You Know You'Re A Mormon If...

[DH]

I was surfing the Net and a headline caught my eye, "Dieter sports a bikini." The startling image of Dieter Uchtdorf wearing a skimpy bathing suit popped into my mind! It took me a couple of seconds to realize they were talking about someone who was on a diet.

[Veles]

Oh yes, I'm positive at the test too... I'm a real mormon...

[Garden Girl]

[KevinG]

...you have more sets of scriptures than televisions in your house.

...you think fetch is a swear word.

...a bad coke habit involves soft drinks.

...you stopped having children at 39 because 40 kids is just too many for anyone.

Keep 'em coming folks.

[Garden Girl]

jello is one of the basic food groups.

all your casserole dishes have your name on the bottom.

your kids spike the punch with pepsi.

[Kenngo1969]

if ... your mom showed up at your wedding pregnant?

[Buzzard]

-You get transferred at work. First you call your wife, then you call U-Haul, then you call the Elders Quorum president.

-You are offended at profanity in public, but laugh your head off at J. Golden Kimball quotes.

-If your a single girl, at a dance you run your hands along a partners neck to feel for garment lines.

[Pahoran]

if ... your mom showed up at your wedding pregnant?

I don't know about the wedding, but in our ward a young man returned from his mission to see his new baby sister for the first time. Baby sister is now two years old and has a niece.

And all our casserole dishes do have our name on the bottom. Don't everyone's?

Regards,

Pahoran

[Bill “Papa” Lee]

...you have more sets of scriptures than televisions in your house.

...you think fetch is a swear word.

...a bad coke habit involves soft drinks.

...you stopped having children at 39 because 40 kids is just too many for anyone.

Keep 'em coming folks.

...if every car you own is at Church on Sunday.

[Stargazer]

if ... your mom showed up at your wedding pregnant?

We were only a few years separated from that one. Our oldest was on his mission while his mother was gestating our last three -- a pair of twins and our youngest. A couple more years and it would have been the wedding.

Edited to add accuracy

Edited September 12, 2012 by Stargazer

[KevinG]

...if every car you own is at Church on Sunday.

Your small car is a minivan.

[Kenngo1969]

I don't know about the wedding, but in our ward a young man returned from his mission to see his new baby sister for the first time. Baby sister is now two years old and has a niece. ...

Well, they had to do something about the Empty Nest Syndrome! (Of course, I'm assuming the missionary didn't have any younger siblings between the missionary and the baby ...)

[Kenngo1969]

We were only a few years separated from that one. Our oldest was on his mission while his mother was gestating our last three -- a pair of twins and our youngest. A couple more years and it would have been the wedding.

Edited to add accuracy

Heh!

[Sis W.]

if your end tables are barrels of wheat covered with designer cloths--

[altersteve]

Your tithing is more than your car payment.

[Verum]

-The acronym D&C means something completely different to you....

-There is a basketball hoop somewhere in your wedding photos

-you could tie a tie by age 12

-you are having to explaining to neighbors why you have pictures hanging on the wall of men in suits who are not members of your family

-If you ever expressed using the word heck as something you possess.

-You occasionally have to explain the mysterious key chain you have with with yellow-greenish fluid...

[Saints Alive]

- you dont own a tank top

- you ask waiters if a dish contains alcohol

- you make your own rootbeer

[shalamabobbi]

Some of your friends:

-believe bigfoot is Cain.

-fall in love before saying hi.

-need a priesthood blessing to make a decision

-crawled in through the wrong hole trying on one piece garments