Duncan Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 So my little sister is busy or whatever and I need a woman's opinion. Here is the thing. I have a dear, dear female friend of mine who is dating this man. She has helped me out so much I love her to pieces but just as a friend though, if I lived where she does I would probably try to date her ( she lives two provinces over which isn't the end of the world but far enough away so that I ain't walking it to try their bread). Anyways, I saw a picture of her with this other friend who I know is LDS and my word alive is this friend of her um, rather quite striking or whatever and I wouldn't mind becoming friends with her, just like email, I have travelled out there some times but I haven't met this one friend of hers, I have heard some things about her and I think we are compatible in those areas, so do I say anything to my friend? Like heaven's to murgatroyd! who is your friend?! I don't know if she is dating, I know she isn't married, I wouldn't say anything if my friend wasn't dating but because she is should I say something but if I do I don't want to comes across as a creep or weirdo, which I am not, What do you think? I don't want to ruin anything with my friend and lose her trying to befriend this other woman
MorningStar Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Does your friend have feelings for you at all? If not, if you were to ask about this woman, she might just offer on her own to set you guys up. Once a friend in choir asked me about the girl I sat next to and I was immediately all excited to arrange their meeting. They later got married.
Duncan Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 Does your friend have feelings for you at all? If not, if you were to ask about this woman, she might just offer on her own to set you guys up. Once a friend in choir asked me about the girl I sat next to and I was immediately all excited to arrange their meeting. They later got married. Feelings? Um, probably no more then friends from what I gather. Her and I go way , way back and we lost touch for literally 20 years and then reconnected through FB like two years ago and have been writing ever since, BUT ever since I have gotten back in touch with her she has had a boyfriend, none of whom has worked out so I don't think any like "i'm waiting out these guys here hoping you (little old me) moves here so come quick!) type feelings, but not too sure, she wouldn't write me if she didn't like me even as a friend, so I don't want to rattle her cage as they say and say wowzers who's the woman?
TAO Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I feel for ya' dude! You might have to be more direct... with the person I would like to date when she is 16, I had to be a bit more direct. The more direct you are, the more easy things will go =).Not a woman's advice, but eh.Also, you should probably wait in case the boy and her really do decide to get married... although that'd be kinda depressing for you, I know =/.
Duncan Posted January 16, 2011 Author Posted January 16, 2011 I feel for ya' dude! You might have to be more direct... with the person I would like to date when she is 16, I had to be a bit more direct. The more direct you are, the more easy things will go =).Not a woman's advice, but eh.Also, you should probably wait in case the boy and her really do decide to get married... although that'd be kinda depressing for you, I know =/.thanks! Her and this fellow...may be awhile she is active and he isn't a member and she wants to marry a member...so something will have to change in that respect!
bluebell Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 I say, just ask her about her friend. If she has feelings for you and doesn't want you dating her friends, she's not going to be offended that you asked about another girl (she has a boyfriend so she's not waiting for you to get a clue or anything), at the most she'll just pretend the girl isn't available.If she doesn't have feelings for you (which seems likely) then, if the girl is available, she'll probably be excited to try and set you two up-girls love to play match-maker.If you want to feel her about a little bit, tell her that you want to expand your friendship pool of women as you look for someone to date and ask her if she has any friends that she could introduce you to, over email or facebook or whatever, that you could get to know at first on a long-distance basis. It's a place to start, if you don't want to be direct and just ask her about the one specific girl.Good luck!
Deborah Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 My suggestion is to suggest you get together just to reminisce over old times and then see what vibes you get when you see her in person.
katherine the great Posted January 16, 2011 Posted January 16, 2011 Quit being so shy Duncan! Ask your friend if her friend is available and if she is, ask her to introduce you to her. Carpe Diem or die!
TAO Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Like Katherine says, go direct approach... but only when the time is right.
Duncan Posted January 17, 2011 Author Posted January 17, 2011 Well, here is an update on this situation and thanks for everything by the way. I talked on FB with a friend of hers but she doesn't know her too well and she told em some more stuff about her, I took the advice here and was just bold and said so tell me about Prunella? and she (this friend who doesn't know that well) told me she is very nice, she didn't know if she was dating, and she served a mission...well a RM, possibly single and great looking, put me over the moon and this friend is going to keep me updated, so we will see! and yeah, I want to feel this out and see where it goes
bluebell Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Just don't feel it out too long. You don't want to miss getting to know her because some other guy beat you to it.
Jigglysaint Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 I don't think it would be that creepy. Creepy is when you already have a girlfriend and can't get another girl out of your mind for about a year, and eventually your girlfriend finds out and it's like she's jealous and posessive of you and it turns you off but you can't leave because she's disabled and you are a big part of her support circle and the other girl is way too disabled for you anyway.Enjoy your normal life and your normal dilemmas.
Garden Girl Posted January 17, 2011 Posted January 17, 2011 Hello Duncan...It's been so many years since I've had similar quandaries... but if you're really interested in the friend of your friend, I wouldn't let too much time pass before contacting her. Don't think other fellows aren't having the same reaction to her that you have had and so they will most likely be asking her out. To break the ice you might email/FB her and mention that while talking to your friend she mentioned her serving a mission... then ask about her mission, etc. It's an opening... (of course this is coming from a 70 year old woman...yikes... so I'm pretty out of it when it comes to these situations...ha!). But I want to encourage you and wish you well.GG
Duncan Posted January 18, 2011 Author Posted January 18, 2011 I want to move on this and yet as the Wicked Witch of the West once said, "These things must be done delicately" so I'm torn. My friend emailed her just inquiring about her situation and so once she emails back then I will be in the loop and know better how to respond, so it hangs in this sacred email for now anyways! 1
Duncan Posted January 29, 2011 Author Posted January 29, 2011 Update. I emailed my friend about her friend about two hours ago maybe and she hasn't responded yet, I feel worrisome and kind of sick!! I just want to dig a hole underneath an abandoned bus and eat comfort food!!!
TAO Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 Update. I emailed my friend about her friend about two hours ago maybe and she hasn't responded yet, I feel worrisome and kind of sick!! I just want to dig a hole underneath an abandoned bus and eat comfort food!!!Duncan, take a deep breath, and just chillax a bit. Sometimes it takes some time. The person I like sometimes doesn't respond to me for a week - and I haven't even got to dating her yet. So take a deep breath, don't lose confidence, and know that we all know how tough it is, but it will be worth it =).
Duncan Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 So my friend responded. She wasn't terribly thrilled that I think her friend is cute and I found out that this girl is dating...I feel like turtle vomit...
bluebell Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 So my friend responded. She wasn't terribly thrilled that I think her friend is cute and I found out that this girl is dating...I feel like turtle vomit...That stinks. It's hard to get excited about something and then find out it's not possible (at least, not at the moment).How do you know your friend wasn't thrilled that you thought her friend was cute? Did she say that or are you thinking she gave off that vibe?
Duncan Posted January 31, 2011 Author Posted January 31, 2011 That stinks. It's hard to get excited about something and then find out it's not possible (at least, not at the moment).How do you know your friend wasn't thrilled that you thought her friend was cute? Did she say that or are you thinking she gave off that vibe?Yes, it does stink! Oh well though, I have been down that road many, many times. She wrote that I am in no position to get married to someone there, which isn't what i was suggesting... so I think she misread my email but either way her friend isn't available, nuts!!!
TAO Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 (edited) Yes, it does stink! Oh well though, I have been down that road many, many times. She wrote that I am in no position to get married to someone there, which isn't what i was suggesting... so I think she misread my email but either way her friend isn't available, nuts!!!I'm so sorry dude =/. I feel for ya'.Currently I'm waiting for my person to send messages back to me via IRL and she hasn't responded in a week. I am getting worried =0. She doesn't like the idea of dating/dancing/anything like that, and so I've sorta had to 'poke' her to be willing to even consider dating (in March), and I'm worried she is changing her mind =(. Edited January 31, 2011 by TAO
MorningStar Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Hey, at least you went for it instead of wondering what might have happened if you had pursued it. 1
iwantpop Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 That stinks. It's hard to get excited about something and then find out it's not possible (at least, not at the moment).How do you know your friend wasn't thrilled that you thought her friend was cute? Did she say that or are you thinking she gave off that vibe?I need a womans opinion... i keep meeting women who already have boyfriends that are away or never come to where they work and then the woman does not tell me this till we have known each other a good while... what should i do? also incubator babies what do women think of incubator babies? like a six month old premature baby.
iwantpop Posted February 13, 2011 Posted February 13, 2011 I need a womans opinion... i keep meeting women who already have boyfriends that are away or never come to where they work and then the woman does not tell me this till we have known each other a good while... what should i do? also incubator babies what do women think of incubator babies? like a six month old premature baby.also what are good dates under 5 dollars
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