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poptart

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Are there any women who like kinda effeminate men?  Always assumed no.

No one at work ever asks if I have a gf or kids, and at the work happy hour they assume I like wine over beer.  Starting to wonder if you'e not a little on the crass side people assume you're gay.

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You may be asking the wrong question, as women like real men ---- not hulking ones, or brash ones, or testosterone in your face men or not I'm the man and you have to do what I say men.   I can't say that I really know what "kinda effeminate" even means in terms of seeking partnership.   But healthy thinking women want men who are self-confident but not arrogant;  who are hard workers, but not opposed to appreciating the arts or cooking or sewing;  who are curious but not indecisive; who are about self-improvement, but not criticism or judgment;  and in the best of worlds, men who love God and seek to be good and uplifting and kind and produce and contribute and who believe in goodness in themselves and others.

It is true that some women may look for someone who isn't all the things they deem objectionable in the men they don't like, or fear,, or find offensive.   But I'm hard pressed to see that as a quality decision on the ephemeral "kinda effeminate", which in my experience has encompassed not a few really quality traits that aren't the least bit unexpected in men of God generally.

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3 hours ago, rpn said:

You may be asking the wrong question, as women like real men ---- not hulking ones, or brash ones, or testosterone in your face men or not I'm the man and you have to do what I say men.   I can't say that I really know what "kinda effeminate" even means in terms of seeking partnership.   But healthy thinking women want men who are self-confident but not arrogant;  who are hard workers, but not opposed to appreciating the arts or cooking or sewing;  who are curious but not indecisive; who are about self-improvement, but not criticism or judgment;  and in the best of worlds, men who love God and seek to be good and uplifting and kind and produce and contribute and who believe in goodness in themselves and others.

It is true that some women may look for someone who isn't all the things they deem objectionable in the men they don't like, or fear,, or find offensive.   But I'm hard pressed to see that as a quality decision on the ephemeral "kinda effeminate", which in my experience has encompassed not a few really quality traits that aren't the least bit unexpected in men of God generally.

Why is it that some women prefer to have male friends who are gay?

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Well, there is a difference for me between "liking someone" i.e. some kind of emotional or physical attraction; and "choosing someone to be my life partner".  Attraction and loving someone is easy for me because I can basically fall in love with anyone.  I wouldn't even know how to stop myself from doing that.

The things I value are respect and integrity and trustworthiness etc.  I don't allow toxic people near me OR if I feel I can bless them and have enough of my own strength to do so, I might; but I would be guarding myself.  So if a person has integrity, I'm up for knowing them as far as it could go as what is meant to be between us.  Obviously if we were going to life partners, there are a lot of details to that, that would have to match.  (I'm hard to match!)

Having said all that, I absolutely find physical appeal in a softer man--elven or such.  Long hair.  Eye liner. Talkative. I don't know if I would call it effeminate because I hate labels like that.  Men are men, however that expresses.  Women are women, however that expresses.  Or whatever people identify as, none of my business unless they tell me so I know and can communicate as they wish to be communicated with.

I don't know if you've ever seen the show ShadowHunters tv and there is a character Magnus Bane.  Unbelievably appealing to me.  Of course, he's rather powerful as well, being a sorcerer and all.  So who knows?  But . . . would he take out the garbage?

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10 hours ago, poptart said:

Are there any women who like kinda effeminate men?  Always assumed no.

No one at work ever asks if I have a gf or kids, and at the work happy hour they assume I like wine over beer.  Starting to wonder if you'e not a little on the crass side people assume you're gay.

There are people who like all kinds of people for all kinds of reasons. Being crass is unlikely to help.

Then again I am in my 30s and, despite two failed engagements, have never found anyone. So I may be the wrong person to say anything. 

Oh, and are you cute? ;) 

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1 hour ago, The Nehor said:

There are people who like all kinds of people for all kinds of reasons. Being crass is unlikely to help.

Then again I am in my 30s and, despite two failed engagements, have never found anyone. So I may be the wrong person to say anything. 

Oh, and are you cute? ;) 

Teehee maybe, I look adorable in a hello kitty apron.

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