Calm Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) a bee is attracted to honey and so I am working on being the honeyYou got it wrong according to the King of Siam (at least the musical version The King and I):It is like old Siamese saying. A girl is like a blossom, with honey for just one man. A man is like a honey bee and gather all he can. To fly from blossom to blossom a honey bee must be free. But blossom must not ever fly from bee to bee to bee.I prefer your version myself. Edited March 17, 2012 by calmoriah 1
Calm Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) Why women gossip and gossip about other people and create fantasy theories (and posts) about why men are not married, among other things..I don't remember any threads being started by a woman about why men are not married, OTOH there are quite a few threads on this subject so that must mean...... Edited March 17, 2012 by calmoriah
mercyngrace Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 I know this is only tangentially related but I wonder if the decline in marriage in the western world is related to the increase in divorce over the last few generations.IIRC, studies have confirmed that children of divorce often experience an extended adolescence and a reluctance to marry and parent. The reluctance is attributed by some as a result of not seeing good modeling of the spouse/parent roles. The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, the impact on children of divorce, takes it greatest toll in adulthood in their romantic relationships.One can be a childhood victim of divorce even if their parents stayed married. I came from a family where there was a huge age difference among siblings. As a result, I grew up living with an angry older sibling who suffered from a brutal and self-esteem destroying divorce. The vivid trauma of my sister's divorce, bred an unnatural level of mistrust in me that I still, three decades later, have to make a concentrated effort to ignore.My husband grew up watching every marriage in his parents' generation (and his grandparents' for that matter) end in pain and divorce. He readily admitted when we started dating that he didn't think he could get married or be a father because he had no idea how to do it and worried that we would end up hating each other. He hadn't seen successful marriages, he said, until he joined the church.I wonder if the sins of our parents (our society) are visiting the children unto the third and fourth generations. 2
Messenger Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 I don't remember any threads being started by a woman about why men are not married, OTOH there are quite a few threads on this subject so that must mean......Actually Cal, there are FAR more posts, talks, and HORSEPUCKY about men not being married then women, and YOU know it. Your post is probably another fantasy theory in my opinion. Hugs and kisses your way ...You're out of the thread. The tone of this post is not acceptable. Everyone: This thread should not be used to bash men or women.
Calm Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) Actually Cal, there are FAR more posts..... about men not being married then women, and YOU know it. Your post is probably another fantasy theory in my opinion. Feel free to prove that women are "gossiping" about this more than men on the board. Even in this thread, there are far, far more posts by men than women. Feel free to pull up any thread in the past on the subject and demonstrate that it was started by a woman or that women were posting about it more than men. Edited March 17, 2012 by calmoriah
Kenngo1969 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 I'm not going to put all the blame for my Single State on the shoulders of women. One major reason why I can't attract the sustained interest of a woman is my perpetual vacillation between un- and underemployment. (Perhaps I'm too picky when it comes to potential suitable jobs; on the other hand, while I'm something more than an invalid, I can't exactly do manual labor). Now, all of this having been said ...The Script says, "Go on a mission, come home, get a job, go to school, find one or more girlfriends, get married to one of said girlfriends, graduate, settle into a career ..." Well, I got the "Go on a mission, come home, go to school, and graduate" parts down: in fact, I've graduated, and graduated, and graduated ... For reasons I cannot understand, it seems that the more educated I've become, the less useful I appear. Now, I'm not going to minimize my seemingly perpetual state of un- and underemployment and its effect on the other aspects of my life. But assuming that ever gets resolved, I have one indispensible qualification in a woman, and Only One: that she reciprocate my interest! She doesn't have to be blond, or perky, or young, or height-and-weight proportional. All she has to do is reciprocate my interest ... period; end-of-sentence, end-of-story.
GingerRed Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) Nobody believes anymore in the Divine Matchmaker?What, as in sit on our behinds and assume the Lord is going drop Prince Charming in our laps?? NOT!! Doesn't work that way. You have to do all you can do FIRST...THEN the Lord steps in. If one isn't doing all they can to get out there and find the right person, (and I should add...make THEMSELVES as good as you want the person you find, to be good) then the Lord is not obligated to steer you in the right direction.If one has hang-ups, issues, committal fears, baggage, etc etc....then those need to be worked on/resolved/taken care of first. Edited March 17, 2012 by GingerRed
selek1 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Everyone: This thread should not be used to bash men or women.Especially since we men would get our butts kicked....Fear thou the combined wrath of the UMW!!
Kenngo1969 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 ...One friend of mine in his 30's complained that women saw him as an older brother rather than someone to date. This cute little red head took a major interest in him, but he wanted someone who looked like a model. His loss. She was kind, thoughtful, and pretty too.My husband's best friend is in his mid 30's and he is way picky. He dated a girl for years and her only downfall was that she didn't like hiking very much. We kept telling him that when kids come along, that's not going to happen as much anyway. You can't have everything in common and there were plenty of things that they did have in common.Any contact info for these sisters?
Calm Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Especially since we men would get our butts kicked....Fear thou the combined wrath of the UMW!!But you know we love you, selek.
GingerRed Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 Interesting. In other words, "no."I didn't say no. I said we do all we can do, first. That is what the Lord expects of us. You don't believe that?
Log Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 If your answer is not "no," please describe what you think the Lord can, or should, do to assist you in becoming sealed to an eternal companion.
GingerRed Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 If your answer is not "no," please describe what you think the Lord can, or should, do to assist you in becoming sealed to an eternal companion.I explained that already. You work on yourself first. You try to be the best person you can be. You learn from past mistakes. You stay close to the Lord by following the gospel, reading scriptures, surround yourself with positive uplifting things, do acts of service. This is what you ask the Lord to help you with, to pray to Him to accomplish all these things. Not to try to be 'perfect' but to excel in what you are able to excel in. This is what I want the Lord to assist me with. Just simply praying for the Lord to throw a good man in your path, is not enough! You have to be worthy of that. You have to do all you can do. Once you are, then it should hopefully fall into place and that man will come along. I guess that's why I'm still single. I haven't reached that plateau yet. Maybe I'm not ready yet. Maybe the man I'm supposed to be with, isn't ready yet either. 2
Gohan Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) In an attempt to lighten the tone of the thread - and hopefully not bash anyone, please don't take it in anything but a for fun spirit - here's a funny video from BYU's Vocal Point... Edited March 17, 2012 by Gohan
Calm Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) Not a bad elmo imitation.Can't find the lyrics, darn. Edited March 17, 2012 by calmoriah
Log Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) I explained that already. You work on yourself first....I just want to point out that none of this substantially answers my question, which was to describe what you think the Lord can, or should, do to assist you in becoming sealed to an eternal companion. The reason for this omission seems to me to be because your answer is actually "no," you do not really believe in the Divine Matchmaker, or that you have no faith in God to perform that role. I believe in this you are not alone, and that it is the perspective of the vast majority of singles in the Church - we gain companionships through our works, and not by the gift and grace of God. It may not be scriptural, and it may even be false, but it is the prevailing cultural view.Not that I necessarily disagree with anything you've written above. Maybe I should have phrased the question thusly: "Assuming you are perfected in Christ, and retain a remission of your sins from day to day, what is the role the Lord plays, or should play, in your becoming sealed to an eternal companion?" Edited March 17, 2012 by Log
GingerRed Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 I just want to point out that none of this substantially answers my question, which was to describe what you think the Lord can, or should, do to assist you in becoming sealed to an eternal companion. The reason for this omission seems to me to be because your answer is actually "no," you do not really believe in the Divine Matchmaker, or that you have no faith in God to perform that role. I believe in this you are not alone, and that it is the perspective of the vast majority of singles in the Church - we gain companionships through our works, and not by the gift and grace of God. It may not be scriptural, and it may even be false, but it is the prevailing cultural view.Not that I necessarily disagree with anything you've written above. Maybe I should have phrased the question thusly: "Assuming you are perfected in Christ, and retain a remission of your sins from day to day, what is the role the Lord plays, or should play, in your becoming sealed to an eternal companion?"Do not put words in my mouth. I never said I have no faith in God to 'perform that role". Works plus faith, remember? That's what the church teaches. I can't expect the Lord to answer my prayers if I go around doing nothing to accomplish my goals. I guess I got MY answer that you do not believe this is true.
Calm Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 I do not see how preparing oneself to receive a blessing reflects a belief that the potential of the blessing is nil, that the Lord is not going to step in when he feels it is appropriate to fulfill the blessing to the fullest promised.
selek1 Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 I do not see how preparing oneself to receive a blessing reflects a belief that the potential of the blessing is nil, that the Lord is not going to step in when he feels it is appropriate to fulfill the blessing to the fullest promised.Cal, it helps if you adopt two practices:first, start with the presumption that there is no God and it's all a bunch of self-indulgent nonsense.and second, let your conclusion drive your reasoning, rather than the other way 'round.
Calm Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Cal, it helps if you adopt two practices:first, start with the presumption that there is no God and it's all a bunch of self-indulgent nonsense.and second, let your conclusion drive your reasoning, rather than the other way 'round.That would work, but I don't think that is what Log did. I don't understand his reasoning this time around.
Log Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 (edited) Do not put words in my mouth. I never said I have no faith in God to 'perform that role".That's true; many members would never say outright they have no faith in God to do X, for varying values of X; but watching what they do and listening to what they say, they betray nothing consistent with a belief that God in fact does X, apart from a possible pro-forma assertion that God does, in fact, do X. Edited March 18, 2012 by Log
GingerRed Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 That's true; many members would never say outright they have no faith in God to do X, for varying values of X; but watching what they do and listening to what they say, they betray nothing consistent with a belief that God in fact does X, apart from a pro-forma assertion that God does, in fact, do X. Which is actually missing from your posts, in fact.Okay you've lost me. I have no idea what you're trying to say. Are you an active LDS? Are you a man or women? I don't get where you are coming from.
Log Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 I am male, and I am an active member.Do you believe that God performs the role of a Divine Matchmaker?
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