Focus On Family

[Calm]

That's kind of sad. It should have been about God.

Just sayin'

Don't get me wrong, I'm all in favor of families. But that's not what church is supposed to be about.

I believe when most LDS say "family" speaking eternally, they mean "God's family" of which their family is a part. So it is about God.

[DH]

I have to say, I was glad to hear Dallin H. Oaks's talk about divorce a few years back, encouraging couples not to give up too easily on marriage. There may be times when divorce is necessary, but it seems that a lot of couples get really frightened by marital challenges and give up too quickly/easily, and that's really sad. So... kudos to Elder Oaks for that talk.

[sjdawg]

I have to say, I was glad to hear Dallin H. Oaks's talk about divorce a few years back, encouraging couples not to give up too easily on marriage. There may be times when divorce is necessary, but it seems that a lot of couples get really frightened by marital challenges and give up too quickly/easily, and that's really sad. So... kudos to Elder Oaks for that talk.

I wish the LDS Church would begin encouraging young adults to wait a couple more years before marrying. I think a little bit of added maturity might help reduce the LDS Divorce rate.

[LeSellers]

I wish the LDS Church would begin encouraging young adults to wait a couple more years before marrying. I think a little bit of added maturity might help reduce the LDS Divorce rate.

The issue is not "maturity", the issue is committment.

In the past, a man would marry a woman at age 16 or so, and his wife might be 14, seventy-five years later, they were still married because it mattered to them.

My Jacquie and I married eleven months after we met, following my return from the mission field. She was 19, I, 22. It's only been 40+ years for us, but it's mattered every day since that August morning in the Temple, or, more likely, since that October afternoon when I proposed to her.

Well, okeh, maybe it is "maturity", but "more mature" does not mean "older".

Lehi

[DH]

Though I am very much pro-family, I do have a couple of concerns. One is that in too many LDS meetings, even sacrament meetings, we frequently don't give enough attention to God and Jesus. I think the General Authorities have heard the complaints, and there has been some improvement, but we still have a ways to go. Second, the intensive focus on the family can leave single adults feeling out in the cold.

[Calm]

I wish the LDS Church would begin encouraging young adults to wait a couple more years before marrying. I think a little bit of added maturity might help reduce the LDS Divorce rate.

When I expressed concern about my son marrying younger than I thought was good (though it was mostly lack of dating experience I was concerned about), someone posted stats showing the youth at the time of marriage was not a factor in actual length of marriage so this may or may not be a factor in divorce rate.

However, it should be noted that young adults are waiting longer and the divorce rates are higher than when they didn't wait as long. Plus it seems to me that "added maturity" doesn't come all that often with just with more time, it is about what kind of choices they decide to make for their life and it seems to me that those people who are making the kind of choices that lead to experience and maturity tend to already be mature enough to be married.

[Mola Ram Suda Ram]

I wish the LDS Church would begin encouraging young adults to wait a couple more years before marrying. I think a little bit of added maturity might help reduce the LDS Divorce rate.

What exactly is the LDS divorce rate?

How does it compare to other groups?

All though none of that matters I suggest that people wait a little longer to marry in life and I suggest waiting 'til they are a few years older than 18 and 21. I married at 25 and I could see a huge difference in my marriage versus my friends that married at 19. Of course most of my friends are still married so they worked it out and all of them that are married are LDS.

[Mola Ram Suda Ram]

When I expressed concern about my son marrying younger than I thought was good (though it was mostly lack of dating experience I was concerned about), someone posted stats showing the youth at the time of marriage was not a factor in actual length of marriage so this may or may not be a factor in divorce rate.

I had heard quite the opposite, that those that marry in their teens and that dated their spouse for a few months divorced more frequently than those that married in their 20's and that dated for a few years.

I must confess that I know a great deal of divorces whom they married after dating for only a few months only divorced over video games ,and they claimed they knew nothing about it. One must ask the "Dr Laura" question of "Do you think they would have even married had they dated long enough to know that their potential spouse was a gaming (World of Warcraft) addict?"

Anyway I wonder what studies are out there.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

Oh, and FWIW "Focus on the Family" is a trademarked name for a Christian radio show that has nothing to do with the LDS Church.

True but James Dodson was racked over the coals for speaking at many LDS functions.

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

That's kind of sad. It should have been about God.

Just sayin'

Don't get me wrong, I'm all in favor of families. But that's not what church is supposed to be about.

The two are joined. It is not good for man to be alone...first covenant; multiply and replenish, first commandment.

[DH]

The two are joined. It is not good for man to be alone...first covenant; multiply and replenish, first commandment.

And here are the greatest commandments:

36 Master, which is the great commandment in the law?

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

(Matthew 22:36-40)

[cksalmon]

True but James Dodson was racked over the coals for speaking at many LDS functions.

[Dobson] was?

Very interesting. What LDS fuctions did he speak at, Pa Pa?

[Calm]

True but James Dodson was racked over the coals for speaking at many LDS functions.

I don't remember any of that---are you sure?, but Dobson has come under fire for his organization forming a political alliance with the LDS Church, for interviewing Orrin Hatch and for having a positive article on Beck's book, The Christmas Sweater, not sure if this is it though.

The LDS Church does not use the phrase "Focus on the Family" or "Focus on Family" as a slogan or motto that I could find. Those LDS who do use have probably picked it up from Dobson's organization.

[sjdawg]

Here is an interesting quote from Bob McCue on family within the LDS Church (posted even though realizing most of you won't agree with it)

So, when the data are collected and analysed respecting how family-oriented LDS people are,

we find that despite their belief that they are family-oriented, much of this orientation relates to

the life after death. On earth, Mormons tend to put Church ahead of family since that is what is

required to get to the Celestial Kingdom. But they ironically perceive this sacrifice to be made

for their families, and so it is part of their "family first" attitude.

I think there is some truth to what Bob is saying, but I don't think it is an intentional act either by the LDS Church or its membership.

[MorningStar]

Here is an interesting quote from Bob McCue on family within the LDS Church (posted even though realizing most of you won't agree with it)

I think there is some truth to what Bob is saying, but I don't think it is an intentional act either by the LDS Church or its membership.

I think that is a silly load of nonsense.

[sjdawg]

I think that is a silly load of nonsense.

Great

[MorningStar]

Great

With all the emphasis on family togetherness in this life - FHE, family prayer, scripture study, dinner together as a family, encouraging us not to overschedule ourselves, etc., I just don't think his statement rings true at all. So many Gospel teachings help create unity in the home too when followed.

[BCSpace]

I've heard it stated at least a few times that the church wasn't always about family and it was more of a PR move. I thought we could discuss the church's history on this and where these claims come from that it wasn't an emphasis before.

For those who don't know our doctrine or who've not thought very deeply about it, I can see why they would see it as a PR move. But I think the most crucial doctrine in the LDS Church, which transcends the Atonement, because it's just a step (albeit a very important one) in the process, is that we are all the literal children of God thus making us all family and capable of becoming Gods ourselves. This doctrine truly changes one's perspective, or should.

[DH]

For those who don't know our doctrine or who've not thought very deeply about it, I can see why they would see it as a PR move. But I think the most crucial doctrine in the LDS Church, which transcends the Atonement, because it's just a step (albeit a very important one) in the process, is that we are all the literal children of God thus making us all family and capable of becoming Gods ourselves. This doctrine truly changes one's perspective, or should.

I do not agree that the Atonement is merely "a step in the process," however important. God wants us to be at one with Him, and He wants us to be at one with the human family. Being "at one," or unified with each other, is the goal, and atonement, or "at-one-ment," is the process by which one accomplishes that goal.

[DH]

I've heard it stated at least a few times that the church wasn't always about family and it was more of a PR move. I thought we could discuss the church's history on this and where these claims come from that it wasn't an emphasis before.

Can't speak to possible PR motivations, but I will say that family has always been an important part of LDS teachings. I think perhaps the emphasis on the 1950s style nuclear family has gotten a little too strong, and that we should focus more on God as our Father, and the entire human family as our family, rather than focusing so narrowly on the nuclear family unit. The gospel is about relationships, as my Institute teacher likes to say, and our family is very important that way. However, our relationship with God is even more important, and we should broaden our affections to include all people, not just near kin. (Yeah, I know, "easier said than done!" But then, nobody said it was going to be easy.)