If You Were Dying; Would You Call Your Child Home From A Mission.

[alter idem]

In this case there is a very good chance that this young man’s baby brother will be gone before he gets home. It is a 100% chance he will die before 10 or 11 (now 8 just baptized), this missionary lost his sister tot the same disease. Chances are about 90% he know his big brother (the 8 year old) when he gets home. I am just struggling with this and needed some opinions. I don’t get life and the death of children very well. This missionary’s Father was just in a serious accident…yet they press on, they truly are my hero’s. The son on a mission is my son’s best friend, he is in AZ.

Be in prayer for the Crawford Family

Steve

Cindy

John

Will (the missionary)

Brent

Aaron, the child I am speaking of…

Julie has already gone home at 10 years of age.

Thanks for giving more info on the situation Papa.

With the additional information, my opinion is that the best thing for your friend to do is counsel with his Stake President. They can determine together about contacting the Mission President to let him know of the situation. I suspect that if it is the same disease, the missionary may not be surprised that another sibling has it. I think I'd want the Mission Pres. informed because he has been called and set apart and is in a position to receive revelation for the missionary.

I would not put any pressure on the missionary to return; I'd leave any decisions regarding that up to the missionary in counsel with his Mission President as events unfold.

If it was me, I'd say this is the time when my faith and trust in God is put to the test. Do I trust my Heavenly Father and believe that whatever may come, I can still love him and trust him? I would pray and fast for the healing of my child, or at least that my child would live to see his missionary sibling return, but I would also try to pray to accept that my Heavenly Father may have another plan in mind and that I can pray for peace and comfort to accept it.

When tragedies come to us, the scripture that comes to my mind is this (paraphrased):

'The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord'

If we love the Lord, if we trust him, if we have a firm testimony of the Plan of Salvation, if we have real faith that Jesus died for us and was resurrected, if we truly believe in the promises made in the temple that we will be together again in the eternities, never to be parted, then we can get through any trials that come our way in this mortal existence.

Edited August 1, 2011 by alter idem

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

Thanks for giving more info on the situation Papa.

With the additional information, my opinion is that the best thing for your friend to do is counsel with his Stake President. They can determine together about contacting the Mission President to let him know of the situation. I suspect that if it is the same disease, the missionary may not be surprised that another sibling has it. I think I'd want the Mission Pres. informed because he has been called and set apart and is in a position to receive revelation for the missionary.

I would not put any pressure on the missionary to return; I'd leave any decisions regarding that up to the missionary in counsel with his Mission President as events unfold.

If it was me, I'd say this is the time when my faith and trust in God is put to the test. Do I trust my Heavenly Father and believe that whatever may come, I can still love him and trust him? I would pray and fast for the healing of my child, or at least that my child would live to see his missionary sibling return, but I would also try to pray to accept that my Heavenly Father may have another plan in mind and that I can pray for peace and comfort to accept it.

When tragedies come to us, the scripture that comes to my mind is this (paraphrased):

'The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord'

If we love the Lord, if we trust him, if we have a firm testimony of the Plan of Salvation, if we have real faith that Jesus died for us and was resurrected, if we truly believe in the promises made in the temple that we will be together again in the eternities, never to be parted, then we can get through any trials that come our way in this mortal existence.

He knew when he left, he had to watch his sister die. Maybe this is better for him? Aaron was baptized on Saturday. I know the pain they are all in…I just hurt for them and wonder if Will, “will” be OK? He and Caleb are good friends they both write from their respective missions. I would consider it the worst h*** to lose one child, but two! From what I understand it will be a very painful death for their baby boy. I don’t know I just am having trouble wrapping my heart and mind around this. KTG, they would never “demand”, or with their faith ask for him to come home. But if it gets down to months…I know what I would do. BTW, I love the Lord, I just don't always understand what he is doing.

[Libs]

I don't think any of us know God's larger plan. We just have to trust that it will all work out for the best, in the end.

So sorry to hear about the struggles going on in the Crawford family. They will be in my prayers.

The burdens that some families carry just seem so overwhelming....

[One Clear Voice]

On my mission, one of my companions lost his father unexpectedly, and It was never a question or a request that was needed. The Mission President insisted he be sent him home to Honor his father. He returned in a timely manner and not only finished but extended for a week to make up the lost time.

[Messenger]

On my mission, one of my companions lost his father unexpectedly, and It was never a question or a request that was needed. The Mission President insisted he be sent him home to Honor his father. He returned in a timely manner and not only finished but extended for a week to make up the lost time.

Heavenly Father is truly a man of compassion. Perhaps we fall short of truly understanding that. Sacrifice is something that is a personal decision, and is best made with the consultation of Heavenly Father. We often ask ourselves, why me? However, just as often, perhaps we do no wait to hear the answer. There are legions of people that seem to know God's will instantly and quickly give their opinion as if some equation can be used to determine what we do next. Love is not an equation.

Papa, I would gladly give up my life for my family to know, feel & experience the love your family has for each other. I encourage you to find out what Heavenly Fathers plan is for you and your family.

Edited August 2, 2011 by Messenger

[Kenngo1969]

A for real debate with a fiend. I think it should happen. Some things you cannot get back.

Never debate with fiends! You'll always lose! (Sorry; couldn't resist ...)

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

Never debate with fiends! You'll always lose! (Sorry; couldn't resist ...)

Good advice.

[cinepro]

Honestly, the distance would be a factor for me. If they're serving stateside, it's a relatively minor trip to get home. If they're in Russia or China (oh yeah, I said "China"), it's a different consideration.

My grandfather died while my dad was on a mission in Australia. He didn't come home, and I've never asked him if he regretted it or not. But back in the 60's, getting back from Australia (and then going back) would have been a major undertaking.

Edited August 2, 2011 by cinepro

[One Clear Voice]

Honestly, the distance would be a factor for me. If they're serving stateside, it's a relatively minor trip to get home. If they're in Russia or China (oh yeah, I said "China"), it's a different consideration.

My grandfather died while my dad was on a mission in Australia. He didn't come home, and I've never asked him if he regretted it or not. But back in the 60's, getting back from Australia (and then going back) would have been a major undertaking.

Didn't the Church finance more Missions back in the 60's? I know it wasn't a commandment back then and a lot of families couldn't afford to send their son's, and Daughters hardly ever were called.

[alter idem]

Didn't the Church finance more Missions back in the 60's?

No, the responsibility for paying for missions has always been with the family. For a while now, the church has a missionary fund where members can donate and Wards will sometimes support a missionary.

I know it wasn't a commandment back then and a lot of families couldn't afford to send their son's, and Daughters hardly ever were called.

Is it considered a 'commandment'?

My understanding is that church leaders believe it is an obligation that every worthy young man who is able to, should serve a mission.

Women have served in earlier times, not as many as young men, but it is not an obligation for young women to serve.

[One Clear Voice]

No, the responsibility for paying for missions has always been with the family. For a while now, the church has a missionary fund where members can donate and Wards will sometimes support a missionary.

Is it considered a 'commandment'?

My understanding is that church leaders believe it is an obligation that every worthy young man who is able to, should serve a mission.

Women have served in earlier times, not as many as young men, but it is not an obligation for young women to serve.

My apologies, I was under the impression that It was made a Commandment, only in recent years. When I served my Mission it seemed more like it was expected or assumed one would go more than a commandment. I also remember my parents getting help from the Church while I was out. Our family donates often to the Missionary funds. I have heard of two Members here, one a businessman the other a Lawyer who donate thousands of dollars a year to the fund, but one who only helps those family's who cannot afford to send their children out at all. I have heard he has financed a bunch too which is admirable. Also, I think more young women should go out, what a great experience for them for preparing for life and marriage.

[Messenger]

My apologies, I was under the impression that It was made a Commandment, only in recent years. When I served my Mission it seemed more like it was expected or assumed one would go more than a commandment. I also remember my parents getting help from the Church while I was out. Our family donates often to the Missionary funds. I have heard of two Members here, one a businessman the other a Lawyer who donate thousands of dollars a year to the fund, but one who only helps those family's who cannot afford to send their children out at all. I have heard he has financed a bunch too which is admirable. Also, I think more young women should go out, what a great experience for them for preparing for life and marriage.

I think the proper way to describe a mission is Preisthood Duty rather than commandment. I paid for mine back in 1983. But back then you had your money in an account, and you spent what you had for your particular country. Now missions cost XXX dollars, you pay the church and they distribute the funds to you every month. Which is a lot better, because the estimated monthly cost of my mission wasnt nearly enough to pay for it. I was out of money in 12 months and I lost a lot of weight trying to save my funds, I got down to 125 lbs! I started at 185lbs. My mom and dad about freaked out when I came back. They kinda got upset at the church. I was fine with it - it was cool to be skinny! But the stake covered the rest of my 18 months along with what the insurance didnt pay for on my surgury. Again, I was fine with everything - just a little disappointed in my Mission President for not supporting my decision to have an operation back in the states.

Edited August 4, 2011 by Messenger

[Calm]

Honestly, the distance would be a factor for me. If they're serving stateside, it's a relatively minor trip to get home. If they're in Russia or China (oh yeah, I said "China"), it's a different consideration.

My grandfather died while my dad was on a mission in Australia. He didn't come home, and I've never asked him if he regretted it or not. But back in the 60's, getting back from Australia (and then going back) would have been a major undertaking.

There are also visas and other documents required in some countries that may result in the missionary not being able to return to his mission if he leaves it so it may be a choice of not returning to the same place, which may mean not using all that s/he has learned in a language or culture during the remaining time (assuming s/he goes back into the mission field after returning home).

[frankenstein]

If the missionary was in the United States, Canada, or Western 1st world European Country, I might go see the missionary child if I was dying.

If travel was out of the question I would do as was suggested by Jeff K. write a letter about how proud I was and do as bluebell, write as many letters as possible.

-------

though it is appears heartless, Christ said concerning one that would follow him who asked to first return home and bury kin "Let the dead bury the dead"

[cinepro]

Didn't the Church finance more Missions back in the 60's? I know it wasn't a commandment back then and a lot of families couldn't afford to send their son's, and Daughters hardly ever were called.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but until the early 1990's, didn't families actually pay for "actual" mission expenses? This meant that if a son was called to Argentina, the family might pay $80/month, but if another son was sent to Japan, they might pay $400/month.

The program was evened out in the early 1990's so every missionary family pays the same amount into the mission fund ($~350/month when I went, if I recall), and then each missionary gets a monthly stipend based on the economics of his mission area.

[Jeff K.]

I paid for my own mission. As an emancipated youth my parents had no obligation to pay. Luckily I ended up in the cheapest mission in the world at that time, Peru for 90/month. Later a close family had trouble paying for their child's mission, I sent four checks with instructions of anonymity to their bishop. It was just enough for them to make it. Whether evened out or by family contributions, the blessings remain the same, I rarely felt happier when it I helped.

If a family member is in bad straights, I believe the church would release that person to go home with full honor of having served and enduring to the end.

Edited March 19, 2012 by Jeff K.

[Messenger]

I paid for my own mission. As an emancipated youth my parents had no obligation to pay. Luckily I ended up in the cheapest mission in the world at that time, Peru for 90/month. Later a close family had trouble paying for their child's mission, I four checks with instructions of anonymity to their bishop. It was just enough for them to make it. Whether evened out or by family contributions, the blessings remain the same, I rarely felt happier when it I helped.

If a family member is in bad straights, I believe the church would release that person to go home with full honor of having served and enduring to the end.

Jeff,

I was pretty close to having to end it after a year. I was lucky that someone stepped in. To be honest, I think they felt sorry for me because I lost 50 lbs in 10 months. I wish I could help someone on their mission with finances. But instead I try to do the member missionary work, and anything else I can. Thats awesome of you to help out in that way. Im sure the person who paid the remainder of my mission was the person who baptised me. He has been a lifelong friend, even to this day. Someday I'd like to find out if he did do that and thank him.

Mark

[Messenger]

I don't think any of us know God's larger plan.

I dont think there are any restrictions to know any of Gods Plans for us. He may sometimes test us with faith, but that doesnt automatically mean that we can not know the future of our lives, and the direction he wishes us to take and why. Once we know it, and take an active part in it, we are much more likey to follow them because we become an active partner in the perfecting of our own being.

There has been more than one occasion where I have been told of future events in my life. Sometimes because these events are so difficult to overcome, that we are told in order that we can prepare for them and bear them.

There are many people that have told me that I couldn't get an answer to something. But my experience has been that if I study something out in my mind and take it to the Lord, he will tell me the answer, whatever I ask. The only restriction I know of is my own doubt.

[cinepro]

If a family member is in bad straights, I believe the church would release that person to go home with full honor of having served and enduring to the end.

My mission president's family and business went to crap when he was on his mission, so he was released a year early so he could go home and attend to his duties.

[Wants2know]

I know i'm new to this. But definitely YES. If family is the foundation of the church, every effort should be made to be present for one another during the most challenging times.

[followerofemmanuel]

I would give my child the choice to come home or to stay in mission. I personally believe that we are also called to minister to our families too, so I would pray for guidance.

When my Father was ill, I spent two weeks with before he passed away. It took me along time to grieve his loss because I never had the chance to really say goodbye as he was in a coma. I thank God that the last thing I ever said to him before his stroke was "thank you and I love you". I am so thankful that I could be by his side whille he was in the hospital just so that he was surronded with love.

My Mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was given only up to 6 months to live, as it turned out she was alive for only 2 months from time of her diagnosis. I cared for my Mother for those 2 months (as I took a leave from work). It was a very difficult time of sacrifice but also the most incredible privalege I have ever had, to honour my parents in their final season in this life and through serving them in practical ways, advocating for them through the medical system to ensure they would get proper care etc. Being with my Mom meant that I could care for her at home where she was comfortable (until the very end). The time I spent with my Mother was the most precious gift of time and I will forever be thankful for.

Edited March 19, 2012 by followerofemmanuel

[ERayR]

I paid for my own mission. As an emancipated youth my parents had no obligation to pay. Luckily I ended up in the cheapest mission in the world at that time, Peru for 90/month. Later a close family had trouble paying for their child's mission, I four checks with instructions of anonymity to their bishop. It was just enough for them to make it. Whether evened out or by family contributions, the blessings remain the same, I rarely felt happier when it I helped.

If a family member is in bad straights, I believe the church would release that person to go home with full honor of having served and enduring to the end.

Before having to end their missions because of lack of funds the home ward would be called on to help with finances. Most wards have a missionary fund available for just such circumstances.

[Buzzard]

This is not exactly the situation you described, since death is not imminent, but it is close enough to hit home.

Before my daughter left, I was diagnosed with a recurrence of cancer that is incurable. She almost didn't go, but after much prayer and a blessing that she would see me again after her mission, she turned in her papers and has now been out a year. It is 99% certain that I will survive to her homecoming and probably for some time beyond that point. But it was not medically certain at the time of her departure by any means. In a wierd sort of way, my condition has added a measure of closeness and spiritual intimacy, since I might be fairly ill by the time she gets home. Luckily, the treatment has been fairly effective and the tumors are not currently growing, but it still was an act of faith and sacrifice by my daughter to leave for 18 months. In our case, the answer was clearly for her to head out to serve the Lord with faith that all would turn out OK on the home front.

Edited March 19, 2012 by Buzzard

[Jeff K.]

Some will see that as evidence of your faith, others will not. I do think the action or act of faith encouraging your daughter to go and do what is important reflects that you are thinking of her long term rather than yourself. That is the epitome of being Christlike, thinking of others, even when we approach our won mortality and desires.

[LeSellers]

Having been in the missionary's position, I can say that I'm somewhat torn between the two positions. However, in the long run I am grateful that my mother did not ask that I come home, rather much the contrary: she asked that I stay, and even told Dad that he should not let me come home early.

I am sad that I was not able to say "goodbye": I didn't even know she was in the hospital, much less terminal. I knew she was ill—she had been for five years or more, but she'd always come back.

On the other hand, I will see her again, and that's a comfort. I was able to complete my full 2½ year mission, and find and baptize a great family after she left. Who knows the man I'd be without those experiences? Nothing I could have done in Salt Lake City that winter, 44 years ago last week, would have made any difference in her health. What I actually did do in France was valuable. The funeral was on tape, so I heard the speeches, and cried as much as if I had been there.

I'm far from the only person to have lost loved ones without being able to say farewell. I am thankful for my knowledge of the Gospel and that fact of death's being nothing more than a doorway into eternity. Many who share such a loss do not have that assurance. They deserve our sympathies: for them, the door is a wall, impregnable and unyielding.

Lehi

Edited March 19, 2012 by LeSellers