance."

[Yep]

As always, it is important to me to differentiate between Mormon culture and The Church of Jesus Christ. The church remains true, even when the culture surrounding it takes some pretty serious detours.

I wonder if Mormon culture, particularly in the inter-mountain area, is missing the boat a bit when it comes to what constitutes righteousness. We seem to place great emphasis on "outward" signs of righteousness like:

• modesty
  
• language
  
• the word of wisdom
  
• hometeaching numbers
  

but sometimes place less emphasis on more "inward" signs of righteousness like:

• kindness
  
• charity
  
• anonymous service
  
• a personal relationship with Jesus Christ
  

I think (obviously) more inward indicators of righteousness are by nature less apparent, but it really concerns me when I see (in my self or others), those who would never think of swearing, but will smear the names of others with gossip; those who will not even speak to someone who smokes, but will treat their family with contempt and cruelty; or those who walk away when someone tells a questionable joke or openly rebuke them, but will not stop and help a person in need.

God clearly gave us the litmus test of discipleship in John 13:

³⁴ A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

³⁵ By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

As I've gotten older, I've become much more tolerant of people's outward behaviors and much more concerned with their "love one to another." Maybe I'm headed for trouble, but I'd much rather associate with a swearing, drinking friend who has love and kindness in their heart, than the "righteous" ward gossip. I wonder if we are not headed for similar trouble as the pharisees who sought after the praise of men and recognition for their "righteousness."

I wanted to comment here, but I have not and probably will not read through all of the responses. Given this I apologize if my response is redundant.

I believe that the answer to your question is yes and no.

Some comments I saw referred to Christ "hanging out with the wrong crowd." Christ met with, ate with, befriended, etc. people who were considered the wrong crowd through their profession and the stereotype of their profession or their familial heritage of roman, greek, samaritan, etc. The scriptures do not speak of Christ spending time with those who were immoral or doing things that were in conflict with Christ's teachings aside from when they sought him out to learn from him or to attempt a debate with the intent of proving their position correct.

I have been having this topic on my mind repeatedly recently as my children choose their peers and my wife and I decide how best to interact with people that we know to be doing things that are not in keeping with what we believe to be morally correct. A few of the questions we have been asked or asked ourselves have been the following:

Shouldn't we be open to these people and help them be better through this?

Am I not a better example up close than at a distance?

Are we loving our neighbor if we keep ourselves seperated from them?

In response we have decided that our children should choose friends that they wish to be like. If they choose friends that are doing things that conflict with being a good and moral person, our children should be a good example and hold their morals close. If these friends continue to do things that contradict what we and our children believe to be "wrong" then the friendship must be distanced and until a time that their actions are more in line with gospel principles that we wish to hold to.

As adults, I fail to see how we can justify such counsel to our children if we do not follow it ourselves.

In this, we do not judge the person, although those who are doing improper things will often wish to claim we are judging them. We are simply not interacting with a harmful influence. We have many friends that do things that are inapropriate and often dress in a manner that we view as immodest. We have limited our interaction with them. This is not due to a judgement of them as people, it is simply that we do not wish to be exposed to these things.

Are these people evil? No. These people are sometimes some of the best people we know. However, if they choose to be around us, they make the conscious effort to not do the things that we feel are morally offensive. These friends are not offended, but it is our manner and how this has happened that has led to this.

Now, for the yes rationale. Many individuals in the Church tend to equate the person with the appearance and/or the act. A smoker may desire to stop, perhaps be a wonderful person, etc. yet many LDS will view the person more harshly than they deserve. The same with other items that fit in this topic.

A woman I know was inactive, smoked, had an anti-LDS husband. She had a great amount of faith and believed in the Church, yet her husband and other things had led her into inactivity but not unbelief. She was one of the most Christ-like people that I knew. She later divorced and remarried. She did not change anything except for stopping smoking and drinking and start going to church. Members of the ward now say how much she has changed. She has not changed much, she has just begun being active. Perhaps if the ward had known her before her divorce maybe they could have helped her do these things earlier and not have been a part of what was holding her back.

I guess overall I don't really know, but I feel that the answer is yes and no. We need to be careful about the influences we place ourselves in contact with without judging and placing stumbling blocks in front of those that are already struggling.

[Calm]

I kind of think Nibley was wrong, horrors of horrors. A harlot could be a worst sinner depending on what was in her heart, the cause of her sin, same thing with the publican, same thing with the religious leaders. People are differently motivated even if they perform the same action, the cause of that action...the intent of their heart is important as the action of their sin. And one shouldn't forget the consequence of that sin. If a harlot seduces a man and contributes to the breakup of a family, the cost of her choices is very high and possibly much higher than the frustration that family felt when confronted with the requirement to dress a certain way, etc. If a publican destroys a family by defrauding them financially for his own personal gain, that would be a deep sin as well.

Having said that, someone who focuses on appearance of righteousness and not righteousness itself is not focusing on what God desires of us and there may be severe eternal consequences for that person depending on how he chose to live and influence others.

Edited July 2, 2012 by calmoriah

[Doctor Steuss]

Hi Blooit,

I think that many cases, it’s the “outward signs” that bring about inward change (my apologies if that comes across as a trite cliché).

Although I am no longer a believing member, and no longer attend church, the Elder’s Quorum President of the ward I live within knows that he can always call me when he needs another able body for service projects, helping people to move, and so on. After I participate in that “outward sign” of service, I notice I feel better about myself (which is one of my selfish delights in helping others), and that for a short time afterwards I am resolute to be nicer and more understanding towards my fellow man. In the simplest terms: I become a better person.

My brother once said something to me when I was walking through one of my psychological deserts that has stayed with me. He said: “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself, and the best way to lose yourself is to give of yourself.”

My heretical $.02,

-Stu

[3DOP]

Hi Blooit,

I think that many cases, it’s the “outward signs” that bring about inward change (my apologies if that comes across as a trite cliché).

Although I am no longer a believing member, and no longer attend church, the Elder’s Quorum President of the ward I live within knows that he can always call me when he needs another able body for service projects, helping people to move, and so on. After I participate in that “outward sign” of service, I notice I feel better about myself (which is one of my selfish delights in helping others), and that for a short time afterwards I am resolute to be nicer and more understanding towards my fellow man. In the simplest terms: I become a better person.

My brother once said something to me when I was walking through one of my psychological deserts that has stayed with me. He said: “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself, and the best way to lose yourself is to give of yourself.”

My heretical $.02,

-Stu

Hey Stu...long time no see...don't be a stranger. I think your brother was borrowing from the Gospel. Losing ourselves? Very true I think. But easier said than done. That's a lifelong project that needs supernatural intervention according to my faith.

God bless,

3DOP