How Do So Many People Leave The Church Or Go Inactive?

[VideoGameJunkie]

I also feel sometimes people are always looking for any reason to give up their faith and when one topic comes along that could do it, they run with it. Leaving the church can be liberating to many. Meaning no more rules.

[HappyJackWagon]

"I also feel sometimes people are always looking for any reason to give up their faith and when one topic comes along that could do it, they run with it. Leaving the church can be liberating to many. Meaning no more rules."

I disagree. I think the vast majority are looking for any reason NOT to give up their faith but at some point can't hang on any more. Many cling to their faith or hope for years trying to rekindle belief. These are the committed, faithful, dilligent, thoughtful, members and leaders who have invested a great deal in the church. They would love nothing more than to be able to believe again but they can't choose to believe.

Some people are lazy and uncommitted. Those are the types that will wander off at the first sign of trouble. Yes, the church has trouble losing these people too, but the bigger problem is the committed, faithful, members that simply can't ignore the new truths they learn. Sadly, there is very little information from the church to refute the problematic issues. Apologists try to fill that void but often do as much harm as they do good.

[Tacenda]

"I also feel sometimes people are always looking for any reason to give up their faith and when one topic comes along that could do it, they run with it. Leaving the church can be liberating to many. Meaning no more rules."

I disagree. I think the vast majority are looking for any reason NOT to give up their faith but at some point can't hang on any more. Many cling to their faith or hope for years trying to rekindle belief. These are the committed, faithful, dilligent, thoughtful, members and leaders who have invested a great deal in the church. They would love nothing more than to be able to believe again but they can't choose to believe.

Some people are lazy and uncommitted. Those are the types that will wander off at the first sign of trouble. Yes, the church has trouble losing these people too, but the bigger problem is the committed, faithful, members that simply can't ignore the new truths they learn. Sadly, there is very little information from the church to refute the problematic issues. Apologists try to fill that void but often do as much harm as they do good.

I agree so much with your post here.

There are lots of LDS that hold on for so long. And the lazy ones, probably still believe but don't really want to live it.

[bcuzbcuz]

I also feel sometimes people are always looking for any reason to give up their faith and when one topic comes along that could do it, they run with it. Leaving the church can be liberating to many. Meaning no more rules.

I can´t speak for anyone else, only those in my immediate family. None of them left to be "liberated". The "no more rules" idea is equally off base. As one father said, who has teenage kids, life was much easier with church rules. While being a TBM, the rules about smoking or drinking were clear and precise. He experienced it far more difficult to redefine the same things to rebellious, non-believing teenagers. Simply saying "don´t do it because it´s bad for your health" or "don´t do it because I don´t like it" falls far short of being able to say, "don´t do it because you´ve been taught that God does not approve".

In a family that follows the word of wisdom, conversations about smoking or drinking can be repeated often, kept short, to the point and undramatic. In a family without such rules, the same subjects become the exact opposite, long, preachy, unwelcome and very dramatic.

While in the church, many questions are already resolved. They can be talked about but essentially the question already has an answer. When no longer in the church, every question becomes a minefield, with no ready, resolved answers. Answers move from the clarity of light to unending dimensions of darkness and a parent is left to fumble, limited by their own facilities.

No, those who leave the church to feel free of rules have no idea what they´re getting themselves into.

[HappyJackWagon]

" 

Yep, I agree. For some reason that one, not JS translating the plates without even having them present and while looking at a stone in a hat and not JS's polyandry and polygamy, seems to have had the most negative impact.

 

I think it makes sense that the Blacks and the Priesthood essay is troubling because at the heart of it the church acknowledges that prophets and apostles, even the entire church, can be catastrophically wrong about doctrine. The "theories" about why blacks were denied the priesthood were absolutely taught as doctrine for many generations and now we learn that the teaching was a false doctrine.

This naturally causes people to ask the question..."what else is false?" They then allow themselves to seek answers, study, and decide for themselves so they are never again part of the problem in accepting false doctrine. The essay acknowledged the chink in the church's armor. Despite prophets and apostles and revelation, our church can be just as wrong as other churches. The essay was honest, yet problematic for the institutional church.

It opened many eyes.

[ERayR]

The church continues to TRY to control the info by dissuading people from searching the internet and using only approved sources to answer their "legitimate" questions. The correlated info taught in church used to be the main source of info for church members. That's not the case today, at least for those who are curious and seeking to grow in knowledge and understanding.

 

It is more like they are trying to dissuade people from going to a Toyota dealer to get information on Cadillacs.

[cursor]

I agree so much with your post here.

There are lots of LDS that hold on for so long. And the lazy ones, probably still believe but don't really want to live it.

 

Deleted

Edited September 17, 2014 by cursor

[cursor]

People who join the church do so for so many varied reasons. I met with and baptized a fair number of them. That hardly means that they were responsibly informed (for the long haul), or that they had witnessed the Spirit. Just look at the post-rejection rate amongst converts.

 

Those who choose to leave the church, or to distance themselves from it, have unresolved issues (personal concerns) about which they feel strongly. I recall when just prior to my wife divorcing me in 1985 (my daughter was just five, and my son was an infant), the bishop and his first first counselor came and visited with me (at the behest of my former wife) for no less than two hours. They listened, and I expressed. We shook hands when they left (offering very congenial smiles). I never heard back from them regarding any help, concerns, nor anything else ... ever. Six months later we were divorced. So much for being "counselors."

 

I've moved on. Life is SO complex. The seriously varied combination of life experiences is dramatic/traumatic. Understanding it all can seem to be a nightmare.

 

Suggesting that those that don't stick with it are "those who are lazy" and fail to see the light is just a bit short-sighted, I think.

Edited September 17, 2014 by cursor

[Tacenda]

People who join the church do so for so many varied reasons. I met with and baptized a fair number of them. That hardly means that they were responsibly informed (for the long haul), or that they had witnessed the Spirit. Just look at the post-rejection rate amongst converts.

Those who choose to leave the church, or to distance themselves from it, have unresolved issues (personal concerns) about which they feel strongly. I recall when just prior to my wife divorcing me in 1985 (my daughter was just five, and my son was an infant), the bishop and his first first counselor came and visited with me (at the behest of my former wife) for no less than two hours. They listened, and I expressed. We shook hands when they left (offering very congenial smiles). I never heard back from them regarding any help, concerns, nor anything else ... ever. Six months later we were divorced. So much for being "counselors."

I've moved on. Life is SO complex. The seriously varied combination of life experiences is dramatic/traumatic. Understanding it all can seem to be a nightmare.

Suggesting that those that don't stick with it are "those who are lazy" and fail to see the light is just a bit short-sighted, I think.

So much so, to your last sentence. I shouldn't lump like that. Or assume inactive believers are lazy. I guess I'm just tired of the critics of those that doubt. And I lashed out. Because even with my doubt in the last several years I've remained active and held callings. But I think church isn't healthy or doable for everyone, so my terrible bad at how I worded my previous post.

[cursor]

I didn't at all mean to cause bad feelings, Tacenda. I only meant to say that those who are preceived to be marginal or lost in (whomever's eyes) ... deserve some responsible level of understanding and support. There are lots of causes for disconnection with the Church. Very many of which are [at least. personably] justifiable. Again, my apologies to what you perceived to be any form of attack. I'm sorry for that. Please, be my friend.

Edited September 18, 2014 by cursor

[cursor]

I just got off the phone with my very dear daughter, who chooses not to be active in the LDS faith. What a great conversation (2 hrs+). What a great daughter. What a great mother to my 20 year old grandson (who is not associated at all with the LDS faith). These are the type of folk that I will defend to my deathbed. They are not totally unique (actually, they are), but there are very many like them. Open your ears. Open your eyes. Open your hearts. Open your souls. If you don't, then your soul is lost.

 

I expect/hope that my Dad will equally defend me as well.

Edited September 18, 2014 by cursor

[Scott Stevenson]

There aren't different Gods, just different perspectives and beliefs about God. The place to start, as indicated above, is by opening yourself up humbly to him in prayer and study and obedience and allow him to reveal himself more and more to you in time--primarily by making change in you towards Christ. We come to better know God by becoming more like him.

 

Now, even though I have answered your questions contrary to your expectation, I respect that you don't and may not yet believe in Mormonism as the only true church or otherwise (it is the only true Church for what it is ultimately designed). I would suggest that this is, in part, because you don't correctly get what the Church/gospel is really about. Your naive questions inadvertently betray the fact that you haven't much of a clue--in large part because you have mistakenly relied on your own woefully inadequate arm of flesh rather than rightly trusting in the source of far more superior knowledge and wisdom and authority. That is your choice.

 

Just know that you can chose otherwise to your mortal and eternal advantage.

 

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

This seems to be a common thought among believers like yourself Wade. That because I don't believe the claims of Mormonism I must not have been open enough to receive a witness of the truthfulness of the Gospel. Or that I just don't correctly understand what the Gospel is all about. 

 

You call my questions naive and then give two stories from the Book of Mormon as proof for the Gospel as if someone that doesn't believe Moroni is going to believe Alma. I understand both of those stories but they could as easily be applied to Les Miserables. Go ahead, read Les Miserables and if you feel incredibly moved while reading it that's the Holy Ghost telling you that Jean Valjean was a real person and you should follow his example. But if that's not good enough then just start living your life like him, repent, forgive others, become charitable and kind and you will see the seeds of faith grow inside of you too.

 

Maybe I'm wrong and the Gospel is this beautifully simple thing that I've chosen not to believe in. But just maybe I'm the one that figured out what the Gospel is all about and you are the one not open to the possibility that a desperate farm boy didn't always tell the truth about his experiences.

[Tacenda]

I didn't at all mean to cause bad feelings, Tacenda. I only meant to say that those who are preceived to be marginal or lost in (whomever's eyes) ... deserve some responsible level of understanding and support. There are lots of causes for disconnection with the Church. Very many of which are [at least. personably] justifiable. Again, my apologies to what you perceived to be any form of attack. I'm sorry for that. Please, be my friend.

Oh no apology needed, I was the one at fault for my off handed remark. I know people that are inactive believers that have very legit reasons for not attending church, etc. Btw, love that you posted your dad's memoirs! ! ETA: I reread my post...why do I use the word legit? There's no reason that it has to be legit to not go to church. Dang I wish I had a better way with words! Edited September 18, 2014 by Tacenda

[cursor]

Still, many leave. Why is that?

[VideoGameJunkie]

Maybe Satan got to them.

[Tacenda]

Still, many leave. Why is that?

I'll list a few...lifestyle, non belief, bad health-physical & mental, was offended, feeling it's too repetitive- the lessons, not completely converted - could go either way depending on your circumstance, feel unworthy because of sin, WoW breaker, shyness, feel church is a fashion show or clickish, not getting anything out of it, no calling to get you there, having very young children, get too emotional, physical pain when sitting too long or standing....

Some of these I've either experienced or have known others to have experienced.

[Scott Stevenson]

Still, many leave. Why is that?

Maybe the Church just isn't what it claims to be.

[JLHPROF]

Maybe the Church just isn't what it claims to be.

:nea: :nea:

[Scott Stevenson]

Maybe Satan got to them.

I think in an information age people have stopped being such magical thinkers and it's given them a different perspective. It's like seeing a magic trick being performed and figuring out how's it's done but the rest of the audience thinks it's real magic. 

[Yirgacheffe]

It is more like they are trying to dissuade people from going to a Toyota dealer to get information on Cadillacs.

I think this is a bad analogy.  If I'm looking into a Cadillac I will go to a Cadillac dealer to see what the vehicles offer, I will also go to dealers that sell comparable cars to see what they offer and how it compares to the Cadillac.  I will also look to owners of Cadillacs and there I want to see what both satisfied and dissatisfied Cadillac owners have to say about the product.  I really think the car analogy fails off the line.