Calm Posted March 30, 2018 Posted March 30, 2018 (edited) 11 hours ago, SamuelTheLamanite said: Pogi included " Any number of harmful coping behaviors (porn, drugs, alcohol, tv, video games, extra marital affairs, perfectionism or its opposite, hyper religiosity or it's opposite, over eating, under eating, obsessive behaviors, control freak, internet forum compulsion abusive behavior," I retract. Under eating and perfectionism are harmful behaviors. But tv, video games, hyper religiosity, and internet forums don't destroy families. https://www.professorshouse.com/my-spouse-watches-too-much-tv/ "As far back as 1990, a time in life when television viewing was less accessible than it is today The American Psychological Association dubbed television addiction as an addiction similar to pathological gambling. In 1990, a symposium at the convention of the American Psychological Association developed the definition of TV addiction as “heavy television watching that is subjectively experienced as being to some extent involuntary, displacing more productive activities, and difficult to stop or curtail.”" https://www.nytimes.com/1990/10/16/science/how-viewers-grow-addicted-to-television.html "Recent studies have found that 2 to 12 percent of viewers see themselves as addicted to television: they feel unhappy watching as much as they do, yet seem powerless to stop themselves... The third of the men and women in the smaller study who watched television the most were markedly different from the rest of those studied. As a group, the compulsive watchers were more irritable, tense and sad than the others, and felt they had little control over their lives." ----- Something that might appeal to you: https://marriagetoday.com/marriagehelp/unplug-your-marriage/ --- https://www.steadyhealth.com/topics/divorce-because-of-husbands-computer-games-addiction "Hi, I am 34 years old female and I am divorcing. I know it may sounds weird that I look for help on such place bit I really didn't know what to do. Reason for my divorce is very specific. My husband is addicted on computer's games and he may spend whole day in front of the monitor. We don't even talk normally because of his occupancy with these games. If someone had similar problem please share your experience with me?" https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2011-05-31-are-video-games-to-blame-for-increase-in-divorce-rates "Jessica Ellis, quoted in the Daily Mail report, is a recent client of the firm and had been in a relationship with her husband for four-and-a-half years. After two-and-a-half years of marriage, and shortly after relocation to the United Kingdom, the marriage broke down. In 2009 they divorced. In the Daily Mail report, Blizzard MMO World of Warcraft and Call of Duty are blamed." https://www.cnbc.com/2014/07/08/social-networking-linked-to-divorce-marital-unhappiness.html "The study, published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior by researchers from Pontificia Universidad Católica de Chile and Boston University, compared state-by-state divorce rates to per-capita Facebook accounts. In a separate analysis, they also used data from a 2011-2012 survey that asked individuals about marriage quality and social media use. Their study found a link between social media use and decreased marriage quality in every model they analyzed." ----- Anything that interferes with the family relationship can destroy a family. What a person is vulnerable to will depend more on the person that the object they act out with. Edited March 30, 2018 by Calm 1
Festus Posted March 30, 2018 Posted March 30, 2018 Decided to sign on. Have seen this discussion on other forums and something doesn't smell right. Is the War on Porn really about saving families and the sinner? Jesus was also bothered when presented with the adulteress by the scribes and Pharisees. He questioned their true motivation, and asked those without sin to cast the first stone. He simply told the adulteress to sin no more. Not the big deal we make of porn. He was more bothered by the hypocrites, as am I. Do we really care about families? Among my relatives, I've seen two divorces initiated by wives who were dissatisfied with the money their husband made. One of those built a nice house for his wife, but it still didn't match the lifestyle in which she was raised. As far as I can find out, there was no discipline or shame for those women. Turns out that lust for money by women is a leading cause of divorce, yet we don't care. In addition, women can lust after men on their favorite TV shows or movies, but because those men have clothes on, we don't care. A cousin of mine quit church years ago, and his wife left him with their 5 kids. I've seen several other such stories on other forums. Do we really care about loyalty to spouse? What about women who gossip about their husband, sharing intimate details. I could write pages about the gossip I've heard over the years. Men really don't want to know what their wives really think of them. Very common when there are problems in marriages for wife to run to her family, or friends, or bishop, or lawyer or whoever, and not include her husband. Read this story and tell me where lies the greater evil as she gossips to get "support". https://www.mormonwomen.com/interview/when-pornography-hits-home/ The night he told me about his addiction, I called my mom. We ended up telling his family, and eventually, we knew we’d have to tell close family and friends. However, I prayed hard about who I was going to tell because I needed people who could support us, not judge us and who could handle the burden of knowing. Do we really care about the well-being of men? Why are most members okay with sending young men to stupid wars to be maimed, debilitated or killed? We worry about porn stars being used, but what about young men being sucked into the military and then forced to die? We worry about porn stars, but are we worried about the millions of men who die on the job in deplorable conditions? Why not? Why do we shame men into such things and tell them to "man up"? So this whole war on porn is actually a means to control men, by picking a weakness largely of men, and ignore sins of women. Jesus would hate the hypocrisy. Women use sex for control. They exchange it for money or whatever. If men have other outlets for their sexuality, women lose power. So they need monopoly control, and need to shame men for their God-given urges. And they can withhold sex without shame. I know a story of an active sister who had withheld sex for 17 years, without discipline. Maybe that guy should spread the word around the ward about his wife's problem. Supposedly porn hurts intimacy. Yet we don't seem to care if wife watches countless hours of TV or can't get off her cell phone to be intimate. I work with non-members who view porn. Haven't heard of it causing any big problem with marriages, mostly because they don't see it as a big deal. Some look at it with their wives occasionally. They don't seem to look at it as much as church members for whom it is forbidden fruit. When you tell members how bad it is and how it will destroy families, and how big a betrayal it is, then you cause a self-fulfilling prophecy. Watch the news. Men are the source of all evil. We are sexual abusers, sexual harassers, rapists, violent, patriarchal, oppressive, obscene, dirty, creepy, lazy, selfish, etc, etc. As men are told more and more how bad they are by feminist churches and media and universities, many are checking out and going MGTOW. After all, why would any woman want such problems? Yes, porn can be a problem. But so are alot of other things we ignore, many of which are worse. A guy can look at porn once a month, and be considered a bigger problem than a wife blowing up a family for frivolous reasons. I agree with Jesus, it doesn't smell right and there is plenty of hypocrisy.
Calm Posted March 30, 2018 Posted March 30, 2018 (edited) Quote I agree with Jesus, it doesn't smell right and there is plenty of hypocrisy. Hmm....Jesus was condemning the men for being hypocrites as they were willing to attack the woman and yet here you are, blasting away only at women. Maybe you might consider difficulties and hypocrisy exists in both men and women. Edited March 30, 2018 by Calm 2
SamuelTheLamanite Posted March 30, 2018 Posted March 30, 2018 (edited) 12 hours ago, Festus said: We worry about porn stars, but are we worried about the millions of men who die on the job in deplorable conditions? Why not? Why do we shame men into such things and tell them to "man up"? So this whole war on porn is actually a means to control men, by picking a weakness largely of men, and ignore sins of women. Jesus would hate the hypocrisy. Women use sex for control. They exchange it for money or whatever. If men have other outlets for their sexuality, women lose power. So they need monopoly control, and need to shame men for their God-given urges. And they can withhold sex without shame. I know a story of an active sister who had withheld sex for 17 years, without discipline. Maybe that guy should spread the word around the ward about his wife's problem. Supposedly porn hurts intimacy. Yet we don't seem to care if wife watches countless hours of TV or can't get off her cell phone to be intimate. I work with non-members who view porn. Haven't heard of it causing any big problem with marriages, mostly because they don't see it as a big deal. Some look at it with their wives occasionally. They don't seem to look at it as much as church members for whom it is forbidden fruit. When you tell members how bad it is and how it will destroy families, and how big a betrayal it is, then you cause a self-fulfilling prophecy. Watch the news. Men are the source of all evil. We are sexual abusers, sexual harassers, rapists, violent, patriarchal, oppressive, obscene, dirty, creepy, lazy, selfish, etc, etc. As men are told more and more how bad they are by feminist churches and media and universities, many are checking out and going MGTOW. After all, why would any woman want such problems? Yes, porn can be a problem. But so are alot of other things we ignore, many of which are worse. A guy can look at porn once a month, and be considered a bigger problem than a wife blowing up a family for frivolous reasons. I am confused. 12 hours ago, Calm said: Anything that interferes with the family relationship can destroy a family. What a person is vulnerable to will depend more on the person that the object they act out with. But if that is the case why do our prophets constantly remind us of the destructive power of pornography? Wouldn't pornography be much worse than everything else? On 3/27/2018 at 2:30 AM, pogi said: Just to be clear, I think porn addiction should be included in the DSM-5, Pogi you are an addiction survivor. Please respond to everything that Festus said. On 3/26/2018 at 3:29 AM, kllindley said: Again, I believe pornography is bad. One would do well to avoid it. Yes tell that to our the new member Festus. On 3/26/2018 at 5:29 AM, Bernard Gui said: The jury is still out on whether or not pornography is addictive in the same sense as substance addiction. Brother Bernard Gui, I can tell you are a very wise man. Please share your knowledge and tell Festus that pornography is very destructive. Edited March 30, 2018 by SamuelTheLamanite
kllindley Posted March 30, 2018 Posted March 30, 2018 1 hour ago, SamuelTheLamanite said: I am confused. Yes tell that to our the new member Festus. He said it himself. He isn't defending pornography. He's talking about the cultural and social dynamics that make it such a trap for men in today's society. You are misreading and overreacting here.
The Nehor Posted March 30, 2018 Posted March 30, 2018 13 hours ago, Festus said: Decided to sign on. Have seen this discussion on other forums and something doesn't smell right. Is the War on Porn really about saving families and the sinner? Jesus was also bothered when presented with the adulteress by the scribes and Pharisees. He questioned their true motivation, and asked those without sin to cast the first stone. He simply told the adulteress to sin no more. Not the big deal we make of porn. He was more bothered by the hypocrites, as am I. Do we really care about families? Among my relatives, I've seen two divorces initiated by wives who were dissatisfied with the money their husband made. One of those built a nice house for his wife, but it still didn't match the lifestyle in which she was raised. As far as I can find out, there was no discipline or shame for those women. Turns out that lust for money by women is a leading cause of divorce, yet we don't care. In addition, women can lust after men on their favorite TV shows or movies, but because those men have clothes on, we don't care. A cousin of mine quit church years ago, and his wife left him with their 5 kids. I've seen several other such stories on other forums. Do we really care about loyalty to spouse? What about women who gossip about their husband, sharing intimate details. I could write pages about the gossip I've heard over the years. Men really don't want to know what their wives really think of them. Very common when there are problems in marriages for wife to run to her family, or friends, or bishop, or lawyer or whoever, and not include her husband. Read this story and tell me where lies the greater evil as she gossips to get "support". https://www.mormonwomen.com/interview/when-pornography-hits-home/ Do we really care about the well-being of men? Why are most members okay with sending young men to stupid wars to be maimed, debilitated or killed? We worry about porn stars being used, but what about young men being sucked into the military and then forced to die? We worry about porn stars, but are we worried about the millions of men who die on the job in deplorable conditions? Why not? Why do we shame men into such things and tell them to "man up"? So this whole war on porn is actually a means to control men, by picking a weakness largely of men, and ignore sins of women. Jesus would hate the hypocrisy. Women use sex for control. They exchange it for money or whatever. If men have other outlets for their sexuality, women lose power. So they need monopoly control, and need to shame men for their God-given urges. And they can withhold sex without shame. I know a story of an active sister who had withheld sex for 17 years, without discipline. Maybe that guy should spread the word around the ward about his wife's problem. Supposedly porn hurts intimacy. Yet we don't seem to care if wife watches countless hours of TV or can't get off her cell phone to be intimate. I work with non-members who view porn. Haven't heard of it causing any big problem with marriages, mostly because they don't see it as a big deal. Some look at it with their wives occasionally. They don't seem to look at it as much as church members for whom it is forbidden fruit. When you tell members how bad it is and how it will destroy families, and how big a betrayal it is, then you cause a self-fulfilling prophecy. Watch the news. Men are the source of all evil. We are sexual abusers, sexual harassers, rapists, violent, patriarchal, oppressive, obscene, dirty, creepy, lazy, selfish, etc, etc. As men are told more and more how bad they are by feminist churches and media and universities, many are checking out and going MGTOW. After all, why would any woman want such problems? Yes, porn can be a problem. But so are alot of other things we ignore, many of which are worse. A guy can look at porn once a month, and be considered a bigger problem than a wife blowing up a family for frivolous reasons. I agree with Jesus, it doesn't smell right and there is plenty of hypocrisy. I think you got lost friend. The MRA discussions are over here: https://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/
Bernard Gui Posted March 30, 2018 Posted March 30, 2018 (edited) 2 hours ago, SamuelTheLamanite said: Brother Bernard Gui, I can tell you are a very wise man. Please share your knowledge and tell Festus that pornography is very destructive. Well, you are too kind. After my last camera purchase, Sister Gui would disagree with you. Festus appears to have some issues. Telling him about pornography will probably not change his mind. The reality is that more and more people (not just Mormons) are recognizing the devastation porn is causing and intend to do something about it. Those who defend it are captaining a sinking ship. For example, this is what is happening right now in England. There is a strong movement to control internet porn. It has its detractors, of course, but the important thing is that the problem is being identified and addressed. More will follow. http://www.wired.co.uk/article/porn-block-ban-in-the-uk-age-verifcation-law https://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/online-porn-laws-uk-changing-14191021 Quote New UK laws will soon be coming in to ensure under-18s don't access online pornography this April. Digital Minister (and West Suffolk MP) Matt Hancock has signed the order to launch the Digital Economy Act, which is set to be introduced in April. This will introduce a new "age check" built in to websites or other online platforms that provide pornography on "a commercial basis" to people in the UK. If businesses refuse to comply, they will be fined up to £250,000. If you want to watch porn, you will be required to enter credit card details upon loading the homepage of a website, confirming proof of your age. You will not be charged upon entering your details..... Although a controversial proposal, it has already been welcomed by Mindgeek, which operates several of the world's most popular porn sites. The aim is to prevent children accessing pornographic material online. Edited March 30, 2018 by Bernard Gui 1
Calm Posted March 30, 2018 Posted March 30, 2018 (edited) Sam, It is your undocumented claims that other addictions can't destroy families I am challenging. Black and white thinking, turning porn into the ultimate bogeyman which is so powerful we should ignore other behaviours' potential to do damage, extreme damage at times doesn't help identify the core issues that need to be addressed to protect families and individuals and allow healing. Bernard and others here are good examples of how to express concern over porn's effects without going all ridiculous in one's claims. Edited March 30, 2018 by Calm 1
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