Theological Twinkies

[Mola Ram Suda Ram]

GAIA:

Hi There --

Actually, this idea was debunked by LDS leaders --

For example, LDS apostle John Widtsoe said:

Not that I want to bake your twinkie, Lol. BUt the whole idea for this thread is just that, doctrines that are either partially true or are mormom folk lore. Just stuff that really doesnt enlighten the soul. It does nothing for the spirit.

[ERMD]

I don't know about 1850 to 1940, but as long as I have been in the Church, there has always been more women than men in the Chruch, by a substantial margin.

I was at a Single Adult conference in around 1996, where the General Authority keynote speaker quoted the statistic that, church-wide, there are five times as many single women as single men.

That's only true when calculating the difference using mass, not individuals.

[The Nehor]

That's only true when calculating the difference using mass, not individuals.

Is it wrong that I can't stop laughing at that?

[LifeOnaPlate]

That's only true when calculating the difference using mass, not individuals.

Oh no you didn't.

[Jigglysaint]

Oh no you didn't.

That's what she said!

I have a joke for all of you. Why is the Church alot like a Twinkie? Because after the end of the world, those two things are the only things that are going to be left!

[Mola Ram Suda Ram]

That's what she said!

I have a joke for all of you. Why is the Church alot like a Twinkie? Because after the end of the world, those two things are the only things that are going to be left!

The church and a twinkie, Im confused. Oh well.

[a_little_taller]

He is even more stunned when he goes to the mission president to share the experience and the MP uses the Priesthood to rebuke the evil spirit in his arm. The missionaries arm is suddenly broke again.

Or a related story about two devilish teachers substituting vodka for sacrament water. As the priest started to bless the water, both teachers were struck dead.

It may be a myth, but it kept me from monkeying with the sacrament emblems as a young man.

[SolarPowered]

The church and a twinkie, Im confused. Oh well.

The urban legend is that Twinkies

[Mola Ram Suda Ram]

The urban legend is that Twinkies

[urroner]

Lol, I must have missed the memo, THat is funny.

Why does the "twinkie"have a 50 year shelf life?

Welcome to the world of urban legends.

This is one of those things that everyone hears and believes (because it makes sense: it tells you something you want to believe, that twinkies are so filled with preservatives that they must be bad for you) but isn't actually true. Twinkies expire just like most other pasteries.

Nevertheless, it's entered into our popular culture. Because everyone has heard it (and most people believe it) you can say something "lasts longer than a twinkie" and everyone will know what you mean.

Here's a link that covers this well:

http://www.snopes.com/food/ingredient/tw...

Here's a quote from it: "Twinkies have a shelf life of twenty-five days, not seven years, and certainly not fifty years. Even so, twenty-five days is an unusually long time for a baked product to stay fresh. The secret to Twinkies' longevity is their lack of dairy ingredients â?? because dairy products are not part of the formula, Twinkies spoil much more slowly than other bakery items."

So next time you hear somebody telling you about twinkies you'll know better and can correct them.

[Doctor Steuss]

[...]

Anyhow, I don't believe that Pentacostals are posessed by evil spirits when they speak in tongues. I heard that scientists have attended those meetings and used statistics to discover that what they speak is not really like any known human languages at all.

Kinda Interesting Article... Maybe

Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania took brain images of five women while they spoke in tongues and found that their frontal lobes â?? the thinking, willful part of the brain through which people control what they do â?? were relatively quiet, as were the language centers. The regions involved in maintaining self-consciousness were active. The women were not in blind trances, and it was unclear which region was driving the behavior.

[LifeOnaPlate]

Kinda Interesting Article... Maybe

Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania took brain images of five women while they spoke in tongues and found that their frontal lobes â?? the thinking, willful part of the brain through which people control what they do â?? were relatively quiet, as were the language centers. The regions involved in maintaining self-consciousness were active. The women were not in blind trances, and it was unclear which region was driving the behavior.

Thanks, that was interesting.

[HiJolly]

Or a related story about two devilish teachers substituting vodka for sacrament water. As the priest started to bless the water, both teachers were struck dead.

It may be a myth, but it kept me from monkeying with the sacrament emblems as a young man.

I once got a piece of bread that had been soaked in vinegar. Wow. It was all I could do to keep a straight face. I didn't want to give the perpetrator the satisfaction...

HiJolly

[Doctor Steuss]

I once got a piece of bread that had been soaked in vinegar. Wow. It was all I could do to keep a straight face. I didn't want to give the perpetrator the satisfaction...

HiJolly

The perpetrator was G-d. You weren't worthy.

[MormonMason]

I heard this one over 20 years ago:

Del Parsons was commissioned to paint his portrait of Christ by the First Presidency. He was instructed to show them his progress, and they would have him make corrections until he got it right.

I served part of my mission with a guy whose uncle posed for that painting. <snicker>

He used to get quite a laugh whenever he heard stories like the above.