Well I am not Ex-Mormon since I am still a member but as you know I do not participate. So I will answer.
Why do you think evangelicals struggle to understand Mormon and ex-Mormon minds?
I would say in my experience they miss a number of issues. First, any active LDS person like myself, who becomes disaffected, is rather shell shocked. We put our trust in a religion with truth claims that when they fell apart, it makes us very cautious and distrusting. Next, for many of us, and I am one, we did explore other religious options. But for me, as I drilled into Christianity in general, and a variety of sects, when I used the same methodology that I applied to examine Mormonism, these tend to fall apart as well. Also, for me, if I am going to spend time devoted to a Christian tradition, I think Mormonism beats the others hands down. Next to that, I think Catholicism is the next best. I do meet with a Presbyterian Minister periodically. He is the minister of the church my step mother attended. My dad met with this man periodically because he loved arguing religion. As and adult he was not active in the LDS Church. But he knew the doctrine and history better than most. The last five years of his life he did start attending church, paying tithing, had a calling coordinating church cleaning schedules and he wanted to be ordained an Elder. Somehow his bishop and SP approved and I ordained him a couple years before he died. I was sort of mentally out at the time but it was important for me to do that for him. I still had a temple recommend at the time so I did do it for him. It was a special experience for both of us. I know I was a doubter at the time but if the Church is what it claims, I think Heavenly Father will honor the ordination.
Has a Christian ever tried to “convert” you after you left Mormonism? How did it go?
Yes. The minster I mentioned above. After my dad died I spent a lot of time in Denver where he and my step mom lived. I was helping her with a variety of issues. I got to know this man and I like him, So we do talk and he hopes to bring me to the real Jesus. Another was an evangelical friend and we have talked about a lot of religious things. Neither have persuaded me to their beliefs.
Is there a respectful way for Christians to engage with you?
Sure. Just tell me you want to talk and share your beliefs but don't be obnoxious or over bearing. The two people I mentioned above are very respectful and do not mind my challenges to what they believe. I enjoy my interaction with both.
Do you think their critiques accidentally pushed you toward secularism instead?
No not at all.
What makes Christian anti-Mormonism so uniquely off-putting to a modern Ex-Mormon?
Mostly I find they have not examined their own beliefs with the same rigor with which they criticize Mormonism with.