Someone from our ward finally reached out to us

[ZealouslyStriving]

10 hours ago, Notatbm said:

I don’t know about giving me any space. We just stopped showing up. No fanfare just disappeared. The fact our subdivision is the boundary of our ward and my property along borders with three other ward members just on my side of the street alone people know we have not gone anywhere and are alive. 
 

no one has reached out. That said I don’t really care, just surprised as my whole existence in the church we as home teachers and the women in relief society were essentially tasked with borderline harassing people to come back. Since that’s not going on I’m thankful.

Make up your mind.

You say you are thankful no one is "harassing" you, yet you are on here going on about how no one has reached out to you.

Will anything actually satisfy you??

[Notatbm]

11 hours ago, ZealouslyStriving said:

Make up your mind.

You say you are thankful no one is "harassing" you, yet you are on here going on about how no one has reached out to you.

Will anything actually satisfy you??

What is on display here is the fakeness of the church membership (at least in my ward). 
 

all the talk over all these years about leaving the 99 and going after the one, oh we love the Notatbm family in our ward etc, etc, etc. 100% fake and no better way to prove it than to disappear and whadda know.? Yep not a soul reaches out and you get the ward-wide silent treatment for two plus years and then all of a sudden… hey can you come in and talk tithing.? lol .
 

it isn’t like we live ten miles from the nearest member and no one sees each other during the week. I  see multiple ward members every day as our whole ward is within one 1/2 x 1/2 mile boundary so basically every other home is a ward member. All three members of our bishopric live within two blocks (5 min walk or less) of me. 
 

Keep in mind no one knows my issues as I have told them only to one person and it wasn’t the bishop. If everyone now knows and they wanna keep their distance from the toxic guy, well I can easily credit that to typical Mormon gossip if that is what happened. 

like I said I’m thankful no one bugs me. I’m a bit mystified after all this time  to get one reach out and it’s about tithing… it figures 

why does it figure? Because the sec scandal was a large part of my leaving. I’m not about to take advice or listen to church leaders who engage in a conspiracy to hide funds from the membership and falsify documents filed to the government all in the name of getting continued tithing contributions among other reasons. I also have no respect for other lower leaders and members who support and sustain provably dishonest senior leaders.

Thats why it “figured” that was the kind of communication I got. 
 

I am actually kinda satisfied that my decision is the right one. That is what satisfies me.
 

 

 

Edited 35 minutes ago by Notatbm
typo

[Notatbm]

2 hours ago, Rain said:

Not who you were talking to and not complaing, but this has been the oddest thing to me. I have not understood why temple reccomend holders need something more (1.) than their reccomends. You don't have a separate meeting to declare your WoW status or one to declare your chastity status etc. All those things are declared in the temple interview. I understand for people who don't have a reccomend.

it is a way of applying additional pressure on a couple and doing it in front of their kids. It helps add legitimacy to the bishops position by parents sitting there allowing the bishop to give lessons on tithing to the kids and remind everyone of the fire insurance it provides. It ensures a continuity of contributions to the $300bn in assets already on hand. 

[Notatbm]

12 hours ago, Rain said:

The church has really not wanted sign up lists, but not everyone follows that. My husband was executive secretary years ago when they really came down on not having lists that everyone could see and for people to be contacted individually. Poor guy absolutely hates the phone and he had to make all those calls.

In recent years, I've seen them announce to meet the exec sec out in the foyer after sacrament meeting and that really cut down the calls/emails for those in those callings those years. They were still supposed to contact those who didn't contact them. 

 

The entire time we have been in this ward we used signup genius ( I think that’s what it is called ) and it seemed at the time to work well. Previous was a signup clipboard just on the wall outside the clerks office. Everyone could see who was going and when. 

Edited 34 minutes ago by Notatbm

[Notatbm]

4 hours ago, Calm said:

I want to go to your ward….

Ha yea. From a couple of them for sure. 
 

MESSAGES

[Rain]

54 minutes ago, Notatbm said:

The entire time we have been in this ward we used signup genius ( I think that’s what it is called ) and it seemed at the time to work well. Previous was a signup clipboard just on the wall outside the clerks office. Everyone could see who was gong and when. 

Maybe they finally found out they aren't supposed to be doing that?

I'm sorry that you haven't been shown concern from those in your ward.   That can hurt. 

[Amulek]

14 hours ago, Notatbm said:

just checked lds tools. Where do you unsubscribe at ? We r listed as EQ and rs members. 

You can change the visibility settings under your profile. ChatGPT can give you instructions.

If you really want to ensure nobody emails you anymore, then just change your email to be invalid. 

I keep a separate account to use on anything that requires an email as part of a signup; helps manage where all of those spam messages end up going (thanks Hotmail).

 

14 hours ago, Notatbm said:

he has gotten worse. He forgot the signup genius link so now he has to take three hundred phone calls…. Or just mine if I make it cuz it was an individual email. 

Or maybe he has an AI agent linked to his email that is also linked to a shared calendar. Seriously, there are a million ways to do this kind of stuff now that these kinds of integrations are more widely available.

But yes, it's certainly possible that they sent you a personal email to attend Tithing Declaration...you know, because it's that time of year.

 

14 hours ago, Notatbm said:

It’s not really a complaint… it’s more of a “yea that figures “

Yes. It does figure. And it will figure next year...and the year after that...and the year after that.

So long as you remain on the rolls of the Church, you should expect to be invited to attend Tithing Declaration. 

Some years you might get a personal invite; some years you might not. If you don't want to attend, simply reply back to the email you received and tell them you aren't interested in attending, and then just report your status in the same email. Or don't. You're free to do whatever you want. It's your life after all.

 

Edited 1 hour ago by Amulek

[Amulek]

10 hours ago, Rain said:

Not who you were talking to and not complaing, but this has been the oddest thing to me. I have not understood why temple reccomend holders need something more (1.) than their reccomends. You don't have a separate meeting to declare your WoW status or one to declare your chastity status etc. All those things are declared in the temple interview. I understand for people who don't have a reccomend.

As for #2, that can now be done at home, much more easily, on the computer, for those that have that access. 

I think there are some pragmatic reasons for keeping it separate. Temple recommends are good for two years and can be renewed at any point in the year, so they don't provide a consistent annual declaration.

Tithing also differs from WoW or chastity in that there's an annual financial record associated with it. The Church has to prepare annual contribution statements anyway, so having an annual declaration gives everyone a regular opportunity to make sure those records are correct.

I agree that online access makes the record-review part less important than it used to be, but I can still see why the Church would have one annual process for everyone rather than tying it to the recommend cycle.

 

[bluebell]

8 hours ago, Notatbm said:

it is a way of applying additional pressure on a couple and doing it in front of their kids. It helps add legitimacy to the bishops position by parents sitting there allowing the bishop to give lessons on tithing to the kids and remind everyone of the fire insurance it provides. It ensures a continuity of contributions to the $300bn in assets already on hand. 

I guess we never got the memo as we never took our kids with us until they were old enough to have a job and were paying consistent tithing themselves. 

[Notatbm]

6 minutes ago, bluebell said:

I guess we never got the memo as we never took our kids with us until they were old enough to have a job and were paying consistent tithing themselves. 

Every ward I have been in the entire family was invited. Growing up we went as a family. 

[Notatbm]

1 hour ago, Amulek said:

If you really want to ensure nobody emails you anymore, then just change your email to be invalid. 
 

I’m not trying to unsubscribe. Was just trying to see what the setting is. We r on full visibility it would seem as we don’t have any of the orange shields applied to anything. 

1 hour ago, Amulek said:

Yes. It does figure. And it will figure next year...and the year after that...and the year after that.

Ur right it does.. what doesn’t is why we haven’t got any correspondence of any kind for two years but all of a sudden we get the tithing one. 

[Notatbm]

8 hours ago, Rain said:

Maybe they finally found out they aren't supposed to be doing that?

so now the ward clerks are supposed to spend four months chasing people like the old days. If that’s the case I see ward clerks/ exec secretaries quitting a masse. Lol

8 hours ago, Rain said:

I'm sorry that you haven't been shown concern from those in your ward.   That can hurt. 

I don’t care they are not including us in anything, I was just mystified why no comm at all and after two plus years we get a tithing settlement invite. 

[MustardSeed]

Look it sounds like you have really been deeply affected by something negative and what I do know is when we know more about someone we become more compassionate and we are less abrasive.  
Rain just reminded me of this.  
I am not one who gets negative feelings for those who leave the church, nor do I try to convince people to “come back” - but I have been known to hang with folks and genuinely befriend because I trust we will both benefit.  
if your ward experiences you like I do, I can understand their distancing, only because you come across as though you prefer (I) stay far away and your distain is abrasive.  That said, you suggesting that something physically abusive occurred and hurt pokes at my compassion and I’m going to say this: in this moment I can understand not wanting to be a  part of something at all but still feel abandoned.  I’m sorry. 

[Calm]

39 minutes ago, bluebell said:

I guess we never got the memo as we never took our kids with us until they were old enough to have a job and were paying consistent tithing themselves. 

We never took our kids.  Never were told to in any of the wards we attended.  I will have to ask my son if he had his own as a minor once he got a job.  He never wanted an allowance for chores. Same with daughter.  I tried.  

Edited 1 hour ago by Calm

[Notatbm]

38 minutes ago, MustardSeed said:

…That said, you suggesting that something physically abusive occurred and hurt pokes at my compassion and I’m going to say this: in this moment I can understand not wanting to be a  part of something at all but still feel abandoned.  I’m sorry. 

Where did I suggest something abusive happened? To me?

[Notatbm]

31 minutes ago, Calm said:

We never took our kids.  Never were told to in any of the wards we attended.  I will have to ask my son if he had his own as a minor once he got a job.  He never wanted an allowance for chores. Same with daughter.  I tried.  

Y’all are doing it wrong if ur not taking your kids. Jesus wants them to be subjected to the audit too: 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/general-handbook/34-finances-and-audits?lang=eng

“34.3.1.2
Tithing Declaration
The bishop meets with each member during the last few months of each year to receive his or her tithing declaration. In rare circumstances when the bishop is absent, the stake president may authorize one of the bishop’s counselors to fulfill this responsibility.

All members are invited to meet with the bishop to:

Declare to the bishop their status as tithe payers.

Ensure their contribution records are accurate.

Whenever possible, all members of a family, including children, should attend together.”

[Amulek]

1 hour ago, Notatbm said:

Ur right it does.. what doesn’t is why we haven’t got any correspondence of any kind for two years but all of a sudden we get the tithing one. 

No idea. Our ward hasn't sent out emails in forever. Everything we do gets posted on our ward website, which has since been taken offline and now merely redirects to our "official" ward website (which every ward now has).

Our Elder's quorum has switched all our announcements over to a WhatsApp channel; youth groups are all using GroupMe; and I can't remember what the RS does - maybe they're still on Facebook?

Point being, were you in my ward, the only way you would be getting almost anything is if you were participating in Church and got plugged into one of those communication channels, or if you were to actively go seeking information out on the ward website.

Times they are a changing...

 

[Rain]

1 hour ago, Notatbm said:

so now the ward clerks are supposed to spend four months chasing people like the old days. If that’s the case I see ward clerks/ exec secretaries quitting a masse. Lol

Honestly, it has been that way for sometime.  It has been 20+ years since my husband was exec secretary and he hated the change, because he has always hated t pmhe phone even in chorded days. But being in 4 different wards and multiple bishops since then I've noticed they didn't all follow the practice.  You can tell though when someone has been told from higher above them or they read the handbook or they decide it is important because they change and stop having signups.

1 hour ago, Notatbm said:

I don’t care they are not including us in anything, I was just mystified why no comm at all and after two plus years we get a tithing settlement invite.