If You Were Dying; Would You Call Your Child Home From A Mission.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

Having been in the missionary's position, I can say that I'm somewhat torn between the two positions. However, in the long run I am grateful that my mother did not ask that I come home, rather much the contrary: she asked that I stay, and even told Dad that he should not let me come home early.

I am sad that I was not able to say "goodbye": I didn't even know she was in the hospital, much less terminal. I knew she was ill—she had been for five years or more, but she'd always come back.

On the other hand, I will see her again, and that's a comfort. I was able to complete my full 2½ year mission, and find and baptize a great family after she left. Who knows the man I'd be without those experiences? Nothing I could have done in Salt Lake City that winter, 44 years ago last week, would have made any difference in her health. What I actually did do in France was valuable. The funeral was on tape, so I heard the speeches, and cried as much as if I had been there.

I'm far from the only person to have lost loved ones without being able to say farewell. I am thankful for my knowledge of the Gospel and that fact of death's being nothing more than a doorway into eternity. Many who share such a loss do not have that assurance. They deserve our sympathies: for them, the door is a wall, impregnable and unyielding.

Lehi

I have had time to think about this question a bit more, now So if this were the condition, and he asked to come home, I would drive out there myself and pick him up. However I would not tell him what to do, I would leave the decision to him. I realize now that he would do as I told him and I would not want to tell him the wrong thing. I have also come to realize that that you should always do the “right thing”, instead of doing what others might think is the “right thing”.

I am sorry for the loss of your mother at such a young age.

[LeSellers]

I have had time to think about this question a bit more, now So if this were the condition, and he asked to come home, I would drive out there myself and pick him up. However I would not tell him what to do, I would leave the decision to him. I realize now that he would do as I told him and I would not want to tell him the wrong thing. I have also come to realize that that you should always do the “right thing”, instead of doing what others might think is the “right thing”.

What "the right thing" is is personal, and, because of that, emotional in most cases.

From a different vantage point, I can see the decision I may have made would have been very much "right" in my 20-year-old eyes, and very wrong in my 64-year-old view. It would be nice if no one had to make those choices, but, eventually, we all do, and these life-changing events must be made from a one-over-the-world vantage point, lest we miss the forest because the trees block our sight.

I was not severely tempted to go home. I hope it was at least partly because I didn't want to, but to remain and serve God, but it is at least plausible that Mom's request/demand was ballast that kept my ship upright in the storm.

I am sorry for the loss of your mother at such a young age.

Thank you for your support. It has been a long time. The sting is long gone, but the scar, however much faded, remains.

Lehi

Edited March 19, 2012 by LeSellers

[Jeff K.]

I agree, there isn't automatically a wrong choice here, especially if you pray about it, and most will simply give the reasoning from their own anecdotal standpoint rather than a clear sign as to what to do.

[Calm]

This is not exactly the situation you described, since death is not imminent, but it is close enough to hit home.

Before my daughter left, I was diagnosed with a recurrence of cancer that is incurable. She almost didn't go, but after much prayer and a blessing that she would see me again after her mission, she turned in her papers and has now been out a year. It is 99% certain that I will survive to her homecoming and probably for some time beyond that point. But it was not medically certain at the time of her departure by any means. In a wierd sort of way, my condition has added a measure of closeness and spiritual intimacy, since I might be fairly ill by the time she gets home. Luckily, the treatment has been fairly effective and the tumors are not currently growing, but it still was an act of faith and sacrifice by my daughter to leave for 18 months. In our case, the answer was clearly for her to head out to serve the Lord with faith that all would turn out OK on the home front.

Buzzard, I have to say that knowing this about you casts a whole additional layer to your posts, which I have been enjoying greatly.....I will now savour them that much more.

[Buzzard]

Buzzard, I have to say that knowing this about you casts a whole additional layer to your posts, which I have been enjoying greatly.....I will now savour them that much more.

I appreciate that, but I don't feel like much of a hero/martyr . I'm just an ordinary guy with more drs. appointments than honest folks. The mortgage still has to be paid, and except for the very top management at work, no one knows. For some reason, my wife still wants me to take out the garbage every night. When I am asked if there have been any thoughts that inspire me, my favorite has and continues to be the immortal words of Monty Python-"I'm not dead yet".

Edited March 19, 2012 by Buzzard

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

What "the right thing" is is personal, and, because of that, emotional in most cases.

For a believer I would hope it would be after prayer and fasting. Even if “emotional”; having a child see a parent one more time could never be a “wrong thing”. Since this is the “Social Hall” I was giving “my” opinion about what “I” would do.

[LeSellers]

For a believer I would hope it would be after prayer and fasting. Even if “emotional”; having a child see a parent one more time could never be a “wrong thing”. Since this is the “Social Hall” I was giving “my” opinion about what “I” would do.

I don't see where we disagree.

I gave my experience. I did not say it was binding on anyone else.

Lehi

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

I don't see where we disagree.

I gave my experience. I did not say it was binding on anyone else.

Lehi

I actually agree...most decisions are emotional. I was just pointing out that in this case "I believe" there is not "wrong or right" decision..just one that is made.

[Mansquatch]

No. My father died while I was on a mission in Las Vegas and I stayed out and would never choose otherwise. That said, the choice would completely be my child's to make. I would not be the one calling them home.