Glenn101 Posted July 31, 2018 Posted July 31, 2018 There is a really good article on LDS.org by a woman whose husband told her after their marriage that he no longer had the same beliefs. She has some really good insights, especially on the judgmental aspects of the situation. It is worth a read by TBM's, people who have left, and those in between, in my opinion. Glenn 2
Popular Post katherine the great Posted July 31, 2018 Popular Post Posted July 31, 2018 It's nice that she recognizes that her approach may not work for all couples. Being in a very longterm marriage, I would never divorce my husband over a change in religious belief now but, I must admit that if this had happened to me as a newlywed, I don't know what I would have done. I think it would have been just as devastating to me as adultery--possibly a deal breaker. It was extremely important to me to start a family with both of us on the same faith train. Now, I don't think it matters as much because our children are grown and we have many separate interests. 5
Thinking Posted July 31, 2018 Posted July 31, 2018 I read the article yesterday. I particularly liked this part. Quote The last few years have given me a front row seat into the lives of many who, like us, are fighting to stay in the Church. If you can’t see it, I encourage you to move in. Move in to see the young man who no longer wants to serve a mission but is too terrified to tell his leaders and peers. Move in to see the mother hurting because her children are ostracized in Primary. Move in to see the LGBTQ youth who are trying to reconcile their personal feelings in the context of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Move in to see what an amazing man my husband is, regardless of where he is in his faith. 3
Amulek Posted July 31, 2018 Posted July 31, 2018 Discovered a podcast with her as well (link). I didn't listen to the whole thing - just the first half or so. She provides a little more information about their situation, but doesn't go into too much detail about things. She does say that they had been dating for three years before getting married in the Bountiful temple. Within three months after their marriage her husband came to her with some of his concerns, and within six months after that he no longer identified with most of the church's teachings. The article and the podcast aren't really about him, so it's hard to say with any certainty, but I get the impression that he is functionally agnostic now. That seems like it would be a really tough situation. It would be like if you got married and then, within the first year, your husband told you he had changed his mind about having children - even though, throughout your dating and courtship, the two of you had both expressed a desire for children. Could the two of you have a happy relationship? Sure, but that kind of change, ex ante, is also going to cause significant strains in your marriage. As nice as it is to hear her insights as a newlywed, I would be much more interested in hearing her thoughts ten years down the road, after they have had the struggles pertaining to how they plan on raising their daughter / future children. Because once you have kids, that's when the rubber meets the road. 1
theplains Posted August 8, 2018 Posted August 8, 2018 On 7/30/2018 at 10:10 PM, Glenn101 said: There is a really good article on LDS.org by a woman whose husband told her after their marriage that he no longer had the same beliefs. She has some really good insights, especially on the judgmental aspects of the situation. It is worth a read by TBM's, people who have left, and those in between, in my opinion. Glenn https://www.gotquestions.org/married-unbeliever.html has some good insight on this. Thanks, Jim 1
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