Could A Member Of The Church Attend A Gay Wedding?

[KevinG]

I see lots of scriptures admonishing me to love my children. I see none telling me to show public disapproval if they do something I consider a sin.

[mercyngrace]

I think there's a difference between socializing with sinners and participating in an activity with sinners. I love my friends, but I don't hang out with them when they drink. I don't go to Rated R movies with them.

I guess it depends on how you see the wedding.

I don't see the couple as inviting me to share in their same-sex activities.

I see them as asking me to affirm that I love them.

I don't see heterosexual people as inviting me into their relationships when I get a wedding invitation from straight couples either.

[MorningStar]

I guess it depends on how you see the wedding.

I don't see the couple as inviting me to share in their same-sex activities.

I see them as asking me to affirm that I love them.

I don't see heterosexual people as inviting me into their relationships when I get a wedding invitation from straight couples either.

That's not how I described it. I think the ceremony is sacrilegious and I don't want to witness it. My friends might invite me to a bar and it's not because they want me to drink. I don't want to be around drinking. I'm happy to do something with them that doesn't involve drinking. I'm also not offended that they haven't attended my kids' baptisms.

[MorningStar]

I see lots of scriptures admonishing me to love my children. I see none telling me to show public disapproval if they do something I consider a sin.

Yes, but what if one of your kids were in a skanky movie. Would you go to it? If not, would that be public disapproval of them? You can love your children and not go to the movie.

[Jaybear]

[

Oh Oh more diversity of opinion among Mormons. Someone alert the media - the mind control is slipping!

I don't recall your leaders telling you not to attend gay weddings. If that had been the case, then I would expect a different discussion.

[BCSpace]

...and remain in good standing? This is a question I've been thinking about lately. I only ask it out of curiosity.

What are your thoughts on this?

Yes they can remain in good standing relative to the Church. But I believe they have a duty not to even if it's their own kin. Romans 1:32 is very clear about showing support for these types of sins being just as sinful as the act itself. The consequences for this will be applied naturally (for example, if you show your own children you support this kind of thing and they end up in a similar boat when they grow up) or by God in Judgement or withholding blessings etc.. Being in good standing with the Church and being in good standing with God are two entirely different things.

[KevinG]

Yes, but what if one of your kids were in a skanky movie. Would you go to it? If not, would that be public disapproval of them? You can love your children and not go to the movie.

A better example would be if one of my kids were starring in a skanky movie. Then again my kids are active LDS so the discussion of what they/I should do would have occurred long before the screening.

I would probably end up supporting their efforts regardless of what I thought of the effort. However, even that is not as important as a wedding.

[KevinG]

Yes they can remain in good standing relative to the Church. But I believe they have a duty not to even if it's their own kin. Romans 1:32 is very clear about showing support for these types of sins being just as sinful as the act itself. The consequences for this will be applied naturally (for example, if you show your own children you support this kind of thing and they end up in a similar boat when they grow up) or by God in Judgement or withholding blessings etc.. Being in good standing with the Church and being in good standing with God are two entirely different things.

Showing love for your children makes it more likely for them to adopt your values when they are grown. This is scriptural and backed up with psychological studies.

While showing support for a child without supporting their sins is a delicate balance I think Christ had it right when he chose to sup with those who were cast out of polite society and be a light to them.

[why me]

How would the local church know that I attended a same sex wedding? Do I need to report my doings? And so, how can I be in bad standing when it is my own business if I attended or not. I can see myself going into a bishop's office and saying that I attended a same sex wedding? I think that the bishop would say, great...how was it?

Edited April 2, 2012 by why me

[mercyngrace]

That's not how I described it. I think the ceremony is sacrilegious and I don't want to witness it. My friends might invite me to a bar and it's not because they want me to drink. I don't want to be around drinking. I'm happy to do something with them that doesn't involve drinking. I'm also not offended that they haven't attended my kids' baptisms.

MS,

That's why I said "it depends how you see the wedding."

My non-member family and friends come to LDS meetings and ordinances from time to time and I don't interpret that as an endorsement of my beliefs. And I am frequently at gatherings where people drink and smoke. Sometimes I even skip church to attend these wild parties (we actually refer to them as "family reunions" - LOL).

[Sky]

Yes they can remain in good standing relative to the Church. But I believe they have a duty not to even if it's their own kin. Romans 1:32 is very clear about showing support for these types of sins being just as sinful as the act itself. The consequences for this will be applied naturally (for example, if you show your own children you support this kind of thing and they end up in a similar boat when they grow up) or by God in Judgement or withholding blessings etc.. Being in good standing with the Church and being in good standing with God are two entirely different things.

If your conscience so dictates that you shouldn't go, then by all means don't.

But I picture God being far more merciful than you give Him credit for. And you might see it differently if one of your own kids turned out to be gay.

[mtomm]

I'd go. I wouldn't even ask who the caterer was first. (Not that we have those where I live but you get the idea.)

[liliella]

of course a church member could attend a gay wedding, i personally feel it says more about you in a bad way if you dont attend when invited. why would you discriminate when jesus loves everyone not just straight people !!

[Jaybear]

of course a church member could attend a gay wedding, i personally feel it says more about you in a bad way if you dont attend when invited. why would you discriminate when jesus loves everyone not just straight people !!

Seems to me that if someone honestly and sincerely believes that gay marriage is a real threat to the moral foundation of the country, I should not expect to see them at a gay wedding cheering on the couple.

[wenglund]

Oh Oh more diversity of opinion among Mormons. Someone alert the media - the mind control is slipping!

I am guessing the media and church critics are likely to figure that there would be a shortage of Kool-Aid drinking during hard economic times.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[BCSpace]

Yes they can remain in good standing relative to the Church. But I believe they have a duty not to even if it's their own kin. Romans 1:32 is very clear about showing support for these types of sins being just as sinful as the act itself. The consequences for this will be applied naturally (for example, if you show your own children you support this kind of thing and they end up in a similar boat when they grow up) or by God in Judgement or withholding blessings etc.. Being in good standing with the Church and being in good standing with God are two entirely different things.

Showing love for your children makes it more likely for them to adopt your values when they are grown. This is scriptural and backed up with psychological studies.

While showing support for a child without supporting their sins is a delicate balance I think Christ had it right when he chose to sup with those who were cast out of polite society and be a light to them.

However, this is a specifically mentioned case (homosexuality et. al.) and the scriptures also do state:

34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.

35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

36 And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.

37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

Matthew 10

But I picture God being far more merciful than you give Him credit for. And you might see it differently if one of your own kids turned out to be gay.

I have several married children and children at home down to four years old. I can say with surety that I surely would not attend if one of them chose the homosexual lifestyle.

Edited April 2, 2012 by BCSpace

[wenglund]

I, personally, wouldn't attend a gay wedding, not just because I view those weddings as morally objectionable, but also because I don't look good in pastels.

I can respect that others of my faith may see it differently, and since attendance at such weddings is entirely irrelevant to the attendee fulfilling the 4-fold mission of the church, I don't see why it would be factored into church standing. Certainly, I have seen no indication that it is--any more than taking someone to get an abortion.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[mercyngrace]

Yes they can remain in good standing relative to the Church. But I believe they have a duty not to even if it's their own kin. Romans 1:32 is very clear about showing support for these types of sins being just as sinful as the act itself. The consequences for this will be applied naturally (for example, if you show your own children you support this kind of thing and they end up in a similar boat when they grow up) or by God in Judgement or withholding blessings etc.. Being in good standing with the Church and being in good standing with God are two entirely different things.

Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

1. You can attend without "doing the same."

2. You can attend without having "pleasure in them that do them" (i.e. to think in common with or assent to).

[Sky]

I can say with surety that I surely would not attend if one of them chose the homosexual lifestyle.

I believe you, but I hope this doesn't mean that you would also stop loving them or stop communicating with them altogether.

[Mark Beesley]

My wife and I recently attended a reception for her cousin (I'll call her Anna) who had married another woman in Hawaii. We originally thought we would be going to the wedding, but later learned that the wedding had been conducted earlier in a private ceremony. I believe that Anna had the wedding earlier and separate out of consideration for her father who was unaware of his daughter’s same-sex attraction until shortly before flying to Hawaii from L.A. Speaking with him at the reception, it was clear that Anna's father was distressed, but he put on a brave face. He told us that he loved his daughter and it was his responsibility to support and love her, even if he disagreed with choices she made. Anna's youth minister from L.A. hosted the reception, and it was clear that he was not a fan of SSM. But he was there to support Anna as well.

My wife spent more time than me talking with the cousins, and she described a number of them who were there but were clearly unhappy about Anna's marriage. Anna anticipated some of this, in fact, she had earlier asked my wife what my reaction would be if we were invited because she knew of our religious background and a few months ago I had spoken with Anna at some length about the Church. Knowing that Anna was concerned, I made an extra effort not to make Anna or her companion (Alex) uncomfortable. It wasn't difficult because Anna and Alex are both extremely friendly (particularly Alex).

A couple of days after the reception, we went to dinner with Anna and Alex, and went for dessert at the Snow Factory. (If you like shave ice, Snow is exponentially better). We had a great time. Afterwards, Anna asked my wife about the reactions of some of the cousins at the reception, but before Joyce could respond, we were interrupted. Anna was apparently still concerned about keeping good familial relationships.

As I have mulled this over, it occurs to me that most of us should have no problem attending the wedding or reception for Same Sex couples because most of us do not have stewardship for them. It’s not my job to tell Anna or Alex what the Lord expects of them. My job is to love them unconditionally and just be a good example. (Personally, I prefer hanging out with Babylonians because it is easier to be a good example to them as opposed to trying to be good example to someone living in Zion . . .) Up to a point, Anna’s father had stewardship for teaching his daughter, but that time has passed, and he now just has to love her. The same thing goes for her cousins.

So, having basically relieved everyone who know Anna and Alex of any responsibility of stewardship, the question becomes, who does have stewardship? And the answer is the bishop who presides over the geographical area where they live, and if they should ever decide to seek out guidance from an LDS bishop, I am confident he will competently execute his stewardship.

Thanks for listening.

[Sky]

Seems to me that if someone honestly and sincerely believes that gay marriage is a real threat to the moral foundation of the country, I should not expect to see them at a gay wedding cheering on the couple.

Normally yes.

But if attending a gay wedding is what you have to do in order to maintain a close relationship with a loved one, then in my opinion it is okay to make an exception.

[Jaybear]

I am guessing the media and church critics are likely to figure that there would be a shortage of Kool-Aid drinking during hard economic times.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

What do you consider diverse?

According to this recent poll, only 9% of Mormons in Utah thought that gay marriage should be legal.

This included all self identified Mormons, not just active Mormons.

By contrast, 44% of Catholics in this poll believe gay marriage should be legal.

My wife and I recently attended a reception for her cousin (I'll call her Anna) who had married another woman in Hawaii.

....

Thanks for listening.

Gay marriage is not legal in Hawaii .... yet.

[mercyngrace]

Seems to me that if someone honestly and sincerely believes that gay marriage is a real threat to the moral foundation of the country, I should not expect to see them at a gay wedding cheering on the couple.

Who is Gay?

Is Gay's name on the invitation?

Is she the bride or is he the groom?

I could see your point if one were wedding hopping to make some sort of political statement but I'd bet most people attend weddings because they care about one or both of the people who are getting married.

Personally, I have never attended a wedding to make a political statement or to approve or reprove of someone's choices. I've always attended because I care deeply about one of the someones in the fancy clothes.

[Cobalt-70]

A congregational "declaration of consent" is a traditional part of Episcopalian marriages. (e.g. “Will all of you witnessing these promises do all in your power to uphold these two persons in their marriage? People We will.” http://www.auburn.ed...ulcm/wed04.html)

There's a simple solution: If you are attending such a marriage, but you are secretly or overtly planning to destroy that marriage in the voting booth, you simply keep quiet when everybody else says, "We will." You don't have to leave the ceremony.

Edited April 2, 2012 by Cobalt-70

[Mark Beesley]

Gay marriage is not legal in Hawaii .... yet.

And yet gays and lesbians are still having weddings and receptions in Hawaii. Go figure.