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Social Propriety On Facebook


Duncan

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So I have this female friend. I am a dude by the way. Anyways I adore her and value our friendship. She has this friend, also a woman. I have known about this other person for maybe 2.5 years now and have alway seen pictures of her and comments and stuff like that, maybe had one or two little comment interaction. Seems like a fun person, normal and not a total weirdo. I wouldn't mind being friends with her. We have some friends in common but I have never broached the subject with them about it. Honestly, I don't have any ulterior motives with this women, I know she isn't married but other then that I dunno. Problem is my friend can be a bit territorial when it comes to friends as she appears to adhere to the "worlds colliding" theory espoused by George Costanza from the TV. It would be a no brainer to ask my friend if she could give me a recommendation to be friends with her friend but the thing of it is is we haven't talked much really, and it seems she has put up an emotional wall that I can't get around and I honestly think she would further distance herself from me, because I get the sense she is doing that with others. So I would like to be friends with this other friend but don't want to step on any emotional eggshells in the process? Any clues?

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Since your friend uses the philosophies of George Constanza. Then why can't you also?

George was "successful" when he did the "opposite" of what he normally would do. So the "normal George" would not contact this girl in any way so therefore you should.

In all seriousness, what is the harm in sending a friendly "hi" to this lady? She wouldn't like a random "friend" request, but a well thought out email behind honest intentions she definitely would appreciate. Nothing to lose. Besides, when you are out on your 3rd date, she might get a kick that you decided to use the "opposite George" on her. pardon.gif

If your friend becomes "upset" about contacting her, she will eventually get over it - it is only Facebook and technically your worlds have already "collided" and therefore it is your friend's fault for bringing you two together! good.gif

Good luck!

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Since your friend uses the philosophies of George Constanza. Then why can't you also?

George was "successful" when he did the "opposite" of what he normally would do. So the "normal George" would not contact this girl in any way so therefore you should.

In all seriousness, what is the harm in sending a friendly "hi" to this lady? She wouldn't like a random "friend" request, but a well thought out email behind honest intentions she definitely would appreciate. Nothing to lose. Besides, when you are out on your 3rd date, she might get a kick that you decided to use the "opposite George" on her. pardon.gif

If your friend becomes "upset" about contacting her, she will eventually get over it - it is only Facebook and technically your worlds have already "collided" and therefore it is your friend's fault for bringing you two together! good.gif

Good luck!

Thanks! What about the Jerry and Elaine's in the picture? Should I broach the subject with one or two of them and see what their take also is?

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Thanks! What about the Jerry and Elaine's in the picture? Should I broach the subject with one or two of them and see what their take also is?

It really isn't necessary.

If you ran into this lady that you are interested in and you said "hi" to her on the streets, would you feel you would have to tell Jerry and Elaine about it? Would you feel you had to tell them about it before you saw her on the streets? My point, it isn't a big deal and you have already "interacted" with her on the streets (comments etc on facebook) and if you take that same attitude (no big deal) about it, no "emotional eggshells" will be harmed*.

*Disclaimer - some women (no offense intended - I love my sisters) will have an emotional breakdown about anything. There is a possibility that this could happen so you have been warned brother.

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It really isn't necessary.

If you ran into this lady that you are interested in and you said "hi" to her on the streets, would you feel you would have to tell Jerry and Elaine about it? Would you feel you had to tell them about it before you saw her on the streets? My point, it isn't a big deal and you have already "interacted" with her on the streets (comments etc on facebook) and if you take that same attitude (no big deal) about it, no "emotional eggshells" will be harmed*.

*Disclaimer - some women (no offense intended - I love my sisters) will have an emotional breakdown about anything. There is a possibility that this could happen so you have been warned brother.

I added her, I feel like huck, I don't know why!

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You can ask to be anyone's friend that you want. Facebook friending should not elicit the same response as hanging out in person might (specially if this "friend" is really waiting for you to be her prince charming and you just haven't figured that out or don't want the same).

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Good luck!

yes, thank you!! So I just got in and she emailed me but didn't confirm and it looks like the request is still there and she said what would make me happy? like what the? I am confused. I emailed her back and said thanks and just gently reminded her I would like to be friends so I await that I guess!

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yes, thank you!! So I just got in and she emailed me but didn't confirm and it looks like the request is still there and she said what would make me happy? like what the? I am confused. I emailed her back and said thanks and just gently reminded her I would like to be friends so I await that I guess!

Sometimes us girls are slow to realize what guys are thinking and what their motives are. Just be honest and everything will be fine. :)

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Sometimes us girls are slow to realize what guys are thinking and what their motives are. Just be honest and everything will be fine. :)

More to come as the plot thickens! I can't sleep now, it is just like Jr High, I know!

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