Troubling Allegations Against Former Sheriff in Pinal County, AZ (Church mbr)

[Calm]

5 hours ago, smac97 said:

I am seeing the "potential rapist" thing as more provocative than it is actually intended to be.

Yes, I think that is happening.  I don’t see it as an accusation, it’s a matter of fact observation.  I don’t think less or more of any individual.  I just include that knowledge as part of my awareness/evaluation of individuals I engage with/encounter in much the same way I might take age into account and keep track of anything that is wise to keep track of in youth or the elderly.

Stats for auto accidents are high enough insurance is required for every driver.  But not every driver is going to cause a costly accident.  Enough are though it becomes reasonable in enough people’s view to require it.

Holding the possibility in mind is similar to taking out insurance.  One prepares for the worst, hopes for the best…and is more likely to receive it or at least “the good” because one is prepared.

I have no doubt that many use it as provocation.  It has gotten old that so often the result of women being victimized is not any serious attempt to create fewer predators (male or female) in our cultures, but to tell women to avoid looking like a victim, to limit their freedom, etc.

Edited Thursday at 06:43 AM by Calm

[The Nehor]

13 hours ago, bluebell said:

I don't know why you would be surprised that women have to treat all men as a potential threat until they know better.  It just makes sense.  Men's violence is the single biggest threat to a woman's safety.  Between 85% and 99% of all physical and sexual violence committed against women is committed by men.  9 out of 10 women will be physically harmed by a man she actually knows during her lifetime.  1 in 3 will experience sexual or physical violence at the hand of a man in her lifetime.  1 in 2 (44%!) will experience some form of unwanted sexual contact during their lifetime.   With those odds, we'd be really dumb not to be wary around men in vulnerable situations.  We'd be idiots to ignore those statistics just because it a man might think it's unfair to be judged based on their gender.  Oh well.

And why would any man who cares about women want us to ignore those statistics??

I live in the mountain west and in my area between 17% and 45% of mountain streams contain giardia.  It's a nasty parasite that will make you very very sick pretty fast.  Do you know what percentage of streams experts suggest people drink out of without purifying first?  0%.  They teach us to treat all streams as a potential threat, because you can't tell the difference between a clean water source and an infected water source just by looking at it.  They teach us this because the potential for harm isn't worth taking the risk, and this is when the chances of not getting it are in our favor.  

The same thing applies for women in vulnerable situations with a man. The potential for harm is so great that the risk is not worth it.  Especially since the chances are not in our favor.

 

This 100%. All of this.

I understood this only on an abstract level until I went to gay clubs during my days of sin and vice. I was younger and cuter then and got a lot of attention. It was flattering but could also be threatening. Even what was superficially just a friendly overture had to be filtered to look for red flags and threats. Then I realized that this is what women experience. The difference being I didn’t have a big upper body strength disadvantage and that I could leave that environment and it would stop. Women don’t have a safe space in public where they can always avoid being an object of interest.

Women date defensively and live defensively around men for a reason. I am kind of ashamed it took a milder version of the problem threatening me before it clicked and I started to get it.

If men want women to not treat them as potential threats then they need to create a culture where this kind of predation is unacceptable. Men have collectively chosen not to take this step because the status quo provides some benefits (and detriments) for men. Until that changes it doesn’t matter if someone mansplains how it is wrong to be wary around men. Women are going to do it anyways as a survival mechanism.

[The Nehor]

5 hours ago, smac97 said:

Perhaps we are more or less saying the same thing, but I am seeing the "potential rapist" thing as more provocative than it is actually intended to be.

Tone policing people trying to avoid sexual harassment and assault is not a healthy response to a justifiable caution about sexual assault.

5 hours ago, smac97 said:

The first and second bullets here has some real poignancy for me.  I have a woman in my life who I think is in this state, and this has developed because of one or two very specific events in her life in which men behaved improperly toward her.  She never goes on dates, turns down every invitation, and speaks derisively of any man who attempts such overtures.  Although she has not specifically said it, I think she presently has no plans to marry or have children, a prospect that developed after the one or two incidents.  She is spurning "healthy relationships with good men" and overall seems to have a pretty unhealthy perspective on men as a category.  I think this is becoming entrenched in her, such that by the time she comes out of this mindset - if she ever does - she will have far fewer prospects for marriage and family.  And if she does marry, I can't help but feel sorry for her husband if he ends up living under a cloud of suspicion and imputed "potential rapist" status.  

While I hope you actually do have some empathy towards this woman why is the only explicit empathy in this for her hypothetical future husband as he might suffer due to the sexual assault his wife suffered? I mean you give a pretty detached and clinical overview and express worry over her ever marrying and then feel bad for any man who might get involved with her. The real tragedy is how her sexual assault might some day hypothetically negatively impact a man. I mean…….really?

Edited Thursday at 06:43 AM by The Nehor

[Calm]

Quote

The leap from “some men are dangerous” to “treat all men as potential rapists until proven otherwise” is the same kind of overgeneralization you correctly reject when applied to race. Both rely on the same flawed reasoning: using group averages to justify preemptive suspicion of every individual in that group.

Except it’s not race that is the primary factor in stats and therefore it is wrong to use race primarily as the identifier.  However, being male is the primary determinant (it doesn’t make a massive difference whether someone is black or white, it does make a massive difference if they are male or female…though again it happens often enough female it makes sense to be to be vigilant with females as well, not hyper vigilant, but vigilant).

[Calm]

24 minutes ago, The Nehor said:

If men want women to not treat them as potential threats then they need to create a culture where this kind of predation is unacceptable. Men have collectively chosen not to take this step because the status quo provides some benefits (and detriments) for men. Until that changes it doesn’t matter if someone mansplains how it is wrong to be wary around men. Women are going to do it anyways as a survival mechanism.

Yep.

[The Nehor]

Also this isn’t some new concern. Women have been warning other women about the dangers of men for as long as we can reliably have records about it. The need for chaperones for women out in public in many societies wasn’t just a control mechanism (though it was often that too). It was also a safety mechanism.

I am also much more dubious now of moral condemnation of gossip. While it is often toxic it also often functions as a kind of hidden communication network among those with less power in society communicating where (and with whom) you can find safety and where danger lies. In many of these stories after the fact we find out there were several women who knew of the predator in their midst and were actively warning each other and trying to protect each other while the hapless leaders were busy trying to maintain confidentiality and avoid a stir and probably would have lectured the women involved on the dangers of gossip. Sometimes these women go to leadership and nothing happens. Hence the need to protect each other.

[Calm]

5 hours ago, smac97 said:

In what context would such a statement be used?

How about "Every man is a potential non-pedophile"?  How does negating the accusation mitigate the accusation?

Never mind about this…I lost track of where I was heading.  Too many other conversations have taken place since then (grand girls over tonight).

[Calm]

21 hours ago, smac97 said:

completely agree women should be smart and cautious "in vulnerable situations."  Situational awareness is wise. But moving from “be careful” to “treat all men as potential rapists” feels like it goes too far and does real damage — both to women and to men who have never harmed anyone.

But every situation is potentially vulnerable until it’s not.  You have the most violence against women in the home.  Many times this occurs only after the couple has been together long enough the abuser feels in control of the other.  Prior to that they may be the most charming of people.  Behaviour may only occur after decades of living together when stress skyrockets like with the loss of a job or something else where the person feels devalued.

Domestic abuse may not even show up until someone retires.

being at church or interacting with clergy may be a vulnerable situation.  

Being in school may be a vulnerable situation.  

Being at the doctor’s may be a vulnerable situation.  
 

Being in a crowd may be a vulnerable situation (lots of gropers love crowds, even rapes can happen when it’s so crowded it’s hard to see around people…large man covering smaller woman from others’s sight).  Being alone can be vulnerable (only person in a parking lot).

Please share a location or situation where there will never be vulnerability of any significance?

Edited Thursday at 10:31 PM by Calm

[bluebell]

22 hours ago, smac97 said:

Broadly speaking, I differentiate communications and interactions based on sex.  I feel more at ease at striking up a conversation with another man than with a woman.  I live near a walking trail, and when I find myself walking behind a woman, I slow down or stop or turn around so as to give her plenty of space.  I don't do that when I am walking behind a man.  Same goes for parking lots at night.  I have a number of close male friends, but I have no close female friends except those who also have a friendship with my wife.  I never get close to or talk to children unless their parents are immediately nearby, and often not even then.

I think most of this has as much or more to do with propriety and decorum than with thoughts of mitigating safety concerns.

The women who are benefitting from these kinds of actions probably largely (if not exclusively in certain contexts) view them as mitigating safety concerns and are grateful you go through the world helping them feel safer.

Quote

 

That's a terrible thing.  Short of excluding the man from church services, what do you think the bishop should have done to better address the situation?  From a comment I made earlier in this thread:

Do you think something along those lines would work?

Thanks,

-Smac

 

I think that bishop handled that situation very well.  

I feel for bishops in such situations; it's probably very very hard.  I think it might be easier at those times when the man involved is basically a stranger.  I can only imagine how hard it is not to be biased when the man involved is a friend or someone the bishop has worked with or counseled.

[MustardSeed]

It isn’t fair that all men are suspect in certain circumstances.  It’s really sad actually.  
There are a lot of unfair things in life.  That’s hard. But, when it comes to instinct and safety, fairness and yes even political correctness sit in the back seat to reality.  
 

Back to topic at hand, there really  is no good answer  for training church leaders providing professional support in a church that operates on a layperson volunteer program, none that I can think of. 
 

I would not sign on to be the bishops advisor, any more than Smac should be the churches free lawyer.  If a bishop wants to consult with me , they all know where to find me but I have never in 20 years had a bishop make an appointment to consult for how to  handle tough parrishoners.  That’s a travesty because plenty of bishops trust me enough to refer me  to others. And as a therapist I myself am trained to consult with a therapist for tough cases.  
 

working with a fair number of LDS clients I’ve heard my fair share of complaints regarding leadership regarding how abuse, affairs, incest, excess handled.  Obviously all one sided.  But does anyone here really expect  that Joe from accounting , just called as bishop, who has never asked to be or been trained to be  a counselor is capable  of handling serious life concerns from multiple individuals and know how without inflicting further trauma? Yikes. Stuff is going to happen. 
 

 

 

[bluebell]

21 hours ago, smac97 said:

Well, I wonder about this in a few ways.

First, the "have to" bit.  I don't think women "have to treat all men as a potential threat."

I sincerely am glad that you live in a world where you are able to wonder if women need to be proactive around men.  You've obviously been blessed to be around good men and it sounds like you've never seen women victimized by bad ones and don't have any close women friends or relatives who have.  That's a place of privilege that I wish more people were able to operate from because then it would mean the world became a much better place than it currently is.  I say that with no sarcasm.

Quote

 

Second, the "until they know better" bit.  Again, consider the student I described:

A few hours after I encountered this woman, the hallway we were in was full of hundreds of people.  It's likely the busiest hallway at the university.  If that young woman walked down that hallway in the middle of the day, do you think she would be viewing all of the hundreds of men walking past her as "potential threat{s}" until she "know{s} better"?  I would think it more likely that she does not view these hundreds of men, or the billions of men throughout the world, as all being "potential threat{s}" until and unless there is a circumstance that justifies such an adverse inference.

 

Like MustardSeed stated, context matters.  Men in groups can be very dangerous.  Just ask the women who have been sexually assaulted and raped on crowded trains in places like India.  Or college parties here in the US, for another example.  You are right in that there are circumstances that justify a heightened vigilance for women and some that don't.  Given your previous statement, I don't think you are able to tell the difference though.  Said respectfully.

Quote

If a woman sees a man minding his own business walking along a public street during the day, I don't think she needs to view him as a presumptive/potential "rapist" and vet him and confirm his status as a non-threat.

She should.  Because men who are truly minding their own business and men who are pretending to mind their own business look exactly the same.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/31/nyregion/random-attacks-new-york-city-women.html

https://lanthorn.com/104855/opinion/women-facing-random-acts-of-violence-in-nyc-highlights-discourse-around-danger/

Quote

Alternatively, if a woman is walking toward her car late at night in a dark and empty parking lot and sees a man approaching her, then she is likely justified in viewing him as a potential threat until she knows better.

I'm sure you didn't mean to be condescending but you are. My first (unkind) reaction to this statement was to ask myself "who does this man think he is??". 

With respect, you have no authority or superior knowledge that would allow you to suggest when a woman is justified in viewing someone as a potential threat and when she isn't justified.

Quote

 

That said, I want to gently push back on the idea that women should treat all men as “potential rapists” or inherent threats until proven otherwise. I think that framing, even if it feels protective, can be psychologically unhealthy and unfair.

Some of the numbers you cited are directionally true but get overstated:

• The vast majority of violence against women (85–99% for sexual violence, high 80s–90s for severe physical violence) is indeed committed by men. That’s real.
• However, the claim that “9 out of 10 women will be physically harmed by a man she knows” is not, I think, supported by major studies. CDC data shows lifetime severe physical violence by an intimate partner is closer to 1 in 4, and broader physical aggression around 1 in 3.
• “1 in 3 women experience sexual or physical violence” is roughly accurate when including intimate partner violence over a lifetime.

These are serious numbers. They justify reasonable caution in certain situations. But they don’t justify treating every man as a presumptive threat.

 

My struggle is that it sounds like your push back is almost entirely (if not completely) based on how it makes men feel to be viewed as a potential threat.  Am I misunderstanding your motives?  Because it sounds like you would like women to compromise their safety so that men's feelings don't get hurt.

(I realize how snotty that sounds and I'm not saying it in anger.  It's really how the 'not all men' argument comes across to me and many many others.  Plus, being nice and not hurting a man's feelings has actually gotten women killed before so it's a touchy subject)

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Here’s where I struggle: If someone said “All Black men are potential rapists” or “All Muslims are potential terrorists” because of disproportionate crime/terrorism statistics in those groups, most people would correctly call that prejudiced and dehumanizing. It takes real, painful data and turns it into collective guilt.

I'm sorry if that seems unfair.  It's not fair but neither is it fair that a 16 year old girl can't stand in line at a convenience store at 3 in the afternoon with other patrons around and not worry about the adult man behind her grabbing her butt. (That's a personal experience, by the way)

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Why does the same logic suddenly become acceptable when applied to men as a category?

I love dogs.  But all dogs are capable of inflicting harm, and some are capable of inflicting great harm.  I had a job after college where I came in contact with over 200 dogs each day (on average).  I treated 100% of them as capable of harming me until I knew otherwise.  Depending on the context, some I never gave the chance to see and just steered clear.

It's acceptable to apply broad judgements to whole categories of things (both human and not) when the risk of not doing so is harm or even death.

Quote

Most men are not rapists or abusers. The best research suggests that somewhere between 5–10% of men commit rape (with a smaller group of repeat offenders responsible for most assaults). The overwhelming majority of men — fathers, brothers, husbands, friends — never commit sexual violence. Painting all men with the actions of that minority is the very definition of prejudice.

I agree that most men are not those things.  It's too bad you can't tell the difference between the good ones and the bad ones until it's too late most of the time.

If men don't like the prejudice, they should work harder to stop the bad ones.  

Quote

 

I think the healthier mindset is: Be situationally aware, not categorically distrustful.

Most women already do this naturally — they assess individuals based on behavior, context, and red flags rather than assuming every man is dangerous until proven innocent. That approach protects women without poisoning relationships or treating half the population as inherently suspect.

Viewing all men as potential rapists doesn’t just harm men — it harms women too. It fosters chronic anxiety, damages trust in healthy relationships, and makes it harder to see good men clearly when they show up.

I care about women’s safety. That is why I think we should be precise with the data and avoid overgeneralizations that treat men as a monolith. Real safety comes from smart risk assessment and strong communities, not blanket suspicion based on gender.

What do you think? I’d genuinely like to hear your thoughts — I’m not trying to win an argument, just understand where you’re coming from.

I get where you're coming from with the stream analogy — it's a smart survival rule in the backcountry. Giardia is nasty, you can't see it, and the cost of filtering water is low. Better safe than sorry.

But I think the analogy breaks down when applied to men as a whole. I think the risk levels are very different:

• With streams in your area, 17–45% are contaminated — that's an extremely high base rate.
• The lifetime risk that a random man will sexually assault a woman is much lower. While the statistics on violence against women are serious (and we should take them seriously), the vast majority of men are not rapists or abusers. Best research puts male rape perpetration somewhere in the 5–10% range lifetime, with a smaller group of repeat offenders responsible for most incidents.

Treating every single stream as potentially contaminated makes sense because the hit rate is high. Treating every man as a "potential rapist" until proven otherwise is different — it's assuming a much higher risk from every individual than the data supports.

Further, I think you can assess men better than streams.  Unlike water, you can (and should) evaluate people based on:

• Their behavior and demeanor
• Context and setting
• Reputation and how others speak about them
• Whether they respect boundaries

Most women already do this instinctively. Blanket "all men are threats" thinking removes that nuance and replaces it with categorical suspicion. That’s a heavy psychological load to carry.

The categorical suspicion comes with some real costs.  Treating all men as potential threats might feel protective, but it also:

• Risks creating chronic anxiety and hypervigilance;
• Makes it harder to build healthy relationships with good men; and
• Can lead to unfair prejudice (the same logic would be called sexist or bigoted if applied to other groups).

I completely agree women should be smart and cautious "in vulnerable situations."  Situational awareness is wise. But moving from “be careful” to “treat all men as potential rapists” feels like it goes too far and does real damage — both to women and to men who have never harmed anyone.

I’m not saying women should be naive. I’m saying the “treat every man as a threat” approach might be overcorrecting in a way that’s not actually making women safer or happier.

Happy to keep talking about it.

Thanks,

 

I'm no longer in a place where I can give grace for a lot of this section and I don't want to have hard feelings towards you so I'm going to bow out of the conversation.  There isn't a reason to continue it and I'm going to say things that I regret (though I believe they are 100% true, there is no way to say them that will bring about any positive result in a discussion on this topic with you).

Thank you for trying.  I mean that sincerely.

Edited Thursday at 03:16 PM by bluebell

[bluebell]

8 hours ago, The Nehor said:

This 100%. All of this.

I understood this only on an abstract level until I went to gay clubs during my days of sin and vice. I was younger and cuter then and got a lot of attention. It was flattering but could also be threatening. Even what was superficially just a friendly overture had to be filtered to look for red flags and threats. Then I realized that this is what women experience. The difference being I didn’t have a big upper body strength disadvantage and that I could leave that environment and it would stop. Women don’t have a safe space in public where they can always avoid being an object of interest.

Women date defensively and live defensively around men for a reason. I am kind of ashamed it took a milder version of the problem threatening me before it clicked and I started to get it.

If men want women to not treat them as potential threats then they need to create a culture where this kind of predation is unacceptable. Men have collectively chosen not to take this step because the status quo provides some benefits (and detriments) for men. Until that changes it doesn’t matter if someone mansplains how it is wrong to be wary around men. Women are going to do it anyways as a survival mechanism.

Thank you.  This was so validating and lifted my heart.  It brought tears to my eyes to be so understood.  We need more men who are more concerned with changing things so that women can feel safer just living their lives.

[MustardSeed]

I’m just an average gal. My experience with assault is pretty run of the mill.  Was grabbed on the breast (not grazed, but grabbed and squeezed) in a crowded crosswalk.  I presume by a man.   Been flashed in public - full Monty- twice.  Ran at and pinned to a wall by a naked man. Barricaded in a parking lot by a man who propositioned me as I was walking to the car. As a teen a 26 year old male from my ward was waiting for me at my bus stop and walked near me til I got home- I’d never spoken to him before.  A man I babysat for tried to kiss me as he dropped me off- his wife was my yw advisor.  Mom didn’t believe me.  Recently asked by man behind me in grocery store to accompany him back to his place with zero conversation preceeding. 
cat calls galore. There’s the one major event that went to trial but I already shared that story. 
that’s top of mind- pretty normal stuff.  All unacceptable.  
 

But I still love men.  That is, those I have vetted as safe enough.  
 

Whenever a male comes to my home, if I haven’t met them, I request my husband be there.  Band mates, home repairs etc. No exceptions, religion etc. 
 

It’s too bad.  I advise the same to my daughters. I don’t consider myself imbalanced - I absolutely consider the world and danger imbalanced. 
 

Yes.  Every man is a potential threat until I categorize him otherwise. I don’t think about it much, it’s just a way of life.  I don’t point and yell “rapist” nor do I  even think the word “rapist”- but for the purpose of this conversation, and I’m sure it lands hard, yes, every male is potentially dangerous to me.  Sometimes, the threat is very very quickly mitigated.  but there is zero exception to initial care  I take especially when I’m isolated with a male I don’t know, and at times, isolated with a man I know, and at times, not isolated but around men I don’t know.  Even in groups with men I know, I’m not 100% guaranteed safety unfortunately.  
but my life is good.  I adore so many men that I surround myself with.  Even many men on this site.  

 

 

Edited Thursday at 03:47 PM by MustardSeed

[MustardSeed]

Want to add for full circle purposes that there are men In my life who are untrained formally that I would feel safe sharing a current situation of compromised safety with, in hopes of being believed validated and protected.  Many on this site as well.  There are many I deem as not leanable, who might question my experience, and I would hope they would not be my church leaders - but often they are.  If I was assaulted today my bishop would not be my first stop.   Would go to husband, police, friends, family and therapist in that order.  No reason for bishop unless it was a ward member who caused harm.   

Edited Thursday at 05:53 PM by MustardSeed

[smac97]

6 hours ago, bluebell said:

I sincerely am glad that you live in a world where you are able to wonder if women need to be proactive around men.  You've obviously been blessed to be around good men and it sounds like you've never seen women victimized by bad ones

That would be an incorrect assumption.

6 hours ago, bluebell said:

and don't have any close women friends or relatives who have. 

Also an incorrect assumption.

6 hours ago, bluebell said:

That's a place of privilege that I wish more people were able to operate from because then it would mean the world became a much better place than it currently is.  I say that with no sarcasm.

Understood.  But I don't think I enjoy such a privilege.

6 hours ago, bluebell said:

Like MustardSeed stated, context matters.  Men in groups can be very dangerous.  Just ask the women who have been sexually assaulted and raped on crowded trains in places like India.  Or college parties here in the US, for another example.  You are right in that there are circumstances that justify a heightened vigilance for women and some that don't.  Given your previous statement, I don't think you are able to tell the difference though.  Said respectfully.

She should.  Because men who are truly minding their own business and men who are pretending to mind their own business look exactly the same.

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/31/nyregion/random-attacks-new-york-city-women.html

https://lanthorn.com/104855/opinion/women-facing-random-acts-of-violence-in-nyc-highlights-discourse-around-danger/

I'm sure you didn't mean to be condescending but you are. My first (unkind) reaction to this statement was to ask myself "who does this man think he is??". With respect, you have no authority or superior knowledge that would allow you to suggest when a woman is justified in viewing someone as a potential threat and when she isn't justified.

I was attempting to have a difficult discussion and share thoughts, with the objective being to suss out perspectives and opinions that may vary from or challenge my own.  I was not intending to present my perspective and thoughts as definitively resolving anything here.  I apologize if I gave that impression.

We're having a discussion, that's all.  Or we were.

6 hours ago, bluebell said:

My struggle is that it sounds like your push back is almost entirely (if not completely) based on how it makes men feel to be viewed as a potential threat.  Am I misunderstanding your motives? 

Yes.  Quite a bit, in fact:

Quote

The categorical suspicion comes with some real costs.  Treating all men as potential threats might feel protective, but it also:

• Risks creating chronic anxiety and hypervigilance;
• Makes it harder to build healthy relationships with good men; and
• Can lead to unfair prejudice (the same logic would be called sexist or bigoted if applied to other groups).

I completely agree women should be smart and cautious "in vulnerable situations."  Situational awareness is wise. But moving from “be careful” to “treat all men as potential rapists” feels like it goes too far and does real damage — both to women and to men who have never harmed anyone.

My comments have delved into the adverse consequences for women ("creating chronic anxiety and hypervigilance" and "harder to build healthy relationships with men") and men ("can lead to unfair prejudice").  

6 hours ago, bluebell said:

Because it sounds like you would like women to compromise their safety so that men's feelings don't get hurt.

That is not my motive.  

6 hours ago, bluebell said:

(I realize how snotty that sounds and I'm not saying it in anger.  It's really how the 'not all men' argument comes across to me and many many others.  Plus, being nice and not hurting a man's feelings has actually gotten women killed before so it's a touchy subject)

Understood.

6 hours ago, bluebell said:

I'm sorry if that seems unfair.  It's not fair but neither is it fair that a 16 year old girl can't stand in line at a convenience store at 3 in the afternoon with other patrons around and not worry about the adult man behind her grabbing her butt. (That's a personal experience, by the way)

I love dogs.  But all dogs are capable of inflicting harm, and some are capable of inflicting great harm.  I had a job after college where I came in contact with over 200 dogs each day (on average).  I treated 100% of them as capable of harming me until I knew otherwise.  Depending on the context, some I never gave the chance to see and just steered clear.

It's acceptable to apply broad judgements to whole categories of things (both human and not) when the risk of not doing so is harm or even death.

Abbie Jane Swogger; Abigail Holloway; Adrienne Laflamme; Alexandria Vera; Alison Mosbeck; Alison Peck; Allenna Ward; Amanda Athey; Amber Jennings; Amber Marshall; Amira Sa’Di; Amy Beck; Amy Bramhall; Amy Elder; Amy Lilley; Amy McElhenny; Amy N. Miller; Amy Northcutt; Amy Yarbrough; Andrea Fox; Andrea Martinez; Angela Christine Coffey; Angela Comer; Angela Palmer; Angela Stellwag; Anna Bettencourt; Anne Knopf; April Watson; Ashley Hall; Ashley Flores; Autumn Leathers; Barbara Anderson; Becci Hill; Beth Ann Chester; Beth Raymond; Beth Shepherd; Bethany Sherrill; Brandy Lynn Gonzales; Brenda Baillargeon; Brenda Osborne; Bridgett Szychulski; Brittni Colleps; Cameo Patch; Carmen Brown; Carol Flannigan; Carrie McCandless; Carrie O’Conner; Cathy Heminghaus; Celeste Emerick; Chandra Franks; Christel C. Gravlin; Christie Elliot; Christina Gallagher; Christina Oliver; Christine Duda; Christine Scarlett; Christine Jouini; Christine McCallum; Christine Spaich; Christy Anne Brown; Christy Martin; Claire Richards; Courtney Bowles; Courtney Jarrell; Cris Morris; Crissy Hisey; Crystal Wells; Cynthia Horvath; Danielle Jones; Danielle Watkins; Darcie Esson; Dawn Welter; Deanna Bobo; Deborah Reeder; Debra LaFave; Denise Keesee; Diana Canter; Donna Washburne; Dorothy Dixon; Elisa Martinelli; Elisha Kingsley; Elizabeth Livesay; Elizabeth Miklosovic; Elizabeth Munn; Elizabeth Stow; Ellen Garfield; Ellen Niemiec; Emily Elizabeth Housley; Emily Morris; Erica Baker; Erica Rutters; Erica Umosella; Erin McLean; Erin Queen; Ethel Anderson; Franca and Antonia Munoz-Juvera; Gail E. Gagne; Gay Lyn Turley; Georgianne Harrell; Gina Marie Watring; Gwen Cardozo; Haven Kirkpatrick; Heather Lea Burroughs; Heather Ingram; Heather Kennedy; Heather Thorsby; Heather Lynne Zeo; Hope Jacoby; Hope Johns; Jacquelyn Faith Garrison; Jamie Armstrong; Jamie Waite; Janelle Batkins; Janelle Bird; Janet Hughes; Janet Parker; Jaymee Wallace; Jennifer Cisco; Jennifer Dempsey; Jennifer Dorland; Jennifer Espinosa; Jennifer Mally; Jennifer Rice; Jennifer Tarkenton; Jennifer Whiting; Jessica Bailey Wishnask; Joan Marie Sladky; Jodi Church; Julia Lund; Julie A. Denno; Julie Pritchett; Kalyn Darby Thompson; Kandace Christopher; Kanesa Hopkins; Karen Patton; Karen Robbins; Kasey Johnes; Katherine J. Harder; Katherine Hicks; Katherine Tew; Kathy White; Katie Cross; Katryna Martin; Kellie Ann Cormican; Kelly Ann Garcia; Kelly Dalecki; Kelsey Peterson; Kenzi Friday; Kesha D. Manuel; Kimberly Lynch; Kinsley Wentzky; Kirsten Kinley; Kristen Margrif; Kristi Oakes; Kristy Sanchez-Trujillo; Kristyn Breeds; Lakina Stutts; Laura Lynn Findlay; Laura Pace; Lauren Cosgrove; Lauren Harrington-Cooper; Leslie Baird; Linda Hardan; Linda Nef; Linda Pithyou; Lindsay Massaro; Lisa Lavoie; Lisa Robyn Marinelli; Lynn Saunders; Marcie L. Rousseau; Marcy R. Fisher; Margaret De Barraicua; Maria Guzman Hernandez; Maria Saco; Mariella Brenlla; Marla Gurecki-Haskins; Mary Jo Spack; Mary Kay Letourneau; Megan Mahoney; Megan Sainsbury; Megan Snipes; Melinda Deluca; Melinda Dennehy; Melissa Andreini; Melissa Bare; Melissa Chase; Melissa Deel; Melissa Diana Koeh; Melissa Lavender; Melissa Dawn McCord; Melissa Moss; Melissa Snow; Melissa Weber; Meredith Hollen; Meredith Kane; Michelle Farley; Michelle Kush; Michelle Morano; Michelle VanMeter; Michelle Zulkowsky; Natalie Fraxedas; Natasha Sizow; Nicole Barnhart; Nicole Dufault; Nicole Kurowski; Nicole Long; Nicole Pomerleau; Pamela Balogh; Pamela Diehl-Moore; Pamela Smart; Pamela Rogers Turner; Rachel Burkhart; Rachel Holt; Rachelle Heenan; Rachelle Vantucci; Rebecca Boicelli; Rebecca Becker and Maria Zurita; Rebecca Bogard; Rebecca Ann Bramlett; Rebecca Lee Kelley; Rebecca Noonan; Rebekah Todd; Rebecca Robertson-Shaffer; Regina McKay; Rhianna Ellis; Rita Brum; Robin Gialanella; Robin Winkis; Rosanna Encinas Brown; Samantha Solomon; Sandra Binkley; Sandra Borrego; Sandra “Beth” Geisel; Sarah Bridges; Sarah Joel; Sarah Raymo; Sarah L. Tolzien; Shannon Best; Shannon Herring; Shannon Young; Sharon Rutherford; Shebana Rajput; Shelley Allen; Sheila Vazquez; Sheral Smith; Sherry Brians; Sheryl A. Namahine; Stacy Hopkins; Stephanie Adams; Stephanie Burleson; Stephanie Giambelluca; Stephanie Diane Harris; Stephanie Ragusa; Stephanie Seabury; Stephanie Ann Stein; Stephanie Jo Walters; Summer Hansen; Susan Clickner; Tabitha Adams; Tamara Ryman; Tara Driscoll; Tawni Wimberley; Teresa Engelbach; Tina Mason; Toni Allexy; Toni Woods; Traci Tapp; Valynne Bowers; Wendie Schweikert; and Yvette Starzyk.

This is a list of female school teachers who have been accused and/or convicted of sexually assaulting minor students.

And this list was compiled in 2014.

A few more since then (mostly, but not exclusively, teachers) :

• Maris Nichols, the Georgia teacher arrested for allegedly R*PING a student in a classroom closet, has been arrested AGAIN on additional charges after being accused of abusing 5 MORE children.  Nichols allegedly r*ped multiple other children, including at a golf course and in a Hummer. She also reportedly sent explicit pictures of herself to children.
• Samantha J. Watson, of Eastvale in Riverside County {California}, was booked into jail on Friday on charges of sending harmful material to a juvenile, oral copulation and digital penetration, according to authorities. She was taken into custody without incident.
• A first-grade teacher in Washington state allegedly admitted to her husband that she cheated on him with a 16-year-old student — with whom she had sex in his truck, according to court documents.  Mackenzie Naught, 25, allegedly fessed up to her hubby Saturday night, just hours before being arrested on child sex crimes on Sunday, the Spokesman-Review reported. 
• Ashley Fisler, 36.  former middle school teacher at Orchard Valley Middle School, New Jersey accused of r*ping her 14-year-old male student six times.  Had s*x with him in her car and inside the classroom.  Exchanged over 7,500 pages of explicit incriminating text messages.
• The {Georgia Bureau of Investigation} has arrested and charged Danielle Weaver, age 29, of Leesburg, GA, with Child Molestation and Improper Sexual Contact by Employee, Agent, or Foster Parent. On February 4, 2026, the Leesburg Police Department requested the GBI to assist with an investigation into allegations of inappropriate contact between a teacher and a juvenile student at Lee County High School.
• A young Michigan prep school teacher has admitted having sex with a student she was tutoring at his home — a “disgusting” act she even filmed, calling it “not my best thinking.”  Jocelyn Sanroman, now 27, of Pontiac, was sentenced to four to 15 years in prison on Tuesday after earlier pleading guilty to third-degree sexual conduct, FOX 2 Detroit reported.  She was arrested after letting slip to a colleague nearly a year ago that she’d had sex with a 16-year-old male student she was tutoring in 2023, when she was also teaching at Oakside Prep Academy in Waterford Township.
• A former Texas high school teacher and coach who was caught kissing a 16-year-old boy has pleaded guilty to having an improper relationship with two teenagers, authorities said.  Shelby Dawn Lashombe, 25, a former teacher at Valley Mills High School in Valley Mills, pleaded guilty to two counts of improper relationship between educator and student, the McLennan County District Attorney’s Office confirmed to PEOPLE.
• A Louisiana elementary school teacher has been hit with 25 sex charges — including first-degree rape — involving two young students.  Marisa Noel, 31, was arrested and charged Monday following a two-month investigation into her disturbing behavior with a fifth-grader she taught at Teche Elementary School in Breaux Bridge, the St. Martin Parish Sheriff’s Office said.
• A disgraced Ohio high school teacher copped to having a twisted months-long sexual relationship with her 15-year-old student, whom she bombarded with thousands of lurid texts declaring her love.  Jamelah Daboubi, a former teacher at Horizon Science Academy in Columbus, pleaded guilty to gross sexual imposition and unlawful sexual conduct with a minor in Franklin County Common Pleas Court last month, according to court documents obtained by WBNS.
• A disgraced small-town mayor sent several frantic texts to her family and the mother of a 16-year-old boy after she was allegedly caught having sex with the teen at a booze-fueled pool party, according to a report.  Misty Roberts, the 43-year-old former leader of DeRidder, La., texted her ex-husband Duncan Clanton after her own son allegedly caught her committing the disturbing sex crime at a 2024 party, according to a criminal complaint obtained by the Daily Mail.
• A former New Jersey high school English teacher confessed to sexually assaulting two of her former teenage students.  Julie Rizzitello, 37, who had previously worked at Wall Township High School, pleaded guilty to two counts of second-degree sexual assault for incidents that began in 2017, according to a Monmouth County Prosecutor's Office news release. Prosecutors are expected to seek a 10-year prison term and mandatory registration as a sex offender when Rizzitello is sentenced on January 9, 2026.
• A woman accused of having sex with a 14-year-old boy has pleaded guilty to one count of statutory rape and has received a suspended, two-year prison sentence.  Shelby Carol Ann Flores, 24, of Rocky Top was indicted in August by an Anderson County grand jury for having sex with the boy from May 1, 2013, through July 29, 2014.
• A woman who videotaped as she forced a 9-year-old girl to perform sex acts on her husband has been sentenced to 30 years in federal prison, the statutory maximum sentence, announced U.S. Attorney for the Northern District of Texas Erin Nealy Cox.  Dawn Greenwood, 39, pleaded guilty in October to production of child pornography.  According to plea papers, Ms. Greenwood used a cell phone to videotape her husband, Shon Greenwood, and the 9-year-old child, who’d been living at the couple’s home.
• A San Francisco Bay Area woman dubbed by police, prosecutors, and victims as the "party mom" is being sentenced to state prison Thursday after she was convicted for hosting alcohol-fueled parties for her teenage son and friends during the pandemic in which she encouraged child sexual assaults.  Shannon Marie O'Connor, also known as Shannon Bruga, was convicted in March of over 60 crimes, including facilitating the forcible sexual assault of one child onto another child, child endangerment, annoying or molesting a child, and dissuading witnesses from testifying.
• A Michigan woman is facing charges for allegedly using Xbox to foster an inappropriate relationship with an 11-year-old boy.  Jessica Carlton, 44, of Grand Rapids is charged with two counts of attempting to lure or entice a child and a dozen counts of endangering the welfare of a child.  Investigators believe the alleged relationship began in May 2013, when they say the Grand Rapids woman contacted the then 11-year-old boy through Xbox Live. Authorities say the two would play video games together online. Eventually, investigators say the relationship took a turn, and Carlton and the boy shared sexually explicit phone conversations and began exchanging lewd photos and text messages. Prosecutors say Carlton also gave the boy clothes, debit cards and jewelry.
• A woman who raped, tortured and murdered a 12-year-old girl in Paris three years ago was sentenced to life in prison without parole on Friday, according to CNN affiliate BFMTV.  Dahbia Benkired, a 27-year-old woman from Algeria, must spend at least 30 years in prison for her crimes against Lola Daviet, BFMTV reported.
• A 28-year-old woman has been sentenced to jail after pleading guilty to breaking into a man’s apartment and raping him in his sleep.  The Smoking Gun reported that Chantae Marie Gilman will serve nine months in jail after pleading guilty earlier this week.  The crime happened in June of 2013 inside the victim’s Seattle apartment. Gilman has admitted to having sex with the man as he slept.
• Stephanie Peterson, a former middle school teacher, was arrested in February 2018 for allegedly having a secret sexual relationship with a 14-year-old boy, police said.  The teen told investigators in Volusia County, Florida, that Peterson, 26, would give him marijuana.
• In 2012, Cincinnati Bengals cheerleader-turned-teacher Sarah Jones pleaded guilty to having a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old student. Jones taught at Dixie Heights High School in northern Kentucky. 
• An Illinois high school soccer coach was accused in March 2018 of sexually assaulting three students.  Authorities said 28-year-old Cori Beard, a part-time assistant coach for both the boys and girls soccer teams, was allegedly involved in "unlawful sexual acts with three current Vernon Hills High School boys." She was charged with 12 counts of criminal sexual assault.
• An Oklahoma high-school teacher was arrested for allegedly having sex with a male student, after authorities said evidence was found on the boy's phone.  The teacher, Hunter Day, age 22, faces second-degree rape, possession of child pornography and other charges.
• In 2016, Alaina Ferguson, 23, was charged with sexual assault of a 16-year-old boy. He allegedly told police that the relationship was sparked by a note he left on an algebra test in which he wrote his Snapchat user name.
• Brianne Altice, a former Utah high school English teacher, pleaded guilty to sexually abusing three teenage boys who had been students.  Altice was initially free on bail after her 2013 arrest, but was jailed after allegations emerged that she continued a sexual relationship with one of the boys.
• Haeli Noelle Wey, a former Texas math teacher, pleaded guilty in February 2017 to having improper relationships with two of her 17-year-old students.  Wey was 28 when she was accused of having months-long sexual relationships with the victims. She was sentenced to 10 years probation.
• Iowa substitute teacher Mary Haglin was arrested July 22, 2016 and charged with having a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old boy.
• Virginia Houston Hinckley, a 26-year-old St. Augustine, Fla. high school teacher, was charged with having unlawful sexual activity with a 16-year-old boy in 2015.  The two exchanged nude photos, according to the student, and allegedly had sex in a park.
• A former teacher at a Detroit-area high school accused of having sex with a 15-year-old student was sentenced to 6 to 15 years in prison in 2015.  Authorities said Kathryn Ronk, 30, engaged in sexual acts with the teenager in classrooms at Bishop Foley High School in Madison Heights. 
• Melody Lippert, 38, and Michelle Ghirelli, 30, were sentenced to probation after having sex with students on a November 2014 beach trip in California.  Both Lippert and Ghirelli worked at South Hills High School, located outside of Los Angeles.
• Police in Florida arrested Port St. Lucie High School teacher Tiffany Michelle Geliga in May 2017 after a 17-year-old male student alleged the two had sex in her car on two separate occasions. 
• Stacy Schuler, a 33-year-old high school health teacher from southwest Ohio, was convicted of having sex with five students in 2011.  According to The Middletown Journal newspaper, a former high school football player testified that he and a friend had sex with Schuler at her home.
• Megan Crafton of Indiana was sentenced to probation after a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old male student.  The part-time assistant cheerleading coach at Shelbyville High School admitted to performing oral sex on the teen in her car in January 2012.
• Police arrested 36-year-old South Carolina teacher Carole Ann Hope in 2011 after she allegedly had sex with a 14-year-old former middle-school student. 
• Ashley Anderson, a high school teacher in Iowa, was sentenced to up to five years in prison for inappropriate sexual relationships with four male students in 2011. The teacher, then 24, sent students nude photographs of herself and had sex with one student at his home, according to a complaint. 
• In March 2012, Gabriela Compton got lifetime probation after having sexual contact with two students. Police say Compton sent a photo of her breasts to male students at Western Valley Middle School in Arizona.  In the course of an investigation, officers learned Compton previously had sexual contact with two male students, ages 13 and 14.
• California high school teacher Nadia Christine Diaz was sentenced in 2012 to three years of probation and 30 days in an adult offender work program for having sex with a 14-year-old student in 2009. 
• Denver-area high school teacher Lauren Redfern was sentenced to sex offender treatment in August 2012 after she was caught having sex with a 17-year-old male student in the teacher's bathroom.
• New Jersey high school teacher Kristin Leone, 26, was sentenced to a year in jail in 2013 after she pleaded guilty to having sex with a 16-year-old student.
• Kathyrin Murray, 29, a West Houston middle school teacher, was sentenced to a year in jail after having sex with a 15-year-old boy at his home in 2012 while his parents were away.  Police said they later discovered that Murray had sex with the same boy at a hotel on the night of a school dance and in her classroom.
• Kimberly Naquin, a geography teacher, pleaded guilty in March 2017 to having a sexual relationship with a female student, then 16, while employed at Destrehan High in St. Charles Parish, Louisiana. 
• Former Osceola County, Florida, teacher Kacy Wilson pleaded guilty to having sex with a 16-year-old student and sending pornographic photos to the teen in 2012.
• Loni Marie Folks, a Missouri elementary school teacher, pleaded guilty in 2008 to having sex with a 16-year-old student.  The teen was a foreign exchange student from Italy staying in the home of Folks and her husband. 
• An Oregon Christian school teacher had a sexual relationship with a student when he was as young as 15, authorities said.  The teacher, Andrea Baber, also allegedly gave they boy marijuana.
• Soap opera actress-turned New Jersey high school drama teacher Lisa Glide was sentenced to five years probation for having sex with a high school student twice off campus in 2008. The 17-year-old victim says he pursued her. 
• Jamee Hiatt, a former Michigan elementary and middle school teacher, admitted to having a sexual relationship with a student beginning in 2014, when he was 13.
• Officials in Angelina County, Texas, say 38-year-old Heather Robertson had sex with at least six high school students, two at the same time and two others on multiple occasions, between November 2016 and April 2017 at her Lufkin home.
• North Carolina math teacher Erin McAuliffe, 25, was accused in May 2017 of having inappropriate sexual contact with three male students who attended Rocky Mount Preparatory School, where she taught. 
• Nataly Lopez, a New Jersey middle school teacher, was accused in June 2017 of having sexual relations with one of her male students. She allegedly engaged in sexual acts with the student in her vehicle on two occasions and exchanged sexually explicit messages with him online.
• Laura Ramos, a Connecticut special education teacher, was charged in June 2017 with engaging in a sexual relationship with an 18-year-old student in the special ed program. 
• Nikki Varney, a science teacher at Williamsburg High School in Pennsylvania, was charged on Aug. 25, 2017 with eight counts related to unlawful sex with a minor, including two charges of institutional sexual assault. A 15-year-old boy told school officials and investigators that he and Varney had sex in a state park and at her home during the previous month.
• A woman was arrested and charged with being drunk in public after police said she was caught having sex with an unconscious man.  The woman, 36-year-old Kimberly M. Jackson, was later released on bond.
• An Ankeny High School teacher was arrested Friday on a charge of sexual exploitation by a school employee.  Amanda Caye Dreier, 27, had an ongoing sexual relationship with an 18-year-old male student who graduated from the high school in the spring, according to police. She was an English teacher at the school.
• The family of a 16-year-old Tennessee boy has filed a $4.5 million lawsuit against Roane County Schools and contractor Compass One Services of Tennessee for negligence after they say a female janitor at the teen's former high school raped him during school hours, the Knoxville News Sentinel reports. The complaint alleges that Jessica Galyon, a married mom who was arrested Feb. 23 on sexual battery and statutory rape charges, started talking with the boy in August, coerced him into becoming Facebook friends, then started sending "flirtatious and sexual messages" to him, despite the teen telling her her advances were "unwelcome."
• Carissa Smith, a teacher at the Dixon School District in MO was arrested on 19 charges including r*pe after she was caught allegedly paying students to have s*x with her. She also reportedly smoked marijuana with students.
• A teacher at South Iredell High School was charged after having a sexual relationship with a student, according to the Iredell Sheriff's Office.  The investigation began when an Iredell County deputy saw a suspicious vehicle parked in an undeveloped residential area. The deputy said a woman, later identified as 37-year-old Julianna Ortiz Mills, was standing next to the vehicle and a younger male was sitting inside.
• On Tuesday afternoon Mobile County sheriff's deputies arrested a former Faith Academy teacher accused of having a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old student, according to authorities.  According to the Mobile County Sheriff's Office, 33-year-old Christina Busby was no longer working at Faith Academy when authorities arrested her Tuesday.
• Eileen McBrien, 62, will spend six years in jail after a jury found her guilty of inciting a child to engage in sexual activity.
• A mother accused of raping her own children will be behind bars until she’s at least 90 years old.  The son of Angela Montgomery, 53, gave a strong victim impact statement in her sentencing hearing Wednesday.
• A Florida woman has been arrested on Tuesday after she allegedly raped and had a sexual relationship with an 11-year-old boy starting in 2014 and getting pregnant as a result.  Marissa A. Mowry, 25, was arrested by the Hillsborough County Sheriffs Office and taken to the county’s jail, Fox 13 reported.
• A Lafayette woman is accused of videotaping herself performing oral sex on a 1-year-old boy.  According to court documents, Jessica McCain told investigators that she recorded the sex act on a borrowed cell phone.
• A twenty-four-year-old teacher accused of having sex with a thirteen-year-old student turned herself in to police on Wednesday morning, after a warrant was issued for her arrest.  Alexandria Vera, 24, is charged with continuous sex abuse of a child. Harris County prosecutors said Vera had sex with a 13-year-old boy who was also her student.  The victim turned 14 after the alleged crimes.
• Julianne Graham, 25, of Burlington pleaded not guilty Friday to three felony charges of sexual exploitation of a minor in connection with a high school student.
• A former teacher at Pasadena High School has been charged with having an improper relationship with a student, according to court documents.  Ashley Zehnder resigned from the school on Oct. 9, officials with the Pasadena Independent School District said.  Zehnder, 24, began a sexual relationship with a male student in late May, at the end of the last school year, according to Harris County court documents.
• Sarpy County woman Christina M. Greer was found guilty of sexually assaulting two boys, ages 12 and 13, and was sentenced in June 2021 to 64 to 102 years in prison. The abuse took place at her home in Papillion, Nebraska, during sleepovers with friends of her daughter.
• A woman has been found guilty of having sex with her teenage foster son.  Kim Carrera, 50, was caught with the 17-year-old in her car by police late at night in a parking lot.
• A machete-wielding Montana woman broke into her ex-boyfriend’s home, directed him to disrobe, and then forced him to have sex with her, according to police.  As detailed in a criminal complaint, Samantha Mears, 19, entered the victim’s Great Falls residence Friday when he was not home. When the man returned, Mears “confronted him from behind with a machete.” Mears then allegedly told the man to “get on the bed and remove his clothes.”
• A former Bastrop High School teacher was arrested last week after being accused of having a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old student, according to court records.  Hailey Pardy, 25, was arrested by Round Rock police Thursday after she was indicted by a Bastrop County grand jury for allegedly having an improper relationship with a student, a second-degree felony punishable by up to 20 years in prison.
• The married Texas teacher who famously flashed a broad smile in her mugshot after being accused of romping with a 17-year-old student pleaded guilty this week to the crime.  Sarah Madden Fowlkes, 28, submitted her plea Thursday to a Caldwell County judge, who has yet to accept it, according to FOX 29 San Antonio.
• Clark County School District police arrested a middle school teacher Friday.  A district spokeswoman confirmed the arrest of Nicole Wilfinger, who chairs the math department at Molasky Junior High School, located on Gilmore Avenue between Buffalo Road and Cimarron Road.  Wilfinger, 37, is being held at the Clark County Detention Center on $60,000 bail. She faces three charges of statutory sexual seduction by a person older than 21, one charge of engaging in sexual conduct with a student between 14 and 15 years of age, one charge of engaging in sexual conduct with student between 16 and 17 years of age, and three charges of lewdness with a child older than 14.
• A former middle school lunch lady accused of repeatedly molesting a 15-year-old boy pleaded guilty today to four counts of rape of a child as jury selection was getting underway for her trial, a spokesman for Norfolk District Attorney Michael W. Morrissey said.  Janelle Foley, 38, was sentenced by Norfolk Superior Court Judge Thomas A. Connors to 2 1/2 to 4 1/2 years in prison on the first count, to be followed by five years’ probation for the remaining three counts.
• The small community of Englewood has been rocked by the disturbing news of a woman indicted by the McMinn County Grand Jury on numerous charges related to sexual encounters with McMinn Central High School students.  ... Melissa Blair, a 38-year-old from Englewood, is charged with solicitation of a minor, 18 counts of aggravated statutory rape, 4 counts of human trafficking by patronizing prostitution, and forfeiture of personal property, according to the McMinn County Sheriff's Office.
• A Connecticut woman is facing charges after police say she had sex with her friend’s 10-year-old son while baby-sitting for the family in Meriden.  Police said Marybeth Rataic, 25, of Willimantic, sexually assaulted the boy three to four times over two weeks in August at the family home in Meriden while she baby-sat four children while their mother was in the hospital giving birth.
• A school nurse in Maryland faces charges after she allegedly admitted to performing oral sex on several students, according to officials.  Samantha Marsh, who works at Crisfield High School & Academy, was arrested Tuesday following allegations she had sexual encounters with four students in the back of her van, news station WBOC reported.
• Metro Police released Monday the mugshot of a female teacher accused of having sex with a student.  Kristy Yegge, a teacher at Veterans Tribute Career and Technical Academy, was arrested Thursday, Metro said.  Police said the 38-year-old committed a sex act with a student between the age of 16 and 17.  Parents are shocked by what has happened.
• An elementary school teacher in Arizona has pleaded guilty to having an on-going sexual relationship with one of her 6th grade students.  Brittany Zamora, 28, pleaded guilty on Monday to charges of sexual contact with a minor, attempted molestation and public sexual indecency, according to court records.  Zamora was arrested in March 2018 after her victim's parents discovered several sexually charged messages on his phone. The boy's stepmother began noticing the 13-year-old boy was acting mysteriously and began shutting his door at night.
• A former teaching aide in Texas is being accused of engaging in sexual activity with three male students ages 17 and under -- including one alleged encounter that happened after she put her young child to bed inside her home.  Ashlyn Faye Bell has been charged with two counts of improper relationship between educator and student and one count of sexual assault of a child stemming from the alleged incidents at her New Boston home last year, according to the Texarkana Gazette.
• A teaching assistant has been jailed for 60 years after she raped an 11-year-old boy.  Jessica-Jewel Corin Benton was arrested in September 2016 when she was caught by another student who told his mother what he had seen.
• A former Wisconsin high school teacher had sex with one of her students during her fiance's bachelor party, police say.  Sara Domres, 28, of Sullivan, was released on $1,000 bail after a court appearance Friday. Her next court date is May 4.  The New Berlin West High School teacher has pleaded not guilty to having sex with a student. She was fired in January, according to WISN.  The teenager told police he had sex with Domres between 10-15 times. Most of the encounters happened at the Park and Ride in New Berlin. One happened at a motel on the night of her now-husband's bachelor party, according to WISN.
• A California high school teacher has been arrested on allegations of engaging in “sexual activity” with an underage male student, RadarOnline.com has learned.  According to the SB County Sheriff’s Office, 38-year-old math teacher Tracy Vanderhulst from Yucaipa High School in San Bernardino County was taken into custody Thursday night.
• A California mom has been busted for having a sexual relationship with her teenage daughter’s ex-boyfriend, police said.  Fereshta Angel Williams, 38, allegedly had a three-month fling with the unidentified 16-year-old boy, reports NBC San Diego.
• A middle school teacher in North Carolina has been arrested and charged with having an improper sexual relationship with her own 15-year-old foster son, a report says.  Police in Statesville, North Carolina, arrested Christina Davis Jolly, 43, and charged her with statutory rape for the alleged sexual abuse of a 15-year-old boy legally living with her as a foster son, the Statesville Record & Landmark reported.
• Police arrested a former Cumberland County teacher Monday after they alleged she was having a sexual relationship with a student, according to CBS affiliate WRAL.  Laura Garrigus was charged with four counts of taking indecent liberties with a student and two counts of sexual offense with a student, according to the station.
• A New Orleans-area woman was arrested earlier this week after she was accused of a weeks-long sexual relationship with a 16-year-old boy, authorities tell PEOPLE.  December Hebert, 38, was arrested Wednesday in Marrero, outside New Orleans, Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office spokesman Col. John Fortunato says.
• A married teacher who has admitted having sex with an underage student in her Florida classroom told the teen she wanted to leave her husband for him when he turned 18, according to new court documents.  Heather Mashburn-Smith, 37, gave a “full, post-Miranda confession” about having sex with the boy — while admitting she knew he was “just a teenager,” according to her arrest affidavit seen by WBBH-TV.
• A 23-year-old Northeast Independent School District teacher who resigned amid allegations of an inappropriate relationship with a student in December was arrested Friday and charged with the sexual assault of a minor, according to an arrest warrant affidavit.  Maris Gonzalez, 23, is currently being held in the Bexar County Jail. She is suspected of engaging in a sexual relationship with a student at Madison High School.
• Austin police have arrested a Bowie High School teacher who they said had a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old student. 23-year-old Erica Dinora Gomez has been charged with sexual assault of a child and improper relationship between educator and student. 
• Since 2006, at least two female employees at Moore Catholic High School in the New York City borough of Staten Island have been accused of having sex with underage students. ... The woman at the center of this sordid tale is Megan Mahoney, a former assistant girls’ basketball coach, gym teacher and assistant athletic director at Moore Catholic High, the New York Post reports.
• A physical education teacher has been charged with sexual assault for engaging in an apparently consensual relationship with a 17-year-old female student she taught and coached at a southern New Jersey high school.  Erica Umosella, a 28-year-old faculty member at Kingsway Regional High School, was arrested Tuesday. She is charged with three sex-related offenses, including first-degree aggravated sexual assault, according to Bernie Weisenfeld, spokesman for the Gloucester County Prosecutor's office.
• A former high school teacher and coach was sentenced to jail for engaging in unlawful sex acts with an underage student. Rebecca Eileen Diebolt, 37, of Brea, pleaded guilty on Jan. 15, 2016, to one felony count of oral copulation with a minor under 16 and one felony count of sexual penetration with a foreign object of a minor.
• A North Carolina substitute teacher who was photographed sobbing in a mugshot after admitting to having sex with a 15-year-old has reached a plea deal.  Katelyn Dawn Schronce, 33, was arrested on April 17, 2025, and was initially charged with statutory rape, which left her facing up to 30 years behind bars.
• A babysitter who forced a 13-year-old boy to perform sex acts on her has been spared jail.  Mary-Ellen Mooney, who was 18 at the time, rubbed the boy’s thigh and kissed him, then took his hand and put it down her pants.
• An Ohio woman has been charged with raping and robbing a male taxi driver while an accomplice held the victim at knifepoint, according to investigators.  Brittany Carter, 23, was named this month in a two-count felony indictment charging her with aggravated robbery and rape in connection with the alleged attack earlier this year in Findlay, a city about 40 miles south of Toledo.
• An 18 year-old boy whose teacher made him have sex with her killed himself because he was ‘humiliated and embarrassed’ by her exploitation.  Corbin Madison shot himself dead in August 2018, just over a year after teacher Tennille Whitaker was arrested for abusing him.
• A Westmoreland County woman is facing charges for allegedly raping a 5-year-old boy and sharing video of the act on social media.  According to police, 24-year-old Corby Kinzey was arrested Tuesday night at her home in Greensburg.
• A 38-year-old Nebraska mother was found guilty Wednesday of sexually assaulting her daughter’s preadolescent friends, according to Fox News.  A jury found Christina Greer guilty of three counts of first-degree sexual assault of a child, six counts of felony child abuse, as well as two counts of witness tampering, according to Fox News. Greer is guilty of grooming daughters friends aged 12 and 13.
• Former Indianapolis Public Schools (IPS) guidance counselor Shana Taylor, who worked at Longfellow Alternative School, was charged with multiple felony counts of child seduction for engaging in sexual relationships with at least two teenage students.
• A Texas mother is accused of sexually abusing her 10-year-old daughter — and then allegedly making plans for a registered sex offender to join them, police said.  Elizabeth Spaeth, 37, was taken into custody last month after confessing to having sex with her underage daughter on “multiple occasions,” San Antonio Express News reports.
• A former substitute teacher in Louisiana who pleaded guilty to having sex with three boys will be spared jail time, thanks to a plea deal.  Heidi M. Verrett, 34, pleaded guilty on March 22 to three misdemeanor counts of carnal knowledge of a juvenile and one count of contributing to the delinquency of a juvenile after her 2016 arrest on charges of having sex with three 15- and 16-year-old boys at her home, the Houma Courier reported.
• A North Texas special education teacher at an all-boys middle school was indicted by a Dallas grand jury on Wednesday following allegations she inappropriately hooked up with an eighth grade male student, exchanged sexually explicit text messages, solicited sex, and kissed the boy.  In March, Grand Prairie police arrested Rebecca Goerdel, 28, after an investigation revealed the second year special education teacher at the Young Men’s Leadership Academy at Kennedy Middle School behaved inappropriately with an eighth-grader during the 2016-17 academic year.
• A woman stabbed her boyfriend with a steak knife as they lay naked together in bed because he had turned her down for sex, a court heard.  Vicky Ludlow, 37, left her boyfriend with a punctured lung in the stabbing at his flat in Fenton, Stoke-on-Trent.
• A woman convicted of having sex with a 13-year-old schoolboy has avoided a jail term.  And Jordan Lightfoot was warned by Judge David Hale not to invite teenage boys around for a party.  Lightfoot, of Edith Parc Rhyl, was found guilty of three charges of sexual activity with the 13-year-old boy, and also sexual activity by touching with a boy of 15, and causing or inciting the elder boy to engage in sexual activity.
• A California nanny is facing charges for allegedly abusing an 8-month-old baby girl and sending disturbing images of the victim online — all at the direction of a man who received the photos over social media, according to authorities.  Michelle Hidalgo, 28, is accused of molesting the girl after the man requested she do “worse and worse” things to the infant and then document it, law enforcement said in court records obtained by the East Bay Times.
• A 27-year-old math teacher, Jennifer Olajire-Aro, coerced a 17-year-old student into having sex with her, repeatedly threatening to dock his grades if he refused, according to a lawsuit filed by the South Carolina teenager and his mother.
• An Ohio teacher was sentenced on Wednesday to three years in prison for sexual battery after she pleaded guilty to having sex with a 13-year-old female student.  Brooke Rosendale was a fifth grade intervention specialist and a girls volleyball and basketball coach at Riverdale School in Ohio. 
• A 25-year-old teacher charged with second-degree rape of a male student was sentenced to a year in prison on Wednesday.  Kalyn Thompson had been teaching for less than a year when she turned herself into police last May over an inappropriate relationship with a 17-year-old victim.
• A 36-year-old former teacher in Idaho has been busted for allegedly having sex with a teen by cops who found the boy behind the wheel of her car because she was too “drunk to drive,” authorities said.  Jessica Lawson is facing felony rape charges after an officer from Saint Anthony Police Department pulled over her vehicle with no visible taillights on the morning of Nov. 6, only to find a teen boy in the driver’s seat of the car, East Idaho News reported.
• The Sevierville Police Department said detectives arrested Ashley Palmer, a teacher at Sevier County Schools, on Friday afternoon. Palmer is being charged with two counts of statutory rape by an authority figure and two counts of aggravated sexual exploitation, according to SPD. 
• After a weekend of rumors, Kenner police released mug shots and additional details on a sex scandal involving two Destrehan High School English teachers and a student.  Jefferson Parish authorities said both teachers, Shelley S. Dufresne, 32, and Rachel Respess, 24, are facing felony charges of carnal knowledge of a juvenile, contributing to the delinquency of a juvenile and indecent behavior with a juvenile.
• A twisted New Jersey special education teacher allegedly exchanged more than 25,000 text messages with the middle-school boy she is accused of sexually assaulting, according to a seven-count indictment.  Freehold Intermediate School’s Allison Havemann-Niedrach sent thousands of messages to the 15-year-old victim starting when the alleged abuse began in early 2024, and stopped in June with her arrest, according to the indictment.
• A St. Johns County teacher who was arrested late Wednesday afternoon after being accused of having sex with a student is married and is expecting her first child, according to her old classmates and friends.  The St. Johns County Sheriff’s Office said Virginia Houston Hinckley, who lives in Jacksonville, turned herself in Wednesday at the Nassau County Sheriff’s Office, after learning a warrant for her arrest was issued. 
• A female teacher at an elite Los Angeles private school has been accused of having sex with a 16-year-old student, it was learned Sunday.  Aimee Palmitessa, 45, a teacher at the Brentwood School, was arrested Friday, Los Angeles Police spokesman Tony Im told Fox News.
• The tattoo can be erased, but a criminal record lasts a lifetime.  A North Carolina teacher accused of having sex with a high school student in a ménage a trois with her husband also got a tattoo with 15-year-old girl’s initials and likeness, police allege.  Durham County Sheriff’s executed a search warrant on Thursday to seize computers, cellphones and take a photo of Michelle Smith White, 37, of Durham, N.C. White was charged in July with taking indecent liberties and sexual offense with a student at Jordan High School, the News & Observer reported.

And on and on and on.

Seems like women as sexual predators is a problem in our society.  I'm still not persuaded, though, that we should view all women as categorical "potential" sexual predators until and unless they demonstrate that they are not.  Safety and mitigation measures should be utilized, definitely.

6 hours ago, bluebell said:

I agree that most men are not those things.  It's too bad you can't tell the difference between the good ones and the bad ones until it's too late most of the time.

If men don't like the prejudice, they should work harder to stop the bad ones.  

I'm no longer in a place where I can give grace for a lot of this section and I don't want to have hard feelings towards you so I'm going to bow out of the conversation.  There isn't a reason to continue it and I'm going to say things that I regret (though I believe they are 100% true, there is no way to say them that will bring about any positive result in a discussion on this topic with you).

Thank you for trying.  I mean that sincerely.

As I have noted a few times, I have been trying to utilize in my communications the principles set forth in Habits of a Peacemaker: 10 Habits to Change Our Potentially Toxic Conversations into Healthy Dialogues by Steven T. Collis (2024).

I have tried in this thread to deploy Habit One:

Quote

Habit One:
Intellectual Humility and Reframing

Core Idea: Most of us know far less than we think we do (Dunning-Kruger effect). Recognizing our ignorance is the foundation of peacemaking. We must reframe conversations from “winning” to “solving a shared problem.”

Main Points:

• “A little learning is a dang’rous thing” (Alexander Pope). Acting on partial knowledge causes harm.

• The Black Death example: 14th-century scholars blamed the plague on planetary alignment and earthquakes instead of bacteria.

• The Dunning-Kruger effect and “beginner’s bubble” of overconfidence.

• Reframing technique: Explicitly acknowledge how little we (and everyone) knows, then frame the conversation as a joint problem-solving exercise.

• Even experts should use their knowledge to frame problems helpfully rather than to dominate.

Practical Takeaways:

• Before any hard conversation, remind yourself: “I know only a fraction of what there is to know on this topic.”

• Reframe: “This seems complex. What data/sources are we using? What cause are we trying to solve?”

If you are the expert, use your knowledge to lay out the best arguments on both sides, not to bulldoze.

In attempting to reframe conversations from “winning” to “solving a shared problem,” I have not succeeded.

Also Habit Four:

Quote

Habit Four:
Don’t Feed People’s Worst Fears

Core Idea: Avoid language or framing that triggers fear or defensiveness. Fear shuts down dialogue; calm curiosity opens it.

Main Points:

• Fear activates the amygdala and fight-or-flight, making productive talk impossible.

• Media, politicians, and algorithms thrive on fear because it drives engagement.

• Technique: reframe issues in terms of shared problems and solutions rather than threats.

Practical Takeaways:

• Monitor your language: avoid “you always/never,” absolutist accusations, or demonizing labels.

• Use collaborative framing: “Here’s a challenge we both care about—how might we address it?”

I have attempted to "{a} void language or framing that triggers fear or defensiveness."  I have not succeeded.

Also Habit Five:

Quote

Habit Five:
Hunt for the Best Argument Against You

Core Idea: Actively seek the strongest counterarguments to your own views. This combats confirmation bias and makes your positions stronger (or leads you to change them).

Main Points:

• Steel-manning (vs. straw-manning) the other side.

• Intellectual humility in practice: “What is the best case against my position?”

• Benefits: sharper thinking, better persuasion, genuine learning.

Practical Takeaways:

• Before debates, write down the strongest version of the opposing view.

• In conversation: “What do you think is the best argument against your own position?” (model it yourself first).

I was not really trying for a "debate," but it seems I started one anyway.  I also sought from you folks "the strongest version of the opposing view" (from my own).  I think I succeeded to some extent on this.

Also Habit Six:

Quote

Habit Six:
Be Open to Change

Core Idea: Be willing to revise your views when better evidence or reasoning appears. This is not weakness—it is intellectual honesty.

Main Points:

• Example of Supreme Court justices changing minds in Barnette.

• Long reflection: give ideas time to settle.

• Avoid toxic tribalism: principle over party/group loyalty.

• Do not fear reality—concede facts even if they complicate your position.

Practical Takeaways:

• Ask yourself: “What evidence would change my mind on this?”

• When presented with new facts, acknowledge them publicly and adjust.

• If a position is based on a fact that turns out false, concede the point gracefully.

"Be willing to revise your views when better evidence or reasoning appears. This is not weakness—it is intellectual honesty."

I am trying to do this.

And Habit Ten:

Quote

Habit Ten:
Embrace the Discomfort of Non-Closure

Core Idea: Not every conversation needs a winner or final resolution. Be comfortable with ongoing dialogue and incremental progress.

Main Points:

• Realm of Reasonableness: most reasonable positions lie between extremes.

• Small steps forward are still progress.

• Know when certainty matters (core values, especially how we treat people).

• “The decided are always gentle” (Lincoln-era advice).

Practical Takeaways:

• Ask: “Is this position in the Realm of Reasonableness?”

• Celebrate small agreements or new understandings.

• On core values (e.g., treating people kindly), be “decided” and gentle.

"Not every conversation needs a winner or final resolution."  I think this is correct and on display here.

"Realm of Reasonableness: most reasonable positions lie between extremes."  I am trying to sort out how this should apply.  I am generally of a "reasonable minds can disagree about all sorts of things, including important things" mindset.  Here, I think you feel I am not within the "realm of reasonableness."  I will give that some consideration.

So it seems that I will be embracing the discomfort of non-closure.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Thanks,

-Smac

Edited Thursday at 09:47 PM by smac97

[Calm]

7 hours ago, MustardSeed said:

would not sign on to be the bishops advisor, any more than Smac should be the churches free lawyer.  If a bishop wants to consult with me , they all know where to find me but I have never in 20 years had a bishop make an appointment to consult for how to  handle tough parrishoners.  That’s a travesty because plenty of bishops trust me enough to refer me  to others. And as a therapist I myself am trained to consult with a therapist for tough cases.  

I can see some maybe willing after retirement, but this could develop into something that is equivalent to a bishop’s job if they cover a large number of wards, but without counselors and other supports to help out.  Plus there may be no one trained in this field that should be used as a supervisor and this is not something that one should going in as a newbie and gaining experience on, but should start as fully trained.  So they may need to get a nonmember, who is unlikely to volunteer.  Consistency would be best as well, so being an employee rather than a volunteer seems the wisest course for having professionals advisors assisting bishops with this (though I see it as less assistance and more as a team effort since the pro should be able to overrule a bishop who doesn’t believe safety measures should be taken).

It is ridiculous that so many bishops think they are prepared enough to work with offenders, that common sense and love is enough.

[Calm]

7 hours ago, bluebell said:

I realize how snotty that sounds and I'm not saying it in anger.  It's really how the 'not all men' argument comes across to me and many many others.  Plus, being nice and not hurting a man's feelings has actually gotten women killed before so it's a touchy subject)

The dangerous situations I have been in were while I was trying to be nice and not let the guy think I didn’t see him as a friend.  In these cases they restricted my movement, preventing me from leaving the situation (in one case the guy had even disabled my car, so after work I had to be alone with him in an almost empty parking lot, I had told him I didn’t want to go on dates with him any more because he made me uncomfortable, but I had been gentle in doing so and just said I didn’t want to waste his time as I didn’t see it going anywhere; he was attempting to persuade me otherwise by forcing me to listen to him, he even blocked me from closing the car door).

Edited Thursday at 10:51 PM by Calm

[Calm]

6 hours ago, smac97 said:

This is a list of female school teachers who have been accused and/or convicted of sexually assaulting minor students.

 You really need to stop and think why you felt the need to point to women doing wrong to defend against the idea that men can do wrong.  This is a serious suggestion.  All you did at most is justify women being viewed as potential rapists as well.  Was that your intent?  If not, then why did you do it?  Because whatever purpose you had, it likely didn’t work and it should have been obvious it wouldn’t.

Quote

In attempting to reframe conversations from “winning” to “solving a shared problem,” I have not succeeded.

And it would be useful to seriously think why that didn’t happen for you where it did happen with Nehor and has happened with others on the board in the past (and failed not only with you but other posters, so you are not an exception).

My view:  Boys (because they are also physically vulnerable being significantly smaller and slower until adulthood and some even then) and men should be getting the same lessons on safety as well even if in most cases for men with women, they can’t and aren’t physically forced because women are not stronger than they are…though women no doubt have used knives and guns and counted on surprise and being able to exit the situation quickly to grope a man (suspect most men will just freeze to begin with, but some could get violent in response).  

And juveniles are abused about a third of the time by other juveniles, so age may lower the risk, but does not remove it.  Parents need to consider this when thinking about sleepovers, it’s not just the adults that are the issue.  I know one therapist who never let his kids have sleepovers even with us because he had heard too many stories….turned out a distant relative of my husband every adult thought was great had been abusing kids for decades, mostly  very young ones.  Between the two of them, I am antisleepovers now as well because that would have been a case of I ‘knew better’, I would have felt secure in letting my kids sleep at that pervert’s house because his wife was fantastic and is fantastic.  A lovely woman who was completely fooled by her husband, I am certain…because no one told her to look for red flags, but that her feelings of trust and love would be enough (she is 30 years older than me, so it’s understandable why she missed it as her generation never talked about it and emphasized loyalty and love and trust towards one’s spouse, so my guess is if she ever felt uncomfortable, she unwittingly suppressed it)..

Lessons for all youth need to be about preparing oneself so one can be safer in the presence of other men and women as well.

Smac, you have now have justified a world where everyone needs to be vigilant towards anyone else until they know better…and even then need to still remember stress and trauma may change people, so probably best never to think such is impossible to happen, but keep in mind somewhere an awareness of red flags.

Guess we can end this conversation on this note:

You, Smac, are quite right that women should not be thinking “every man is a potential rapist” as that is a potentially harmful belief.  It should be “every person is a potential rapist” instead and not just women, but men as well.

Welcome to reality.  Good luck.

Edited Thursday at 11:34 PM by Calm

[smac97]

2 hours ago, Calm said:

 You really need to stop and think why you felt the need to point to women doing wrong to defend against the idea that men can do wrong.  

I explained it: "Seems like women as sexual predators is a problem in our society.  I'm still not persuaded, though, that we should view all women as categorical "potential" sexual predators until and unless they demonstrate that they are not.  Safety and mitigation measures should be utilized, definitely."

2 hours ago, Calm said:

This is a serious suggestion.  All you did at most is justify women being viewed as potential rapists as well.  

Is that what you take away from that?

2 hours ago, Calm said:

Was that your intent?  

No.

2 hours ago, Calm said:

If not, then why did you do it?  

To respectfully rebut open prejudice and collective and indiscriminate guilt. 

To promote and advocate for situational awareness and safety and mitigation measures.

Some black men commit rape, but I don't think anyone is willing to say "Ah, then all black men are potential rapists."

Some women are sexual predators, but nobody is saying "Ah, then all women are potential sexual predators."

2 hours ago, Calm said:

Because whatever purpose you had, it likely didn’t work and it should have been obvious it wouldn’t.

You raise the specter of indiscriminately imputing collective guilt to women as a category, but you don't actually do it.  You are, however, willing to do that to men.  That seems like a double standard.   

2 hours ago, Calm said:

And it would be useful to seriously think why that didn’t happen for you where it did happen with Nehor and has happened with others on the board in the past (and failed not only with you but other posters, so you are not an exception).

We all have different perspectives.  

2 hours ago, Calm said:

My view:  Boys (because they are also physically vulnerable being significantly smaller and slower until adulthood and some even then) and men should be getting the same lessons on safety as well even if in most cases for men with women, they can’t and aren’t physically forced because women are not stronger than they are…though women no doubt have used knives and guns and counted on surprise and being able to exit the situation quickly to grope a man (suspect most men will just freeze to begin with, but some could get violent in response).  

Okay.  This need not involve telling boys "Women are all potential sexual predators, until and unless they affirmatively demonstrate that they are not."

Nor this: "You are, each and  every one of you, a potential rapist and child molester, until and unless you affirmatively demonstrate that you are not."

I am troubled at messaging about males as a category (that by dint of have an X chromosome, and not based on anything they have actually done, they are justifiably described - apparently to their faces? - as "potential rapists," "potential child molesters," and so on) may have on impressionable young men.  Bluebell dismisses abstaining from such messaging as "being nice and not hurting a man's feelings."  Perhaps this messaging does more than hurt feelings.  Perhaps it runs the risk of demoralizing and alienating young men.  Perhaps this is aptly characterized as prejudice and misandry.  Perhaps it is an unhealthy state of affairs to have advocacy of such ugly sentiments being publicly pronounced and endorsed by Latter-day Saint women in 2026.

Meanwhile, none of you is promoting the idea of going and telling young women "You are, each and every one of you, a potential child molester and sexual predator, until and unless you affirmatively demonstrate that you are not."  That would, in my mind, constitute misogyny, and is also quite a bad idea.

2 hours ago, Calm said:

And juveniles are abused about a third of the time by other juveniles, so age may lower the risk, but does not remove it.  Parents need to consider this when thinking about sleepovers, it’s not just the adults that are the issue.  

Sure.  We never did sleepovers, either hosting them or sending our children to them.

I am very enthusiastic about promoting situational awareness and safety and mitigation measures.  I think we can do that without resorting to open prejudice, collective and indiscriminate guilt, and transmitting demoralizing and alienating messaging to young men.  There are some real costs that come with such things.

2 hours ago, Calm said:

Smac, you have now have justified a world where everyone needs to be vigilant towards anyone else until they know better…and even then need to still remember stress and trauma may change people, so probably best never to think such is impossible to happen, but keep in mind somewhere an awareness of red flags.

I can't stop you from concluding that, but it seems hard to square that with this:

Quote

The categorical suspicion comes with some real costs.  Treating all men as potential threats might feel protective, but it also:

• Risks creating chronic anxiety and hypervigilance;
• Makes it harder to build healthy relationships with good men; and
• Can lead to unfair prejudice (the same logic would be called sexist or bigoted if applied to other groups).

I completely agree women should be smart and cautious "in vulnerable situations."  Situational awareness is wise. But moving from “be careful” to “treat all men as potential rapists” feels like it goes too far and does real damage — both to women and to men who have never harmed anyone.

I’m not saying women should be naive. I’m saying the “treat every man as a threat” approach might be overcorrecting in a way that’s not actually making women safer or happier.

I've seen the "chronic anxiety and hypervigilance" and attendant impairment to "healthy relationships with good men" that comes with prejudicial and inflammatory misandry.  It really is quite damaging.  And it's not necessary.  We can encourage safety and mitigation measures without it.

2 hours ago, Calm said:

Guess we can end this conversation on this note:

You, Smac, are quite right that women should not be thinking “every man is a potential rapist” as that is a potentially harmful belief.  It should be “every person is a potential rapist” instead and not just women, but men as well.

Welcome to reality.  Good luck.

I am sorry that you feel that way.  That blows past open prejudice and misandry and dives headlong into misanthropy against the children of God.  I don't think that's how the Lord wants us to view each other.

I am grateful my sons have not read what you and Bluebell have said in this thread.  I hope that they do not encounter the messaging you are advocating.  That this ugliness is coming from Latter-day Saint women I have admired and respected in virtually all other respects is quite troubling.

Thanks,

-Smac

Edited Friday at 02:06 AM by smac97

[Rain]

35 minutes ago, smac97 said:

I explained it: "Seems like women as sexual predators is a problem in our society.  I'm still not persuaded, though, that we should view all women as categorical "potential" sexual predators until and unless they demonstrate that they are not.  Safety and mitigation measures should be utilized, definitely."

Is that what you take away from that?

No.

To respectfully rebut open prejudice and collective and indiscriminate guilt. 

To promote and advocate for situational awareness and safety and mitigation measures.

Some black men commit rape, but I don't think anyone is willing to say "Ah, then all black men are potential rapists."

Some women are sexual predators, but nobody is saying "Ah, then all women are potential sexual predators."

You raise the specter of indiscriminately imputing collective guilt to women as a category, but you don't actually do it.  You are, however, willing to do that to men.  That seems like a double standard.   

We all have different perspectives.  

Okay.  This need not involve telling boys "Women are all potential sexual predators, until and unless they affirmatively demonstrate that they are not."

Nor this: "You are, each and  every one of you, a potential rapist and child molester, until and unless you affirmatively demonstrate that you are not."

I am troubled at messaging about males as a category (that by dint of have an X chromosome, and not based on anything they have actually done, they are justifiably described - apparently to their faces? - as "potential rapists," "potential child molesters," and so on) may have on impressionable young men.  Bluebell dismisses abstaining from such messaging as "being nice and not hurting a man's feelings."  Perhaps this messaging does more than hurt feelings.  Perhaps it runs the risk of demoralizing and alienating young men.  Perhaps this is aptly characterized as prejudice and misandry.

Meanwhile, none of you is promoting the idea of going and telling young women "You are, each and every one of you, a potential child molester and sexual predator, until and unless you affirmatively demonstrate that you are not."  That would, in my mind, constitute misogyny, and is also quite a bad idea.

Sure.  We never did sleepovers, either hosting them or sending our children to them.

I am very enthusiastic about promoting situational awareness and safety and mitigation measures.  I think we can do that without resorting to open prejudice, collective and indiscriminate guilt, and transmitting demoralizing and alienating messaging to young men.  There are some real costs that come with such things.

I can't stop you from concluding that, but it seems hard to square that with this:

I've seen the "chronic anxiety and hypervigilance" and attendant impairment to "healthy relationships with good men" that comes with prejudicial and inflammatory misandry.  It really is quite damaging.  And it's not necessary.  We can encourage safety and mitigation measures without it.

I am sorry that you feel that way.  That blows past open prejudice and misandry and dives headlong into misanthropy against the children of God.  I don't think that's how the Lord wants us to view each other.

I am grateful my sons have not read what you and Bluebell have said in this thread.  I hope that they do not encounter the messaging you are advocating.  That this ugliness is coming from Latter-day Saint women I have admired and respected in virtually all other respects is quite troubling.

Thanks,

-Smac

I have written a reply to you 3 times, but the board has made them disappear. Hopefully this one will work.  

Stephen Covey (I think) said, paraphrased, "seek first to understand and then seek to be understood." This goes very well with what you have quoted of the book. 

You admitted where you weren't doing well with the book steps. I'm a little frustrated that you didn't end up doing the steps and then instead of trying again (change often takes time and lots of tries) you concluded that step 10 was where the subject would need to end. 

I think it interesting that you recognize some of the LDS women you admire and respect, but then when you fail to go through the steps to actually understand them (note I didn't say agree, I said understand them) you accuse them of ugliness. Like those things you admired about them didn't make you pause and wonder if it was really them being ugly or if maybe you just didn't understand. Those women deserve better than that - at least until you actually understand them.  

Edited Friday at 02:35 AM by Rain

[bluebell]

10 hours ago, smac97 said:

That would be an incorrect assumption.

Also an incorrect assumption.

Understood.  But I don't think I enjoy such a privilege.

I was attempting to have a difficult discussion and share thoughts, with the objective being to suss out perspectives and opinions that may vary from or challenge my own.  I was not intending to present my perspective and thoughts as definitively resolving anything here.  I apologize if I gave that impression.

We're having a discussion, that's all.  Or we were.

Yes.  Quite a bit, in fact:

My comments have delved into the adverse consequences for women ("creating chronic anxiety and hypervigilance" and "harder to build healthy relationships with men") and men ("can lead to unfair prejudice").  

That is not my motive.  

Understood.

Abbie Jane Swogger; Abigail Holloway; Adrienne Laflamme; Alexandria Vera; Alison Mosbeck; Alison Peck; Allenna Ward; Amanda Athey; Amber Jennings; Amber Marshall; Amira Sa’Di; Amy Beck; Amy Bramhall; Amy Elder; Amy Lilley; Amy McElhenny; Amy N. Miller; Amy Northcutt; Amy Yarbrough; Andrea Fox; Andrea Martinez; Angela Christine Coffey; Angela Comer; Angela Palmer; Angela Stellwag; Anna Bettencourt; Anne Knopf; April Watson; Ashley Hall; Ashley Flores; Autumn Leathers; Barbara Anderson; Becci Hill; Beth Ann Chester; Beth Raymond; Beth Shepherd; Bethany Sherrill; Brandy Lynn Gonzales; Brenda Baillargeon; Brenda Osborne; Bridgett Szychulski; Brittni Colleps; Cameo Patch; Carmen Brown; Carol Flannigan; Carrie McCandless; Carrie O’Conner; Cathy Heminghaus; Celeste Emerick; Chandra Franks; Christel C. Gravlin; Christie Elliot; Christina Gallagher; Christina Oliver; Christine Duda; Christine Scarlett; Christine Jouini; Christine McCallum; Christine Spaich; Christy Anne Brown; Christy Martin; Claire Richards; Courtney Bowles; Courtney Jarrell; Cris Morris; Crissy Hisey; Crystal Wells; Cynthia Horvath; Danielle Jones; Danielle Watkins; Darcie Esson; Dawn Welter; Deanna Bobo; Deborah Reeder; Debra LaFave; Denise Keesee; Diana Canter; Donna Washburne; Dorothy Dixon; Elisa Martinelli; Elisha Kingsley; Elizabeth Livesay; Elizabeth Miklosovic; Elizabeth Munn; Elizabeth Stow; Ellen Garfield; Ellen Niemiec; Emily Elizabeth Housley; Emily Morris; Erica Baker; Erica Rutters; Erica Umosella; Erin McLean; Erin Queen; Ethel Anderson; Franca and Antonia Munoz-Juvera; Gail E. Gagne; Gay Lyn Turley; Georgianne Harrell; Gina Marie Watring; Gwen Cardozo; Haven Kirkpatrick; Heather Lea Burroughs; Heather Ingram; Heather Kennedy; Heather Thorsby; Heather Lynne Zeo; Hope Jacoby; Hope Johns; Jacquelyn Faith Garrison; Jamie Armstrong; Jamie Waite; Janelle Batkins; Janelle Bird; Janet Hughes; Janet Parker; Jaymee Wallace; Jennifer Cisco; Jennifer Dempsey; Jennifer Dorland; Jennifer Espinosa; Jennifer Mally; Jennifer Rice; Jennifer Tarkenton; Jennifer Whiting; Jessica Bailey Wishnask; Joan Marie Sladky; Jodi Church; Julia Lund; Julie A. Denno; Julie Pritchett; Kalyn Darby Thompson; Kandace Christopher; Kanesa Hopkins; Karen Patton; Karen Robbins; Kasey Johnes; Katherine J. Harder; Katherine Hicks; Katherine Tew; Kathy White; Katie Cross; Katryna Martin; Kellie Ann Cormican; Kelly Ann Garcia; Kelly Dalecki; Kelsey Peterson; Kenzi Friday; Kesha D. Manuel; Kimberly Lynch; Kinsley Wentzky; Kirsten Kinley; Kristen Margrif; Kristi Oakes; Kristy Sanchez-Trujillo; Kristyn Breeds; Lakina Stutts; Laura Lynn Findlay; Laura Pace; Lauren Cosgrove; Lauren Harrington-Cooper; Leslie Baird; Linda Hardan; Linda Nef; Linda Pithyou; Lindsay Massaro; Lisa Lavoie; Lisa Robyn Marinelli; Lynn Saunders; Marcie L. Rousseau; Marcy R. Fisher; Margaret De Barraicua; Maria Guzman Hernandez; Maria Saco; Mariella Brenlla; Marla Gurecki-Haskins; Mary Jo Spack; Mary Kay Letourneau; Megan Mahoney; Megan Sainsbury; Megan Snipes; Melinda Deluca; Melinda Dennehy; Melissa Andreini; Melissa Bare; Melissa Chase; Melissa Deel; Melissa Diana Koeh; Melissa Lavender; Melissa Dawn McCord; Melissa Moss; Melissa Snow; Melissa Weber; Meredith Hollen; Meredith Kane; Michelle Farley; Michelle Kush; Michelle Morano; Michelle VanMeter; Michelle Zulkowsky; Natalie Fraxedas; Natasha Sizow; Nicole Barnhart; Nicole Dufault; Nicole Kurowski; Nicole Long; Nicole Pomerleau; Pamela Balogh; Pamela Diehl-Moore; Pamela Smart; Pamela Rogers Turner; Rachel Burkhart; Rachel Holt; Rachelle Heenan; Rachelle Vantucci; Rebecca Boicelli; Rebecca Becker and Maria Zurita; Rebecca Bogard; Rebecca Ann Bramlett; Rebecca Lee Kelley; Rebecca Noonan; Rebekah Todd; Rebecca Robertson-Shaffer; Regina McKay; Rhianna Ellis; Rita Brum; Robin Gialanella; Robin Winkis; Rosanna Encinas Brown; Samantha Solomon; Sandra Binkley; Sandra Borrego; Sandra “Beth” Geisel; Sarah Bridges; Sarah Joel; Sarah Raymo; Sarah L. Tolzien; Shannon Best; Shannon Herring; Shannon Young; Sharon Rutherford; Shebana Rajput; Shelley Allen; Sheila Vazquez; Sheral Smith; Sherry Brians; Sheryl A. Namahine; Stacy Hopkins; Stephanie Adams; Stephanie Burleson; Stephanie Giambelluca; Stephanie Diane Harris; Stephanie Ragusa; Stephanie Seabury; Stephanie Ann Stein; Stephanie Jo Walters; Summer Hansen; Susan Clickner; Tabitha Adams; Tamara Ryman; Tara Driscoll; Tawni Wimberley; Teresa Engelbach; Tina Mason; Toni Allexy; Toni Woods; Traci Tapp; Valynne Bowers; Wendie Schweikert; and Yvette Starzyk.

This is a list of female school teachers who have been accused and/or convicted of sexually assaulting minor students.

And this list was compiled in 2014.

A few more since then (mostly, but not exclusively, teachers) :

• Maris Nichols, the Georgia teacher arrested for allegedly R*PING a student in a classroom closet, has been arrested AGAIN on additional charges after being accused of abusing 5 MORE children.  Nichols allegedly r*ped multiple other children, including at a golf course and in a Hummer. She also reportedly sent explicit pictures of herself to children.
• Samantha J. Watson, of Eastvale in Riverside County {California}, was booked into jail on Friday on charges of sending harmful material to a juvenile, oral copulation and digital penetration, according to authorities. She was taken into custody without incident.
• A first-grade teacher in Washington state allegedly admitted to her husband that she cheated on him with a 16-year-old student — with whom she had sex in his truck, according to court documents.  Mackenzie Naught, 25, allegedly fessed up to her hubby Saturday night, just hours before being arrested on child sex crimes on Sunday, the Spokesman-Review reported. 
• Ashley Fisler, 36.  former middle school teacher at Orchard Valley Middle School, New Jersey accused of r*ping her 14-year-old male student six times.  Had s*x with him in her car and inside the classroom.  Exchanged over 7,500 pages of explicit incriminating text messages.
• The {Georgia Bureau of Investigation} has arrested and charged Danielle Weaver, age 29, of Leesburg, GA, with Child Molestation and Improper Sexual Contact by Employee, Agent, or Foster Parent. On February 4, 2026, the Leesburg Police Department requested the GBI to assist with an investigation into allegations of inappropriate contact between a teacher and a juvenile student at Lee County High School.
• A young Michigan prep school teacher has admitted having sex with a student she was tutoring at his home — a “disgusting” act she even filmed, calling it “not my best thinking.”  Jocelyn Sanroman, now 27, of Pontiac, was sentenced to four to 15 years in prison on Tuesday after earlier pleading guilty to third-degree sexual conduct, FOX 2 Detroit reported.  She was arrested after letting slip to a colleague nearly a year ago that she’d had sex with a 16-year-old male student she was tutoring in 2023, when she was also teaching at Oakside Prep Academy in Waterford Township.
• A former Texas high school teacher and coach who was caught kissing a 16-year-old boy has pleaded guilty to having an improper relationship with two teenagers, authorities said.  Shelby Dawn Lashombe, 25, a former teacher at Valley Mills High School in Valley Mills, pleaded guilty to two counts of improper relationship between educator and student, the McLennan County District Attorney’s Office confirmed to PEOPLE.
• A Louisiana elementary school teacher has been hit with 25 sex charges — including first-degree rape — involving two young students.  Marisa Noel, 31, was arrested and charged Monday following a two-month investigation into her disturbing behavior with a fifth-grader she taught at Teche Elementary School in Breaux Bridge, the St. Martin Parish Sheriff’s Office said.
• A disgraced Ohio high school teacher copped to having a twisted months-long sexual relationship with her 15-year-old student, whom she bombarded with thousands of lurid texts declaring her love.  Jamelah Daboubi, a former teacher at Horizon Science Academy in Columbus, pleaded guilty to gross sexual imposition and unlawful sexual conduct with a minor in Franklin County Common Pleas Court last month, according to court documents obtained by WBNS.
• A disgraced small-town mayor sent several frantic texts to her family and the mother of a 16-year-old boy after she was allegedly caught having sex with the teen at a booze-fueled pool party, according to a report.  Misty Roberts, the 43-year-old former leader of DeRidder, La., texted her ex-husband Duncan Clanton after her own son allegedly caught her committing the disturbing sex crime at a 2024 party, according to a criminal complaint obtained by the Daily Mail.
• A former New Jersey high school English teacher confessed to sexually assaulting two of her former teenage students.  Julie Rizzitello, 37, who had previously worked at Wall Township High School, pleaded guilty to two counts of second-degree sexual assault for incidents that began in 2017, according to a Monmouth County Prosecutor's Office news release. Prosecutors are expected to seek a 10-year prison term and mandatory registration as a sex offender when Rizzitello is sentenced on January 9, 2026.
• A woman accused of having sex with a 14-year-old boy has pleaded guilty to one count of statutory rape and has received a suspended, two-year prison sentence.  Shelby Carol Ann Flores, 24, of Rocky Top was indicted in August by an Anderson County grand jury for having sex with the boy from May 1, 2013, through July 29, 2014.
• A woman who videotaped as she forced a 9-year-old girl to perform sex acts on her husband has been sentenced to 30 years in federal prison, the statutory maximum sentence, announced U.S. Attorney for the Northern District of Texas Erin Nealy Cox.  Dawn Greenwood, 39, pleaded guilty in October to production of child pornography.  According to plea papers, Ms. Greenwood used a cell phone to videotape her husband, Shon Greenwood, and the 9-year-old child, who’d been living at the couple’s home.
• A San Francisco Bay Area woman dubbed by police, prosecutors, and victims as the "party mom" is being sentenced to state prison Thursday after she was convicted for hosting alcohol-fueled parties for her teenage son and friends during the pandemic in which she encouraged child sexual assaults.  Shannon Marie O'Connor, also known as Shannon Bruga, was convicted in March of over 60 crimes, including facilitating the forcible sexual assault of one child onto another child, child endangerment, annoying or molesting a child, and dissuading witnesses from testifying.
• A Michigan woman is facing charges for allegedly using Xbox to foster an inappropriate relationship with an 11-year-old boy.  Jessica Carlton, 44, of Grand Rapids is charged with two counts of attempting to lure or entice a child and a dozen counts of endangering the welfare of a child.  Investigators believe the alleged relationship began in May 2013, when they say the Grand Rapids woman contacted the then 11-year-old boy through Xbox Live. Authorities say the two would play video games together online. Eventually, investigators say the relationship took a turn, and Carlton and the boy shared sexually explicit phone conversations and began exchanging lewd photos and text messages. Prosecutors say Carlton also gave the boy clothes, debit cards and jewelry.
• A woman who raped, tortured and murdered a 12-year-old girl in Paris three years ago was sentenced to life in prison without parole on Friday, according to CNN affiliate BFMTV.  Dahbia Benkired, a 27-year-old woman from Algeria, must spend at least 30 years in prison for her crimes against Lola Daviet, BFMTV reported.
• A 28-year-old woman has been sentenced to jail after pleading guilty to breaking into a man’s apartment and raping him in his sleep.  The Smoking Gun reported that Chantae Marie Gilman will serve nine months in jail after pleading guilty earlier this week.  The crime happened in June of 2013 inside the victim’s Seattle apartment. Gilman has admitted to having sex with the man as he slept.
• Stephanie Peterson, a former middle school teacher, was arrested in February 2018 for allegedly having a secret sexual relationship with a 14-year-old boy, police said.  The teen told investigators in Volusia County, Florida, that Peterson, 26, would give him marijuana.
• In 2012, Cincinnati Bengals cheerleader-turned-teacher Sarah Jones pleaded guilty to having a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old student. Jones taught at Dixie Heights High School in northern Kentucky. 
• An Illinois high school soccer coach was accused in March 2018 of sexually assaulting three students.  Authorities said 28-year-old Cori Beard, a part-time assistant coach for both the boys and girls soccer teams, was allegedly involved in "unlawful sexual acts with three current Vernon Hills High School boys." She was charged with 12 counts of criminal sexual assault.
• An Oklahoma high-school teacher was arrested for allegedly having sex with a male student, after authorities said evidence was found on the boy's phone.  The teacher, Hunter Day, age 22, faces second-degree rape, possession of child pornography and other charges.
• In 2016, Alaina Ferguson, 23, was charged with sexual assault of a 16-year-old boy. He allegedly told police that the relationship was sparked by a note he left on an algebra test in which he wrote his Snapchat user name.
• Brianne Altice, a former Utah high school English teacher, pleaded guilty to sexually abusing three teenage boys who had been students.  Altice was initially free on bail after her 2013 arrest, but was jailed after allegations emerged that she continued a sexual relationship with one of the boys.
• Haeli Noelle Wey, a former Texas math teacher, pleaded guilty in February 2017 to having improper relationships with two of her 17-year-old students.  Wey was 28 when she was accused of having months-long sexual relationships with the victims. She was sentenced to 10 years probation.
• Iowa substitute teacher Mary Haglin was arrested July 22, 2016 and charged with having a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old boy.
• Virginia Houston Hinckley, a 26-year-old St. Augustine, Fla. high school teacher, was charged with having unlawful sexual activity with a 16-year-old boy in 2015.  The two exchanged nude photos, according to the student, and allegedly had sex in a park.
• A former teacher at a Detroit-area high school accused of having sex with a 15-year-old student was sentenced to 6 to 15 years in prison in 2015.  Authorities said Kathryn Ronk, 30, engaged in sexual acts with the teenager in classrooms at Bishop Foley High School in Madison Heights. 
• Melody Lippert, 38, and Michelle Ghirelli, 30, were sentenced to probation after having sex with students on a November 2014 beach trip in California.  Both Lippert and Ghirelli worked at South Hills High School, located outside of Los Angeles.
• Police in Florida arrested Port St. Lucie High School teacher Tiffany Michelle Geliga in May 2017 after a 17-year-old male student alleged the two had sex in her car on two separate occasions. 
• Stacy Schuler, a 33-year-old high school health teacher from southwest Ohio, was convicted of having sex with five students in 2011.  According to The Middletown Journal newspaper, a former high school football player testified that he and a friend had sex with Schuler at her home.
• Megan Crafton of Indiana was sentenced to probation after a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old male student.  The part-time assistant cheerleading coach at Shelbyville High School admitted to performing oral sex on the teen in her car in January 2012.
• Police arrested 36-year-old South Carolina teacher Carole Ann Hope in 2011 after she allegedly had sex with a 14-year-old former middle-school student. 
• Ashley Anderson, a high school teacher in Iowa, was sentenced to up to five years in prison for inappropriate sexual relationships with four male students in 2011. The teacher, then 24, sent students nude photographs of herself and had sex with one student at his home, according to a complaint. 
• In March 2012, Gabriela Compton got lifetime probation after having sexual contact with two students. Police say Compton sent a photo of her breasts to male students at Western Valley Middle School in Arizona.  In the course of an investigation, officers learned Compton previously had sexual contact with two male students, ages 13 and 14.
• California high school teacher Nadia Christine Diaz was sentenced in 2012 to three years of probation and 30 days in an adult offender work program for having sex with a 14-year-old student in 2009. 
• Denver-area high school teacher Lauren Redfern was sentenced to sex offender treatment in August 2012 after she was caught having sex with a 17-year-old male student in the teacher's bathroom.
• New Jersey high school teacher Kristin Leone, 26, was sentenced to a year in jail in 2013 after she pleaded guilty to having sex with a 16-year-old student.
• Kathyrin Murray, 29, a West Houston middle school teacher, was sentenced to a year in jail after having sex with a 15-year-old boy at his home in 2012 while his parents were away.  Police said they later discovered that Murray had sex with the same boy at a hotel on the night of a school dance and in her classroom.
• Kimberly Naquin, a geography teacher, pleaded guilty in March 2017 to having a sexual relationship with a female student, then 16, while employed at Destrehan High in St. Charles Parish, Louisiana. 
• Former Osceola County, Florida, teacher Kacy Wilson pleaded guilty to having sex with a 16-year-old student and sending pornographic photos to the teen in 2012.
• Loni Marie Folks, a Missouri elementary school teacher, pleaded guilty in 2008 to having sex with a 16-year-old student.  The teen was a foreign exchange student from Italy staying in the home of Folks and her husband. 
• An Oregon Christian school teacher had a sexual relationship with a student when he was as young as 15, authorities said.  The teacher, Andrea Baber, also allegedly gave they boy marijuana.
• Soap opera actress-turned New Jersey high school drama teacher Lisa Glide was sentenced to five years probation for having sex with a high school student twice off campus in 2008. The 17-year-old victim says he pursued her. 
• Jamee Hiatt, a former Michigan elementary and middle school teacher, admitted to having a sexual relationship with a student beginning in 2014, when he was 13.
• Officials in Angelina County, Texas, say 38-year-old Heather Robertson had sex with at least six high school students, two at the same time and two others on multiple occasions, between November 2016 and April 2017 at her Lufkin home.
• North Carolina math teacher Erin McAuliffe, 25, was accused in May 2017 of having inappropriate sexual contact with three male students who attended Rocky Mount Preparatory School, where she taught. 
• Nataly Lopez, a New Jersey middle school teacher, was accused in June 2017 of having sexual relations with one of her male students. She allegedly engaged in sexual acts with the student in her vehicle on two occasions and exchanged sexually explicit messages with him online.
• Laura Ramos, a Connecticut special education teacher, was charged in June 2017 with engaging in a sexual relationship with an 18-year-old student in the special ed program. 
• Nikki Varney, a science teacher at Williamsburg High School in Pennsylvania, was charged on Aug. 25, 2017 with eight counts related to unlawful sex with a minor, including two charges of institutional sexual assault. A 15-year-old boy told school officials and investigators that he and Varney had sex in a state park and at her home during the previous month.
• A woman was arrested and charged with being drunk in public after police said she was caught having sex with an unconscious man.  The woman, 36-year-old Kimberly M. Jackson, was later released on bond.
• An Ankeny High School teacher was arrested Friday on a charge of sexual exploitation by a school employee.  Amanda Caye Dreier, 27, had an ongoing sexual relationship with an 18-year-old male student who graduated from the high school in the spring, according to police. She was an English teacher at the school.
• The family of a 16-year-old Tennessee boy has filed a $4.5 million lawsuit against Roane County Schools and contractor Compass One Services of Tennessee for negligence after they say a female janitor at the teen's former high school raped him during school hours, the Knoxville News Sentinel reports. The complaint alleges that Jessica Galyon, a married mom who was arrested Feb. 23 on sexual battery and statutory rape charges, started talking with the boy in August, coerced him into becoming Facebook friends, then started sending "flirtatious and sexual messages" to him, despite the teen telling her her advances were "unwelcome."
• Carissa Smith, a teacher at the Dixon School District in MO was arrested on 19 charges including r*pe after she was caught allegedly paying students to have s*x with her. She also reportedly smoked marijuana with students.
• A teacher at South Iredell High School was charged after having a sexual relationship with a student, according to the Iredell Sheriff's Office.  The investigation began when an Iredell County deputy saw a suspicious vehicle parked in an undeveloped residential area. The deputy said a woman, later identified as 37-year-old Julianna Ortiz Mills, was standing next to the vehicle and a younger male was sitting inside.
• On Tuesday afternoon Mobile County sheriff's deputies arrested a former Faith Academy teacher accused of having a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old student, according to authorities.  According to the Mobile County Sheriff's Office, 33-year-old Christina Busby was no longer working at Faith Academy when authorities arrested her Tuesday.
• Eileen McBrien, 62, will spend six years in jail after a jury found her guilty of inciting a child to engage in sexual activity.
• A mother accused of raping her own children will be behind bars until she’s at least 90 years old.  The son of Angela Montgomery, 53, gave a strong victim impact statement in her sentencing hearing Wednesday.
• A Florida woman has been arrested on Tuesday after she allegedly raped and had a sexual relationship with an 11-year-old boy starting in 2014 and getting pregnant as a result.  Marissa A. Mowry, 25, was arrested by the Hillsborough County Sheriffs Office and taken to the county’s jail, Fox 13 reported.
• A Lafayette woman is accused of videotaping herself performing oral sex on a 1-year-old boy.  According to court documents, Jessica McCain told investigators that she recorded the sex act on a borrowed cell phone.
• A twenty-four-year-old teacher accused of having sex with a thirteen-year-old student turned herself in to police on Wednesday morning, after a warrant was issued for her arrest.  Alexandria Vera, 24, is charged with continuous sex abuse of a child. Harris County prosecutors said Vera had sex with a 13-year-old boy who was also her student.  The victim turned 14 after the alleged crimes.
• Julianne Graham, 25, of Burlington pleaded not guilty Friday to three felony charges of sexual exploitation of a minor in connection with a high school student.
• A former teacher at Pasadena High School has been charged with having an improper relationship with a student, according to court documents.  Ashley Zehnder resigned from the school on Oct. 9, officials with the Pasadena Independent School District said.  Zehnder, 24, began a sexual relationship with a male student in late May, at the end of the last school year, according to Harris County court documents.
• Sarpy County woman Christina M. Greer was found guilty of sexually assaulting two boys, ages 12 and 13, and was sentenced in June 2021 to 64 to 102 years in prison. The abuse took place at her home in Papillion, Nebraska, during sleepovers with friends of her daughter.
• A woman has been found guilty of having sex with her teenage foster son.  Kim Carrera, 50, was caught with the 17-year-old in her car by police late at night in a parking lot.
• A machete-wielding Montana woman broke into her ex-boyfriend’s home, directed him to disrobe, and then forced him to have sex with her, according to police.  As detailed in a criminal complaint, Samantha Mears, 19, entered the victim’s Great Falls residence Friday when he was not home. When the man returned, Mears “confronted him from behind with a machete.” Mears then allegedly told the man to “get on the bed and remove his clothes.”
• A former Bastrop High School teacher was arrested last week after being accused of having a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old student, according to court records.  Hailey Pardy, 25, was arrested by Round Rock police Thursday after she was indicted by a Bastrop County grand jury for allegedly having an improper relationship with a student, a second-degree felony punishable by up to 20 years in prison.
• The married Texas teacher who famously flashed a broad smile in her mugshot after being accused of romping with a 17-year-old student pleaded guilty this week to the crime.  Sarah Madden Fowlkes, 28, submitted her plea Thursday to a Caldwell County judge, who has yet to accept it, according to FOX 29 San Antonio.
• Clark County School District police arrested a middle school teacher Friday.  A district spokeswoman confirmed the arrest of Nicole Wilfinger, who chairs the math department at Molasky Junior High School, located on Gilmore Avenue between Buffalo Road and Cimarron Road.  Wilfinger, 37, is being held at the Clark County Detention Center on $60,000 bail. She faces three charges of statutory sexual seduction by a person older than 21, one charge of engaging in sexual conduct with a student between 14 and 15 years of age, one charge of engaging in sexual conduct with student between 16 and 17 years of age, and three charges of lewdness with a child older than 14.
• A former middle school lunch lady accused of repeatedly molesting a 15-year-old boy pleaded guilty today to four counts of rape of a child as jury selection was getting underway for her trial, a spokesman for Norfolk District Attorney Michael W. Morrissey said.  Janelle Foley, 38, was sentenced by Norfolk Superior Court Judge Thomas A. Connors to 2 1/2 to 4 1/2 years in prison on the first count, to be followed by five years’ probation for the remaining three counts.
• The small community of Englewood has been rocked by the disturbing news of a woman indicted by the McMinn County Grand Jury on numerous charges related to sexual encounters with McMinn Central High School students.  ... Melissa Blair, a 38-year-old from Englewood, is charged with solicitation of a minor, 18 counts of aggravated statutory rape, 4 counts of human trafficking by patronizing prostitution, and forfeiture of personal property, according to the McMinn County Sheriff's Office.
• A Connecticut woman is facing charges after police say she had sex with her friend’s 10-year-old son while baby-sitting for the family in Meriden.  Police said Marybeth Rataic, 25, of Willimantic, sexually assaulted the boy three to four times over two weeks in August at the family home in Meriden while she baby-sat four children while their mother was in the hospital giving birth.
• A school nurse in Maryland faces charges after she allegedly admitted to performing oral sex on several students, according to officials.  Samantha Marsh, who works at Crisfield High School & Academy, was arrested Tuesday following allegations she had sexual encounters with four students in the back of her van, news station WBOC reported.
• Metro Police released Monday the mugshot of a female teacher accused of having sex with a student.  Kristy Yegge, a teacher at Veterans Tribute Career and Technical Academy, was arrested Thursday, Metro said.  Police said the 38-year-old committed a sex act with a student between the age of 16 and 17.  Parents are shocked by what has happened.
• An elementary school teacher in Arizona has pleaded guilty to having an on-going sexual relationship with one of her 6th grade students.  Brittany Zamora, 28, pleaded guilty on Monday to charges of sexual contact with a minor, attempted molestation and public sexual indecency, according to court records.  Zamora was arrested in March 2018 after her victim's parents discovered several sexually charged messages on his phone. The boy's stepmother began noticing the 13-year-old boy was acting mysteriously and began shutting his door at night.
• A former teaching aide in Texas is being accused of engaging in sexual activity with three male students ages 17 and under -- including one alleged encounter that happened after she put her young child to bed inside her home.  Ashlyn Faye Bell has been charged with two counts of improper relationship between educator and student and one count of sexual assault of a child stemming from the alleged incidents at her New Boston home last year, according to the Texarkana Gazette.
• A teaching assistant has been jailed for 60 years after she raped an 11-year-old boy.  Jessica-Jewel Corin Benton was arrested in September 2016 when she was caught by another student who told his mother what he had seen.
• A former Wisconsin high school teacher had sex with one of her students during her fiance's bachelor party, police say.  Sara Domres, 28, of Sullivan, was released on $1,000 bail after a court appearance Friday. Her next court date is May 4.  The New Berlin West High School teacher has pleaded not guilty to having sex with a student. She was fired in January, according to WISN.  The teenager told police he had sex with Domres between 10-15 times. Most of the encounters happened at the Park and Ride in New Berlin. One happened at a motel on the night of her now-husband's bachelor party, according to WISN.
• A California high school teacher has been arrested on allegations of engaging in “sexual activity” with an underage male student, RadarOnline.com has learned.  According to the SB County Sheriff’s Office, 38-year-old math teacher Tracy Vanderhulst from Yucaipa High School in San Bernardino County was taken into custody Thursday night.
• A California mom has been busted for having a sexual relationship with her teenage daughter’s ex-boyfriend, police said.  Fereshta Angel Williams, 38, allegedly had a three-month fling with the unidentified 16-year-old boy, reports NBC San Diego.
• A middle school teacher in North Carolina has been arrested and charged with having an improper sexual relationship with her own 15-year-old foster son, a report says.  Police in Statesville, North Carolina, arrested Christina Davis Jolly, 43, and charged her with statutory rape for the alleged sexual abuse of a 15-year-old boy legally living with her as a foster son, the Statesville Record & Landmark reported.
• Police arrested a former Cumberland County teacher Monday after they alleged she was having a sexual relationship with a student, according to CBS affiliate WRAL.  Laura Garrigus was charged with four counts of taking indecent liberties with a student and two counts of sexual offense with a student, according to the station.
• A New Orleans-area woman was arrested earlier this week after she was accused of a weeks-long sexual relationship with a 16-year-old boy, authorities tell PEOPLE.  December Hebert, 38, was arrested Wednesday in Marrero, outside New Orleans, Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office spokesman Col. John Fortunato says.
• A married teacher who has admitted having sex with an underage student in her Florida classroom told the teen she wanted to leave her husband for him when he turned 18, according to new court documents.  Heather Mashburn-Smith, 37, gave a “full, post-Miranda confession” about having sex with the boy — while admitting she knew he was “just a teenager,” according to her arrest affidavit seen by WBBH-TV.
• A 23-year-old Northeast Independent School District teacher who resigned amid allegations of an inappropriate relationship with a student in December was arrested Friday and charged with the sexual assault of a minor, according to an arrest warrant affidavit.  Maris Gonzalez, 23, is currently being held in the Bexar County Jail. She is suspected of engaging in a sexual relationship with a student at Madison High School.
• Austin police have arrested a Bowie High School teacher who they said had a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old student. 23-year-old Erica Dinora Gomez has been charged with sexual assault of a child and improper relationship between educator and student. 
• Since 2006, at least two female employees at Moore Catholic High School in the New York City borough of Staten Island have been accused of having sex with underage students. ... The woman at the center of this sordid tale is Megan Mahoney, a former assistant girls’ basketball coach, gym teacher and assistant athletic director at Moore Catholic High, the New York Post reports.
• A physical education teacher has been charged with sexual assault for engaging in an apparently consensual relationship with a 17-year-old female student she taught and coached at a southern New Jersey high school.  Erica Umosella, a 28-year-old faculty member at Kingsway Regional High School, was arrested Tuesday. She is charged with three sex-related offenses, including first-degree aggravated sexual assault, according to Bernie Weisenfeld, spokesman for the Gloucester County Prosecutor's office.
• A former high school teacher and coach was sentenced to jail for engaging in unlawful sex acts with an underage student. Rebecca Eileen Diebolt, 37, of Brea, pleaded guilty on Jan. 15, 2016, to one felony count of oral copulation with a minor under 16 and one felony count of sexual penetration with a foreign object of a minor.
• A North Carolina substitute teacher who was photographed sobbing in a mugshot after admitting to having sex with a 15-year-old has reached a plea deal.  Katelyn Dawn Schronce, 33, was arrested on April 17, 2025, and was initially charged with statutory rape, which left her facing up to 30 years behind bars.
• A babysitter who forced a 13-year-old boy to perform sex acts on her has been spared jail.  Mary-Ellen Mooney, who was 18 at the time, rubbed the boy’s thigh and kissed him, then took his hand and put it down her pants.
• An Ohio woman has been charged with raping and robbing a male taxi driver while an accomplice held the victim at knifepoint, according to investigators.  Brittany Carter, 23, was named this month in a two-count felony indictment charging her with aggravated robbery and rape in connection with the alleged attack earlier this year in Findlay, a city about 40 miles south of Toledo.
• An 18 year-old boy whose teacher made him have sex with her killed himself because he was ‘humiliated and embarrassed’ by her exploitation.  Corbin Madison shot himself dead in August 2018, just over a year after teacher Tennille Whitaker was arrested for abusing him.
• A Westmoreland County woman is facing charges for allegedly raping a 5-year-old boy and sharing video of the act on social media.  According to police, 24-year-old Corby Kinzey was arrested Tuesday night at her home in Greensburg.
• A 38-year-old Nebraska mother was found guilty Wednesday of sexually assaulting her daughter’s preadolescent friends, according to Fox News.  A jury found Christina Greer guilty of three counts of first-degree sexual assault of a child, six counts of felony child abuse, as well as two counts of witness tampering, according to Fox News. Greer is guilty of grooming daughters friends aged 12 and 13.
• Former Indianapolis Public Schools (IPS) guidance counselor Shana Taylor, who worked at Longfellow Alternative School, was charged with multiple felony counts of child seduction for engaging in sexual relationships with at least two teenage students.
• A Texas mother is accused of sexually abusing her 10-year-old daughter — and then allegedly making plans for a registered sex offender to join them, police said.  Elizabeth Spaeth, 37, was taken into custody last month after confessing to having sex with her underage daughter on “multiple occasions,” San Antonio Express News reports.
• A former substitute teacher in Louisiana who pleaded guilty to having sex with three boys will be spared jail time, thanks to a plea deal.  Heidi M. Verrett, 34, pleaded guilty on March 22 to three misdemeanor counts of carnal knowledge of a juvenile and one count of contributing to the delinquency of a juvenile after her 2016 arrest on charges of having sex with three 15- and 16-year-old boys at her home, the Houma Courier reported.
• A North Texas special education teacher at an all-boys middle school was indicted by a Dallas grand jury on Wednesday following allegations she inappropriately hooked up with an eighth grade male student, exchanged sexually explicit text messages, solicited sex, and kissed the boy.  In March, Grand Prairie police arrested Rebecca Goerdel, 28, after an investigation revealed the second year special education teacher at the Young Men’s Leadership Academy at Kennedy Middle School behaved inappropriately with an eighth-grader during the 2016-17 academic year.
• A woman stabbed her boyfriend with a steak knife as they lay naked together in bed because he had turned her down for sex, a court heard.  Vicky Ludlow, 37, left her boyfriend with a punctured lung in the stabbing at his flat in Fenton, Stoke-on-Trent.
• A woman convicted of having sex with a 13-year-old schoolboy has avoided a jail term.  And Jordan Lightfoot was warned by Judge David Hale not to invite teenage boys around for a party.  Lightfoot, of Edith Parc Rhyl, was found guilty of three charges of sexual activity with the 13-year-old boy, and also sexual activity by touching with a boy of 15, and causing or inciting the elder boy to engage in sexual activity.
• A California nanny is facing charges for allegedly abusing an 8-month-old baby girl and sending disturbing images of the victim online — all at the direction of a man who received the photos over social media, according to authorities.  Michelle Hidalgo, 28, is accused of molesting the girl after the man requested she do “worse and worse” things to the infant and then document it, law enforcement said in court records obtained by the East Bay Times.
• A 27-year-old math teacher, Jennifer Olajire-Aro, coerced a 17-year-old student into having sex with her, repeatedly threatening to dock his grades if he refused, according to a lawsuit filed by the South Carolina teenager and his mother.
• An Ohio teacher was sentenced on Wednesday to three years in prison for sexual battery after she pleaded guilty to having sex with a 13-year-old female student.  Brooke Rosendale was a fifth grade intervention specialist and a girls volleyball and basketball coach at Riverdale School in Ohio. 
• A 25-year-old teacher charged with second-degree rape of a male student was sentenced to a year in prison on Wednesday.  Kalyn Thompson had been teaching for less than a year when she turned herself into police last May over an inappropriate relationship with a 17-year-old victim.
• A 36-year-old former teacher in Idaho has been busted for allegedly having sex with a teen by cops who found the boy behind the wheel of her car because she was too “drunk to drive,” authorities said.  Jessica Lawson is facing felony rape charges after an officer from Saint Anthony Police Department pulled over her vehicle with no visible taillights on the morning of Nov. 6, only to find a teen boy in the driver’s seat of the car, East Idaho News reported.
• The Sevierville Police Department said detectives arrested Ashley Palmer, a teacher at Sevier County Schools, on Friday afternoon. Palmer is being charged with two counts of statutory rape by an authority figure and two counts of aggravated sexual exploitation, according to SPD. 
• After a weekend of rumors, Kenner police released mug shots and additional details on a sex scandal involving two Destrehan High School English teachers and a student.  Jefferson Parish authorities said both teachers, Shelley S. Dufresne, 32, and Rachel Respess, 24, are facing felony charges of carnal knowledge of a juvenile, contributing to the delinquency of a juvenile and indecent behavior with a juvenile.
• A twisted New Jersey special education teacher allegedly exchanged more than 25,000 text messages with the middle-school boy she is accused of sexually assaulting, according to a seven-count indictment.  Freehold Intermediate School’s Allison Havemann-Niedrach sent thousands of messages to the 15-year-old victim starting when the alleged abuse began in early 2024, and stopped in June with her arrest, according to the indictment.
• A St. Johns County teacher who was arrested late Wednesday afternoon after being accused of having sex with a student is married and is expecting her first child, according to her old classmates and friends.  The St. Johns County Sheriff’s Office said Virginia Houston Hinckley, who lives in Jacksonville, turned herself in Wednesday at the Nassau County Sheriff’s Office, after learning a warrant for her arrest was issued. 
• A female teacher at an elite Los Angeles private school has been accused of having sex with a 16-year-old student, it was learned Sunday.  Aimee Palmitessa, 45, a teacher at the Brentwood School, was arrested Friday, Los Angeles Police spokesman Tony Im told Fox News.
• The tattoo can be erased, but a criminal record lasts a lifetime.  A North Carolina teacher accused of having sex with a high school student in a ménage a trois with her husband also got a tattoo with 15-year-old girl’s initials and likeness, police allege.  Durham County Sheriff’s executed a search warrant on Thursday to seize computers, cellphones and take a photo of Michelle Smith White, 37, of Durham, N.C. White was charged in July with taking indecent liberties and sexual offense with a student at Jordan High School, the News & Observer reported.

And on and on and on.

Seems like women as sexual predators is a problem in our society.  I'm still not persuaded, though, that we should view all women as categorical "potential" sexual predators until and unless they demonstrate that they are not.  Safety and mitigation measures should be utilized, definitely.

As I have noted a few times, I have been trying to utilize in my communications the principles set forth in Habits of a Peacemaker: 10 Habits to Change Our Potentially Toxic Conversations into Healthy Dialogues by Steven T. Collis (2024).

I have tried in this thread to deploy Habit One:

In attempting to reframe conversations from “winning” to “solving a shared problem,” I have not succeeded.

Also Habit Four:

I have attempted to "{a} void language or framing that triggers fear or defensiveness."  I have not succeeded.

Also Habit Five:

I was not really trying for a "debate," but it seems I started one anyway.  I also sought from you folks "the strongest version of the opposing view" (from my own).  I think I succeeded to some extent on this.

Also Habit Six:

"Be willing to revise your views when better evidence or reasoning appears. This is not weakness—it is intellectual honesty."

I am trying to do this.

And Habit Ten:

"Not every conversation needs a winner or final resolution."  I think this is correct and on display here.

"Realm of Reasonableness: most reasonable positions lie between extremes."  I am trying to sort out how this should apply.  I am generally of a "reasonable minds can disagree about all sorts of things, including important things" mindset.  Here, I think you feel I am not within the "realm of reasonableness."  I will give that some consideration.

So it seems that I will be embracing the discomfort of non-closure.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Thanks,

-Smac

I'm going to post a link to a great article that you might not decide to read but hopefully others will who are interested in this topic.

https://nupoliticalreview.org/2024/11/05/not-all-men-but-enough-men/

"Yes—not every man would willingly engage in sexual violence or gender-related crimes. However, when there are multiple countries stating that gender-based violence is becoming a national emergency and an influx of extremely graphic sexual crimes are regularly reaching the headlines, it is becoming abundantly clear that while it may not be all men, it is enough men. Gender-based violence is not the result of isolated incidents but rather a pervasive, systemic issue fueled by deep-rooted misogyny that spans across global societies. The increasing frequency and severity of gender-related crimes in our so-called “modern world” highlights the urgent need to hold not just individual perpetrators accountable, but to address the cultural, legal, and governmental structures that enable and perpetuate violence against women and girls worldwide." 

Finally, to the problems with bringing up violent women statistics in this discussion is multidimensional so I'm going to let chatgpt summarize:

 Arguments about female offenders often fall flat in discussions about women's safety around men because they conflate individual violent acts with systemic, pervasive threats. While women are entirely capable of committing crimes, the core of the women's safety debate centers on statistical risk, power dynamics, and public intimidation. [1 (https://xyonline.net/content/male-bashing), 2 (https://nupoliticalreview.org/2024/11/05/not-all-men-but-enough-men/), 3 (https://www.facebook.com/psychologytoday/posts/the-idea-of-a-woman-sexually-abusing-her-own-son-is-unthinkable-to-many-which-is/10158348780758845/), 4 (https://utahnewsdispatch.com/2026/01/07/why-utah-still-cant-confront-violence-against-women/), 5 (https://thediplomaticinsight.com/how-anti-gender-backlash-is-reshaping-feminist-activism-in-pak/)]

Here is why these comparisons miss the mark in broader safety conversations:

• Disproportionate Scale: Statistically, the vast majority of violent crime, sexual assault, and harassment globally is perpetrated by men. Focusing on female offenders statistically minimizes the overwhelming, daily reality of the threat women face from male violence. [1 (https://nomas.org/lies-fathers-rights-groups/), 2 (https://medicamondiale.org/en/violence-against-women/causes-and-consequences), 3 (https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/18902138.2026.2657755), 4 (https://wilcunningham.medium.com/all-men-are-dangerous-b3894b15d915)]
•  Power Dynamics and Fear: Conversations about women's safety are deeply tied to the physical intimidation and structural vulnerability women experience. A woman walking alone at night is generally not fearing a random violent attack from another woman; she is navigating the pervasive threat of male physical dominance.
•  Intimate Partner Violence: While women do commit domestic abuse, the severity and lethality of injuries heavily skew towards male perpetrators. The context and fear associated with male-perpetrated domestic violence carry uniquely systemic patterns of control and danger. [1 (https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/00328855221079258), 2 (https://ijsi.in/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/18.02.005.20251002.pdf), 3 (https://www.researchgate.net/publication/10849105_Gender_and_role-based_perceptions_of_domestic_abuse_Does_sexual_orientation_matter)]
•  The "Whataboutism" Effect: Bringing up female offenders in a conversation meant to address male violence is often perceived as derailing the issue. Instead of addressing the specific systemic behaviors that restrict women's freedom (like street harassment or workplace safety), it shifts the focus away from the primary demographic responsible for the vast majority of these offenses.

[smac97]

21 minutes ago, Rain said:

I have written a reply to you 3 times, but the board has made them disappear. Hopefully this one will work.  

Stephen Covey (I think) said, paraphrased, "seek first to understand and then seek to be understood." This goes very well with what you have quoted of the book. 

You admitted where you weren't doing well with the book steps.

Well, it's a difficult topic.  And it takes two to tango...

21 minutes ago, Rain said:

I'm a little frustrated that you didn't end up doing the steps and then instead of trying again (change often takes time and lots of tries) you concluded that step 10 was where the subject would need to end. 

That was in response to Bluebell, who announced she was withdrawing from the discussion.  Habit Ten seemed apt as to her.

21 minutes ago, Rain said:

I think it interesting that you recognize some of the LDS women you admire and respect, but then when you fail to go through the steps to actually understand them (note I didn't say agree, I said understand them) you accuse them of ugliness.

I have been attempting to understand them.  And I think I do to some extent.  I end up disagreeing with them.

As for "ugliness," I don't know how else to characterize acknowledged prejudice.  It's an ugly thing.  

21 minutes ago, Rain said:

Like those things you admired about them didn't make you pause and wonder if it was really them being ugly or if maybe you just didn't understand.

Well, I'm open to learning.  

21 minutes ago, Rain said:

Those women deserve better than that - at least until you actually understand them.  

I am still in the thread.  Still attempting to converse.  With people who are calling me a "potential rapist."  Not because of anything I have ever done or said, but simply because I am male.  There's a word for that.

Thanks,

-Smac

[Calm]

16 minutes ago, smac97 said:

respectfully rebut open prejudice and collective and indiscriminate g

Except that’s not what you accomplished and I am rather surprised you weren’t aware apparently that it wouldn’t do that as your argument is not a logical rebuttal of the point of view, it is just another restatement of your own POV that the presence of wrongdoing is not a reason to be cautious with everyone until there is sufficient reason not to be.  
 

If it didn’t work by pointing out not all men were perpetrators, why would it work be more reasonable to point out not lots of women are predators to?

There are many women who may not feel threatened in the same way by other women, but there is a category difference with men that makes your point useless:  women are not inherently stronger or faster or more aggressive than other women, there is therefore much less chance that one can be physically controlled by another woman while the chance is very high that almost every man a woman will encounter will be able to physically overpower them. 
 

Quote

To promote and advocate for situational awareness and safety and mitigation measures.

Which is what most women are doing when they say “every man is a potential witness” so why are you arguing against it?

Quote

You raise the specter of indiscriminately imputing collective guilt to women as a category, but you don't actually do it.  

No, I am not.  You are simply going there even though I specifically say I do not.

Since you seem to approve of Chat, this was its response when I asked it “what is the meaning of “every man is a potential rapist”?

Quote

Most commonly, it does not literally mean “all men will commit rape.” Instead, it is usually expressing one of several related ideas:

 

1. Women often cannot know in advance which men are dangerous
   From a woman’s perspective, a stranger—or sometimes even an acquaintance—may appear trustworthy until he is not. So women are socially conditioned to take precautions around men generally, not because all men are guilty, but because identifying the small minority who are dangerous beforehand is difficult.
2. Male physical power and social patterns create asymmetrical risk
   The argument is that men, on average, have greater physical strength and commit the overwhelming majority of sexual assaults. Therefore women navigate public and private life with a background awareness of vulnerability.
3. Critique of rape culture or social norms
   Some feminists used the phrase to argue that ordinary social attitudes—entitlement, coercion, minimizing consent violations, pressure around sex, victim blaming—can create environments where sexual aggression is normalized or excused even among otherwise “normal” men.
4. Potential vs. actual
   Advocates sometimes defend the wording by comparing it to saying “every gun is a potential weapon.” The idea is about capability or uncertainty, not inevitability. Critics respond that applying this framing to an entire sex unfairly stigmatizes innocent people.

 

If you want to promote shared understanding, you need to pay attention to what others are saying and that doesn’t mean just their most recent post in the conversation.  Which why I wonder why you claim I am not doing it to women and instead have a double standard?

Quote

That seems like a double standard

I have said over and over, including in that post that I believe was women (and men) should view anyone as a potential threat, Iow always be prepared.  I mentioned earlier my most violent experience was with a woman (a near relative in fact).

It appears you continue to make assumptions about what I believe and this misinterpret me. Maybe you should consider this is happening with other women in this context.

Yes, there is a small segment of women who intentionally use this and other phrases to attack all men as inherently violent.  I have no problem if you want to critique that particular usage, but to dismiss the phrase outright as problematic is inappropriate imo. Find out first how women are using it rather than critiquing it immediately.  Then critique what they actually mean if that’s problematic.  
 

Just because you think it’s making women inappropriate hyper vigilante and interfering with forming decent attachments to men (as opposed to actual experiences of being assaulted by men) and creating inappropriate discrimination against men in general doesn’t mean it’s actually happening.  I have seen benefit from teaching women to be aware that one can’t tell who will be violent just by looking at them, so I want to see evidencd the downside is higher than the benefits of helping people be better prepared and therefore safe before I start promoting the complete retirement of the phrase.

As long as our culture emphasizes the woman’s role in preventing sexual violence and does not address effectively the man’s role, we will continue to get such maxims in our culture to help spread awareness among women.  If we want to avoid violence, education is the best way.  Ignoring the problem or downplaying it certainly hasn’t worked.

I myself would not use the phrase “every man is a potential rapist” (it’s too close to becoming a cliche which are too easy to ignore, imo) when counseling others to adopt safety routines and increase awareness, but I won’t tell others not to use it unless I know they are doing it to ascribe blame to all men (have never talked to a woman who does that, btw).  I would instead stress how even though there are red flags out there and we need to be aware of them, there is not guarantee when it comes to predicting who will be violent or where assaults will happen for individuals or their loved ones, so it’s best to be prepared.  And I would give examples of the most ‘unlikely’ predators…and I would definitely include women and juveniles in those examples.  

I would also encourage rehearsing in one’s mind the worst scenarios and even perhaps role playing with one’s children what one should do when in a dangerous situation so we are less likely to freeze or be clueless about how to react. 
 

[Calm]

1 hour ago, smac97 said:

I've seen the "chronic anxiety and hypervigilance" and attendant impairment to "healthy relationships with good men" that comes with prejudicial and inflammatory misandry.  It really is quite damaging.  And it's not necessary.  We can encourage safety and mitigation measures without it.

Given that every woman I know has similar experiences to MustardSeed and myself (and most women don’t share them very often, my husband doesn’t know them all in my case), how do you know the chronic anxiety and hyper vigilance is not from experience, but rather the messaging?

[bluebell]

13 minutes ago, smac97 said:

 

As for "ugliness," I don't know how else to characterize acknowledged prejudice.  It's an ugly thing.  

 

-Smac

Prejudice is an opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.  I don't know of any women who view all men as a potential threat who do so without valid reasons and actual harmful experiences (multiple) at the hands of men (multiple).