The true reason why you left the church?

[cacheman]

1) Offended by a member or teaching (one man left the Church because Joseph Smith misspelled his name!)

I suspect that Symonds Ryder is who you are referring to. If so, it is a mischaracterization to infer that he was offended because JS misspelled his name. Having his name misspelled in a revelation led him to question the fallibility of the Holy Spirit. It led to questioning, not offense. That may seem trivial, but it is certainly a stretch to say that he left the church due to offense. Other factors eventually led to his leaving the church.

I find this type of mischaracterization of apostates sad. Too often only part of the story is told, so that the apostate appears petty or evil. It was not long ago (2yrs?) that I attended GC and heard one of the GA's (I think it was Maxwell) tell a story of an apostate who left due to the fact that JS took a break from translating and played with his children. This was given as the sole reason for his apostacy. After a little research, I found that there was more to the story.

Why only tell the part of the story that makes the apostate seem petty? Why not the whole truth? Is there a benefit in making apostates look bad or irrational?

These are the kinds of things that family and ward members are taught about people who leave the church. Our motivations are constantly being questioned or discerned. Why does it need to be this way?

Not everyone is like this as evidenced by some on this board. But it is the prevailing notion found in church lesson materials that apostates are motivated by laziness, evilness, or pride. I for one, would like to see more apostates given the benefit of the doubt, and be judged solely on their actions. Just as all should be.

cacheman

[suem]

Genesis 2:20-22 (King James Version)

  20And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

  21And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

  22And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

Gods ribs or Adams Ribs?

I Love the JOD... I also Love the Apoycrpha.  Why not?

Even interpreting it to be god's rib, that still does not change my original question:

What IS absurd is Buddah floating out in space and suddenly sneezing the universe out his left nostril.  (Ie A God who is set in cement as Christianity teaches).

How is that any more absurd than any other creation story? A woman being made out of the rib of a man (or god)?

As I have heard many a believer say before, "God works in mysterious ways, we don't know how he did it"... so on that note, maybe god sneezed the earth into existence, how do you know he didn't?

If god can yank out his own rib to make a woman, why can't he sneeze and make the universe?

I love the JOD as well, but I am sure it is for completely different reasons.

[Benji]

Boniface's following reasons for not believing in Mormonism also apply to me:

- Eternal Progression

- The idea that God was once a man

- The church's denial of original sin

- The church's denial of the Communion of Saints

- Lack of real presence in the Sacrament

- The idea that everyone should just close their eyes and follow the prophet

- Sacrament meeting talks that focussed less on lessons from the Scriptures and more on talks given by General Authorities. Talks that spoke less of the teachings and sacrifice of Jesus Christ and more of the works and teachings of Joseph Smith.

This quote from the Improvement Era sums up nicely the Mormon philosophy that one should not think for oneself:

"When our leaders speak, the thinking has been done. When they propose a plan-it is God's plan. When they point the way, there is no other which is safe. When they give direction, it should mark the end of controversy. God works no other way. To think otherwise, without immediate repentance, may cost one his faith, may destroy his testimony, and leave him a stranger to the kingdom of God." ("Ward Teachers Message for June, 1945," Improvement Era, 48 (June, 1945))

Benji

[Brentley]

I believe that many of you here would still be strong in the church today if you just would have listened.

That is one of the most bigoted statements I have ever read. So you're telling us that we would be fine if we just shut down mentally and did what we were told?

I was talking about the actual church not the people in the church. It seems that much of you are getting confused of what is pure and what not. I was clearly talking about the spirit. Trust me, I know how imperfect members can be (it is that way in all churches) but that is why it is so cool that Christ is at the head of this church. We can "listen" and follow Him.

sorry for the confusion.

[Rollo Tomasi]

This quote from the Improvement Era sums up nicely the Mormon philosophy that one should not think for oneself:

"When our leaders speak, the thinking has been done. When they propose a plan-it is God's plan. When they point the way, there is no other which is safe. When they give direction, it should mark the end of controversy. God works no other way. To think otherwise, without immediate repentance, may cost one his faith, may destroy his testimony, and leave him a stranger to the kingdom of God." ("Ward Teachers Message for June, 1945," Improvement Era, 48 (June, 1945))

Fortunately, then LDS president George Albert Smith thoroughly rejected this teaching; unfortunately, he only did it in a private latter rather than in a public statement, which has allowed this kind of tripe to live on. Here is President Smith's letter:

*************************

December 7, 1945

Dr. J. Raymond Cope

First Unitarian Society

13th East at 6th South Street

Salt Lake City, Utah

My dear Dr. Cope:

I have read with interest and deep concern your letter of November 16, 1945, in which you make special comment on "a short religious editorial prepared by one of your (our) leaders entitled "Sustaining the General Authorities of the Church'". You say that you read the message with amazement, and that you have since been disturbed because of its effect upon members of the Church.

I am gratified with the spirit of friendliness that pervades your letter, and thank you for having taken the time to write to me.

The leaflet to which you refer, and from which you quote in your letter, was not "prepared" by "one of our leaders." However, one or more of them inadvertently permitted the paragraph to pass uncensored. By their so doing, not a few members of the Church have been upset in their feelings, and General Authorities have been embarrassed.

I am pleased to assure you that you are right in your attitude that the passage quoted does not express the true position of the Church. Even to imply that members of the Church are not to do their own thinking is grossly to misrepresent the true ideal of the Church, which is that every individual must obtain for himself a testimony of the truth of the Gospel, must, through the redemption of Jesus Christ, work out his own salvation, and is personally responsible to His Maker for his individual acts. The Lord Himself does not attempt coercion in His desire and effort to give peace and salvation to His children. He gives the principles of life and true progress, but leaves every person free to choose or to reject His teachings. This plan the Authorities of the Church try to follow.

The Prophet Joseph Smith once said: "I want liberty of thinking and believing as I please." This liberty he and his successors in the leadership of the Church have granted to every other member thereof.

On one occasion in answer to the question by a prominent visitor how he governed his people, the Prophet answered: "I teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves."

Again, as recorded in the History of the Church (Volume 5, page 498 [499] Joseph Smith said further: "If I esteem mankind to be in error, shall I bear them down? No. I will lift them up, and in their own way too, if I cannot persuade them my way is better; and I will not seek to compel any man to believe as I do, only by the force of reasoning, for truth will cut its own way."

I cite these few quotations, from many that might be given, merely to confirm your good and true opinion that the Church gives to every man his free agency, and admonishes him always to use the reason and good judgment with which God has blessed him.

In the advocacy of this principle leaders of the Church not only join congregations in singing but quote frequently the following:

"Know this, that every soul is free

To choose his life and what he'll be,

For this eternal truth is given

That God will force no man to heaven."

Again I thank you for your manifest friendliness and for your expressed willingness to cooperate in every way to establish good will and harmony among the people with whom we are jointly laboring to bring brotherhood and tolerance.

Faithfully yours,

Geo. Albert Smith [signed]

******************************

[philstone]

I thought of leaveing The church and joining a Trappest, Passionist or dominican monistary at one point but what kept me in the Church was the atonement and The Book of Mormon. So I can understand why some people would want to leave becuse somethings arnt explained to them right away or they dont make sense it's just a matter of passing thorugh the darkness.

[Benji]

Fortunately, then LDS president George Albert Smith thoroughly rejected this teaching; unfortunately, he only did it in a private latter rather than in a public statement, which has allowed this kind of tripe to live on.

Yes, live on it does. As do many other things said by LDS leaders that have never been officially condemned. It makes one wonder why this has never been done?

Benji

[Brentley]

Hello Brentley,

I was raised in a TBM family. My dad was the ward clerk when I was a kid and my uncle is currently a bishop. I was always a very inquisitive child. The first question I remember asking around age 7 or 8 was about polygamy and the answer I got from my dad was, "Well the church used to do that but we don't anymore. You're too young to understand right now so don't worry about it." His answer left me feeling very dismissed and the idea that polygamy was ever a commandment seriously bothered me. As I got older I continued to ask more questions. Here is a dialogue I had with my Sunday School teacher as a deacon:

Me: Who made God?

My teacher: His Father

Me: Who made him?

My teacher: His Father

Me: Who made him?

My teacher: His Father

Me: Who made him?

My teacher: His Father

Me: Who made him?

My teacher: His Father

This did not make sense to me logically and my questioning continued. As a teacher, I had a conversation with my dad about why black people were denied the priesthood. He told me about the war in heaven and how blacks were less valiant in the war which is why their skin is darker. I think that was the final straw for me. Everything had been building for years and now I was 14 years old with the ability to articulate how I felt, along with the will to say I do not believe the Mormon church is true. About 5 years later I finally had my name removed from the records after the home teachers would not stop bothering me. It was around this time that my curiosity grew as to why my parents even joined the Mormon church in the first place (they were both converts and met at a church dance). I decided to do some research on Mormonism from the Public Library (This was in 1995, before the internet was as big as it is now). I found a book called Wife No. 19 that absolutely blew my mind. It is the autobiography of Brigham Young's 19th wife, Ann-Eliza Young. Her firsthand account of early Mormonism was heartwrenching. Here is what is written on the title page of the book:

WIFE No. 19, OR THE STORY OF A LIFE IN BONDAGE, BEING A COMPLETE EXPOSE OF MORMONISM, AND REVEALING THE SORROWS, SACRIFICES AND SUFFERINGS OF WOMEN IN POLYGAMY.

Also, here is the very last paragraph of the 605 page book:

"But one thing is certain. If one voice, or one pen, can exert any influence, the pen will never be laid aside, the voice will never be silenced. I have given myself to this work, and I have promised before God never to withdraw from it. It is my life mission; and I have faith to believe that my work will not be in vain, and that I shall live to see the foul curse removed, and Utah - my beloved Utah - free from the unholy rule of the religious tyrant, - Brigham Young."

I always thought Mormonism was a little strange and there were things that didn't quite add up for me but I never knew any of this stuff. Her book chronicles some horrifying accounts of what it was like to grow up in Utah while Brigham Young was in charge. By the way, He was 75 and she was 25 when they were married. Brigham forced her into the marriage by threatening to destroy her brother's business if she refused. That's just one of the many things from the book that is very revealing about the true nature of Brigham Young.

As my search for truth continued I learned about all the other dirty little secrets that you never hear growing up in the LDS church. These include the following: The original temple ceremony and the changes to it in 1990; Joseph and his many wives, how he acquired them from married men, and then lying about them to Mormons; the Kinderhook plates; the numerous changes to the BOM; the BOA issue; plaigerism in the BOM; blood atonement; racist speeches by Brigham Young; The Mountain Meadows Massacre; the connection between freemasonry and the temple ceremony; the numerous first vision accounts; and finally the DNA issue. It became clear to me that the LDS church was not only a little strange and untrue, but significant parts of its past were downright disturbing.

All of this was very overwhelming and it seemed like my entire life was based on a lie. I tried to tell my dad about some of the things I had discovered but he would not hear any of it and immediately wrote it all off as "anti-mormon material".

Eventually I became a Christian and discovered that Mormonism is just a counterfeit version of the true gospel, very similar to the Jehovah's Witnesses and Christian Scientists (incidentally all three were formed in the 1800's). It became very clear that Joseph Smith was a brilliant con-man who was very able to manipulate and deceive people. He must have been extremely charismatic. Brigham Young picked up where Joseph left off and continued the deception. Mormonism flourished in Utah because anyone who joined the church in those days had to come to "Zion". Also, it was so isloated and anyone who tried to leave in those days would be "killed by the indians" (chapters 9 & 16) according to Ann-Eliza young in Wife No. 19.

So, this is my story of how and why I left Mormonism. I now have a desire to help people coming out of cults. The freedom and life in Christ I now experience is something I never had in Mormonism (John 10:10).

Benji

Well I didn't read all of your post yet but I would like to explain real quick how all the God's work. They never began and they will never end. I know that doesn't make that much sence right now because we a motals are so used to time and the fact that with mortal life there is a start and an end. But there is one thing that we as humans no of that has no beggening not end and that is numbers.

Check it out...

Lets say God is 0 just to make things easy.

Before God there was negative numbers such as -1, -2, -3, -4, and so on to no end. After God there is 1, 2, 3, 4, and so on to no end.

Do you see how that works? I hope thats what you were asking. Just got back from working really hard in the sun so my mind might not be all together right now .

[Benji]

Well I didn't read all of your post yet but I would like to explain real quick how all the God's work. They never began and they will never end. I know that doesn't make that much sence right now because we a motals are so used to time and the fact that with mortal life there is a start and an end. But there is one thing that we as humans no of that has no beggening not end and that is numbers.

Check it out...

Lets say God is 0 just to make things easy.

Before God there was negative numbers such as -1, -2, -3, -4, and so on to no end. After God there is 1, 2, 3, 4, and so on to no end.

Do you see how that works? I hope thats what you were asking. Just got back from working really hard in the sun so my mind might not be all together right now

This does not make sense to me Brentley. Biblical Christianity teaches that there is one God who has always existed. Mormonism teaches that there are many gods and each was created by another. Mormons just believe in the god of this world. That's why my ultimate question to Mormonism is who was the first god? Of course, there is no answer because the logic breaks down very quickly.

Benji

[Hacedor Costoso]

Brentley said:

I was talking about the actual church not the people in the church. It seems that much of you are getting confused of what is pure and what not. I was clearly talking about the spirit. Trust me, I know how imperfect members can be (it is that way in all churches) but that is why it is so cool that Christ is at the head of this church. We can "listen" and follow Him.

Unfortunately, that doesn't help me.

The fact that "we" don't listen presupposes that there is a spirit to listen to.

The spirit thing stopped working for me - as it has for thousands of others.

The spirit will tell you something is true - that is until that something is no longer taught as true by the church. Then those stuck believing the spirit aren't "listening"?

Doesn't make any sense at all. And if there is a God, the least he/she could do is make a little bit of sense.

Hacedor

[Brentley]

Well I didn't read all of your post yet but I would like to explain real quick how all the God's work. They never began and they will never end. I know that doesn't make that much sence right now because we a motals are so used to time and the fact that with mortal life there is a start and an end. But there is one thing that we as humans no of that has no beggening not end and that is numbers.

Check it out...

Lets say God is 0 just to make things easy.

Before God there was negative numbers such as -1, -2, -3, -4, and so on to no end. After God there is 1, 2, 3, 4, and so on to no end.

Do you see how that works? I hope thats what you were asking. Just got back from working really hard in the sun so my mind might not be all together right now

This does not make sense to me Brentley. Biblical Christianity teaches that there is one God who has always existed. Mormonism teaches that there are many gods and each was created by another. Mormons just believe in the god of this world. That's why my ultimate question to Mormonism is who was the first god? Of course, there is no answer because the logic breaks down very quickly.

Benji

If you look at my post there is no first God. They never began just like numbers remember?

Also if you could show me where it says in the Bible that there is only one God besides talking about Christ that would be easier to explain. Also many times it says in the Bible that there is more that one god. Christ even calls us gods because he knew of how we would one day become them.

Read...

John 10

34 Jesus answered them, Is it not written in your law, I said, Ye are gods?

This is where is was said before

Psalm 82

6 I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.

Even in the beginning God said this.

Genesis

22 And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

Notice that he said "us". How powerful is that. God knew that we would one day become a God just like He and His Son.

Do you still believe the scriptures do not speak of our potential to Become like Heavenly Father? Would you like me to show you the scriptures out of the Book of Mormon and D&C as well? I have some more from the Bible too.

[Brentley]

Brentley said:

I was talking about the actual church not the people in the church. It seems that much of you are getting confused of what is pure and what not. I was clearly talking about the spirit. Trust me, I know how imperfect members can be (it is that way in all churches) but that is why it is so cool that Christ is at the head of this church. We can "listen" and follow Him.

Unfortunately, that doesn't help me.

The fact that "we" don't listen presupposes that there is a spirit to listen to.

The spirit thing stopped working for me - as it has for thousands of others.

The spirit will tell you something is true - that is until that something is no longer taught as true by the church. Then those stuck believing the spirit aren't "listening"?

Doesn't make any sense at all. And if there is a God, the least he/she could do is make a little bit of sense.

Hacedor

He makes perfect sense. That might what be what is so hard, it is the fact that it is not hard. The gospel is a simple and plain thing, even I can understand it. We don't need to be the smartest person to understand it.

You said that doctrines change and then we are expected to change what the spirit has told us. First of all it would help if you could share with us the doctrine. Did you loose faith in the spirit or faith in those who changed the doctrine? one thing that I have learned from being a member of this church is that I have the spirit of the Holy Ghost with me who is a member of the God head. I have been taught that if the Holy Ghost inspires me to do or not to do something than I should follow and not let one person stand in the way even if it is the prophet himself. The prophet may hold the keys of the Kingdom on earth but the Hold Ghost holds even more authority. I myself have found that the Holy Ghost has not disagreed of the doctrines of the church but I may not have known of the doctrine which you are speaking.

If the Holy Ghost has truly inspired something upon you and the church has changed it, you have the obligation to take it before the Bishop and bring before him your concern. It was not God that was confusing, it may have been the members, the doctrine, or maybe your understanding of it. But I don't know even if I knew of the situation but if would help if you could address it more and explain what you mean.

[Brentley]

Ave wrote: "It wasn't the true church.

Could you tell us how you know this? Thanks.

Just like while getting a divorce, "it wasn't true love". It's the only thing that can hide it away and make you feel comfortable excepting it. But truthfully I don't know. Just clearly my opinion. Please do not take offense. I'm just saying that it seems you went along with my thoery perfectly but only in my mind of course .

[ave maria]

Ave wrote: "It wasn't the true church.

Could you tell us how you know this? Thanks.

Just like while getting a divorce, "it wasn't true love". It's the only thing that can hide it away and make you feel comfortable excepting it. But truthfully I don't know. Just clearly my opinion. Please do not take offense. I'm just saying that it seems you went along with my thoery perfectly but only in my mind of course .

I don't know what you're talking about here, Brentley, unless you're confusing me with someone else.

[Brentley]

I left because I hold it to be self evident that the church can't be true if its founder was a fraud, and I am convinced that Joseph Smith was a fraud.

I stay away because the church isn't true.

I had no

[Brentley]

Ave wrote: "It wasn't the true church.

Could you tell us how you know this? Thanks.

Just like while getting a divorce, "it wasn't true love". It's the only thing that can hide it away and make you feel comfortable excepting it. But truthfully I don't know. Just clearly my opinion. Please do not take offense. I'm just saying that it seems you went along with my thoery perfectly but only in my mind of course .

I don't know what you're talking about here, Brentley, unless you're confusing me with someone else.

Sorry.

you said "it wasn't true". I was trying to compare what you said to the whole divorce thing. By living the church you said it was true if I were to compare that to a divorce you would say "it wasn't true love".

But like I said, that is just clearly my assumption and I'm sorry if I'm causing you confusion. I think I may be doing the same to myself .

[Benji]

you look at my post there is no first God. They never began just like numbers remember?

Also if you could show me where it says in the Bible that there is only one God besides talking about Christ that would be easier to explain. Also many times it says in the Bible that there is more that one god. Christ even calls us gods because he knew of how we would one day become them.

Read...

John 10

34 Jesus answered them, Is it not written in your law, I said, Ye are gods?

This is where is was said before

Psalm 82

6 I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.

Even in the beginning God said this.

Genesis

22 And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

Notice that he said "us". How powerful is that. God knew that we would one day become a God just like He and His Son.

Do you still believe the scriptures do not speak of our potential to Become like Heavenly Father? Would you like me to show you the scriptures out of the Book of Mormon and D&C as well? I have some more from the Bible too.

I am familiar with these verses from the Bible, Brentley. Your interpretation is a Mormon one and I'm not going to argue about it with you. It sounds to me like the only reason you asked why people have left is so you can try and win us back through different arguments. Please read my entire post and don't try to persuade me that Mormonism is true. I have argued with people on this board until I am blue in the face and I find it to be a fruitless exercise.

Benji

[Brentley]

Brentley said:

In this thread I am trying to find the true reason why you first left and then maybe after you answer a truthful answer you can explain your experience after leaving and why you stayed gone. Please do not take offense to this. I am just trying to understand and am sharing with you what I have understood so far. Correct me if I

[Brentley]

you look at my post there is no first God. They never began just like numbers remember?

Also if you could show me where it says in the Bible that there is only one God besides talking about Christ that would be easier to explain. Also many times it says in the Bible that there is more that one god. Christ even calls us gods because he knew of how we would one day become them.

Read...

John 10

34 Jesus answered them, Is it not written in your law, I said, Ye are gods?

This is where is was said before

Psalm 82

6 I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.

Even in the beginning God said this.

Genesis

22 And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:

Notice that he said "us". How powerful is that. God knew that we would one day become a God just like He and His Son.

Do you still believe the scriptures do not speak of our potential to Become like Heavenly Father? Would you like me to show you the scriptures out of the Book of Mormon and D&C as well? I have some more from the Bible too.

I am familiar with these verses from the Bible, Brentley. Your interpretation is a Mormon one and I'm not going to argue about it with you. It sounds to me like the only reason you asked why people have left is so you can try and win us back through different arguments. Please read my entire post and don't try to persuade me that Mormonism is true. I have argued with people on this board until I am blue in the face and I find it to be a fruitless exercise.

Benji

Why argue? It seems to me that you take too much offense to be right in this situation. Once someone has come to you with an issue or a question you want to make it an argument? Why? What makes you feel that you must argue your point?

I am not trying to make you a member even though I am trying to reach out to you. I am just looking for why you have left. I will read your post. But I must ask, where are the scriptures that "prove" there is only one god and how do the scriptures I presented to you not help?

Also another question that I must ask and I usually ask everyone. What has proven to you that the church isn't true and how does it over throw how we know the church is true?

Your loving brother,

Brentley Waters

[Zakuska]

Benji,

I am familiar with these verses from the Bible, Brentley. Your interpretation is a Mormon one and I'm not going to argue about it with you. It sounds to me like the only reason you asked why people have left is so you can try and win us back through different arguments. Please read my entire post and don't try to persuade me that Mormonism is true. I have argued with people on this board until I am blue in the face and I find it to be a fruitless exercise.

Oh no you don't... the Chruch Fathers of the 1st Century interpreted them exactly the same way. So how is this a "Mormon" interpretation?

Ill take their interpretation over your 19th-21st century interpretation any day! Who are you to tell them that they are interpreting Scripturte wrong? They gave you that little black book.

[Benji]

But I must ask, where are the scriptures that "prove" there is only one god and how do the scriptures I presented to you not help?

Deuteronomy 4:35

You were shown these things so that you might know that the LORD is God; besides him there is no other.

Deuteronomy 4:39

Acknowledge and take to heart this day that the LORD is God in heaven above and on the earth below. There is no other.

1 Kings 8:60

so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the LORD is God and that there is no other.

Isaiah 44:8

Do not tremble, do not be afraid. Did I not proclaim this and foretell it long ago? You are my witnesses. Is there any God besides me? No, there is no other Rock; I know not one."

Isaiah 45:5

I am the LORD, and there is no other; apart from me there is no God. I will strengthen you, though you have not acknowledged me,

Isaiah 45:6

so that from the rising of the sun to the place of its setting men may know there is none besides me. I am the LORD, and there is no other.

Isaiah 45:14

This is what the LORD says: "The products of Egypt and the merchandise of Cush, and those tall Sabeans

[Zakuska]

So then Benji you are telling us the Bible Lies?

Duet 32 El Elyon divied up the Nations to his 70 Divine sons. YHWH being the one who Got Israel.

[Benji]

What makes you feel that you must argue your point?

People like Zakuska.

Benji

[Brentley]

Hello Brentley,

I was raised in a TBM family. My dad was the ward clerk when I was a kid and my uncle is currently a bishop. I was always a very inquisitive child. The first question I remember asking around age 7 or 8 was about polygamy and the answer I got from my dad was, "Well the church used to do that but we don't anymore. You're too young to understand right now so don't worry about it." His answer left me feeling very dismissed and the idea that polygamy was ever a commandment seriously bothered me. As I got older I continued to ask more questions. Here is a dialogue I had with my Sunday School teacher as a deacon:

Me: Who made God?

My teacher: His Father

Me: Who made him?

My teacher: His Father

Me: Who made him?

My teacher: His Father

Me: Who made him?

My teacher: His Father

Me: Who made him?

My teacher: His Father

This did not make sense to me logically and my questioning continued. As a teacher, I had a conversation with my dad about why black people were denied the priesthood. He told me about the war in heaven and how blacks were less valiant in the war which is why their skin is darker. I think that was the final straw for me. Everything had been building for years and now I was 14 years old with the ability to articulate how I felt, along with the will to say I do not believe the Mormon church is true. About 5 years later I finally had my name removed from the records after the home teachers would not stop bothering me. It was around this time that my curiosity grew as to why my parents even joined the Mormon church in the first place (they were both converts and met at a church dance). I decided to do some research on Mormonism from the Public Library (This was in 1995, before the internet was as big as it is now). I found a book called Wife No. 19 that absolutely blew my mind. It is the autobiography of Brigham Young's 19th wife, Ann-Eliza Young. Her firsthand account of early Mormonism was heartwrenching. Here is what is written on the title page of the book:

WIFE No. 19, OR THE STORY OF A LIFE IN BONDAGE, BEING A COMPLETE EXPOSE OF MORMONISM, AND REVEALING THE SORROWS, SACRIFICES AND SUFFERINGS OF WOMEN IN POLYGAMY.

Also, here is the very last paragraph of the 605 page book:

"But one thing is certain. If one voice, or one pen, can exert any influence, the pen will never be laid aside, the voice will never be silenced. I have given myself to this work, and I have promised before God never to withdraw from it. It is my life mission; and I have faith to believe that my work will not be in vain, and that I shall live to see the foul curse removed, and Utah - my beloved Utah - free from the unholy rule of the religious tyrant, - Brigham Young."

I always thought Mormonism was a little strange and there were things that didn't quite add up for me but I never knew any of this stuff. Her book chronicles some horrifying accounts of what it was like to grow up in Utah while Brigham Young was in charge. By the way, He was 75 and she was 25 when they were married. Brigham forced her into the marriage by threatening to destroy her brother's business if she refused. That's just one of the many things from the book that is very revealing about the true nature of Brigham Young.

As my search for truth continued I learned about all the other dirty little secrets that you never hear growing up in the LDS church. These include the following: The original temple ceremony and the changes to it in 1990; Joseph and his many wives, how he acquired them from married men, and then lying about them to Mormons; the Kinderhook plates; the numerous changes to the BOM; the BOA issue; plaigerism in the BOM; blood atonement; racist speeches by Brigham Young; The Mountain Meadows Massacre; the connection between freemasonry and the temple ceremony; the numerous first vision accounts; and finally the DNA issue. It became clear to me that the LDS church was not only a little strange and untrue, but significant parts of its past were downright disturbing.

All of this was very overwhelming and it seemed like my entire life was based on a lie. I tried to tell my dad about some of the things I had discovered but he would not hear any of it and immediately wrote it all off as "anti-mormon material".

Eventually I became a Christian and discovered that Mormonism is just a counterfeit version of the true gospel, very similar to the Jehovah's Witnesses and Christian Scientists (incidentally all three were formed in the 1800's). It became very clear that Joseph Smith was a brilliant con-man who was very able to manipulate and deceive people. He must have been extremely charismatic. Brigham Young picked up where Joseph left off and continued the deception. Mormonism flourished in Utah because anyone who joined the church in those days had to come to "Zion". Also, it was so isloated and anyone who tried to leave in those days would be "killed by the indians" (chapters 9 & 16) according to Ann-Eliza young in Wife No. 19.

So, this is my story of how and why I left Mormonism. I now have a desire to help people coming out of cults. The freedom and life in Christ I now experience is something I never had in Mormonism (John 10:10).

Benji

Okay, I read it but I must give you some advice that I have learned in life. Unless the spirit confirms it or has manifested it unto you (you must make sure it is the spirit) do not place your faith or wisdom upon it.

Such as with the Book of Mormon for example, you must not set your faith upon it until the spirit has manifested it to you. Such as with what your dad told you, "you must not set your faith upon it until the spirit has manifested it to you". Even if what has been told to you is true, you must not place your faith upon it unless the spirit has manifested it to you because if you don't follow that precept you will encounter many un explained questions and doubts and the gospel will seem like a big fat lie.

Obviously anti's have not received the spirit of it, that is why they get such a different perspective of it than we do. Our perspective may seem foolish but that is exactly what it is supposed to seem, "for the wisdom of God is foolishness unto man". I encourage you to first find the spirit by finding how it answers and what it is (I'm sure it has spoken to you before), listen to the spirit, and except the spirit. Until you can learn how to do this, the gospel will seem very foolish to you because you will be spiritually discerned.

I hope that you took no offence and that you truly felt of my love.

[Benji]

"for the wisdom of God is foolishness unto man".

This is referring to the humility of Christ, Brentley. Here is the exact verse:

1 Corinthians 1:25

Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

Benji