Serious Question

[kimpearson]

Hi, just for reference, I am the parent of a gay 14 year old son and have spent the last two years studying everything I could find about homosexuality, bi-sexuality, transgender and queer.  Here are the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints current official teaching with obviously my slant.

 

First, the Church has no position on what causes anyone to be gay, straight, transgender or queer.  The Church doesn't believe nor teach that any these are a mistake or sickness or caused by the environment we grew up in.  Unfortunately many member of the church believe all or some of those explanations.  I personally believe people are just born that way but have no idea how exactly that fits in God's plan or whether they were that way before birth or after death and the next life.  I leave that up to God until He tells us.

 

Second, the Church does not believe someone can change or be changed from being LGBTQ to being heterosexual.  There are those who can develop a heterosexual relationship but it doesn't make the same sex attraction go away.  Getting married to the opposite sex is not a way to change someone.  Prayer, going on a mission or getting priesthood blessing will not change someone.  Again, unfortunately many member believe that one can change especially if they are just faithful enough.

 

Third, there is no sin in being LGBTQ.  The only sin is having sexual relations outside of marriage between a man and a woman.  A man having a boyfriend is not a sin.  A girl having a girlfriend in not a sin.  Loving someone else is never a sin.  Again the only prohibition is the sexual relations.  I personally know several members of the church that are in committed relationships where there is no sex and they are fully active members enjoying all the blessing of membership such as callings and church attendance.  Their activity has been fully approved by the highest leaders in the church.  Unfortunately many members believe just being LGBTQ is a sin.

 

Fourth,  LGBTQ members and investigators are to be loved and cherished as any of God's children.  Parents who reject their LGBTQ children and withdraw their love are the ones committing the sin.  Unfortunately, many members of the Church either reject those who are LGBTQ or they tolerate them rather than loving and cherishing them.  Fortunately, I have personally seen this changing.  I was guilty of many of these attitudes until my son came out to us.  Dear friends and family have changed their attitudes as we have shared our family's story.

 

Finally, the Church teaches and strongly testifies that each and every one of us is a child of God.  By child I mean literally a spirit child of Heavenly Father.  That core belief is the most important to you in your situation.  You are important and you are worthy of love just as each of us is.  Most believing members of the Church, when push comes to shove, will follow that core belief and get to the right place.  Some will have to be dragged harder than others.  You will find all types in the Church, from jerks to saints and evil to the most pure of heart.  I would encourage you to give us a try.

[poptart]

The whole idea of having a church that is literally Christ's, or God's church, is to learn from God about how to behave in a way that will make us truly happy. Just because you or I have formed an opinion of what we think is right or wrong, doesn't mean we know all that God know's about that issue. The first step is to find out if this actually is God's church and that the people claiming to be his spokesmen are what they claim to be. Then we can follow their counsel in seeking guidance from God directly and through the scriptures to learn where we may be mistaken and discover better ways of living to bring us true joy and happiness. Don't worry too much about specific issues, because if God really does teach his children here on earth through living prophets, we can be sure they will not agree with every idea we have come up with. Otherwise, everyone would be in agreement and we would not need guidance from church or revelation from God.

Um ok that didn't make much sense.  Thanks?

 

People of the church will care.

really?

 

They might care too much in some cases.

How so?

 

Hi, just for reference, I am the parent of a gay 14 year old son and have spent the last two years studying everything I could find about homosexuality, bi-sexuality, transgender and queer.  Here are the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints current official teaching with obviously my slant.

 

First, the Church has no position on what causes anyone to be gay, straight, transgender or queer.  The Church doesn't believe nor teach that any these are a mistake or sickness or caused by the environment we grew up in.  Unfortunately many member of the church believe all or some of those explanations.  I personally believe people are just born that way but have no idea how exactly that fits in God's plan or whether they were that way before birth or after death and the next life.  I leave that up to God until He tells us.

 

Second, the Church does not believe someone can change or be changed from being LGBTQ to being heterosexual.  There are those who can develop a heterosexual relationship but it doesn't make the same sex attraction go away.  Getting married to the opposite sex is not a way to change someone.  Prayer, going on a mission or getting priesthood blessing will not change someone.  Again, unfortunately many member believe that one can change especially if they are just faithful enough.

 

Third, there is no sin in being LGBTQ.  The only sin is having sexual relations outside of marriage between a man and a woman.  A man having a boyfriend is not a sin.  A girl having a girlfriend in not a sin.  Loving someone else is never a sin.  Again the only prohibition is the sexual relations.  I personally know several members of the church that are in committed relationships where there is no sex and they are fully active members enjoying all the blessing of membership such as callings and church attendance.  Their activity has been fully approved by the highest leaders in the church.  Unfortunately many members believe just being LGBTQ is a sin.

 

Fourth,  LGBTQ members and investigators are to be loved and cherished as any of God's children.  Parents who reject their LGBTQ children and withdraw their love are the ones committing the sin.  Unfortunately, many members of the Church either reject those who are LGBTQ or they tolerate them rather than loving and cherishing them.  Fortunately, I have personally seen this changing.  I was guilty of many of these attitudes until my son came out to us.  Dear friends and family have changed their attitudes as we have shared our family's story.

 

Finally, the Church teaches and strongly testifies that each and every one of us is a child of God.  By child I mean literally a spirit child of Heavenly Father.  That core belief is the most important to you in your situation.  You are important and you are worthy of love just as each of us is.  Most believing members of the Church, when push comes to shove, will follow that core belief and get to the right place.  Some will have to be dragged harder than others.  You will find all types in the Church, from jerks to saints and evil to the most pure of heart.  I would encourage you to give us a try.

Like I said I just don't want to be hated and harassed.  I don't want to change and forcing me into a hetrosexual relationship would be a disaster.  Also I might fight the girl over who gets to wear the cute kitchen apron.

[poptart]

Hi, just for reference, I am the parent of a gay 14 year old son and have spent the last two years studying everything I could find about homosexuality, bi-sexuality, transgender and queer.  Here are the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints current official teaching with obviously my slant.

 

First, the Church has no position on what causes anyone to be gay, straight, transgender or queer.  The Church doesn't believe nor teach that any these are a mistake or sickness or caused by the environment we grew up in.  Unfortunately many member of the church believe all or some of those explanations.  I personally believe people are just born that way but have no idea how exactly that fits in God's plan or whether they were that way before birth or after death and the next life.  I leave that up to God until He tells us.

 

Second, the Church does not believe someone can change or be changed from being LGBTQ to being heterosexual.  There are those who can develop a heterosexual relationship but it doesn't make the same sex attraction go away.  Getting married to the opposite sex is not a way to change someone.  Prayer, going on a mission or getting priesthood blessing will not change someone.  Again, unfortunately many member believe that one can change especially if they are just faithful enough.

 

Third, there is no sin in being LGBTQ.  The only sin is having sexual relations outside of marriage between a man and a woman.  A man having a boyfriend is not a sin.  A girl having a girlfriend in not a sin.  Loving someone else is never a sin.  Again the only prohibition is the sexual relations.  I personally know several members of the church that are in committed relationships where there is no sex and they are fully active members enjoying all the blessing of membership such as callings and church attendance.  Their activity has been fully approved by the highest leaders in the church.  Unfortunately many members believe just being LGBTQ is a sin.

 

Fourth,  LGBTQ members and investigators are to be loved and cherished as any of God's children.  Parents who reject their LGBTQ children and withdraw their love are the ones committing the sin.  Unfortunately, many members of the Church either reject those who are LGBTQ or they tolerate them rather than loving and cherishing them.  Fortunately, I have personally seen this changing.  I was guilty of many of these attitudes until my son came out to us.  Dear friends and family have changed their attitudes as we have shared our family's story.

 

Finally, the Church teaches and strongly testifies that each and every one of us is a child of God.  By child I mean literally a spirit child of Heavenly Father.  That core belief is the most important to you in your situation.  You are important and you are worthy of love just as each of us is.  Most believing members of the Church, when push comes to shove, will follow that core belief and get to the right place.  Some will have to be dragged harder than others.  You will find all types in the Church, from jerks to saints and evil to the most pure of heart.  I would encourage you to give us a try.

Also way to go being an accepting parent.  Wish I had a parent like that, instead of the hell I had to go through and end up messed up mentally.  People suck and they wonder why people lose it and just kill eachother.  Sure, blame religion, blame whatever you want but no one is willing to take a good long look in the mirror and realize they're little better than their savage ancestors. 

You'll probably stay on good terms with your son into your golden years, can't say the same for most parents.  People blame kids for everything, but no one ever considers what kind of parent they were.  No one asks to be born, and so many are treated terribly. 

[Calm]

"How so?"

 

Some complain that other members are overly concerned about their lives, giving them advice, etc.

 

"Loving someone else is never a sin.  Again the only prohibition is the sexual relations.  I personally know several members of the church that are in committed relationships where there is no sex and they are fully active members enjoying all the blessing of membership such as callings and church attendance.  Their activity has been fully approved by the highest leaders in the church.  Unfortunately many members believe just being LGBTQ is a sin."

 

Would you suggest if a man or woman loved another who was not their spouse and continued to do things that nurtured that feeling of love, that would be okay as long as they did not engage in sexual relations?  They could go out on dates and things, etc.?

 

I am trying to understand where you draw the line.  I think the leadership may draw it differently then you are suggesting here.  They may not, but from what I've read I am currently assuming they are; happy to change my mind if I am wrong.  I would say that loving someone as a fellow child of God is never a sin, but loving someone in the same way as one loves a spouse save for not engaging in sexual relations may be considered a sin.

 

The only restriction to church attendance I know is when people attempt to teach apostate teachings there, all others are welcomed.  And I know of nonmembers who have held callings, so I think knowing what callings such couples are holding matters.

Edited October 31, 2014 by calmoriah

[Daniel2]

Hi, just for reference, I am the parent of a gay 14 year old son and have spent the last two years studying everything I could find about homosexuality, bi-sexuality, transgender and queer. Here are the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints current official teaching with obviously my slant.

First, the Church has no position on what causes anyone to be gay, straight, transgender or queer. The Church doesn't believe nor teach that any these are a mistake or sickness or caused by the environment we grew up in. Unfortunately many member of the church believe all or some of those explanations. I personally believe people are just born that way but have no idea how exactly that fits in God's plan or whether they were that way before birth or after death and the next life. I leave that up to God until He tells us.

Second, the Church does not believe someone can change or be changed from being LGBTQ to being heterosexual. There are those who can develop a heterosexual relationship but it doesn't make the same sex attraction go away. Getting married to the opposite sex is not a way to change someone. Prayer, going on a mission or getting priesthood blessing will not change someone. Again, unfortunately many member believe that one can change especially if they are just faithful enough.

Third, there is no sin in being LGBTQ. The only sin is having sexual relations outside of marriage between a man and a woman. A man having a boyfriend is not a sin. A girl having a girlfriend in not a sin. Loving someone else is never a sin. Again the only prohibition is the sexual relations. I personally know several members of the church that are in committed relationships where there is no sex and they are fully active members enjoying all the blessing of membership such as callings and church attendance. Their activity has been fully approved by the highest leaders in the church. Unfortunately many members believe just being LGBTQ is a sin.

Fourth, LGBTQ members and investigators are to be loved and cherished as any of God's children. Parents who reject their LGBTQ children and withdraw their love are the ones committing the sin. Unfortunately, many members of the Church either reject those who are LGBTQ or they tolerate them rather than loving and cherishing them. Fortunately, I have personally seen this changing. I was guilty of many of these attitudes until my son came out to us. Dear friends and family have changed their attitudes as we have shared our family's story.

Finally, the Church teaches and strongly testifies that each and every one of us is a child of God. By child I mean literally a spirit child of Heavenly Father. That core belief is the most important to you in your situation. You are important and you are worthy of love just as each of us is. Most believing members of the Church, when push comes to shove, will follow that core belief and get to the right place. Some will have to be dragged harder than others. You will find all types in the Church, from jerks to saints and evil to the most pure of heart. I would encourage you to give us a try.

this is a wonderful post,. Is incredible to have a mother with an open mind, spiritual soul, and a loving heart.

thank you for sharing.

[Daniel2]

Hi, just for reference, I am the parent of a gay 14 year old son and have spent the last two years studying everything I could find about homosexuality, bi-sexuality, transgender and queer. Here are the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints current official teaching with obviously my slant.

First, the Church has no position on what causes anyone to be gay, straight, transgender or queer. The Church doesn't believe nor teach that any these are a mistake or sickness or caused by the environment we grew up in. Unfortunately many member of the church believe all or some of those explanations. I personally believe people are just born that way but have no idea how exactly that fits in God's plan or whether they were that way before birth or after death and the next life. I leave that up to God until He tells us.

Second, the Church does not believe someone can change or be changed from being LGBTQ to being heterosexual. There are those who can develop a heterosexual relationship but it doesn't make the same sex attraction go away. Getting married to the opposite sex is not a way to change someone. Prayer, going on a mission or getting priesthood blessing will not change someone. Again, unfortunately many member believe that one can change especially if they are just faithful enough.

Third, there is no sin in being LGBTQ. The only sin is having sexual relations outside of marriage between a man and a woman. A man having a boyfriend is not a sin. A girl having a girlfriend in not a sin. Loving someone else is never a sin. Again the only prohibition is the sexual relations. I personally know several members of the church that are in committed relationships where there is no sex and they are fully active members enjoying all the blessing of membership such as callings and church attendance. Their activity has been fully approved by the highest leaders in the church. Unfortunately many members believe just being LGBTQ is a sin.

Fourth, LGBTQ members and investigators are to be loved and cherished as any of God's children. Parents who reject their LGBTQ children and withdraw their love are the ones committing the sin. Unfortunately, many members of the Church either reject those who are LGBTQ or they tolerate them rather than loving and cherishing them. Fortunately, I have personally seen this changing. I was guilty of many of these attitudes until my son came out to us. Dear friends and family have changed their attitudes as we have shared our family's story.

Finally, the Church teaches and strongly testifies that each and every one of us is a child of God. By child I mean literally a spirit child of Heavenly Father. That core belief is the most important to you in your situation. You are important and you are worthy of love just as each of us is. Most believing members of the Church, when push comes to shove, will follow that core belief and get to the right place. Some will have to be dragged harder than others. You will find all types in the Church, from jerks to saints and evil to the most pure of heart. I would encourage you to give us a try.

this is a wonderful post,. Is incredible to have a mother with an open mind, spiritual soul, and a loving heart.

thank you for sharing.

[Boanerges]

"Would you suggest if a man or woman loved another who was not their spouse and continued to do things that nurtured that feeling of love, that would be okay as long as they did not engage in sexual relations?  They could go out on dates and things, etc.?

 

Yes. I defy you to find anywhere a current prophet, seer, and revelator who in the past five years or so has indicated anything other than sexual relations outside marriage is sinful while having same sex attraction is not. There is no indication that anything other than sex outside marriage is sinful.

 

I am trying to understand where you draw the line.  I think the leadership may draw it differently then you are suggesting here.  I would say that loving someone as a fellow child of God is never a sin, but loving someone in the same way as one loves a spouse save for not engaging in sexual relations may be considered a sin.

 

See above

 

The only restriction to church attendance I know is when people attempt to teach apostate teachings there, all others are welcomed.  And I know of nonmembers who have held callings, so I think knowing what callings such couples are holding matters.

 

I agree with this assessment, no one who has broken the law of chastity is forbidden from coming to church, although participation is sometimes limited and some have been excommunicated because of continued and unrepentant breaking of the law - but they are still welcome at church. I happen to know an openly lesbian member (not in a relationship) that serves as a seminary teacher, and a gay man (also not in a relationship) who has served on the high council and currently serves a HPGL - he has, of course, held other callings as well. Both of these individuals live the law of chastity and both enjoy full benefits of church membership, including temple recommends as would be indicated by their callings.

[kimpearson]

Just to clear up one point.  I am a dad but my wife feels the same way.

[strappinglad]

If a single man and a single woman go on dates and such and abstain from sexual relations then all is well. If they move in with one another questions will arise. If a married man goes on dates and such with a woman who is not his spouse and does not have sexual relations with her and even has the approval of his spouse, I think the Church leaders would have some serious talks with that man. Two women or two men can live together under the same roof and not have sexual relations and be OK with the Church unless and until they declare that they are homosexual. Church leaders are well aware of the power of the ' natural man ' in such cases and pointed questions would be asked if there was a desire to go to the temple etc.

[Robert F. Smith]

.................................................................................

..................................... If you pretend to be straight in the Mormon church, things will be much better for you.  If however you have a boyfriend, the church will let you come to church but would probably not let you get baptized or participate in church.  You would not be able to hold any callings or allowed to give talks or prayers and wquld be asked not to take the sacrament.  There is some discussion if this would apply to a gay couple if they were celibate.  I think the jury is still out on that one.  

 

..........................................................................   

Is anyone actually ever asked not to take the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper?  I haven't seen it happen, but I just may be ignorant of goings on behind the scenes.

 

When people go to church, do they have to pretend anything at all, such as which sexual preference they might have?  I never think of sexual preference when I go to church.  Last thing on my mind.

[Silhouette]

Is anyone actually ever asked not to take the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper? I haven't seen it happen, but I just may be ignorant of goings on behind the scenes.

When people go to church, do they have to pretend anything at all, such as which sexual preference they might have? I never think of sexual preference when I go to church. Last thing on my mind.

Yes, a person can be asked to not take the Sacrament as a disciplinary action. Usually this request comes from the Bishop after meeting with the person/people involved. The request can also be made as part of a member's repentance process. I speak from personal experience.

[Mola Ram Suda Ram]

Is anyone actually ever asked not to take the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper?  I haven't seen it happen, but I just may be ignorant of goings on behind the scenes.

 

When people go to church, do they have to pretend anything at all, such as which sexual preference they might have?  I never think of sexual preference when I go to church.  Last thing on my mind.

My bro was, after he confessed to fornicating with his girl friend. Had a mission comp that was asked not to take it for a whole year for the same offense.

[KevinG]

Is anyone actually ever asked not to take the Sacrament of the Lord's Supper?  I haven't seen it happen, but I just may be ignorant of goings on behind the scenes.

 

When people go to church, do they have to pretend anything at all, such as which sexual preference they might have?  I never think of sexual preference when I go to church.  Last thing on my mind.

 

Good for you for not noticing other peoples business!  But I too have been asked to abstain from taking the Sacrament until worthy.  The same principle applies to more serious disciplinary actions.  If we are unworthy and partake of the symbols of renewing our covenants, we can bring condemnation upon ourselves.  It is better to repent and renew those covenants when better prepared to keep them.

[Ham Clam]

You should check out the blog Millennial Mormons.

http://www.millennialmormons.com/answers-questions-felt-awkward-ask-gay-mormons/

[poptart]

You should check out the blog Millennial Mormons.

http://www.millennialmormons.com/answers-questions-felt-awkward-ask-gay-mormons/

Wow this is nice.  Hope I'm treated well.  A lot of gay/bi people have very high rates of mental health and suicide partly because of the bigotry out there.  The South is just gutrenching. 

[rpn]

The reason that the church uses "same gender/sex attraction" is that it believes we are first and most importantly children of God, sent here specifically to learn to control the natural man and chose to follow the Savior so we can become what we need to become to return to live with Him/Them.  That some have ssa is not their primary identity.  

 

I suspect that you could find church members in most congregations (where in the south are you?) who struggle to work through the "acting on one's sexual desires outside of marriage with a person of the opposite sex is contrary to God's plan" and "whatever struggles any individual has in living God's rules  does NOT change their divine natures: everyone should be accepted with kindness".    Some may even be unaware that teh Church was instrumental in passing an anti discrimination in jobs and housing ordinance in SLC that has become a model in some 40 other Utah communities --- Mormons acting on the advice of their ecclesiastical leaders would not be among those refusing to hire or rent to people with ssa (they might refuse to rent to unmarried couples, though that too is unlawful in commercial renting in most places).    But yes there could be some awkwardness, simply because of the unfamiliarity with the whole issue and recent official statements.  Incivility or unkindness should be rare.

[LOSTONE]

I am a Christian and I don’t hate bisexuals or homosexuals as many of my fellow Christian friends don’t. We just believe in in scripture and it does remark about homosexuality is not to be done.

Could I have a friend who is bi or gay? Yes I can. I have plenty of friends who do things I am not okay with within my faith, but I don’t use that difference to turn my back on people. If they are good people, they are welcomes, I just can’t support certain behaviors or choices. I still can have someone who is bi or gay as a friend.

I am not sure what you are looking for in your post here, but I hope you have not been insulted.

[poptart]

The reason that the church uses "same gender/sex attraction" is that it believes we are first and most importantly children of God, sent here specifically to learn to control the natural man and chose to follow the Savior so we can become what we need to become to return to live with Him/Them.  That some have ssa is not their primary identity.  

 

I suspect that you could find church members in most congregations (where in the south are you?) who struggle to work through the "acting on one's sexual desires outside of marriage with a person of the opposite sex is contrary to God's plan" and "whatever struggles any individual has in living God's rules  does NOT change their divine natures: everyone should be accepted with kindness".    Some may even be unaware that teh Church was instrumental in passing an anti discrimination in jobs and housing ordinance in SLC that has become a model in some 40 other Utah communities --- Mormons acting on the advice of their ecclesiastical leaders would not be among those refusing to hire or rent to people with ssa (they might refuse to rent to unmarried couples, though that too is unlawful in commercial renting in most places).    But yes there could be some awkwardness, simply because of the unfamiliarity with the whole issue and recent official statements.  Incivility or unkindness should be rare.

Not in the south, was there for a while as a kid.  Left a while ago.  Man can't believe how bad the crime is in some places now. 

 

I am a Christian and I don’t hate bisexuals or homosexuals as many of my fellow Christian friends don’t. We just believe in in scripture and it does remark about homosexuality is not to be done.

Could I have a friend who is bi or gay? Yes I can. I have plenty of friends who do things I am not okay with within my faith, but I don’t use that difference to turn my back on people. If they are good people, they are welcomes, I just can’t support certain behaviors or choices. I still can have someone who is bi or gay as a friend.

I am not sure what you are looking for in your post here, but I hope you have not been insulted.

meh none taken

[LOSTONE]

meh none taken

 

What?

[poptart]

What?

Ops, ment to say no offense taken/I'm not insulted.