What To Do When You Have Questions - Insight From New Era

[jstme]

I don't see it the way you do. The book of mormon is very clear about it. Pray about and you will receive an answer. It may come quickly as in my case or it may take time but it will come. I also think that it can come naturally but I wouldn't be waiting for it to happen. Also, the witness can come in various of ways. I don't think that the 'burning of the bossom is the way to go. It can be a wonderful spiritual experience but such an experience can come in various of ways. You just need to prepared to receive it so it is not missed.

Thank you for your heartfelt reply. There is something so absolute in the response of those, like you, who truly believe. It is probably the only reason I am still asking the questions. Because frankly after 20+ years of study, prayer, and asking; while getting no definitive answers, I am having trouble believing the Alma/Moroni/Doc & Cov model of prayer-answer.

[stemelbow]

There seems to be an element of, "If you ask questions correctly, you will get the answer that says the Church is true. However, if you ask incorrectly you may get another answer. If you get some other answer, revaluate the way you asked your question, cast aside your doubt, ask again, and you will get the right answer...if you don't keep trying until you do." I hope that this comment does not come off as inflamitory, but I am having a big struggle with this right now. Any insight or elaboration is appreciated.

That's it. The assumption is that ultimately the Church's stance or position is the right one. if you ask the question correctly you'll understand that. If you challenge the assumption that the Church is correct on this stance or position then you are making a grave error. But ultimately we don't know if the Church is right on each and every stance or position, because as history has shown the Church has been wrong a time or two. Why not be able to offer the challenge until either we are able to resolve the challenge and accept the Church's position or figure out that the Church actually needs to make an adjustment?

"No way...not possible. The Church can't be influenced by others because only the 15 men can discover truths". I've decided that is too one-dimensional and has been a weird attempt at limiting God and people.

[jstme]

That's it. The assumption is that ultimately the Church's stance or position is the right one. if you ask the question correctly you'll understand that. If you challenge the assumption that the Church is correct on this stance or position then you are making a grave error. But ultimately we don't know if the Church is right on each and every stance or position, because as history has shown the Church has been wrong a time or two. Why not be able to offer the challenge until either we are able to resolve the challenge and accept the Church's position or figure out that the Church actually needs to make an adjustment?"No way...not possible. The Church can't be influenced by others because only the 15 men can discover truths". I've decided that is too one-dimensional and has been a weird attempt at limiting God and people.

These are some of the same thoughts I have entertained. Thanks for your input.

[Tacenda]

Next month they should have a follow up article called "What Not To Do When You Have Questions".

Yeah, I broke all those rules because the two or three family members that now know that I'm struggling... keep saying Satan is working very hard.  So now they view me as being not strong enough to withstand that entity.  And now I'm self conscious about it.  I look at myself in the mirror - did this maybe twice, and see if the light is gone.  Well, sure the light will be gone, just as it can be when someone is upset, or sad, or totally depressed and despondent.  I don't like how now I'm the bad guy because it'll lump me in with the anti's even though they won't admit it. 

 

They don't even know all of what I struggle with because it's "anti Mormon".  And anti Mormon is all nonsense, nothing there that is true.  Yet when in actuality it is true in many cases but is taboo to bring up, therefore no one will touch it, that are stalwart LDS.  They are afraid to, which makes me think they aren't so sure themselves.  Because if they were they would reach out to help, maybe ask what is bothering me.  Hasn't happened, even with my bishop turned SP, even though some on here tell me to go speak with him, he knows -  I emailed my questions or problems, but never got a response.  I know he got my email too because he responded that he got it and was sorry he hadn't answered it yet.  People on here can't believe this happens but it does, people around me refuse to discuss it.  Only the faithful approach, my sister wouldn't even bother to read Fair Mormon Support, when I told her I went there because it is a pro LDS website helping people like me.  No wonder there is a John Dehlin out there and he put out that You tube video of why people leave.       

 

At least not the ones in my sphere bother to ask why, and in others that I've read about.  And I regret admitting my struggles to them but did because they wonder why I'm not there at the temple for different family functions.  I don't want them to think I've sinned beyond questioning.  Just yesterday when discussing (because it had something to do with temple attendance) my struggle with my sister, who is very loving to me, came out with the fact that she will never not believe the church is true, never.  So it hurt to hear her say it that way, because I failed at that conviction.  The second time we really even discussed this was yesterday, I didn't bring up any controversial stuff, the only subject she thinks I'm struggling with is JS's polygamy, I won't go further than that.  So what I've done with "what not to do when you have questions" is give some of my family reasons to believe I'm not all there mentally and that Satan has a hold of me. 

 

Just saw this article and reading it.  This gal sounds like she could be me, minus the feminism feel.  "Leaving Eden"  http://www.the-exponent.com/mourning-molly-leaving-eden/  

Edited July 1, 2014 by Tacenda

[Scott Lloyd]

There seems to be an element of, "If you ask questions correctly, you will get the answer that says the Church is true. However, if you ask incorrectly you may get another answer. If you get some other answer, revaluate the way you asked your question, cast aside your doubt, ask again, and you will get the right answer...if you don't keep trying until you do." I hope that this comment does not come off as inflamitory, but I am having a big struggle with this right now. Any insight or elaboration is appreciated.

It could just as easily be viewed in this way: If you approach it with a belligerent, chip-on-your-shoulder attitude of faultfinding, it would not be surprising if you arrive at a negative conclusion. I wouldn't view that as a trustworthy conclusion, however, given the attitude with which it was pursued.

 

I'll repeat the question I posed earlier: Must questions about the Church be adversarial to be productive?

 

And I'll repeat what I stated earlier: It boils down to an attitude of antagonism vs. an attitude of honest inquiry.

 

Since attitude is such a personal thing, each person must search his own soul on this matter. If you say you've been asking for many years and still haven't received an answer, I say at least the playing field is still level. I'm not so certain this would still be the case if you turned bitter.

[jstme]

Yeah, I broke all those rules because the two or three family members that now know that I'm struggling... keep saying Satan is working very hard. So now they view me as being not strong enough to withstand that entity. And now I'm self conscious about it. I look at myself in the mirror - did this maybe twice, and see if the light is gone. Well, sure the light will be gone, just as it can be when someone is upset, or sad, or totally depressed and despondent. I don't like how now I'm the bad guy because it'll lump me in with the anti's even though they won't admit it.

They don't even know all of what I struggle with because it's "anti Mormon". And anti Mormon is all nonsense, nothing there that is true. Yet when in actuality it is true in many cases but is taboo to bring up, therefore no one will touch it, that are stalwart LDS. They are afraid to, which makes me think they aren't so sure themselves. Because if they were they would reach out to help, maybe ask what is bothering me. Hasn't happened, even with my bishop turned SP, even though some on here tell me to go speak with him, he knows - I emailed my questions or problems, but never got a response. I know he got my email too because he responded that he got it and was sorry he hadn't answered it yet. People on here can't believe this happens but it does, people around me refuse to discuss it. Only the faithful approach, my sister wouldn't even bother to read Fair Mormon Support, when I told her I went there because it is a pro LDS website helping people like me. No wonder there is a John Dehlin out there and he put out that You tube video of why people leave.

At least not the ones in my sphere bother to ask why, and in others that I've read about. And I regret admitting my struggles to them but did because they wonder why I'm not there at the temple for different family functions. I don't want them to think I've sinned beyond questioning. Just yesterday when discussing (because it had something to do with temple attendance) my struggle with my sister, who is very loving to me, came out with the fact that she will never not believe the church is true, never. So it hurt to hear her say it that way, because I failed at that conviction. The second time we really even discussed this was yesterday, I didn't bring up any controversial stuff, the only subject she thinks I'm struggling with is JS's polygamy, I won't go further than that. So what I've done with "what not to do when you have questions" is give some of my family reasons to believe I'm not all there mentally and that Satan has a hold of me.

Just saw this article and reading it. This gal sounds like she could be me, minus the feminism feel. "Leaving Eden" http://www.the-exponent.com/mourning-molly-leaving-eden/

[jstme]

This also is problematic for me. 1) I don't want to make things awkward, but more importantly, 2) I don't want to put my struggles out for someone else to potentially trip on. So I try to find answers for myself without taking to anyone, , because when I have sight assistance from leaders it ha been lackluster at best, and dismissive at worst. That being said, I don't hold ill will for any of those answers, or lack thereof, because it it's not because individuals don't want to help, it's often because they can't see why I would even ask the question.

[jstme]

It could just as easily be viewed in this way: If you approach it with a belligerent, chip-on-your-shoulder attitude of faultfinding, it would not be surprising if you arrive at a negative conclusion. I wouldn't view that as a trustworthy conclusion, however, given the attitude with which it was pursued.

I'll repeat the question I posed earlier: Must questions about the Church be adversarial to be productive?

And I'll repeat what I stated earlier: It boils down to an attitude of antagonism vs. an attitude of honest inquiry.

Since attitude is such a personal thing, each person must search his own soul on this matter. If you say you've been asking for many years and still haven't received an answer, I say at least the playing field is still level. I'm not so certain this would still be the case if you turned bitter.

[jstme]

Good point. I think no matter what, if you are becoming bitter, you need to check yourself. Regardless of whether the Church is factual or not, it is certainly designed and carried out to make lives better. Although some may feel it does not succeed, I certainly do.

[theplains]

There seems to be an element of, "If you ask questions correctly, you will get the answer that says the Church is true. However, if you ask incorrectly you may get another answer. If you get some other answer, revaluate the way you asked your question, cast aside your doubt, ask again, and you will get the right answer...if you don't keep trying until you do." I hope that this comment does not come off as inflamitory, but I am having a big struggle with this right now. Any insight or elaboration is appreciated.

 

I came across a missionary once who briefly dissembled after being asked some difficult

questions. She and her partner retreated back into some type of verbal mantra of "I believe

Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day

Saints is the true church".  It seemed to have a hypnotic effect after they said that ... like a

reset. It was a little bizarre.  The more experienced missionaries don't get this frazzled.

 

Regards,

Jim

[cinepro]

Thank you for your heartfelt reply. There is something so absolute in the response of those, like you, who truly believe. It is probably the only reason I am still asking the questions. Because frankly after 20+ years of study, prayer, and asking; while getting no definitive answers, I am having trouble believing the Alma/Moroni/Doc & Cov model of prayer-answer.

 

The Alma/Moroni "model of prayer-answer" is interesting in that LDS approach it as if there were only one possible answer.  If that's the case, we should be upfront about that.  When we explain the process, we should clarify that there is only one possible correct answer, and if the person thinks they're getting a different answer (or no answer at all), then the problem is something they did.

 

If that isn't the case, and it's possible for someone to be answered that the Book of Mormon isn't "true", than we should also be more upfront about that.

[Tiki]

It could just as easily be viewed in this way: If you approach it with a belligerent, chip-on-your-shoulder attitude of faultfinding, it would not be surprising if you arrive at a negative conclusion. I wouldn't view that as a trustworthy conclusion, however, given the attitude with which it was pursued.

 

I'll repeat the question I posed earlier: Must questions about the Church be adversarial to be productive?

 

And I'll repeat what I stated earlier: It boils down to an attitude of antagonism vs. an attitude of honest inquiry.

 

Since attitude is such a personal thing, each person must search his own soul on this matter. If you say you've been asking for many years and still haven't received an answer, I say at least the playing field is still level. I'm not so certain this would still be the case if you turned bitter.

Correct.

This is why Moroni 10:3 is very important. You need to be grateful to the God you're asking the questions of, not antagonistic to, and to remember his mercies. It's the pattern of prayer we've all been taught:

Address the Father

Thank Him for your blessings (his mercies)

Ask Him for what you stand in need

Do so in the name of His Son

Remembering that He's merciful and being thankful is an attitude of humility that He appreciates (wouldn't you if someone asked a favor of you?) and which would place you in a mindset more receptive of receiving a response.